Category Archives: Dad’s Corner

Never Have Imagined

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Most reading this will have lived long enough to encounter a person whose life is a disaster. Given a chance to dialogue, this is what they say, “I never thought I would come to this.” In expressing it, they are objective enough to realize they are not in a good place. How does this happen? It begins with one compromise, then another, next is a bad decision, and then others follow. The smaller the compromise and decision, the more likely it will go unnoticed. 

David, a man after God’s heart, took another man’s wife and then had her husband killed. (2 Samuel 11:1-12:23). Could it have been the first time he watched Bathsheba from his roof at night? Frankly, I doubt it. That night he was particularly vulnerable and bad choices followed. 

What about you? Are you making good decisions or possibly on a path of compromising? Consider these questions for starters: 

What are you looking at? 

When you got up this morning, was it a consistent time based on a set bedtime for how much sleep you need? 

Is your bedtime and wake up time such that you WILL have a special time with your Lord in His Word and prayer daily? 

It is SO easy to make and justify a poor decision. How much better to follow what Proverbs 3:5-7 tells us. “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.”

Wise decisions don’t earn us special merit with the Lord. We make them because we desire the good fruit they produce. Certainly, one excellent fruit from wise decisions is the great example that is for our children. “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).

Stinking Rotten Trash

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Whew, does it stink. Not all trash stinks, but in general it is what is rotten, good for nothing, and fit for the landfill. This may sound weird, but I have such a high regard for the “trash men” in our town. Why? Because it is an AWFUL job that they do. They ride on the back of the garbage truck, go from house to house, take a large step down from the truck, walk over get the trash cart and bags if there are some, and wheel it over to the back of the truck, connect it, dump it, then walk it back to where it was, and big step back on the truck. Next they ride the truck 25-50 feet to the next house and repeat. In the winter it can be bitterly cold and it the summer VERY hot. And then there is rain and snow. There are no convenient bathrooms or water coolers. It is amazing anyone does this work. That is why I am so grateful for them and endeavor to express it.

Have you noticed the similarities between stinking, rotten, trash and our sin? For proper health and well-being, both need to be removed. If left, both contaminate what is good. I’m grateful for our local trash crew, but I’m eternally grateful for Jesus Christ the One Who lived a sinless life so He could die a horrible death to carry my sin and die the death I deserve. 

“Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth” (Isaiah 53:4-7)

Two Better Than One

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Living next door to Nathan I often see him working with one of his sons. That gives me great pleasure because I know it is an investment in their futures. Years ago, I was doing that with Nathan. Now I see the fruit in his life reproducing in his sons. 

Nathan’s confidence and willingness to tackle repairs, projects, automotive work, and yard work has doubtless saved him a lot of money. Additionally, and maybe more importantly, it provides quality time with his sons. Teaching sons to enjoy work projects with Dad pays dividends throughout their lives. 

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). 

There is, however, a cost to count when you include your son in a project. In the early years, every project with him takes longer than if you did it by yourself. Your son shouldn’t merely watch you but be hands-on himself in the process. He will do some things incorrectly, even when you are instructing him, and those will have be be redone, which will require your patience. (Good growth opportunities for Dad, too.) 

What if you, Dad, don’t know how to do something? Years ago, I had a number of “how to fix-it” books that I referenced frequently. These days there are so many additional “how to” resources available. Learn to do it with your sons.

Don’t miss the precious opportunities you have as a dad to spend time with your boys, mentor them in the qualities needed to be a worker, and to learn practical skills they can use through out their lives. Go get your sons, and find a project to do with them. 

“He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich. He that gathereth in summer is a wise son: but he that sleepeth in harvest is a son that causeth shame” (Proverbs 10:4-5). 

Don’t Be an Og

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Og was the giant, godless, Amorite king of Bashan. He was a mighty warrior who inspired fear in those who heard of him. He was mentioned approximately seventeen times in the Bible indicative of his reputation. Yet, God told the Israelites, “Fear him not: for I will deliver him, and all his people, and his land, into thy hand; and thou shalt do unto him as thou didst unto Sihon king of the Amorites, which dwelt at Heshbon. So the LORD our God delivered into our hands Og also, the king of Bashan, and all his people: and we smote him until none was left to him remaining” (Deut 3:2b–3). 

We have a picture of a man, a giant, who was highly successful in his endeavors due to physical and mental gifting. He was therefore respected by those who knew of him. His success led to pride, greed, over confidence, and no fear of God. Consequently, when he moved to attack God’s people, the Lord removed him, his children, and all his people from the earth, like cleaning a dirty dish. God then gave Og’s land to Israel.

Even for those professing Jesus as Lord, it is easy to take pride in our abilities (God’s gifting to us) which can lead to overconfidence and then chastening. One consequence of pride is that God takes from one and gives to another, as we see happened with Og. Look around you—your home, your car, your wife, your children. In a blink of an eye, another could be living in your home, driving your car, embracing your wife, and caring for your children. 

Oh my brothers, it can happen in what seems like an instant. We must be the men of God He calls/commands us to be. No excuses. In the Word, loving/leading our families in the Word daily, and part of a Christ-honoring fellowship. We live for Him Who died for us. 

“But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up” (James 4:6-10). 

Are You Like the Hummingbird?

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I have observed hummingbirds lately. One hummingbird will chase other hummingbirds away maintaining his territory even when there are multiple available feeders nearby. The hummingbird’s hunger and desire for food is good, since he expends a large amount of daily energy. His survival depends on constantly eating. 

We can choose to have a similar hunger for the Lord and His righteousness by a directed focus and being careful what we feed upon. 

“If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Col 3:1-2). 

Key for us in desiring the things of the Lord as indicated and avoiding what’s in the second part of that verse, “not on things on the earth.” The earthly stuff kills our hunger for the things of the Lord.

“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart” (Psalm 37:4). Oh my brothers, desire Him, seek Him, His Kingdom and His righteousness. 

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matt 6:33).

Don’t go so far in imitating a hummingbird as to chase others away from your feeding place. Draw your wife and children with you into a deep desire for the Lord and the Word.

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The Heart Holds the Keys

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Young or old, whatever reigns in the heart rules the life. Often it is a man’s job that consumes him. Sports is common, pleasure, whether entertainment, food (difficult to hides the affects of that one) or hmm, call it physical pleasure/lust so easily can enslave a man. 

“Just one – smile- of my favorite verses is that Jesus saw the multitude with compassion. “But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd. Then saith he unto his disciples, The harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers are few; Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest” (Matthew 9:36-38).

I define compassion to the children as “pity to act.” It’s not just feeling sorry for them but able and willing to do something. It is all about seeing the lost as on their way to hell and wanting and actually sharing the gospel. See the world. There are only two groups before the Judge —those who are pardoned and those who are condemned. Pardoned by the blood of Jesus —or headed to hell. 

I do love witnessing and passing out tracts in this country —anywhere really. Any rejection is not of me; who cares what you think of me anyway? Pray for souls to be saved —there lies the power; God wants to use our mouths, our feet, our hands, everything.” 

In His grip, 

Joan Cuthbertson

(That quote was an email from a fantastic soul-winning, homeschooling mother of 12, missionary in the Ivory Coast)

Jesus had compassion and then did something. The first question is are we concerned (compassion) for other’s souls? How concerned are we even for our children’s souls? Frankly, that may be the main problem. In a “me first” society, the need to be concerned and broken for other’s impending eternal suffering is likely the first step. 

Then, to motivate to action. 

Wide Path to Destruction

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I have a tract called “The Bridge” that has a well done graphic (by William Ressler) on the front. It shows a wide path of people walking toward destruction and falling into a flaming canyon. There is also a narrow path with few people heading for a cross-like bridge over the flames. How I wish that every professing believer had that image burned into his mind and heart so that when he sees people, he sees them likely on that wide path toward the flames. 

Thankfullyour God is a God of love Who desires that none would perish. “Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish” (Matthew 18:14).

“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

If God so loved the people of the world that He would give His Son as the ultimate sacrifice for our sins, shouldn’t our hearts be broken for others on the path to destruction? 

A  Deep Ugly Root

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A  Deep Ugly Root

I absolutely love how the Lord works to His glory and our good through His indwelling Spirit and the Word by sharpening and equipping to make us more useable. Recently, He has been revealing to me my pride. It started in my daily time in the Word. How the Spirit will use that time as an investment in our walk with Him. Better to not eat a bite of food all day than miss a quality time in the Word in the morning.

That morning through my Scripture reading, pride was clearly highlighted as a problem in my life. Since then it has become the daily focus in thought, the Word, and prayer. This verse is instrumental in that: “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate” (Proverbs 8:13). In that one verse, hate is used twice! This is no sugar coating it, but a clear picture of what God thinks of pride. It is EVIL, and I’m to hate it! 

Notice, pride is the first thing mentioned in this list that God hates. Pride will keep you from fear of the Lord.  Pride lifts up, when humility is the example of Christ Himself. “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:5-8).

I want the mind of Christ. I want to live for Him. “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:29). 

Neither Ditch

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Aren’t you happy when driving down the highway and you are able to keep the car out of either ditch? Sort of makes your day, doesn’t it? Might you reply, “Actually, if that was my only goal, I’m still at great risk from oncoming traffic if I’m weaving back and forth across the whole road.” Oh, I get it, but then why do so many believers seem to steer their walk with Christ with the goal of “staying out of either ditch, spiritually?” Meaning, they want to avoid being seen as making horrible sinful choices and yet not be viewed as too holy? 

That isn’t consistent with “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service” (Romans 12:1). 

However, holiness is not a bunch of checkboxes, if I don’t do this I’m holy. Yes, it does involve what I do and don’t do, but what am I bringing into my mind? What delights my soul? “But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;  Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy” (1 Peter 1:15-16).

Victim or Owner

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It amazes me that the cry of today seems to be: not my fault, he did it, that wasn’t fair, injustice, no one taught me, no one warned me, the government should have, and the list goes on. How freeing of responsibility when the problem isn’t my fault.

If you are a parent you have heard it all, but it doesn’t seem to solve any problems, does it? Somehow it does make the proclaimer feel better. If it is someone else’s fault than the child can’t be held responsible for his actions, right? The mantra of today is as old as creation. “And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat” (Genesis 3:12).

What’s the answer? First, we examine ourselves. Do we make excuses? Is that the example we set for the family? If that is your problem, you, with the Lord’s help, resolve it starting now.

Then work with your children. Define the problem to your children. Explain why it isn’t good and why it is important that we take personal responsibility for our actions and words. This is critical because we read, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5:10). 

Clear ownership for our actions is the standard. Help your children understand what that looks like in daily life. Then be sure you affirm them when they follow the standard rather than dishing out the consequences that come with ownership of the problem for a set period of time.