Category Archives: Dad’s Corner

Gratefulness Part 2

Raising grateful children is far more than merely having children who superficially say, “Thank you.” Last week Seriously began this thought on gratitude that ultimately has eternal consequences for our children.

We learn from Deuteronomy 28:45-47 the deeper, underlying fault (the second “because”) that led to Israel’s disobedience. What is that fault? They weren’t grateful. “Because thou servedst not the Lord thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, for the abundance of all things.” They weren’t grateful because they weren’t noticing and valuing God’s blessing of “the abundance of all things.” 

Dads, our positive or negative example, is impressed upon the hearts of the children. Do you recognize God’s blessings, and then do you sincerely praise Him out loud, in the presence of your family, in good times and bad? Grateful hearts create an ongoing awareness of God’s grace, mercy, love, presence, power, provision, and even chastening. 

As we thank Him and speak it out, it helps our children learn to appreciate His blessings versus assuming and expecting them.  

Will your children have an entitlement mentality when they are grown, expecting God to continue to dole out blessings, or will they be grateful for all that God has done and continues to do for them? What about you? Where are you on the gratitude scale? Do you declare that gratefulness to the Lord not only in private prayer but continually aloud in the presence of your children?

“Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened” (Romans 1:21).

Steve

Painful Reminders

Ever made bad choices and had someone remind you of them? It doesn’t feel great, but it helps not to make the same one mistake again. Those reminders can be like a giant billboard that flashes, “Don’t do it again. Don’t do it again.” 

God put just such a practice in place for our good according to Deuteronomy 28:46. “And they shall be upon thee for a sign and for a wonder, and upon thy seed for ever.” “They” refers to the curses mentioned in the previous verses (16-44) brought about by disobedience. 

The Israelites’ disobedience brought curses, which would be ongoing reminders that they should have obeyed the Lord. Read the list of consequences for disobedience. They are very sobering and may even be some that you are dealing with. Also notice verse 47, “Because thou servedst not the Lord thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, for the abundance of all things.” They were not grateful for God’s blessings. Those words are highly convicting to me. I see how my pride has led me to take many of God’s blessings for granted. I have not been grateful to my Lord and am repenting. 

Brothers, are we grateful to our Lord? Gratefulness comes from the heart. Gratefulness to God fuels our obedience. Thankfulness, on the other hand, is an outward expression, which may or may not come from the heart. Being deeply grateful to the Lord carries eternal blessings, the least of which is no regrets. More to be discussed later. 

Steve

Motivated vs unmotivated

Teri and I were being checked out at a local supermarket, and I had begun chatting with the bagger while he worked. “Where are you headed with your life?” I asked.

“I’m going to be a graphic designer,” he responded.

“Great,” I continued. “How will you prepare?”

“I already have a degree in graphic design.”

“Super. Do you want to give me your phone number in the event I find something you might be interested in?”

“Actually, I’m not looking for a job.”

Here was a man who appeared satisfied with bagging groceries as “fill-in” work when he could be working full-time and developing professional skills. I was amazed at the “appearance” of his lack of motivation. I am looking forward to speaking with him next time I see him and what I might learn from him.

Have your children learned how rewarding it is to be diligent workers, accomplish things, and strive for greater skills? Oh, how good that feels. Yet, to the unmotivated person, the idea of work (and learning) might be a good reason for a nap until that idea is gone.

Much of life is about perspective and options. Establish the frame of mind in your home that work and developing skills is good. Please don’t make readily available things that are a waste of precious time.

If you have an unmotivated child, I’d love to hear your thoughts on what factors led to this outcome.

“Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men” (Proverbs 22:29).

Steve

Both Are Gone Now

I recently discovered a printed email dated over ten years ago. It was from a dear Brother who was a dynamic follower of the Lord. He deeply loved his Lord and his family. 

I’m also reminded of another dad. He broke his wife’s heart when he told her that he had decided he didn’t want to be married to her any longer and would be leaving the family. There was someone else. 

Both of those dads are gone. The first is with the Lord waiting for his family. The second was killed in an auto accident on his way to work. 

A few thoughts: 

  • Always be discipling your children to know, love and serve the Lord so that their dependence is on Him when you are gone. 
  • Be zealous for time with your family. Life is fragile and uncertain. 
  • Walk uprightly. God does and will chasten. “For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth…” Heb 12:6,7)
  • Nourish and cherish your wife. Invest in her. Satan’s lie is “the grass is greener on the other side.” God hates divorce. Malachi 2:16
  • Live so that you can step out of this life into eternity unexpectedly. Be debt-free so the ones you love aren’t left “holding the bag” of your financial mismanagement.  

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it … So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself” (Ephesians 5:25 & 28).

Steve

Disgusting

Ever happen at your home? A slow bathroom drain needs “attention” if opening the faucet more, the sink begins to fill with the stopper fully open. Not good.

To fix the problem, I remove the stopper gaining access to the drain from above and disconnect the trap below the sink. I clean them both with whatever tools will do the job, pulling out hair coated in disgusting toothpaste and then reassemble. Finally I fill the sink with water, release the stopper, check the flow, and also look for leaks underneath.

How’s your prayer life, Brother? First, are you praying? Is God answering? Might you feel like your prayers are not flowing?

If so, ask the Lord to examine your heart. What sort of blockage could be hindering the flow? “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me” (Psalms 66:18). What disgusting things have you allowed in your heart? What sort of “eye-candy” are you feasting on? What are you coveting? “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14). 

My Brother, is your heart clean?

Steve

Your Thoughts?

Our world is changing fast. The challenges I faced 30 years ago are being dwarfed by what you are facing today. Abominable evils are always within arm’s reach. Our world doesn’t know truth as evidenced by what God says is good, being called bad by the world and what God says is bad being called right.

The constant pressure against a family that desires to live for the Lord is staggering. Even within the local church, the spectrum of what is permissible is vast. As a result, families who were strong ten years ago are now crumbling.

How is your family fairing? What are the top three problems you are struggling with? What do you see other families facing?

Feel no pressure to respond, but it would be a blessing if you would share your thoughts on these. Either email or respond here.

“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” (Isaiah 5:20)

Steve

Communist Became a Believer

We listened to a national missionary from an eastern block country share his testimony Sunday night. He told how the communists and socialists took over their country one step at a time. They imposed gun control and then confiscated all weapons. They took over the health care system and every educational institution.  God was removed in every way from their society, and then it rippled into the homes.  The result—a broken people with crushed families having no hope.  

Sounds pretty familiar, doesn’t it? Brothers, what value do you place on your freedom to educate and disciple your children? In actuality, how dedicated are you to raising your children to love and serve the Lord Jesus Christ? Where is the evidence that you are all in for the Lord Jesus and your children? A possible good initial indicator of how committed you are to discipling your children would be to add up how many days in the last months you missed leading daily family Bible time?  (0 would be great.) Next consider your life’s example, your appetites, and how you spend your time are being impressed on your children’s hearts. 

“And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment” (Mark 12:30).

Bad Example

My heart’s desire is for my life to be an example/encouragement to my family and brothers in the Lord. However, there has been one area I don’t want you to follow my lead. 

I have Coronary Artery Disease (CAD). Sadly though, many of you likely do as well but you don’t know it. I had it for years, before there were symptoms and diagnosed. I relied on my exercise to maintain my health primarily, managing my weight secondarily while ignoring cholesterol. 

Might I with great love encourage you to get your cholesterol checked (can be done inexpensively through labs without a doctor visit) and make sure it stays well in the green zone by what you eat and exercise? Also, I understand that having your waist measurement less than half of your height is another important factor. Even if you are at peace with where you will spend eternity, your family needs you alive and well.  

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). 

Are You The Problem?

Homeschooling is alive, well, and quite popular. Homeschoolers I have spoken with over the years want a better outcome for their children than other educational options offer. Not only is a better education desired (and generally achieved), but children, who upon completing their education, still have a strong faith in the Lord Jesus. 

Moms are usually the ones doing the majority of the planning, teaching, and grading, day-in-and-day-out. However, are you aware that you can be the one who effectively shipwrecks her investment with little effort on your part?  

Dads with poor and unsupportive attitudes can torpedo their children’s future. “How?” you ask. It is because Dad’s heart is generally impressed on the children’s hearts. What Dad loves, the children love, and what he dislikes, the children dislike. If Dad doesn’t care how well the children do in school, they aren’t going to apply themselves and will make it difficult for Mom. If Dad doesn’t have a heart for the Lord Jesus and isn’t serious about obeying Him, the children will be drawn to the world just like their father (you). 

I plead with you. Your income job is wood, hay, and stubble. Leading and discipling your family in the Lord Jesus is “gold, silver, and precious stones.” So many dads have it backwards. Brother, be dedicated to the work God has called you to do. 

“Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood have, stubble; Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire: and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is” (1 Corinthians 3:12-13).

Your Answer

“Joey, I confess that your Grandpa was saddened about abortions, but that was a little like saying, ‘be warm and filled’ because I was doing nothing. We knew abortion was wrong, but like others, I used the excuse of ‘too busy,’ and besides I didn’t know what to do about it. Then one morning I was convicted while reading the passage “the land was polluted with blood” (Psalm 106:38). So I purposed that every time I prayed, I would pray that God would protect the unborn and unloved.”

“Then over time God moved in our hearts. We heard about Life Chain Sunday (1st Sunday in October, it’s the 6th this year) that promotes awareness of abortion across the nation. For one hour we joined others who stood along a designated road in our town and held pro-life signs and prayed. It was a start. We subscribed to pro-life newsletters so we were informed as to how to pray. We donated to pregnancy centers that helped pregnant women who had needs and chose to give their babies life. Over time we became even more involved.” 

“If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone” (James 2:14-17).