It amazes me that the cry of today seems to be: not my fault, he did it, that wasn’t fair, injustice, no one taught me, no one warned me, the government should have, and the list goes on. How freeing of responsibility when the problem isn’t my fault.

If you are a parent you have heard it all, but it doesn’t seem to solve any problems, does it? Somehow it does make the proclaimer feel better. If it is someone else’s fault than the child can’t be held responsible for his actions, right? The mantra of today is as old as creation. “And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat” (Genesis 3:12).

What’s the answer? First, we examine ourselves. Do we make excuses? Is that the example we set for the family? If that is your problem, you, with the Lord’s help, resolve it starting now.

Then work with your children. Define the problem to your children. Explain why it isn’t good and why it is important that we take personal responsibility for our actions and words. This is critical because we read, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5:10). 

Clear ownership for our actions is the standard. Help your children understand what that looks like in daily life. Then be sure you affirm them when they follow the standard rather than dishing out the consequences that come with ownership of the problem for a set period of time.