Tag Archives: Time for Mom

What About Me? – Part 5

It seemed a fitting conclusion to the Mom’s Corner series “What About Me?” would be to let you read a story from a mom who personally experienced both sides of the question we have been considering. If you haven’t read the other articles, please do so. This story was sent to me in response to one of the earlier “What About Me?” articles in this series. To understand the whole heart and intention of what this mom is sharing, it is important that you read those previous Corners as well.

Story from a Homeschool Mom:
I wanted to tell you a little story along the lines of that to which you have been referring in the Mom’s Corners–the worldly advice we get.

Several years ago, I had an e-mail conversation with one of my sisters-in-law. I was telling her something about what our family was up to–not complaining, just telling her my projects, the children’s stuff, and whatever home improvement project hubby was up to. I didn’t think anything unusual about what I “had on my plate.” Shortly thereafter, my sister-in-law e-mailed back with sympathy for my busy life and immediately dispensed her amateur psychological advice that I should really take time out for myself. As she said, “You need some me-time.”

I will admit that after her “words of wisdom” sank in for a day or so, I caught myself thinking about what she’d said and wondering: was she right? After all, she wasn’t the first one to tell me that I was one hard-working mama. Maybe I did “deserve” to have some time off from my rigorous lifestyle! I fondly remembered the days when I had “lots” of time to work on MY projects, when running an errand was a simple thing (no car seats and dawdling around for little legs to keep up), when mealtime didn’t involve coercion (“because xyz is good for you!”); when buying a candy bar at the checkout did not incite a riot, and I never gave a thought to its non-nutritious value! Oh, and the quiet evenings!

I got pulled into her philosophy. Why, I let myself get into a rather grumpy mental huff for a few days, and started wondering where I could go to do as my sister-in-law suggested and “get away” for some me-time. But wait! Get away? Why does the “world” think we simply MUST “get away” (go somewhere) in order to feel happy or feel rejuvenated? Why can’t we see that we can “get away” from the world in our own homes? Or that “getting away” can be completely UNnecessary when we see our families, their neediness of us (moms and wives), and our homes as a BLESSING!!! I’d never had a major “need” to get away from it all until my sister-in-law suggested I deserved some me-time.

I remember thinking, as you outlined in your very excellent newsletter, that there is NOTHING in Scripture that encourages us to desire to be selfish. On the other hand, there are EXCELLENT passages reminding us that whatever we do, we are to do it ALL to the glory of God. To tie this up, I’ll tell you: when you realize the BLESSING your family is–straight from God–you don’t get the feeling that you need some time to get away from them. A Homeschool Mom

In this “What About Me?” series, my heart has been to encourage moms who are pouring out their lives into their families. These moms have a calling with eternal purpose and benefits–loving and serving their husbands and children. Our families are the greatest blessings the Lord could possibly give to us. We, in turn, are blessed as we give our lives back to them. In the midst of the sometimes busyness and “dailyness” of life, though, moms can face discouragement, especially if they begin looking at themselves and wondering when they get to let go of responsibility and have some fun.

There are two main points I would like to make clear once again as we conclude this series. First, the problem is not “fun” itself, but rather a focus on it. When I begin to think that I “have to have” time for my own pursuits or that I “need” to get away for time alone, then I am likely to experience self-pity when I don’t get that fun or individual time. Jesus said I am to die to self, not fuel it. I am not saying that we will never have time for relaxation or ever be able to pursue something of personal interest to us, because we will. However, when that becomes my purpose in life and my daily goal, I am frustrated and unhappy.

The Lord Jesus knows the needs of my life even better than I know them myself. He graciously brings into my life what will meet those needs so that I don’t have to be focused on them or contriving how to get them met myself. For example, two summers ago, our adult daughter wanted to visit friends in Alaska. Because of the long flight, she asked for a family member to travel with her. After a family conference, I was the one chosen to accompany her. During our stay in Alaska, I often had several hours to myself most days–hours of quiet, Bible reading, prayer, and no responsibility. What a contrast from my normal life! I missed my family, but I relished every moment of this rest the Lord had given to me–a rest that came from Him, not one that I had demanded.

I don’t want to make any mom feel guilty for doing something she enjoys or having occasional times away from her children. That isn’t the heart cry of this series. The Lord can and does provide special pleasures in our lives that are exactly what we like to do and also what we would need. He gives them to us, and we can delight in them. I want, though, for my thoughts to be resting on His ability to take care of me rather than having a mindset that I deserve a particular amount of free time and fun or that I can’t function properly without it. With thoughts of self, I quickly become bitter and angry because what I think I need so often doesn’t happen.

The second point I would like to restate has to do with what I consider to be relaxing and enjoyable–what I do for “me time” when it is available. As I view my family to be a special blessing from the Lord, then more and more my desire is to be with them rather than away from them. I prefer to do something with a child or my husband rather than to do something by myself or with a friend. We use outings as times to be with our children. “Me” time becomes family time, by choice.

It is my prayer that as mothers we will be continually looking to our Lord Jesus Christ for the strength to sustain us through the tasks He has set before us each day. Rather than looking at our daily responsibilities as something to get through so we can move on to what we really want to do, may we delight in our mothering, schooling, and homemaking jobs. May we be content mothers with our thoughts on how we can be obedient to our Lord Jesus through loving and serving our families.

What About Me? – Part 4

For the past three Mom’s Corners, we have been looking at the focus of a mother’s heart and investigating the question “What about me?” If you haven’t read these Mom’s Corners, please do so. These articles have generated some responses via e-mail that related personal experiences, had other thoughts, or shared Scripture which encouraged my heart. I asked several of these moms if I could pass their words on to you in the hope that they will be a blessing in your life as well. Please be sure to read the three articles that these notes refer to in order to fully understand the context from which they are sharing.

“If God has ordained us for this servanthood, surely He will provide the strength, ability, and rewards in so doing. Sounds like our whole life–not only six days of the week–belongs to service to Him! Thanks for your encouragement.” Mom A

“If I knew you, I would give you a huge hug. The words in your newsletter this month are so much truth that they hit the heart and convict the soul that knows Jesus. I am a truly blessed homeschool mom with an incredibly supportive hubby and two beautiful daughters, ages 9 and 10.

“I’m currently teaching a ladies’ Bible study on Titus and had a very, very similar experience just last night at church. A few women were going away for the weekend and asked me along. One in particular stressed how important it would be for that ‘me’ time. I graciously refused the need for anymore ‘me’ and praised the Lord for what I have been studying in Titus. I also praised Him for seeing the need and leading our women to this particular part of Scripture at this moment in time.

“Tears flowed late last night as I felt two things . . . sorrow for their deception . . . and joy for the blessing of being allowed a part in these women’s lives. This advice, so worldly, has crept into Christian circles in a huge way. I’m not sure I’m making total sense, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for sticking to the truth and not perpetuating the lie that we need more ‘me’ time.

“Long ago personal experience taught me that if your motives are purely selfish, there is NEVER enough ‘me’ time, and when you come home, your frustration is larger, not smaller. It’s like drinking to forget your worries. Obviously, when you wake up, the problems are still there, AND you’re probably late on a payment!” Mom B

“Being a wife and mother is often hard work, and glorifying God quite often involves doing our very mundane and hard duties.” Mom C

“I came across a gem of a verse this morning in my alone time that will help me through trying times. I thought I’d share it with you. ‘My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever’ (Psalm 73:26).

“King David went through so much in his life–so much trouble and tragedy–but he found solace and strength in time alone with his God. So can we.

“And the Lord Jesus Himself, what about Him? Did He worry about His ‘free time’? He was spent over and over physically and ultimately on the cross. He was renewed by getting away from people to spend time with His Father.” Mom D

“Your articles really spoke to me. This has been a message that has taken me a long time to begin to grasp. I became a believer in Jesus Christ at 33, married at 34, and stayed at home with my children in my late 30’s. Needless to say I have had a lot of worldly ways to leave behind. But God is gracious and has sharpened me and changed me gently and sometimes, not so gently.

“This area of personal ‘needs’ is not a popular topic to address but is so very needed for mothers in our generation. I first became aware of this in learning that I must die to myself so that Christ may live wholly and freely in me. It is a continuing struggle for me as I try to be obedient to my Lord and Savior and die daily, moment by moment, to my flesh.

“Many Christian publications do not address this and continue to mislead us by trying to put a Christian face onto the message of the popular culture. I find that when ‘I want time for me,’ I am often sorely lacking in my time with Him. As you know, when our eyes are on ourselves, they can’t be on our Lord. When I am abiding in Him, my deep needs are truly met in sweet communion with Him. I look forward to the continuing series and your ministry to get His Word out to moms who struggle in this area. It is an important, unfortunately unpopular, viewpoint that we all need to hear and take to heart.” Mom E

“I agree that we should work hard, but many moms are working as if it all depended on them–as if the Lord was not there. These verses address that. ‘Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate’ (Psalm 127:1-5).” Mom F

“Thank you for consistently bringing us to the Lord!! I am like everyone else–ready to pity myself and not as eager to hear this but excited inside when I read it and think those thoughts. We are to run the race without being weary of doing good. However, we can’t do this with out Him and seeking Him daily.” Mom G

“Your article prompted me to again read Proverbs 31. The Proverbs 31 woman is praised for her hard work and self-sacrifice. The only verse dealing with her personally is 22, which reads, ‘She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.’ Even this is a benefit to others–her husband and children especially–for they are not ashamed of their wife’s/mom’s appearance.

“Thank you for pointing out that I can go from house to house while sitting in front of my computer. (Gulp–and the phone too, I guess?)” Mom H

As Christian mothers, we are called to obediently surrender to His direction for our lives. This direction will involve busy days spent serving our families. I pray that each of us may embrace this task with joy rather than focusing on ourselves. It is my hope that by hearing from the hearts of other moms who are learning to let go of their expectations concerning “me” time, you may be encouraged.

What About Me? – Part 3

When others find out that I am a homeschooling mom, one of their first questions will be, “When do you get time for yourself?” As I have reflected on my answer, I realize how prone I am to accepting their judgments that my life is not fulfilled unless I have personal time to do what I want to do. It is easy to buy into the “what about me?” mentality because it is most certainly the bent of my flesh. Because of this, it has been necessary for me to go to Jesus with questions about my time, my focus, my energy, my expectations, and my needs. In this series of Mom’s Corners on hard work, I am sharing with you what the Lord has put on my heart concerning these issues.

“Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work” (1 Timothy 5:9-10). This sounds to me like a busy woman—one who has worked hard all of her life as she obediently followed Christ. There is no mention of anything she did for herself but only what she did in service to others that qualifies her for care from the church in widowhood. We see a picture of a woman, with her heart fully focused on the Lord, who spends her time in serving others.

Use of our time such as 1 Timothy 5:9-10 describes is of eternal value. This investment of our energy is where we are to find joy and fulfillment rather than in a quest for personal time, fun, or entertainment.

“But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some are already turned aside after Satan” (1 Timothy 5:11-15).

In these verses, I believe we see the possible results of a self-focus in our lives as women: idleness, tattlers, and busybodies. Perhaps today we have a tendency to wander more from house to house via computers, but the idea still applies. These qualities are not held in esteem in these verses, but rather they are presenting a condemnation of this kind of selfishness and its outcome.

The direction, then, to keep from this kind of sin is to marry, bear children, and guide the house. In other words, the young widow is to be productive with her time in her own home. It sounds much like being a busy homeschool mom to me. Raising children and keeping house are encouraged as fruitful activities that cause Satan not to be able to speak reproachfully of us. My first priority is to be my family and my home. It is not to be getting time for my entertainment, hobbies, or fun.

My heart cry in these Mom’s Corners is to encourage each of us that the busyness of our lives, if it is spent in service to our family, is a good thing. It is what Jesus is calling us to do. If we are feeling overwhelmed, it may mean we need to go to the Lord and to our husbands to reevaluate priorities. Titus 2:4-5 makes it clear that our service begins in our homes, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5). Too often, moms struggle not because of their daily work and homeschooling, but because of other responsibilities they have taken upon themselves.

Rather than the feelings and disappointment that go with not having quantities of leisure time, I would like to suggest that we embrace the workload we have with diligence, determination, and joy. We are told that everything we do we are to do as unto the Lord. “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men” (Colossians 3:23). It is hard for me to justify time spent in personal pursuits as being done unto the Lord if there is still serving of my family to be done.

Again, I want to emphasize that I am not saying we will never be able to spend time doing what we would choose to do, that we will never be able to relax, or that we should ruin our health by continual overworking. Instead, I am encouraging an acceptance of the workload we have been given with a focus on Jesus and on serving. In the midst of this, the Lord will give opportunities for what we like to do, and He will bring physical rest. He gives rest to our souls when our hearts are turned to Him rather than to ourselves. When my focus is on me, there is never enough ease or entertainment. I think if we want contentment in the calling God has given to us, we must receive the work before us and look away from “what about me?”

The question looms before me as it is regularly repeated from well-meaning friends: “When do you get time for yourself?” My response depends on the focus of my heart. I can begrudge what Jesus has called me to do. I can resent the gobbling of time that homeschooling my children takes. I can resist the workload of my homemaking tasks. I can be disappointed if I don’t get time for my own fun or pleasures. On the other hand, I can be filled with delight that I am able to homeschool. I can view each minute I have with my children as an opportunity to turn their hearts to Jesus. I can rejoice over every act of service I am able to offer my husband and my children. I can say, “Lord, my time is Your time. Use it as You will,” trusting Him fully with my life.

What About Me? – Part 2

Last month we began looking into what Scripture tells us about our workload, and attitude toward it, as mothers and particularly as homeschooling moms. Around us, we are often bombarded with a philosophy that says: Take care of yourself, make time for yourself, you deserve a break, don’t push too hard. Homeschooling moms find their lives filled to the brim, allowing little, if any, time left over for their personal interests or pursuits. This creates a conflict. We are told to take it easy, and yet there is so much to do. Is something wrong? What should our expectations of this be?

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). In evaluating these verses, we see that Jesus tells us He will give us rest. He then goes on to define what this rest is: a rest for our souls. We find here that Jesus says His yoke is easy, and His burden is light, but it is still a yoke and a burden. The words “yoke” and “burden” imply work and effort. These verses don’t appear to be saying that we won’t have to do anything, but rather that the Lord Jesus is doing it with us. He is the One strengthening us for the task. He wants us yoked to Him for the work He has set before us. We aren’t to rely on ourselves to meet the demands placed upon us, but rather we are to depend on His resources. I believe that it is the rest of the soul—looking to Jesus—that makes the yoke easy and the burden light in the midst of the work.

“But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and sit down to meat? And will not rather say unto him, Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken; and afterward thou shalt eat and drink? thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I trow not. So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do” (Luke 17:7-10).

This story speaks volumes to my heart concerning my expectations about my personal workload. In these verses, I don’t see the master commending his servant and offering him a quiet evening with a warm bath and a refreshing drink for his diligent work all day. The world’s philosophy of work seems to be quite the opposite of what this example shows. From the world, I hear statements like, “You have worked hard; now you deserve to take a break. Take time for yourself. It’s your reward.”

In these verses from Luke 17, I feel the Lord showing me that He values service and obedience in my life. He wants my all. He is concerned about my heart completely following Him—no matter how much work is involved. I am only an “unprofitable servant” doing my duty in obedience to my Master, Jesus Christ. My reward comes from Him in the form of the fruit of the Spirit, a rest of soul, my relationship with Him and with my family, rather than in the form of amusement. My joy comes from serving my family, my greatest treasure, more than from having fun.

Again, please don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying we won’t ever be able to rest from our labor. The Lord knows our needs, and He provides rest for us. It is likely He will give each person rest in different ways at different times. I encourage you to look for and be grateful for the rest the Lord has supplied in your days. For example, in my life one time of rest is our family Bible time. We spend about an hour in the Word every night. As we sit, while reading and discussing the Word, my spiritual soul is fed while my physical body rests.

Another example of rest comes from God resting on the seventh day after six days of creation. Then He told the Israelites to observe a Sabbath day each week, a day of worship and rest. Even at that, though, the Sabbath was not a day for a person to please himself. “If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words: Then shalt thou delight thyself in the LORD; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it” (Isaiah 58:13-14). Our family has a weekly day of worship and rest. On that day, my normal work is set aside, meals are simple, and there is no school, cleaning, or laundry done.

I am not telling us that we skip needed sleep to accomplish what the Lord has put in front of us. I deal specifically with sleep in this Mom’s Corner. What I am saying, though, is let’s expect that the Lord will use our obedience to Him to the fullest and that our lives will be filled with self-sacrifice and work. I am saying let’s consider whether our focus is to get through with our work so we can have time to ourselves or to “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:2). I want to find my joy in what He has called me to do rather than directing my thoughts at when I can have fun.

I am also not saying we can’t do anything we enjoy. Instead I am asking that we consider our focus. Is our purpose to make it through the work so we can “play,” or is our purpose to love our families by serving them? My heart’s desire is that what I am doing as a homeschool mom and homemaker is what I enjoy doing the most—that it is what my heart craves doing.

In two places in the New Testament, Paul tells us not to grow weary in what the Lord Jesus has called us to do. “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9). “But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing” (2 Thessalonians 3:13). Do you think that in these verses Paul is telling his readers to stop their “well doing”? No, I believe he is encouraging them to continue even though what they are doing can cause weariness and a desire to “faint,” or, in other words, quit. It appears to me, from these verses, that weariness is a choice on my part. It doesn’t have to do with my activities or lack of them, as long as the Lord has directed me to do them, but rather it relates to my thoughts about myself and what I am doing. I can choose to be weary and faint by thinking about me and a quest for my time. I can choose not to be weary and not to faint by thinking about the reason I work, the recipients of my work, the outcome of my work, and the One Who called me to work. I reap what I sow—weariness or joy.

“Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily” (Colossians 1:29). Scripture has many verses that indicate a believer’s life is filled with work. This is one example. With the kind of labor and striving pictured here, I envision the verses in Matthew 11 about the yoke. When I am yoked with Christ, He is working in me and with me. It is not a labor and striving unto weariness, but rather it is one of might and victory.

As homeschooling moms, our days are filled with the duties of being a keeper at home plus teaching our children. I have to make a decision: do I want to serve myself, or do I want to serve Jesus by serving my family? When I serve myself, I grapple for free time and relaxation. When I serve Jesus, I commit to doing what He has called me to do, focusing on rest for my soul through my relationship with Him, but receiving rest for my body when He brings it to me. I believe as we view our mothering roles as being ones that involve work and have the right attitudes toward this, we will be happy. “Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them” (John 13:13-17).

What About Me? – Part 1

Here is a portion of an e-mail I recently received:

“I am a homeschooling mother (31) of five children (ages 13 years, 12 years, 10 years, 6 years, and 21 months) and a pastor’s wife. I can never sit down at the end of the day, have an accomplished feeling, and say ’My job is done for the day.’ I feel so burdened and pulled from so many directions. My house is pretty organized. My children have chores. They are very good kids, and we have many compliments on them. People seem to just adore our family, yet I feel so?!? I do love my family and would not trade it for the world. It just seems so hard keeping up all the time. When I turn my attention toward one thing, another is lacking; children, husband, housework, church, ladies meetings . . . How about just relaxing or fun??? What’s that? It’s like there is not enough of me to get it all done. I am not a lazy person. I work too hard, wear down, and get frustrated. It’s like a cycle.” A tired homeschool mom (used by permission)

This is a typical e-mail for me to find in my inbox. It forthrightly and honestly speaks of the reality of a homeschooling lifestyle. I can personally relate to this mom’s thoughts and feelings because I have had to deal with them myself. Because of these struggles, I have taken my questions to the Lord to seek His truth. I wanted to understand what He says about this rather than what others—even homeschool moms—might say.

Through my over twenty years of homeschooling, I find a propensity within homeschool circles, when faced with the issues this mom raises, to give advice along the lines of: slow down, find an easier curriculum, do less school, go easy on yourself, don’t expect too much of yourself or the children, take a break, and get housekeeping help. Any of these might be the solution to this mom’s problems. However, I have discovered a difficult, but exciting, truth in my study of Scripture as it relates to being a homeschool mom. This Scriptural direction does not endorse the same counsel that we tend to like to give each other; I, too, am quite prone to want to give encouragement in the direction of easing up. Instead, the Word takes a consistently strong stand on what I have come to see is, plainly and simply, hard work.

During my Bible reading time, I went through the New Testament with an eye for verses that applied to what our expectations as homeschooling moms should be considering the workload we face. How much work should we have to do? Can I expect to have personal time to do what I want to do? What about taking care of me? What does Scripture have to say that would apply to these types of questions?

As I made my study, I looked for verses that indicated I was entitled to fun, entertainment, relaxation, or some kind of focus on me. I wouldn’t have minded finding some Biblical admonition for this propensity of my flesh. I have to admit I was disappointed, but not surprised, not to be able to discover any verses that applied. I found many verses that had to do with being a servant, dying to self, and taking up my cross. However, I didn’t find one verse that mentioned or even alluded to fun, entertainment, or relaxation.

Verses I felt applied to having time for myself were ones that dealt with spiritual growth, such as, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). Or, “But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever” (2 Peter 3:18). From these kinds of verses I could glean the importance of having time set aside in my day to spend with the Lord, reading the Word, praying, and memorizing Scripture. This wasn’t specifically stated, but rather it was implied because of the outcome to be gained. Time for Teri was to be spent allowing the Lord Jesus to spiritually teach, grow, and nurture me. I couldn’t find where it was to be selfishly spent doing what I wanted to do.

I am not saying that as homeschool moms we can never do something we enjoy for ourselves or that we can never relax. What I am trying to convey is that in Scripture we find a different picture than the world gives us of our role as mothers and our workload. The world’s view of work, almost any kind of work, is that it is to be accomplished as quickly as possible so that we are free to pursue our personal pleasures. That kind of pleasure is all the world has for which to live. When my expectations become set on having to have time for my own entertainment, I find myself grappling for what doesn’t satisfy and disappointed in the process. My focus becomes myself, easily filled with self-pity in what I might be missing and dissatisfaction with what I am accomplishing, much like the e-mail you just read in the beginning of this Mom’s Corner.

The Lord Jesus is telling me through His Word that my focus is not to be on how to get time for fun. Instead it is to be on Himself. John 15 tells me that I am to abide in Him, and He in me. When my thoughts are on Him, then my heart wants to be obedient more than it wants to serve self and be free of its workload. In the midst of that obedience comes the hard work associated with serving others, giving of my time and energy, and actually dying to self. However, with that sacrifice come the joy and contentment Paul talks about in Philippians 4.

In the next months, I want to continue looking into the workload of a homeschooling mom and our expectations. I plan to share particular verses that helped me deal with my thoughts and attitudes about this. May we each be a mom who chooses to obediently follow Jesus Christ, having a servant’s heart, without listening to the lies of the world.

Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit has been an encouragement to many moms (even non homeschoolers) as they seek to have the spirit that God desires us to exhibit. I share from many years of experience and what the Lord has taught me and is continuing to teach me. An accompanying study guide is also available. Quite a few ladies are using the book and guide as a group study.

Finding Quiet Time for the Lord

Last month in the Mom’s Corner, I shared with you a key to the treasure of spending time on the priorities the Lord has given each of us. This month I want to give you the key to our success in life as a woman, wife, mother, home teacher, neighbor, and Christian. This key comes from the key we talked about in September, but is of vastly greater value. Despite its importance, this key is often not used because there is not time; other needs seem more pressing. This, though, signals an even greater urgency to use the key.

What is the key I am referring to? It is “time alone with Jesus Christ.” There is a reason this key comes from last month’s key. For us to have time alone with the Lord, we are going to find we must plan that time into our day. If we choose to take it during a free, quiet moment whenever we can, we will probably come to the end of the day and realize it has not happened. We will decide to try again tomorrow. The cycle will be repeated the next day and the next day.

We are foolish women if we think we can get through our days the way the Lord wants us to in our own energy and strength. Where does our dependence on the Lord come from? Where do we get our daily manna? Isn’t it from our private time alone in the Word, in prayer, in memorizing Scripture, and meditating on it? I know how absolutely crucial this time is to me. Is my life busy and full? Could I spend this time doing something else? Absolutely! Is there anything else I could use this time for that would produce more lasting or greater benefits for my family or me? NO!

How, practically speaking, do you find time for quiet moments with the Lord in the midst of all the responsibilities and demands of a homeschooling mom? You pray, look at your day, and are creative. You make your quiet time a planned part of your day and remain faithful to it.

Does it have to be early in the morning? No, but I believe that is the best time. You start your day with your focus on the Lord, your heart seeking Him. If you have little children it is easier to not have disturbances if your quiet time is while they are still sleeping. Will it be hard to get up earlier? Probably. However, why make up your mind that you are too tired to get up and fear it rather than try it?

For years, I felt I needed eight hours of sleep to function well. I also struggled regularly with long sleepless nights. About a year ago I changed to seven hours of sleep at night with a short rest in the afternoon. It has been wonderful. I sleep great at night. Had you told me two years ago that I would have to survive on seven hours of sleep a day, I would have been sure I could never make it.

There have been times when early morning devotions did not work out for me. Did that mean I stopped having devotions? No! I planned time during the little ones’ afternoon naps for that time with the Lord. It was a part of my day just like making dinner was.

Another common feeling about time with the Lord is that you barely get started with fifteen minutes or a half hour, so, why bother? Why not wait until you can find the large amount of time you really want? The reason is that day after day will go by when you never find an hour to spend with the Lord. How much better to consistently, day after day, spend a half hour with the Lord, finding it adds up to three and a half hours a week, than to always look for the hour or two that never appear.

Steve and I go to bed at 10:30 p.m., and the alarm clock goes off at 5:25 a.m. I go in to nurse Mary and then have a half-hour devotion before family morning Bible time at 6:25. I spend ten minutes reading a chapter in the Bible, picking a verse that is meaningful to me, copying it in a notebook, and writing a short prayer concerning it. Then I have the next ten minutes for memorizing Scripture and doing a study on the verse I am working on. The last ten minutes is my prayer time. Could I easily spend more time? Without a doubt! However, I am grateful to spend the time I have and offer it to the Lord for Him to use.

This summer I was battling discouragement over some issues with the children. By early afternoon, I felt like my hands were dragging on the ground. I was so worn out from dealing with these issues! As I was bemoaning my discouragement while sewing one day, the Lord showed me that I needed to spend extra time with Him. My unhappiness with the situations and stewing over them produced no benefit, only negative consequences for my family and me, as I moped around. However, turning those needs to Jesus Christ, the One Who carries our burdens, provides peace and rest through trials, and has direction for working through those difficulties, would produce benefit. I began getting out my spiritual notebook and getting on my knees at 2:00 p.m. each afternoon for another half hour. That extra time with the Lord was like a banquet to a starving person!

Here is a story I think we can all relate to. “Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:38-42).

Our lives as wives, mothers, and home teachers are filled with Martha activities. Let us not give up what Jesus Himself says is better. The foundation for everything you do in and out of your home grows from your relationship with Jesus. Plan that time with Him every day. Be faithful to it. Use the key that will give you the desires of your heart.