Several years ago, I shared with you in a Mom’s Corner something that always hurts my heart. When I walk in the mornings, I pass by several day-care homes. I watch mommies and daddies take little children and babies from their car seats, carrying them into a house to spend the day while they go to work. My mind quickly imagines my own little ones snug in their beds, soon to wake and spend their whole day with their mommy and family. My heart fills with sadness for those day-care children and gratitude for my own children’s circumstances.

Remembering these scenes is good for me when I am tempted to complain or murmur about my situation. If I consider the alternatives to what I am doing, I know there isn’t anything in the world I would rather be doing. I also don’t feel there is anything else in the world of greater importance.

So why do I get discouraged? I let my thoughts dwell on the negative parts of my circumstances rather than keeping them fixed on gratefulness for them. If each time my little one’s fussing began getting to me, I were to think, “Lord, I am so grateful that this child is here with me and not spending each day with someone else,” rather than, “Will this child ever stop crying?”–wouldn’t that give me a different perspective on the difficulty?

I can truthfully tell you I know this principle in my mind, but putting it into practice isn’t something that comes naturally. As a matter of fact, I am selfish and will think “poor me” thoughts if the situation lends itself to such thoughts. I have had to see my discouragement as displeasing to my Lord and confess it as sin. In God’s time, as I cry out to Him to strengthen me in this area of weakness, He has been giving me the grace to think the right thoughts in what are naturally discouraging circumstances to me. It is a process He is still taking me through.

How much am I walking consistently, day by day, in gratefulness? When was the last time I thanked my husband for his hard work out of the home that allows me to stay home? Am I regularly expressing my gratefulness to my children for being able to be home so I can homeschool them? These thoughts need to be in my mind and then shared with my family.

Last year, I would tell one of my children that my school time with him was one of the very best parts of my day. Almost every day, he would reply that it wasn’t good for him. I continued day after day and eventually the closeness and expressed love for our time together overcame his dislike of the school material. He eventually stopped his negative remarks, reaching over for my hand and giving me a big smile when I shared my happiness over our school time.

Will my family think I am a content wife and mother if what they see and hear is discouragement and complaining? I can know in my heart that I am content and happy, but those around me want to hear me say it in words. Frequently, I will find if I am happy they are happy. My spirit and attitude is conveyed and transferred to them.

May we as homeschooling mothers remember to have grateful hearts for our tremendous privilege of being at home with our children. May we know that the investment of our lives in our families will count for eternity instead of being burned up as wood, hay, and stubble in an outside job. May our attitudes and faces convey to our family the contentment we find in our role as wife, mother, and teacher.

Most of our homeschool support group knows we have been, as a family, waiting; we are waiting longer for this baby to arrive than for any other birth yet. This has been good for each member of our family in developing patience. We trust completely in God’s sovereignty over the timing for bringing our baby. We are daily given opportunities to be gentle and patient, to think about others’ needs rather than our own, to keep murmurs and complaints to ourselves, and to keep our attitudes positive.

We don’t know why this baby did not come before its due date as six of our seven children have or why it is lingering longer than the one other that went past due date. But there are some things that, from our perspective, could have played a part. The week before the baby was due our four little children came down with colds that lasted for a week and a half. Had our baby been born at that time, the sick ones would have had to look at the baby from a distance, not being allowed to touch it so it would be protected from their illness. Having the baby wait also gave me the pleasure of not missing the first homeschool meeting but getting the opportunity to see old friends and meet new ones.

As we have looked to the Lord for what He wants us to learn through waiting on a baby, I have seen how waiting applies in our homeschooling situations. There we are often waiting too: waiting for direction on a curriculum decision, waiting for a child to grasp a concept, waiting for character growth, waiting, waiting, waiting.

With a baby, as in some homeschooling waiting opportunities, we have no choice but to wait on God’s timing. What we can choose in the waiting is our attitude. I can complain each time I am asked about whether the baby has come or not, or I can have a positive response. I can focus on my discomfort, lack of sleep, and impatience for a tiny baby, or I can focus on the Lord, praising Him throughout the difficulties.

During any waiting process, I want to make sure my heart is constantly on the Lord with an attitude of praise rather than murmuring. My tendency is toward self-pity and complaint during a difficult waiting situation. I want to manipulate the circumstances, force an answer or solution, and mutter my frustrations to my husband. Is that God’s way or my way? God wants to use that time period to turn my heart and reliance to Him. When that happens, He receives the glory.

Recently, we had a decision to make concerning which of three phonics programs to use. I wanted the decision made quickly so I could get on with my planning for the new school year, but the decision was not an easy, cut-and-dried one. I pondered over it, poured over the programs several times, discussed the pros and cons with Steve, and complained about how hard it was to decide. Finally, Steve suggested that I start praying about it, waiting on the Lord for an answer. That was what I should have done in the first place.

I can excitedly report that when I did what God wanted me to do, the decision was not nearly as hard as I had made it to be in my own thinking. I saw God’s direction and leading, but it didn’t come the first time I prayed about it. Each time I started to feel anxious about no decision, that would be my signal to pray for God’s will rather than worrying. As Steve and I discussed those phonics programs, it was clear to us that one of them could easily be blessed by the Lord because of the content used to teach the phonics. That was where we felt the Lord guiding. If I doubt the decision, it is an opportunity to go back to praying and put my mind on trusting God. The decision was made under His direction; it should be left in His control.

As we face these waiting situations in homeschooling, may God teach us to accept them with a positive heart and expectant attitude just as we can choose to wait with joy for the arrival of a baby. His answers to needs that involve waiting for homeschooling are just as trustworthy as His answer to when a baby is brought into the world.

P.S. Our time of waiting for Mary ended eight days after her due date. We had some challenges with the labor that we had not experienced with any of our other babies. Since she came after due date, we had many friends and family interested, concerned, and praying for her delivery. Do you think God had us wait so He could answer the prayers of His people on behalf of Mary and me? We praise our Lord Jesus, giving Him the glory for Mary’s arrival.

Early morning walks take me past several day-care homes where I observe mommies dropping their children off. My heart is always heavy as I watch the process, but filled with gratitude that I have the privilege and make the choice to keep mine home with me. I hope that as the years go by, my children will realize their preciousness through seeing the investment God has led their dad and mom to make in them. We express to them their preciousness by giving of our time and resources to keep them in the environment where they are more loved than anywhere else in the world. But I also know how important it is for us to verbalize to them their preciousness.

Recently, in an effort to convey to two of my little boys the necessity of being kind to each other, I started by looking at each of them and telling them of their preciousness to me. Those two little boys’ faces lit up. They were so happy with what I had told them. They remembered it that evening when Daddy came home and wanted to tell him at the dinner table.

That one simple situation made me see how easy it is to be at home with my children, involved with them all day long, and yet not express to them how precious they are to me. I can be so busy that my conversations with them don’t even involve eye contact because I am doing another task as we talk. I need to have the Lord remind me to get eyeball to eyeball with them and let them know how much I love them, how special they are, how valuable they are, and what they mean to me.

Certainly, as we begin a new school year, our focus can be so intense on schooling that we forget our desire to value the ones in whom we are investing our lives through homeschooling. We are so close to everything that goes on with our children that our gaze often is fixed on their faults and shortcomings. We feel a responsibility to train our children in the admonition of the Lord and to build godly character in their lives, so we spend our time teaching and disciplining. Do we take an equal amount of time to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord? Can we speak words of love, encouragement, and value–building them up, looking them in the eye, and holding them close to us?

As we start a school year with the excitement of fresh beginnings, I pray each of our children will know of their preciousness to us and to the Lord. I pray that all of our teaching interactions can be without pressure and criticism, but characterized by an attitude of patience and love. This school year, may we as mothers embody the qualities we want to see grow and develop in our children.

My heart is heavy as I write this Mom’s Corner because Tim P. is at his earthly home, nearing his heavenly home-going. We have followed with prayers, interest, concern, and support the course of the battle this past year with Tim’s brain cancer. The final chapter is now being written.

Sarah had the privilege of visiting Tim last Friday with her grandmother. When she came home she related how quick Wendy, Tim’s mother, was to respond to each of Tim’s calls and how patient she was with him even when it wasn’t easy to determine what he needed.

What an encouragement to each of us moms to treat our children with that same love and respect. It is easy for me to fall into the trap of impatient tones, harsh words, and anger as I deal, day to day, with my children. Would I respond the same if I knew that I had only a short time left with that child? Or would I work hard to handle the situation with gentleness, love, and patience?

Surely, each day, the Lord would have me recognize the value and preciousness of the children He has given to me. I do not want to take them for granted. Despite the fact that I have a responsibility to train my children, which involves some discipline, my home should be as filled with smiles, encouragement, praise, security, and love as it would be if I knew I were spending the last few hours with my child. Even when discipline is necessary, it can be done with a quiet spirit and attitude, which will be much more effective than harshness or anger.

Sometimes I get so focused on the goals of the day and what needs to be accomplished that those God has placed me in the home to serve become no longer my ministry, but an interference. They have to be worked around so I can get done what I want to get done. I pray that as my heart has been touched by Tim and his family, God can keep my eyes on the children He has given me to minister to. Then I will interact with each one as an individual with needs that God has enabled me to help meet.

Wendy has shared with our homeschool group what homeschooling has meant to her these past two years. It gave her valuable time with a precious son. When she started homeschooling, she didn’t know how little time she had left with Tim. I hope that each of us will also value the time God has given us with our children in this endeavor of homeschooling. May the educating not become so big that we lose the opportunity to cherish each precious child.