Monthly Archives: July 2014

Will You Be Satisfied Once You Arrive?

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It is not where are you headed, but where are you going. An airplane headed due north can actually be traveling to the northwest because of an east wind. The longer the time in route – blown by that easterly wind – the farther that plane heading due north will be from the desired destination. Pilots must be aware of the prevailing wind in route (an external force pushing against them) and purposefully act to compensate for it lest they miss their desired destination.

Dads, too, can experience a great deal of external forces exerting pressure on them. This pressure can come from certain members of the family, from friends and neighbors, from cultural forces. It often comes dressed as “well-meaning” pressure that challenges Dad to make decisions that ultimately would not be in the best interest of his children or the family.

Dad may desire to head “true north” – to have a certain outcome, such as a united, loving, Christ-following family – but make decisions that will bring different results. It takes careful planning and courage to make the decisions that keep the family on course. Are we in the Word daily, following it, and abiding in Christ?

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

Steve

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What Do They Have in Common?

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What do the following items have in common: a park, a street, a bridge, a bench, a pew, a portion of a highway, and a business?

They often are named after people as a memorial. Beyond a mere name, though, they give no clue as to what the named person was like.

Your name, however, is written on your children’s lives, and your children bear the impression of your life upon them. “… the lusts of your father ye will do” (John 8:44). Jesus was speaking very strongly with people who had professed to believe in Him (John 8:31).

What we love and pursue our children will love and pursue as well. May we pursue Jesus Christ with all our hearts. “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit” (Romans 8:1). Are we walking after the Spirit?

Steve

Character/Spiritual Link Discovered

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In1869 Swiss physician Friedrich Miescher discovered DNA. DNA is God’s unique “blueprint” for each of us. It determines what we will look like – what color eyes and hair we have, our height, our skin tone. Did you know that we have a “character and spiritual DNA,” too? You can get a pretty good picture of a person’s character and spiritual “DNA” simply by studying his choices. Those who are near us and can observe our decisions get a good idea of our true character and spiritual makeup.

A few examples:

  • Choosing to spend time with the Lord every day in His Word because we delight in Jesus
  • Choosing to lead family Bible time every day because we want to give the family a love for God’s Word
  • Choosing to invest time in things that have eternal value because our time on earth is short
  • Choosing to team up with our wives to put the children to bed because she works hard all day
  • Choosing to get her something she needs to show her our love
  • Choosing to make the bed sometimes because she is usually the one to do it
  • Choosing to actively disciple our children because we have the spiritual responsibility for them

or

  • Choosing to cater to our own wants and needs because we love ourselves more than we love our wives, our children, or others.

“Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works” (James 2:17-18).

Steve

Huh?

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As I was getting out of the elevator on my way back to our hotel room, a member of the hotel staff asked me a question. I couldn’t understand him and asked him to please repeat. He made another attempt, this time slower and with greater emphasis. I still didn’t understand him and asked if he would please repeat it again to me. He did, and I didn’t.

So he tried using one word as a question: “Checkout?” To that I replied, “Yes.” He smiled and we both went our ways. As I walked down the hall, I heard him dialoging in his native language with the housekeeping staff.

I thought about how important it is that we speak the language of those we are called to serve. I wondered how different our level of communication might have been if that fellow spoke English all the time instead of his native tongue. If they constantly spoke English among themselves is it possible they would be better equipped when speaking with the majority of their customers.

I then thought about my role as a father. I am so grateful for the weekly time I spend with each of my children on Sundays. I treasure the one-on-one time when we meet to discuss any problems they might have with me or with others in the family. We also discuss any other topic that is on their hearts. As a result of those meetings, we know each other well and can communicate on a deep level. I treasure my ability to speak on a heart level daily with those in my family.

“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11). Can you speak the language of those you are called to serve? It takes effort to (re)learn to speak their language.

Steve

Loving Your Husband

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How to Love Your Husband

I feel loved and encouraged when a friend or family member does something for me that saves me time, that is something I don’t enjoy doing, that is difficult for me to do, or that simply makes life easier in a big or little way. I believe the same is true for my husband. Steve and I will have been married for 40 years next month. One of the greatest joys in my life is that we are happily married. Because of the love I have for my husband, I want to bless him.

Several years ago, a number of ladies on a message board we hosted shared ways they loved their husbands by blessing them. Reading these little testimonials again uplifted my heart as I saw wives who desired to do practical things for their husbands that would make them feel the love these wives had for them. They also motivated me to look for ways to bless my husband. I wanted to share with you what these wives gave to me, hoping that they will spur you on to continue investing in that precious relationship you have with your husband.

—I try to make sure he never has to get his own drink of water or whatever. I try to notice if it is almost empty and ask him if he would like a refill. I serve him his plate of food first at the meals.
—I lay his clothes out for him the night before. He has to dress nicely, and he HATES looking for something to wear. I try to have it all nicely pressed and a matching tie on the hanger, too.
—I never talk badly about him, ever, no matter what.
—When I’m done washing, drying, and folding the clothes, I put them away. For my husband, this is an extra he really appreciates!
—I leave him notes in unexpected places—mirror, pant’s pocket, lunch cooler, etc. The notes say things like, “You’re the best . . . Thanks for all you do . . . I miss you every day . . . Can’t wait for you to be home from work . . . Praying for you . . . Have a super day . . .”
—Getting my husband’s morning coffee is a blessing to him.
—It is so much fun for me to bless my husband! He has a sweet tooth, so I try to fill it with nutritionally superior goodies, which he loves.
—I CONSTANTLY remind him of how very thankful I am for him, how I appreciate that he provides for our family, and how wonderful he is.
—I really try to make sure I do whatever he mentions that needs to be done because he rarely asks me to do anything for him.
—My husband likes it when I call him during the day, out of the blue, just to say, “I love you,” or “I miss you.” He told me that really makes him feel special.
—I make bread from freshly milled flour because my husband loves it.
—I try to always have some freshly-baked goodies around for him and ask him what he would like me to bake.
—I make meals that I know will please him and always serve him first.
—He calls me his “wardrobe consultant.” I try to help him pick out his clothes, making sure his socks, belt, and shoes match.
—I always say “I love you” whenever we are parting.
—I make the phone calls he asks me to make.
—I send out birthday cards and such to his family members.
—Because my husband has trouble getting up on time in the morning, I set an alarm to make sure I get up and then make sure he gets up on time.
—I purchased a small whiteboard and hung it by the back door. It is for his use only. I asked him to write extra things on it that he would like me to accomplish each day, such as phone calls, research, or errands. I have a visual reminder of what he needs, and he is confident it will be done when he gets home. If I can’t finish it that day, I call and ask him if it can be delayed.
—I put a small basket in our bathroom with two mini-notebooks and a pen in it. One notebook is for him, and the other is for me. I try to write a note on each page and date it. I try to do this at least twice a week. I write things about appreciating something he’s done, like taking out the trash, or share my admiration for character traits that I see in him.
—I call when I am going to be late.
—Dinner is always on the table at six at his request.
—I respect my husband’s opinions and wisdom.

Steve and I have experienced the documented fact that relationships grow through our investment in them. Sometimes as busy moms we become so focused on children, homeschooling, homemaking, and other activities that we lose our emphasis on the husband and wife relationship.

I recently listened to a Dr. SM Davis message on marriage and was reminded that when the children leave home and the nest is empty, a husband and wife want to have a friendship and a love for each other that makes their lives happy and enjoyable. I believe the key to that end is ongoing investment during these years of raising children. We have found that it is easy to become lazy and take one another for granted. Anything of value takes effort.

My prayer is that, as you read the ways other wives invest in their husbands’ lives, you will recall or discover ways that your husband feels loved by you. Then, put them into practice. As I read through the list I am sharing with you, I thought about how, for the most part, each of these things takes very little time, and yet how strongly they communicate “I love you. You are important to me. I value you.” I want Steve to feel that from me. I think you want your husband to feel it from you.

Stop the Pollution, Please

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“Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people” (Proverbs 14:34).

I received a comment protesting our Memorial Day blog post because in it we mentioned the babies who have been aborted. In the post, we mentioned the babies after honoring our fallen military men.
“O, please God, help us!” May we be a broken and praying people over what is happening in our country to innocent babies whose blood is covering our land. Let that weigh more heavily on our hearts than the exact definition of a holiday.

“And shed innocent blood, Even the blood of their sons and of their daughters, Whom they sacrificed unto the idols of Canaan: And the land was polluted with blood” (Psalm 106:38).

Steve