Monthly Archives: July 2026

A  Deep Ugly Root

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A  Deep Ugly Root

I absolutely love how the Lord works to His glory and our good through His indwelling Spirit and the Word by sharpening and equipping to make us more useable. Recently, He has been revealing to me my pride. It started in my daily time in the Word. How the Spirit will use that time as an investment in our walk with Him. Better to not eat a bite of food all day than miss a quality time in the Word in the morning.

That morning through my Scripture reading, pride was clearly highlighted as a problem in my life. Since then it has become the daily focus in thought, the Word, and prayer. This verse is instrumental in that: “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate” (Proverbs 8:13). In that one verse, hate is used twice! This is no sugar coating it, but a clear picture of what God thinks of pride. It is EVIL, and I’m to hate it! 

Notice, pride is the first thing mentioned in this list that God hates. Pride will keep you from fear of the Lord.  Pride lifts up, when humility is the example of Christ Himself. “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:5-8).

I want the mind of Christ. I want to live for Him. “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:29). 

Neither Ditch

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Aren’t you happy when driving down the highway and you are able to keep the car out of either ditch? Sort of makes your day, doesn’t it? Might you reply, “Actually, if that was my only goal, I’m still at great risk from oncoming traffic if I’m weaving back and forth across the whole road.” Oh, I get it, but then why do so many believers seem to steer their walk with Christ with the goal of “staying out of either ditch, spiritually?” Meaning, they want to avoid being seen as making horrible sinful choices and yet not be viewed as too holy? 

That isn’t consistent with “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service” (Romans 12:1). 

However, holiness is not a bunch of checkboxes, if I don’t do this I’m holy. Yes, it does involve what I do and don’t do, but what am I bringing into my mind? What delights my soul? “But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;  Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy” (1 Peter 1:15-16).

Contentious Spirit or Biblical Respect

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Being a godly wife who desires a thriving marriage requires intentionality, grace, and a willingness to surrender our natural impulses to the wisdom of Scripture. For a Christian wife, Scripture specifically gives us one of the most profound ways to express love for her husband–respect (Eph 5:33). We often equate respect with conditional agreement, but the Word of God anchors it in a wife’s disposition and heart attitude. True respect often manifests not in what a wife says, but in what she chooses to release, allowing her husband the room to lead, make decisions, and grow into and be the spiritual head of the home.

The Erosion of Critique

Scripture draws a stark contrast between a home built on peace and one fractured by contention. Proverbs warns against the devastating impact of a critical spirit, noting that, “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” (Proverbs 27:15). When a wife constantly questions decisions her husband makes, frequently offers a “better” idea, or regularly corrects him, she becomes that repetitive, wearing drip. This relentless erosion chips away at a man’s confidence and his desire to lead. The toll of this friction is so severe that Proverbs twice declares, “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide  house.” (Proverbs 21:9, 25:24). We want our husbands to find the home we make for him to be a sanctuary from the battles of the world, not the place where he fights more battles.

The Power of a Meek and Quiet Spirit

To counter the temptation we wives have of criticism, God calls us to cultivate a meek and quiet spirit. Peter encourages women to focus on an internal beauty that holds eternal value: “Even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:4). A meek and quiet spirit is not weak. Rather, it is strength under control. It is a spirit anchored in trust—not trust in a husband’s perfection, but ultimate trust in God’s sovereignty. When a wife refrains from correcting her husband’s every word or redoing his chores because they were not done her way, she creates an atmosphere where grace can flourish. She signals that her relationship with her husband is more valuable than being right.

Cultivating Biblical Respect

This meek and quiet spirit directly fuels the biblical command for outward behavior. In Ephesians Paul instructs, “And the wife see that she reverence her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). To reverence or respect a husband means to notice him, regard him, and honor him as the leader God appointed. When a wife constantly intercepts his choices with her own alternatives, she inadvertently communicates that she does not trust his judgment. By stepping back and letting his decisions stand—even when they might lead to a mistake—she honors his position. Men learn to lead by leading, and a husband will step into his leadership more fully when he knows his wife is cheering him on rather than grading his performance.

Ultimately, a wife’s choosing not to criticize, correct, or question her husband’s every decision is an act of worship of the Lord. It reflects a humble heart that trusts God to guide her husband. When a wife trades a contentious, dripping spirit for a meek and quiet one, she transforms her home into a place of peace. Her respect becomes the fertile soil in which her husband can confidently grow into the man, provider, and spiritual leader God created him to be. May I encourage you to listen and watch yourself. What spirit do you have toward your husband? 

Victim or Owner

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It amazes me that the cry of today seems to be: not my fault, he did it, that wasn’t fair, injustice, no one taught me, no one warned me, the government should have, and the list goes on. How freeing of responsibility when the problem isn’t my fault.

If you are a parent you have heard it all, but it doesn’t seem to solve any problems, does it? Somehow it does make the proclaimer feel better. If it is someone else’s fault than the child can’t be held responsible for his actions, right? The mantra of today is as old as creation. “And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat” (Genesis 3:12).

What’s the answer? First, we examine ourselves. Do we make excuses? Is that the example we set for the family? If that is your problem, you, with the Lord’s help, resolve it starting now.

Then work with your children. Define the problem to your children. Explain why it isn’t good and why it is important that we take personal responsibility for our actions and words. This is critical because we read, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5:10). 

Clear ownership for our actions is the standard. Help your children understand what that looks like in daily life. Then be sure you affirm them when they follow the standard rather than dishing out the consequences that come with ownership of the problem for a set period of time.