Monthly Archives: May 1997

A Business Lunch

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Moms–PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS!! It is for your husbands only.

Friday I was invited to go to lunch with one of my suppliers. If that were you, would you go? Next, let me tell you it was a saleswoman. Would you still go? Mixed lunches are the accepted norm these days and so are close working relationships. Might someone who didn’t participate be looked on as an “old prude”?

Let each one of us ask ourselves whether we believe we have been faithful to our wives. Now let’s imagine our wives asking themselves if they feel we have been faithful to them. Do you think our wives’ answers would match our answers? What if they knew our thoughts; would they change their decision?

Jesus defined adultery as lusting for another woman. So a definition of faithfulness would likely be even narrower than just that of adultery. We can be sure that our wives would rather they are the ones we are spending time with, no matter what the reason. (Shouldn’t that be our feeling as well?) After many observations, I believe that individual (even small-group) time spent with women other than our wives is like playing with fire. I know this statement can evoke some interesting responses, but I am convinced it is true. Let me illustrate this further.

If David, a man after God’s own heart, could fall into the trap of adultery because of being where he shouldn’t have been, then why do we, who are less spiritual, feel we couldn’t fall into a similar trap? Homes are broken and lives damaged all because of what reason? Could it ever be worth that? The idea that we can’t become attached to someone else is a lie from hell, with history bearing witness. It is like playing Russian roulette with six rounds loaded!

Let’s assume we are all moral giants and totally impervious to physical temptations. (I know it’s impossible, but for the sake of my example please stay with me.) In 1 Thessalonians 5:22, we are instructed to abstain from even the appearance of evil. I told the saleswoman I couldn’t go as I have determined not to go to lunch with other women. Before I could continue, she laughed and said she wouldn’t bite and could even bring a male sales engineer along. I explained that with that aside, what if someone who knew Teri and me saw us together? What might they think? She exclaimed, “Wow, do you really mean that?” I said I did. She understood and thought that was great.

I believe God will honor our commitment to taking no chances. Another example. If heroin were legal, would you try it? Why not? Well, one reason is because we know how addicting it can be, and we don’t know how much we have to take to get hooked. So we would be crazy to try it. In that light, how did we fall in love with our wives? For me, I spent time with Teri, she became my friend (and still is), and then I fell in love with her. So why would we expect not to be in danger of becoming attracted to ANY other woman we spent much time with? From David until now, men daily are trapped. Could you be next?

Our wives are home caring for our children. We know they are as bright as, if not brighter than, the women we meet in our vocation. Shouldn’t they be the ones we go to lunch with? If childcare is a problem, then we could go home and let them go out with another homeschooling mom to show them how much we appreciate their ministry to our children.

Men, we must not delight in the company of any woman other than our own wives. Not only are our wives worth our faithfulness and adoration, but also, we are commanded to love them. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). Let us be men of God, committed to our wives.

Weariness

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“Today I am weary.” That was a part of a letter I recently wrote to a friend. Her response was very encouraging to me, so I asked if I could use it in a Mom’s Corner. Here is what she said.

“The purpose of this fax is to encourage you to keep laying the foundation. I know that you do not want to quit; keep building. Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit. These years will be over so quickly. There will be no more diapers to change (of children belonging to us); no more babies to nurse; no more toddlers to crawl into our lap or to tug at our skirts or to open the door to the bathroom when we are in there. All too soon the door will stay shut; our laps will be empty; there will be time to do all the ‘things’ that we think we’d like to do. But Teri, will that make us happy? No. What will bring joy to our hearts are the memories we hold of our children, and of the times we had together with them. So, let us make diaper-changing a memorable experience. Let us build memories while making supper. Let us lay the foundation for future generations, moment by moment, in the lives of our children.” Sandy

This is so good for me to keep in mind. I am always having an influence on my children either for good or bad, whether I am rested or weary. When I am tired, feeling overwhelmed, can I let go of what I think I have to do? What will count for eternity? What do I want my children to remember about me? Will they remember a mom who fussed and nagged at them? Will they remember a pleasant, tender mommy who smiled at them, loved them, and encouraged them even when she was tired? Our attitude and how we approach a situation makes all the difference! Does it matter if all the schoolwork is finished, the house is tidy, and the laundry done? I don’t want it to if the only way to accomplish it is with negative emotion from me. Yes, these things are goals I will work toward, but please, Lord Jesus, only when I can pursue them sweetly and patiently.

What opportunities the Lord gives us each day to learn to depend fully on Him! I am not capable of being the mother I want to be, and that I know He wants me to be, in my own strength. I am aware of that every day when I see how I react naturally to things that are difficult. I want to learn to cry out to the Lord for His strength, grace, and mercy throughout my day. I can testify that as we have hearts that desire to please the Lord, He does the work in us. He has worked many changes in my life from a mommy with three small children who could hardly wait until they were in school full time to where I am now. Was it a special formula? Seven steps to change? An overnight miracle? No, but a faithful Savior working in a sinful mother’s life over the course of twenty years.

Perhaps you are caught in the middle of an overloaded schedule. If irritation is creeping into your interactions with your children, can you ask yourself, “Will this count for eternity?” When you are exhausted, will you rest and let tomorrow’s worries take care of themselves? “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof” (Matthew 6:33-34). Build the foundation with your children one moment by one moment.

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