Monthly Archives: June 2020

Building Up or Tearing Down Your Family

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It grieves my heart to hear a dad say he isn’t leading his family in the Word every day. We aren’t to be motivated in a legalistic, checking a box sort of way, but rather to use it as a joyful opportunity to wash/feed your family with the pure living Word of God (Eph. 5:26). It is a daily opportunity to build up while Satan is working to tear down.

God uses the analogy of building a house to a legacy of descendants that will follow the Lord. “And it shall be, if thou wilt hearken unto all that I command thee, and wilt walk in my ways, and do that is right in my sight, to keep my statutes and my commandments, as David my servant did; that I will be with thee, and build thee a sure house, as I built for David, …” (1 Kings 11:38).

I love the example in Nehemiah as he rebuilt the walls. “As for the builders, each wore his sword girded at his side as he built” (Nehemiah 4:18). This pictures always having the Word of God ready and at your side while you build. “And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Ephesians 6:17).

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

Building a Godly Legacy – Part 4

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God inspired many Scripture authors to use the expression “son of” over 1,600 times throughout the Bible. God is purposeful and does nothing by accident. Notice that reading “son of” links the person/identity of father/mother to the son? Let’s briefly consider the need to be purposeful in influencing our children for good, because after we are gone, that impression lives on.

Benaiah, one of David’s mighty men, walked in his father Jehoida’s footsteps. “And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man, of Kabzeel, who had done many acts. . .” (2 Samuel 23:20).

David’s heart and life impacted Solomon for good. “And Solomon the son of David was strengthened in his kingdom, and the Lord his God was with him, and magnified him exceedingly” (2 Chronicles 1:1). 

Sadly, our negative example is far easier for our children to catch than our good one due to our sin nature. First look at David: “And David took him more concubines and wives out of Jerusalem. . .” (2 Samuel 5:13).

Now see what his son does. “And he (Solomon) had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart. For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father” (1 Kings 11:3-4).

Next, consider God’s timing and purpose for the mention of Judas’ father. “And supper being ended, the devil having now put into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him” (John13:2). Might the mention here of Judas being Simon’s son infer some role of negative influence Simon had in Judas’ life? I wonder.

Building a Godly Legacy through a husband’s leadership – Part 3

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Many dads have experienced heightened emotions–okay, terror–on handing their car keys to their son for the first time. The combination of the son’s driving ability, attitude, and level of responsibility all might proportionally affect Dad’s emotions. Dad is giving his son the authority to drive the family vehicle, registered in Dad’s name, and hereby Dad might have over-the-top liability should something go very wrong.

God established authority structures on earth and in marriage has given husbands the higher authority as exemplified in Ephesians 5:22-24 and 6:4. Husbands and wives are a team, but Dad leads the team because God has placed him in that role. Therefore, we will answer to God for what we did with the authority He entrusted to us.

Cars and dollars are temporal and will burn one day. However, our children have eternal souls. We will be held accountable for what we have poured into their lives. 

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Ephesians 5:22-24).

Building a Godly legacy- Children that will love the Lord Part 2

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I have a young grandson whose favorite discussion topics are photos and cutting down trees. All-day, every day, he will gladly talk about those subjects. Frankly, that is the way people are. They want to talk about what excites them. 

We are to desire (read commanded) to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and might. How much we talk about the Lord with our family reflects our actual relationship with Him.

“… shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:7). 

(Sadly, what excites many men is sinful and can’t be talked about in the family, and therefore must be suppressed.)

I challenge you to observe families. You will see that children love what Dad loves, not just what he says he loves, but what dad genuinely loves. What delights Dad’s heart? It might be fun, food or football, movies, or money. Whatever Dad loves is where you will find the children’s hearts. 

I plead with you. Don’t settle for the children merely praying a little prayer to receive Jesus. (Brothers, that is true for us also.) Do they have a sincere relationship with Him? Cultivate and look for fruit. 

“Praise ye the Lord. Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord, that delighteth greatly in his commandments. 2 His seed shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed” (Psalm 112 1-2).

Grandma’s Lessons: Back to the Basics, Part Two

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The Schedule

Being many years beyond life with little children, it is easy for me to lose sight of the key factors that contribute to a peaceful and productive home life. Now that we are daily spending hours helping Christopher with his five young children so he can work and be daddy while his wife is having chemo treatments 2,000 miles away, we are once again aware of those components.

Last month we evaluated the benefits of a bedtime and wake up time for Mom that allows her to get the sleep she needs to function well all day, plus have time with the Lord and exercise in the morning. Those pieces are the beginning of a peaceful and productive family. 

What do you know you need to accomplish each day and what are the weak areas concerning that? I believe if you were to write those down, then pray and think, you could come up with a schedule to solve those problems.

For example, homeschool moms must do school. If they schedule school time, they make steady progress on their school work, likely finishing by the end of the year when they want to finish. However, haphazard, hit and miss school is a frustration. The end result is that schoolwork falls behind and Mom feels guilty. 

Perhaps you long for quiet time to do work at your computer. That could happen if you scheduled it and scheduled the children to do activities that don’t require your attention. That might mean preschoolers and babies are napping while older children are doing independent school work. 

Speaking of computer time, one key to a successful schedule is stopping when the schedule says to stop. Computer time has a way of engulfing the next scheduled activities so quit at the time you have scheduled. If you don’t, whatever you have scheduled next doesn’t happen, and that presents a whole new set of problems.

That same scheduling principle applies to whatever your priorities are—put them on the schedule. Start with the needs and after they are filled in on the schedule, then add wants.

Make It a Habit

When you have a schedule up and running, it becomes habit. Habit makes life simple. You aren’t in perpetual decision-making mode as to what to do and when to do it. You don’t have to keep chasing after your children to round them up for what they need to do. (Although when you start a schedule there will be a training phase for everyone involved.)

The Results

My heart’s desire is to see young moms enjoying this season of their lives. More often, though, they seem run-ragged, frustrated, and burned out. I wonder if they have tried making and using a schedule. The schedule is a powerful tool for time efficiency and productivity and from that flows energy, contentment, a peaceful heart. 

When I recently wrote on scheduling I had a response I think will encourage you and motivate you with scheduling:


As an old home-educating mom with much hindsight, I would like to add another benefit of scheduling—joyful anticipation—based on wonderful results of homeschool scheduling. Florida homeschool laws required us to turn in annual assessments of our children (to show progress, measured by wonderful licensed teachers) and I anticipated, planned, and prayed for wonderful growth and success. And successful, calm, and happy we were. It’s FUN to schedule, anticipate, and accomplish great homeschool goals! It is like achieving any huge goal—a college degree, new home, a huge family celebration—only its happier and better because it’s your children. What an accomplishment. What a blessing. And it’s renewable with each and every homeschool day well done.

Now is the time to start. It isn’t hard. If you need help, Managers of Their Homes is a solid, proven, down-to-earth resource.