Monthly Archives: September 2015

Well, Um…

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Recently, at a week-long conference I was attending, I spoke to a young pastor who totally shocked me. As we begin talking, the conversation flowed smoothly. I would ask him a question, and he would respond, elaborate, and then ask something about me. We were having a fantastic time getting to know each other. It was a joy. I came away from that time energized and excited.

I had many other conversations that week as I attempted to get to know other men at the conference. The contrast was shocking. Though all the men I spoke with were in Christian service, this young pastor was the only one I talked to who had such conversation skills. Notice I didn’t say “gifting.”conversation

Think about how necessary conversation skills are in life. Whether in ministry, business, or family relationships, we need to be able to communicate effectively. The more I talk with Christian parents, the more I am convinced of the golden opportunity that awaits you in helping your children learn conversation skills. If you want your children to excel in life, they need to have great conversational skills. It is a learned skill that will benefit everyone’s lives greatly. Dad, that includes you, too. Why not make it a family project?

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11)

Steve

Keeping Score

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Some keep score of hurts.
Some keep score of dollars.
Some keep score of favors granted.
God keeps score of every idle word.

Am I gracious and kind with others, especially my wife and children? It takes so little to cause a deep hurt. May I build them up, not tear them down.

“But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37)

Steve

Highly Damaging Words

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I have to wonder if some of the most damaging words to homeschooling and children’s futures I’ve ever heard are, “If the children aren’t having fun learning, they will grow up without a love of learning.” That is used as justification for requiring that learning must be fun. Sadly, might the two most common results of so-called “fun learning” be: wearing Mom out and the children’s not be willing to learn unless it is fun.

I plead with you dads for the sake of your children’s future not to buy into this “learning must be fun” mistruth. If learning has to be fun, what does that mean about learning Scripture? Do we only read Scripture because it is fun and not read it because it isn’t fun? Since Scripture isn’t fun to read, could that mean children raised this way will have no desire to read the Bible as they get older?

We exercise because of the health benefits, and we learn because of the value of learning. We apply ourselves. We learn to enjoy our “brain sweating” and loving the feeling of accomplishment as we learn and grow not because it is “fun.”PS down

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15)

Steve

A Critic’s Silver Bullet

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Does your family eat three meals a day? Is that being disciplined or legalistic? Do you bathe regularly? Is that being disciplined or legalistic? Do you try to get a set amount of sleep every night? Is that being disciplined or legalistic? Do you have an exercise routine? Is that being disciplined or legalistic? Do you have your personal and family Bible time every day? Is that being disciplined or legalistic?

Isn’t it amazing how people might consider most of the practices listed above very admirable for a normal, healthy life, until they get to personal and family Bible time every day. Most people cater to their flesh (not to be confused with taking good care of their bodies, for obesity is out of control in our country). Think about your spirit, however. Shouldn’t we take far better care of an eternal spirit than a body that typically lasts fewer than 100 years? Do we?

“… It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4)

Steve

Business Jump Start will be offered only this once if that is of interest to you.

Hope you can make one of the two upcoming conferences.

You Have Them!

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Everyone has them.
Moses had them.
David had them.
Jeremiah had them.
Jesus had them.
The apostles had them.
We will all have them.

Everyone will have critics (of the destructive rather than the constructive variety), regardless whether you are worldly or conservative. Sure, some will be louder than others, but the venom is always poisonous. Their purpose is not to build up but to tear down. Today, there are so many self-professed experts on everyone else’s business. They might not be able to make a living or raise commendable children, but they sure are quick to tell everyone else what to do.

Would you believe they can be a blessing? One way you can tell you are on the right track is by who dislikes and criticizes you. It is a scary thing when the wrong people like you.

“Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” (Matthew 5:10-12)

Steve

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A Schedule Can Help with Depression

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I struggled with depression on and off for about twelve years. Many of you who regularly read the Mom’s Corners have seen me talk about those battles before.

Those were difficult and dark days, not only for me but also for my family. In a previous Mom’s Corner I shared about that battle and several of the things the Lord used to help pull me out of depression. In this Mom’s Corner, I want to focus on a specific tool that helped me navigate life in the midst of depression and care for the needs of a young and growing family.

When the Lord called our family to homeschool and then began giving us more children, my ability to keep up with the childcare responsibilities, housework, cooking, laundry, plus homeschooling, failed. Falling behind with those tasks caused stress, worry, guilt, and a host of other negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and impatience.

Time Management Tool

When I asked the Lord for help, He began to teach me to schedule. “I cried unto the LORD with my voice; with my voice unto the LORD did I make my supplication” (Psalm 142:1). Since I had a home to run, which had many similarities to a small business, I needed time management skills to do so. Back then, I didn’t have time to read books on time management, nor would I probably have found any that dealt with time management for a stay-at-home mom who was homeschooling. However, I am excited to find that what the Lord taught me years ago about time management in a home is exactly what time-management experts recommend in the business world today. Time management is powerful in business, and it was powerful for me with the specific needs I had as a stay-at-home mom with children to care for and educate.

I started putting together a daily schedule to help direct my time usage, and also the children’s. I used a paper and notebook. There was much erasing and rewriting, but it gave me a basis for my day. (Now we have a scheduling kit that comes with Managers of Their Homes, and also ScheduleBreeze, which is an add-on scheduling software for Managers of Their Homes users. )

The Schedule Makes Decisions

While scheduling has been beneficial in a multitude of ways in our home through the years, I want to deal specifically with how it impacted me during my depression. A depressed person doesn’t make decisions well, nor are they motivated to do much of anything. Because of my love for my husband and children, I had a desire to care for their needs. Having a schedule gave me direction for how to use my time. I didn’t have to make decisions; they were already made for me. I had direction through the schedule. When the mind is tracking things that need to be done and decisions that need to be made, it is an extra weight.

I remember back then listening to Elisabeth Elliot’s radio program for Christian women, called “Gateway to Joy.” She would say, “Just do the next thing,” to encourage women to keep up with daily tasks. My schedule told me what my “next thing” was when, in my depression, I could not figure it out.

A Schedule Gives Sense of Accomplishment

That schedule also allowed me to have a feeling of accomplishment at the end of each day, rather than being saddled with a burden of all that was left undone. As a depressed woman, consider what sitting and doing nothing—which is typical in depression—would have done to deepen that depression, versus the positive aspects of caring for my family and keeping up with the home management plus homeschooling. I know that this was a vital part of helping me through and out of the depression, whereas without the schedule, I would have spiraled deeper and further into it.

Moms write me who are living with depression, and they often say that their homes are out of control. They also tell me that they aren’t spending any time with Jesus. Of course, they share the deepness of their misery, and I more than understand their feelings. Putting together and using a schedule brings structure back to their lives. I’ve seen countless times how depressed moms are encouraged when they follow their schedule. It does for them what it did for me.

A Schedule Renews a Depressed Mind

The most important part of a schedule is to plan daily time to spend in Bible reading and prayer. “O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is” (Psalm 63:1). There is nothing a depressed mom needs more than to be spiritually nourished. God’s Word will give her the help she needs for many of her emotional struggles, just like it did for me. For example, when she reads this,  “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice” (Philippians 4:4), she probably thinks, “But, Lord, I don’t feel like rejoicing. I just feel sad and unhappy.”

She might also read, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Hopefully, she will then decide to choose to rejoice rather than letting her feelings rule her. Victory begins to come to her, step by step, just as it did for me.

A Schedule Helps Many Moms

I honestly believe that a schedule helps not only a depressed mom, but also most other stay-at-home moms. All the benefits the depressed mom realizes with her schedule are ones that other moms will experience as well. Perhaps that schedule will keep the mom who isn’t depressed from becoming depressed. The schedule certainly brings peace and productivity to days that can be chaotic and stressful. There is a wealth of information in Managers of Their Homes that allows me to come alongside you as you learn about scheduling and implement a schedule for your time.