Monthly Archives: March 2020

Not in My lifetime

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What do Noah, Abraham, David, and Judas all have in common? What came to my mind is that each was living normal life and suddenly a significant, unforeseen opportunity was presented to them. In response to that opportunity:

  • Noah could have told the Lord he knew nothing of shipbuilding. 
  • David could have followed worldly wisdom and chosen not to fight Goliath. 
  • Abraham could have said he wouldn’t sacrifice his beloved son Isaac. 
  • Judas could have said he would follow Jesus and not betray Him.

A real measure of a man is when he is presented with a challenge. How does he respond? Your family and others are watching your response to the current world situation and possible disruption to your “entitlements.” Are you focused on self or others? Are you at peace and purposing to redeem the time? 

My brothers use every minute. Invest in your family, love them, be at peace and full of praise for the Lord Jesus Who is worthy. 

“For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:20).

Reversing Entitlement Part 2

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Children with an entitlement mentality will seldom (ever?) be pleased, grateful, or content. Unless they get what they want, and when they want it, they are bitter and complaining. Might the children of Israel be an example worth considering? 

The Israelites were Egyptian slaves and had been in Egypt for 400 years. God sent Moses, the meekest man in the world, to lead them out. There were hardships as they traveled, but they should have said, “We are free. Thank You, Lord, for every breath of air You give us outside of Egypt. We are on our way to the promised land!” Instead with every hardship, they grumbled and complained. 

How could your family learn from the Israelites? During family Bible time, read and discuss the exodus. Might there be other examples in Scripture that could be learned from as well?

Through this study, you can seek agreement in the family that: 

1. We don’t want this mindset. 

2. We agree to work on thanking and praising God for all that He provides.

3. Everyone (Dad and Mom too) is looking for bad and good examples in their lives and the lives of others with the eventual goal of sharing good and bad examples at the end of the day. 

“How long shall I bear with this evil congregation, which murmur against me? I have heard the murmurings of the children of Israel, which they murmur against me” (Numbers 14:27). 

Reversing entitlement part 1

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A brother wrote after last week’s Seriously asking, “How does one avoid or reverse an entitlement mentality in children?” Here is what I’m learning about this.

Always at the top of the list for discipling children is the double-edged sword of the parent’s example. Nothing will do more harm or more to reverse negative behavior/attitudes in the children than the parent’s harmful or beneficial example in daily life. 

Deuteronomy 6:5 says, “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” That describes the relationship of abiding in Christ (John 15). When we abide, we ask, and God answers. As God responds, we acknowledge, we praise, and we thank Him for Who He is and what He does. “I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth” (Psalm 34:1). 

Does that describe us or at least the desire of our hearts and the direction we are headed? A grateful heart connects to a mouth overflowing with praise to our God for His blessings. That sort of heart also notices, appreciates, and verbally expresses all that is done around and for us. That is much different from the man who notices and complains about all that doesn’t fit his liking. 

Our children are watching us! Which example are we?

To be continued.

Blessings become Curses

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Parents who love their children delight in blessing them. However, have you noticed how consistently doing the same kind thing for someone can (usually does) cause that blessing to become expected? Then if for some reason that blessing is not done, the blesser (you) is resented instead of appreciated. If that continues, over time bitterness is likely. Oh, how quickly the flesh develops an entitlement mentality.

Some symptoms your child is developing an entitlement mentality might be: ungratefulness, laziness, and resentment toward you. Real gratitude is deeper than him replying with a simple “thank you.” Observe how he responds when an expected blessing is not forthcoming, or you ask him to do an additional job? 

“Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled” (Hebrews 12:15).

The Power of a Schedule

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Stepping back into homeschool life as a grandma helping her son and daughter-in-law after a new baby’s birth, I am even more convinced of the need for a schedule in a homeschool family than I was 30 years ago in my own homeschooling time. How is a mom (or grandma) going to manage 6 children ages 7 and under, prepare meals, clean house and do laundry, and homeschool without a plan?

If you want to be productive and efficient in your homeschooling and achieve that with a peaceful, quiet heart, your schedule will be your strongest tool. You can have the best curriculum out there, but if you hardly ever have time to homeschool, what does it matter? You might have a desire for spiritual growth for your children, but if you are stressed and angry, will that be the outcome?

Self-Discipline 

Some might say to me, “Mrs. Maxwell, I don’t have the self-discipline to follow a schedule.” 

My response would be, “You will bless yourself and your children if you set that mindset aside and decide today to ask the Lord to help you develop whatever self-discipline you need for a schedule. Next to salvation, self-discipline might be your children’s greatest ally through life. Don’t waste any opportunity the Lord gives you to grow self-discipline and move your children toward it as well.”

The schedule gives direction to you and your children. With it, life is not chaotic, run by the most urgent fire to be put out. Instead, it has a vibrancy letting you live in the present, knowing exactly what to do and meeting needs but also either preparing for the ones to come or knowing when their time is scheduled.

The Team

In the process with your schedule, you make your children part of the team. Every homeschooling mom needs help. She wants to develop that team when her children are young and fine-tune it as they grow. Without scheduled activities to keep babies and toddlers occupied and without scheduled tasks for preschoolers, they can undo what you are trying to accomplish more quickly than you can do it. What you schedule for them is part of their development of self-control. I have observed families who do it both ways, and I can assure you the moms with children who have learned age-appropriate self-control are much happier moms with way less stress.

Start Simple

Begin scheduling by setting structured times for simple basics like bedtime, wake up time, Bible time, and meal times. Perhaps your greatest challenge will be for you and your husband to lead the way with a consistent bedtime and wake up time. Do it. It is worth it! After the basics are established add in chore time and school time. Then fill in other available time with other activities.

Be the Best

Once you have lived life with a schedule, I don’t think you will ever be satisfied to go back to the way you were living before. Give yourself that opportunity to see what life can be like when it has structure, and you experience productivity and efficiency with the positive emotions that go along with it. 

If you need help, that is what I feel God has called me to do and what I love: to teach and encourage moms about scheduling who don’t come to scheduling intuitively. We have two resources to help you: Managers of Their Homes and Managers of Their Chores. 

Determine now to be the best homeschool mom you can be utilizing the powerful tool of a schedule. Your whole family will be blessed by that decision.