Category Archives: Child Training

What Do We Love?

My heart deeply grieves for the dire need for us to be men of God, serious about living for Him Who died for us. Our Savior humbled Himself by leaving the glory of Heaven to come to this world to redeem for Himself a peculiar people. Are we living for Christ or the “gods” of this world? 

I believe we are living in the midst of a modern-day example of the Corinthian church. Paul’s admonition to them is highly appropriate for “us” today. 

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?  And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty” (2 Corinthians 6:14-18).

Brothers, do you love what unbelievers around you love? Are you spending your time on those things? Your children will love those things also. 

Contentment

Contentment – how is it going for you? If you are struggling with it, do you know where to begin? Paul and James are wonderful teachers of contentment, so let’s turn to what they have to say.

“And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

Paul had a “thorn in the flesh.” He asked the Lord three times to be relieved from his difficulty. However, the Lord’s answer was “no.” God had a purpose and was going to use this as a demonstration of His grace and strength in Paul’s life. What was Paul’s response and ultimately his secret to contentment? He chose to take “pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

For me, this kind of response goes against my natural reactions to hard circumstances. What I feel like doing is grumbling, complaining, being irritated and unhappy, feeling sorry for myself, and figuring out my own solution.

James learned the same lessons about contentment. “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing” (James 1:2-4). The word “count” means “to consider, deem, account, think” (Strong’s Greek & Hebrew Dictionary). This is an act of the will. It is a decision I make as to how I will think about my trials. James didn’t tell me to simply accept my trouble, to endure my difficulties, or to grit my teeth until it was past. No, he said to “count is all joy.” JOY! Doesn’t that sound like an impossible reaction to hardship? It is when I am relying on myself, but remember Paul told us when we are weak, Christ is strong.

Our natural reactions put self in the limelight. How does this affect my comfort level? Is this to my liking? Can I see anything positive in it? Scripture tells us that Jesus Christ is to be the center and object of our thoughts and therefore, as always, the focus. When this is true, then we can rest. Resting is the place of faith and trust in a sovereign God. It is acceptance that He knows what is best for our lives. We count it as joy. When we receive trials with this attitude, then we are content. My joy is not in what is happening but rather in my relationship with Jesus Christ.

Seeing that Scripture teaches us that contentment is important and knowing this from personal experience as well, may we seek contentment. May we make the choice to “count it all joy” and to take “pleasures in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Teri Maxwell

No Rx Required

Ahhh, so pleasurable! It is not an opioid but just as addicting and how painful the with-drawl will be. Most are introduced to it as children, and by adolescence they are hooked. It does not have a stigma in our “circles” because it isn’t considered by most to be sinful. Since it isn’t seen as sinful, the appeal is irresistible. So what could be possibly wrong with it? 

Could it be the reason why the American church has not been about the Lord’s business, why many fathers shrink from their responsibility to disciple their children, why children have no interest in being discipled? Based on my observation, it appears to be the “free pass” to do anything that is not overtly sinful. It keeps God’s children from being busy with their hand to the plow, from redeeming their time wisely in serving Christ. Might it be Satan’s most clever deception yet? 

“And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ; Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1:9-11).

Oh my Brothers, even if FUN is neutral and not sinful, it is not excellent and will not bear fruit to God’s glory.

THE POWER OF TIME

August means school starting for most homeschool families. After a slower pace of summer, the thought of adding in school hours can be daunting for the homeschool mom. You might be a mom with all younger children who are not yet school age, but you are drowning in all that you have to do. I know the secret that will make it possible for you to keep up and regain your joyful spirit. You need a schedule for your time and your children’s time.

A schedule forces you to critically evaluate your time and prioritize it. When you put your life into a schedule, it is definable and quantifiable. God gave us each 24 hours in a day, and those are the boundaries with which we work. Your priorities are no longer missed because your day ended. Each one has its rightful place in the schedule. 

A schedule makes what you do on a daily basis habitual. Once a habit is formed, you don’t think about it any more. It just happens. No more trying to keep everything that has to be accomplished in your mind, hoping you don’t forget, and then getting sidetracked by what isn’t a priority at all.

A schedule brings maximum productivity into your home. You don’t waste time doing what doesn’t matter, and you don’t waste time trying to decide what to do next. You are utilizing every moment in the most productive way according to its priority, that you and the Lord have determined. That might mean taking an afternoon nap if you are up with a baby or child in the night. It could be reading out loud to your children or playing games with them because that is important to you.

A schedule frees you from battles with your children to get them to do what they are supposed to do. When you consistently follow the schedule, their days become habitual as well, and they know what to do and when to do it.

A schedule allows you to do activities you didn’t think you had time to do. It makes you so productive that it is likely you will keep up with what you weren’t keeping up with before your schedule and have time for what you had only hoped for in the past.

A schedule improves your health because it assures adequate sleep, exercise, and healthy eating. Bedtime and wake up time are the foundations on which your whole day is built. A schedule defines and stabilizes them. Without enough sleep, you drag through the day, are emotionally short with the children, and put your health at risk. Lack of exercise and poor nutrition have the same effects.

A schedule grows your relationship with Jesus because you daily have time with Him. “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby” (1 Peter 2:2). 

This verse encourages us on physical exercise but even more on our time with the Lord. “For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come” (1 Timothy 4:8).

I lived that discouraged, overwhelmed, there’s-never-enough-time, stressed life. I didn’t like it, and I doubt you do either. I know firsthand the differences and benefits a schedule brings, and I want those for you, your family, and your home. Please don’t excuse the idea away by saying you couldn’t do it or that it isn’t for you. I have seen so many moms move from despair to joy, from frustration to peace, and from stressed to contentment. “Redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16). Are you?

If you need help with scheduling, Managers of Their Homes is your proven tool.

Behold

Consider. Out of legions of angels only two were chosen to roll back the stone from the door of the tomb and have the honor of proclaiming, “He is not here, but is risen,” (Luke 24:6). We are not told their names, but what honor God bestowed on them. 

A mother is the only one given the honor to carry and then birth her child into this world. Dad are you zealous for a similar honor? Sure, you can give life to a child, but in comparison to carrying and birthing, that isn’t much. However, you could be the one who introduces your child to the Savior—ushering him into eternal life. God called/commanded fathers to do that. “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:7). 

Are you faithful to that command of proclaiming the Word of life to your children? Daily Bible time is assumed, but additionally, are you sharing your experience in Christ with them? May the honor be yours. Don’t miss out.

The Wicked Friend

He’s a friend you haven’t seen in years, and you are surprised to encounter him at the gas station. He’s back in town briefly on business. You invite him over for dinner to catch up. 

He arrives, and you are anticipating an enjoyable, relaxing evening. Soon however, he begins sharing about his new passion in life – nature and evolution. He had thought the concept was crazy, but now he is convinced it is true. Your children are with you at the table as he gives lots of interesting information about nature and the world, all from an evolutionary perspective. 

What would you do? Would you allow him to continue filling your children’s minds with the lie of evolution and other facts which he claims support a godless creation? 

What amazes me is how many Christian families do just that. In the name of learning about science and nature, they invite a guest into their home to preach about evolution to their children through TV and documentary nature shows. “He” gains access to the children’s minds in exchange for quietly occupying them. They may learn a few facts about nature, but it is at the high cost of giving “mother nature” the glory that is due to God because of His marvelous creation. 

It could also put the question in a child’s mind: Is evolution true? He realizes that many, maybe even most, believe evolution. Why is it a surprise that young adults are leaving the faith?

“Ye that love the LORD, hate evil” (Psalm 97:10a).

“I am the LORD: that is my name: and my glory will I not give to another, neither my praise to graven images” (Isaiah 42:8).

The God-Directed Summer (No Regrets)

Summer is soon to arrive, and that often means a change of pace for us, especially homeschool moms. This is the time to begin preparing for those summer months if you want to utilize them productively. Homeschool moms often look forward to summer and all they can accomplish that isn’t possible during the school year. However, it is common for them to come to school startup disappointed that their hopes were not fulfilled over the summer. Be purposeful now so that you have the summer you want to have.

Seek the Lord

“A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). How beautiful it is to have thoughts about what you want to do over the summer, submitting them to the Lord for His direction. Perhaps that is well done in the morning hours before the children are up, with a cup of coffee or tea right after your Bible time. No matter when you do it, being quiet before the Lord and asking Him to direct your steps and your children’s for the summer is critical. 

This verse could be key as you begin: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33). Where does the Lord come into your summer plans. How will you and your children seek Him and His righteousness in a planned way? Maybe you will personally take more time for your Bible reading. You could set your preschoolers up for audio Bible time or work with a teen in how to have a meaningful time in the Word. What about a theme verse for the summer to memorize as a family and bring into as many aspects of daily life as possible?

List It

As you prayerfully consider the summer, write things down. Perhaps you are going to do some school. Maybe you want to do organizing and decluttering. Are there cleaning projects to be tackled? What about learning a skill with your children or teaching them one yourself? Summer is a great time to revise chore assignments and teach new ones. What about serving opportunities with your children – making freezer meals to share when they are needed, babysitting for a young mommy, or visiting elderly friends?

Discuss your thoughts and lists with your husband. He might have his own ideas to add, and he could encourage you away from something that you have on your list. Then keep your list before the Lord in prayer.

Plan It

Next what is on your list can be organized and separated into groups leaving spaces between to write or congregating the ones that are related. Pray and ask God to help you with specifics for implementation. What will it take for this particular thing to happen? That’s why I like working on the computer. All the listing, moving ideas around, and adding details to them is easily achieved there. 

Finally, you work on a schedule to give time for what you are going to do. Again, move forward with prayer. You want the power of your God working with you in the achievements of the summer. Without getting what you want to do on the daily schedule, it probably won’t happen or at least not very often. Some things only happen once, like a zoo day. They won’t be on the schedule as such. Those are the days, you actually drop the schedule. 

But most of your days can have a rhythm the schedule directs that is Christ-led because you sought Him for what goes on it and when it should happen.

The Joy

I think as you seek the Lord and His righteousness for your summer, you will have joy in the planning and preparation, joy through your summer days, and joy at the end when you consider the summer behind you. That comes from your being purposeful about your summer. This is the time to do that!

Teri

Flooded

The babysitter’s house flooded due to the heavy rain overnight so the sitter couldn’t watch the mom’s six-month-old while she went to work. So the mom asked the owner of the small business where she worked if she could bring the child to work with her. When Teri and I came to the store, we noticed the adorable little guy lying on a blanket on the floor in her office. In front of the child, a phone was propped up so the child could see lively cartoon characters with the goal of keeping him happy and quiet. My heart was heavy thinking of the lifelong dependency on entertaining media likely ahead for him.   

I have mentioned previously that I meet many young men who are addicted to video games. Let’s assume that the games they are playing are not sinful. The popular attitude these days is that if a game isn’t sinful, then it’s okay. The truth is these individuals are addicted to their video games and live for them. “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any” (1 Corinthians 6:12).

These same young men would not spend their hard-earned money to buy a car that simply sat in their driveway and was not driven. Cars are purchased to be driven. Brother, Jesus Christ purchased us with His precious blood (1 Peter 1:19) so that we could be used by Him to proclaim the good news of the Gospel and serve Him with our lives. “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10).

Please understand, I know media is an easy way to keep children happy. We were TV free until the children caught chicken pox in the late 1980’s. We got one then to keep them happily occupied. What a mistake. It took several years to get the beast out again. I believe iPads, video games, movies and cartoons are far worse today and addicting. “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).

What’s Your Goal?

Do you have goals for raising your children? My brothers, it is important that you have a target to compare all your decisions with. You can then ask yourself: Will the result of this decision keep us on track or take us off course? A target doesn’t guarantee you will arrive “there,” but you most likely won’t if you aren’t focused on the outcome you desire. (That was the primary topic in the session we presented called Building a Vision.) 

Consider David’s prayer request in Psalms 144:12. “That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.” David wanted children who were grown up (Gadal H1431) in character, desires, and conduct while at a young age. That goal is not popular today as evidenced by the spiritual condition of our country. 

Do you desire boys who will become real men of God? If so, that will require purposeful parenting. You want to bring things into their lives that will achieve the goal and eliminate the chaff of the world that prevents them from maturing. 

As Spurgeon said in The Treasury of David, regarding Psalms 144:12, “that the young men are, the older men will be.” Might that explain why the average professing believer/church member is more interested in having fun and a good time than serving and sharing Christ? 

“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

How Committed Are You?

Our neighbors are beginning to plant their gardens. No one plants without the hope of a harvest. How earnest they are in fertilizing, watering, and defending against weeds and pests will determine the quality of their produce. The parallels are striking between gardening and raising children.

Some (few?) Christian parents want to raise children to become dynamic followers of the Lord Jesus Christ. Obviously, we can’t know any parent’s heart, but we can clearly make assumptions based on the actions and choices that are observable. This is similar to observing what a gardener does with his garden. Optimism isn’t enough. It takes making hard decisions, denial of self, and the right investment in your children. Bad choices = bad harvest.

Foolishness is bound in the heart of children (Proverbs 22:15). You don’t just start with a clean slate. Children begin as fools. Then the work must begin.

Our Lord wants us and our children to love Him and forsake the world. How our hearts yearn that this is the desire of all Christian parents. That is why we write these articles and offer our resources. Through them you have someone encouraging you to be in the Word, forsaking the love of the world and all the enticing things it offers. 

“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (1 John 2:15).