Category Archives: Mom’s Corner

The Valley of the Shadow of Death

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As many of you know, we walked through the valley of the shadow of death in March as we watched our oldest son, Nathan, and his wife, Melanie lose their precious daughter, Susannah Joy, after she lived only three days. We were not total strangers to that valley having lost two babies, ourselves, to miscarriage. As Susannah’s life was held in the balance, we felt like our lives were on hold as well. At that moment, it didn’t seem like any semblance of reality or normalcy could ever continue again. But a month later, we found ourselves celebrating Joseph’s eighteenth birthday with life moving forward—without the grandbaby we had so excitedly anticipated being part of each special event.

I was with Melanie the day she was in early labor. Because of her serious back labor, I rode to the hospital with Nathan and Melanie to rub Melanie’s back while Nathan was driving. For four days, I ended up living at the hospital with them during the time Susannah was in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). I was Melanie’s companion when she needed to be in her room to eat or rest, enabling Nathan to be with Susannah. I was their secretary and messenger since cell phones weren’t allowed in the NICU. I was also the one to sit with Susannah in the middle of the night when Nathan and Melanie were forced to leave her to sleep a few hours.

When Job’s seven sons and three daughters perished in one day, Scripture tells us of Job’s response. “Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly” (Job 1:20-22). In the very early morning hours of Susannah’s last day, I was able to hold her during my turn at her side while her parents slept. I memorized those verses with that precious, tiny baby in my arms. They were words of comfort, truth, and hope for my hurting heart.

We wanted to go through this trial as Job went through his trial, but we didn’t really know what that meant in a real-life situation of a baby dying. Job grieved, but he also worshipped the Lord in the midst of that grief. Throughout those most difficult three days, we found our continual words to each other and our family members were, “God is good.” He is good in the midst of pain just as He is good when all is going smoothly. We were determined to praise the Lord Jesus even when our hearts were breaking with the seriousness of the situation we faced. In hindsight, I believe the confession of God’s goodness was a part of our worship of Him at that time.

Nathan would regularly say to Melanie and me during those hospital days, “We aren’t going to ask questions. We are simply going to trust the Lord.” Of course, they asked many questions of the doctors and nurses about Susannah’s care and how she was doing. Those were not the questions to which he was referring. The unasked questions were concerning why this was happening when they had waited five long years for a baby and the Lord had finally filled their empty arms. There were so many of these kinds of questions we could have asked for which there were no answers. I saw Nathan’s wisdom in his direction to us. What would we accomplish by dwelling on those questions? The trials in our lives produce tests of our faith. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). I can’t understand; will I still believe?

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). That trust Nathan was calling us to rest in was based upon the truth of God’s Word. While we continually cried out to the Lord Jesus for Susannah’s healing, there was a sense in our hearts that He might not answer that prayer with physical, earthly healing, which would have been the “work together for good” that we would have chosen.

“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). I experienced that comfort through my miscarriages, and I experienced it again with Susannah’s death. In the hospital, especially when we knew Susannah wouldn’t make it, I felt like maybe I would start crying and never stop, but I didn’t. One way the Lord comforted me was to keep me busy. There was always a phone call to make, something to be carried to the NICU, or a job in the room that needed to be done.

When Steve and I were on the way home from the hospital after Susannah’s death, we stopped at a convenience store. As we walked in, the first sight I saw was a young mommy coming out with a tiny baby in a car seat. How many times during Melanie’s pregnancy had I seen a similar situation and thought to myself, “Soon that will be Melanie with her baby”? As I looked at that mommy and baby, my eyes filled with tears thinking that Nathan and Melanie would never put Susannah Joy into a car seat. At that moment, I realized I had a choice in front of me. I could gaze at the baby and think about all the “what if’s,” focusing on my pain and grief and Nathan and Melanie’s as well. Or I could turn my thoughts away from myself and onto the Lord Jesus Christ through thanksgiving. “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Thanksgiving is a daily, ongoing choice I have to make. I can wake up in the morning thinking about Susannah and start to cry, or I can wake up praising the Lord. When something hits me out of nowhere that reminds me of Susannah, and I begin to cry, I can continue to cry, or I can take those thoughts captive. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). The truth is that while we wanted Susannah to be a part of our lives on earth, she is with the Lord Jesus—a place filled with the joy of His presence without any pain or sorrow. The span of this life is but a passing moment compared to the eternity we will spend with her. Where will I put my thoughts—on myself or on my Lord Jesus?

We are very grateful to each of you who have prayed for Susannah, Nathan, Melanie, and our family. You have been a part of God’s rod and staff that brought us comfort. Your prayers and words have sustained us, and they have caused us to thank God as we walk in this valley of death.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me” (Psalms 23:4). Perhaps you have walked through the valley of the shadow of death. Maybe you have faced or are facing another type of trial for which there are no answers. May I encourage you that God is good. Trust in the truth of His Word. Allow yourself to be comforted by the God of all comfort. Set your mind on thanking Him rather than on the grief or difficulty.

From Night Owl to Morning Lark

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Regularly I am asked questions that revolve around the struggle a mom has to get up in the morning at the time she both needs and wants to arise. This appears to be a common problem for stay-at-home moms. We don’t have the accountability that an away-from-home job would give, forcing us to get up in the morning at a designated time.

I believe that as stay-at-home moms we should place a priority on getting up early in the morning to begin our day. Unless we view this as an important part of our lives, we will allow many excuses to stay in bed in the morning to infiltrate our thinking. It is easy to fall into the trap of believing that since we don’t have to punch a time clock at a job, we can allow our feelings and weaknesses to dictate our schedule. However, there are many problems that will come about in our lives, our homes, and our children’s lives if we don’t make the choice to be disciplined about when we get up in the morning.

One area to be hurt when we stay in bed in the morning will be the daily tasks to be accomplished. The life of a stay-at-home mom is filled with homemaking, child care, and perhaps homeschooling. These are time-consuming jobs that require us to be diligent, energetic, and efficient. When we rise in the morning, we get a handle on our jobs before they overtake us with discouragement. “Love not sleep, lest thou come to poverty; open thine eyes, and thou shalt be satisfied with bread” (Proverbs 20:13). Plainly and simply, we won’t have the time in our days to keep up if we don’t get up and get busy in the morning.

Even before the daily activities get under way, the first area to suffer in our priorities if we don’t get up early in the morning will probably be our time in the Word and in prayer. Even though this should be our first priority, when we don’t rise before the children, we will let the urgent push the important out of our schedule. Here are links to two Mom’s Corners on the benefits of daily time with the Lord Jesus: September 2004 and November 2006.

Not only will our ability to be the moms we want to be suffer when we don’t have time in the Word, but we will set a powerful, negative example for our children as well. If it isn’t important enough for Mom to get up in the morning to spend time with Jesus, why would it be important to the child? We can’t be surprised or dismayed by children who don’t have a heart for the Lord Jesus Christ if we don’t lead the way for them by making time with the Lord of such an urgency that we choose to get up early enough to keep our Bible reading and prayer time.

We are the models for our children. They are learning from what they see in our lives. When we choose to allow excuses to keep us in bed, we are teaching our children to do the same thing. We really don’t want to teach our children to be sloths. “As the door turneth upon his hinges, so doth the slothful upon his bed” (Proverbs 26:14).

The mom who isn’t disciplined to get up in the morning before the children is educating her children in her ways without purposing to do so. This mom will then face an ongoing, discouraging battle to try to get her children out of bed in the mornings to eat breakfast, do their chores, and start school because they are following her example.

For the future, this mom has set a path for her children to be weighed down throughout their lives with the same struggle she has had to battle in getting up in the morning. “How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man” (Proverbs 6:9-11). As an adult, a son will have to get up to go to work each day. A daughter with a family of her own will also need to start her day early. If they haven’t learned these simple disciplines of life in their early years, they will be hindered in what God calls them to accomplish each day.

How does one go from a night owl to a morning lark? I would expect that many more moms would consider themselves to be night owls than to be morning larks by nature. We have allowed ourselves to become those night owls by our personal habits. The starting place, I believe, is to admit that being a night owl is a choice and that we are only making excuses when we say it is the way we are naturally, especially if the implication is that we can’t change. We might even go so far as to define it as sin if the Lord has been calling us to get up earlier in the morning, but we are still choosing to stay up at night.

The second step is to begin to pray, asking the Lord Jesus to help us get up when the alarm clock goes off. “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God” (Philippians 4:6). “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). It might help to put the alarm clock across the room.

The third step is to go to bed earlier at night. When the children are in bed and the house gets quiet, it is a temptation to catch up on what was neglected during the day or do something we want to do for ourselves. Staying up late almost guarantees that we won’t be able to get up in the morning. This is especially true if there are babies or toddlers in the home who are likely to need some kind of attention in the night. If we go to bed early, then we are more able to be up in the night, meet the need, and still arise in the morning.

Some moms have husbands who stay up later at night. In that case, a mom could try planning an afternoon nap into her schedule so that she is receiving the daily amount of sleep she needs when she is not able to go to bed earlier in the evening. Sometimes if the wife is willing to go to bed earlier, then the husband might be as well. It could be a benefit to both of them.

Here is a testimony of a mom who, with the Lord’s help, has been able to make the transition from a night owl to a morning lark.

“This worked for me . . . I borrow my husband’s self-discipline! He works construction and depending on travel time he is up by 6 a.m. every day. As his jobs change, so does his wake up time. Right now we are on a 4:45 a.m. wake up. Ugh! It’s the hardest yet!

“When we started I asked him to wake me and ASK me to get up with him. Being in submission to him is what actually got me out of bed.

“This has benefited him as well. I also enjoy the quiet time with him in the morning because we are able to discuss the day’s events. I pack him a healthy lunch. We both go to bed earlier now, too, so he is not as tired. Before he would stay up with me and be exhausted in the morning. I really can’t tell you how much this has improved our communication and marriage.” A Morning Lark

If becoming a morning lark sounds like an impossibility to you, schedule an afternoon nap so you will know that no matter how tired you might be during the morning, you will be able to take a nap later on. If you aren’t tired, you can use that time for another project.

There are seasons in our lives when we can’t get up early in the morning, such as when we have an illness, the children are sick, or we are up a long time in the night with a newborn baby. However, for most of us, in our daily lives we can choose to exercise the amount of self-discipline necessary to get up the in the morning.

I want to strongly encourage each of us to arise in the morning at a reasonable enough time, teaching our children to do the same. Ask the Lord Jesus for the strength and grace to follow through on your desire to get up and get going. Please don’t allow any excuses to keep you in bed in the morning. May we be women who want to spend every minute of our days in service to the Lord Jesus.

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Helping Children Overcome Sin

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Recently we had a request for a Mom’s Corner on a topic to which many of us can probably relate.

“I have become aware of my controlling tendencies and have begun to work on this area of my life. Knowing this behavior does not please the Lord Jesus I am learning to pray and trust His ways.

My goal is to serve my family with a gentle spirit, patient heart, and quiet voice; however, I have noticed that my ten-year-old daughter has picked up and mimics much of the ‘Old Mom.’

What methods can I use to teach her that Mom’s old way does not bring glory to God and that she will suffer the same if she continues in those behaviors? Most of the time she (like I was) is unaware of this controlling nature. Please help.” A Mom Who Is Growing Away from Controlling

As we evaluate our lives and our children’s lives, we often see our sin mirrored in our children. The world recognizes this with sayings such as, “Like mother, like daughter.” My example to my children is usually speaking as loudly as, or louder than, my actual words. Scripture also gives us a picture of how this process of our example works. “Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation” (Exodus 34:7).

Our salvation frees us from the bondage of sin, but we can still live with the consequences of that sin, including seeing it reproduced in our children. Because of our own recognition of the particular sin and our battle with it, we become very aware of it not only in our lives but also in our children’s lives. When we begin to experience victory, we are happy to release our families from the effects our sin has been having on them, but we are not happy to see those effects perpetuated by the same sin in one of our children.

Seeing my sin in my children helps to keep me aware of the consequences of that sin, my need to depend on the Lord Jesus Christ, my desire to continue to grow spiritually, and my prayer that I not fall back into the old ways. I can use my children’s failures to help me not become prideful over any victory I am experiencing but to be grateful for the Lord’s work in my life and to give Him the glory for it. It should also allow me to be compassionate toward my children as they battle the same sin that I have and most likely am continuing to struggle with in some measure. “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

When Steve and I face these kinds of situations of seeing our sin mirrored in our children, we begin discussing the problem and the solution with the child. Steve, as the spiritual head of our home, is the one who takes responsibility for initially addressing these kinds of sin issues. These difficulties offer good opportunities for heart-to-heart talks and then ongoing follow-up. Steve makes it a point to pull out practical application of the Word in our nightly family Bible time to the specific needs of the children. Often what sin one child is dealing with, another one may be as well.

Steve and I share with our children our failures and what the outcome has been through the years. We acknowledge to them that we know it has been our bad example that has opened the door for their sin. We discuss how the Lord has convicted us of that sin, how He has been teaching us to deal with it, and the changes we have experienced as a result.

In this particular case, here are verses of Scripture that might that apply to the problem and could be used in seeking to teach the Lord Jesus’ heart on the matter:

It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. (Proverbs 21:9)

A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing. (Proverbs 9:13)

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. (Proverbs 14:1)

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. (Proverbs 21:19)

A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. (Proverbs 27:15)

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. (Philippians 2:3)

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. (1 Peter 3:4)

Steve and I have found the one-on-one discussions are best to have at a time when the child is not in trouble for some wrong behavior. At the moment of failure, the child is often defensive and making excuses. However, if we plan for a time to spend alone with the child later on, first sharing the testimony of our failures and then discussing his need for change along with the applicable verses, then his heart is usually more open.

We can use these one-on-one discussions to begin the process of crying out to the Lord for victory over their sin. We will be a prayer warrior for our children in these struggles they are facing. We can pray with our child. Then the child can begin praying for himself daily to overcome the sin. We can also choose to pray for each other since we each know the other is wanting to be obedient in this area. Every time there is failure it will be another opportunity to pray since there will be confession, repentance, and asking of forgiveness.

As moms we want to point out and encourage our children’s successes in an area where they are wanting to change. We can bless them by helping them to notice the victories and to be grateful to the Lord Jesus for His work in their lives. We will also need to bring up the failures, if the children don’t do so first. Sometimes they won’t recognize their sin or will try to make excuses for it. Excuses are an indicator of pride in a child’s life, and that also needs to be worked with. Each failure is a step toward humility, if they will cast down pride, repent of sin, and choose to be obedient.

I also want to be aware of whether I have truly turned from the sin I see mirrored in my child’s life. Sometimes I may think there is spiritual growth over the sin, but in reality, I am still continuing to walk in the sin at least to some extent. I think this can be especially true in the area of controlling. It is good for our children to hear us acknowledge our sin and ask forgiveness for it.

“Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you” (Philippians 4:9). Paul tells his readers in this verse that his instruction to them of God’s Word and his personal example are the path they are to follow. This is important for us as mothers as well and very sobering since it bears with it great responsibility in our own personal obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ.

The path of instruction, example, and correction would apply to helping a child with any sin he is struggling with, not just a daughter who needs to stop controlling. We have the precious opportunity in our children’s lives to help them learn to obey Jesus Christ, depend on Him, and repent of their sin. Moms are generally with their children on a minute-by-minute basis, whereas our husbands are with the family for more limited amounts of time in the evenings and on the weekends because of their need to provide for the family. May we make the most of the mothering years we have with our children in helping and directing them in their spiritual walk with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Titus Two Encouragement for a Young Mother – Part 2

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Last month I began answering questions posed to me by a mom with two small children. Her desire is to have many children and the energy to keep up with them all. At the age of fifty-one with eight children, three of whom are now adults age twenty-five and older, I can relate to her thoughts and concerns. I asked her permission to use her letter and answer her questions in these Mom’s Corners. As a reminder, here is the information she gave me with her questions:

“I have just two children. They are both very young, and I am very tired. I would love for our family to keep growing, and I dream of having LOTS of children, but I am worried about how I’m going to find the energy to keep up with everyone. I am having a hard time with my energy levels now. I do take naps nearly everyday. I am naturally a night owl, but would LOVE to be an early riser. I really need to get up earlier than everyone to get everything done in the day. But it seems hopeless to be able to do so. Do young children really take so much energy out of you like people say? I don’t like that excuse for being tired, but the daily chores of changing two diapers, changing two outfits, feeding two extra people, brushing mine and their teeth, and finally finishing about the time a snack or lunch is needed seems like it zaps my energy. Being overwhelmed when you are tired only makes things harder. I need some encouragement from those who have had their children close together, and any advice on how to keep myself healthy while having children and managing them.” A young mom (used with permission)

While I see waiting on the Lord as ultimately the most important aspect of gaining energy for being home with and raising little children, I also highly endorse the use of a daily schedule. Looking back on my days with little children, I realize what a bountiful blessing my schedule was. It gave direction for both my time and my children’s time. I had a concrete plan for the day—to accomplish the tasks I needed to do and to productively spend time with the children. The schedule became the framework for helping me receive more children into my family. The schedule gave me time to teach my children how to do their chores and become responsible. It helped me with my priorities for my time with my children such as reading to them, playing with them, doing preschool activities, and working with them.

I would encourage this mom that even though she is a night owl, she should get to bed at night early enough that she can wake up in the morning before the children. Her time in the Word is imperative to the daily preparation of her heart for her hours of mothering and homemaking. When we change habits, it takes prayer, effort, and determination. Upon choosing to begin going to bed at a reasonable time, one might lie in bed the first few nights unable to get to sleep. However, if we stay the course of going to bed and getting up at the determined times, we will soon find ourselves ready to go to sleep at the earlier bedtime.

I believe a schedule could be the key to finding solutions for the issues with which this young mom is struggling, beginning with her time in the Word. Working with the schedule, we can find the needed bedtime for our children so that we are waking them up when we want them to wake up in the morning—a time that is just after we have our personal Bible and prayer time. The schedule helps Mom, working with her husband, to find the proper time to go to bed each night so that she can arise in the morning to spend time with the Lord Jesus. It can also enable her to accomplish other early morning tasks she might want to do, such as making her husband’s lunch or exercising before he goes to work.

The schedule can ensure that a mom is receiving an adequate amount of sleep. Here is a link to a Mom’s Corner I wrote on the topic of sleep. If she is getting a good night’s sleep, has a nap in the afternoon, and is still tired during the day, she would probably want to seek medical attention to determine whether there is something causing her excessive tiredness such as a thyroid problem or other treatable medical condition. A day with busy children and toddlers does take energy, but shouldn’t, as this mom is indicating, cause her to be “very tired” and “zap my energy.”

Sometimes young mothers neglect a healthy diet and therefore undermine what would be of great benefit to them: to have the energy they need for their active and growing families. The time investment in preparing nutritious food will pay dividends in the family’s overall health and in developing good eating habits in the children. From the time my children were about two years of age, I began including them as meal preparation and cleanup helpers. When they were young, they were little real help, but they were productively occupied, learning new skills, and fellowshipping with Mommy. As they grew older, some of my time pressures were relieved because the children were able to do much of the kitchen work, reducing the amount of meal jobs that I had to accomplish.

Weather permitting, when the children were young, I always took them for a walk. That way I was getting exercise, and they were burning off some of their abundant energy. The walking was good for my health and the children’s as well. The mom who was asking these questions had also indicated to me that she wouldn’t feel safe walking in her neighborhood. In that case, if she has transportation, she could drive to a safer neighborhood.

Titus Two Encouragement for a Young Mother – Part 1

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Recently a mom asked me some pertinent questions about life with young children. As stay-at-home-mommies, we want our days to be filled with joy, love, contentment, and fulfillment. Over and over others tell us that the years when our children are little go by quickly and that we should be treasuring each day. However, we may feel that those giving us counsel have long forgotten the fatigue of being up in the night with babies and sick children, the drudgery of mundane household tasks, and the loneliness without adult companionship. Here is specifically what was asked:

“I have just two children. They are both very young, and I am very tired. I would love for our family to keep growing, and I dream of having LOTS of children, but I am worried about how I’m going to find the energy to keep up with everyone. I am having a hard time with my energy levels now. I do take naps nearly everyday. I am naturally a night owl, but would LOVE to be an early riser. I really need to get up earlier than everyone to get everything done in the day. But it seems hopeless to be able to do so. Do young children really take so much energy out of you like people say? I don’t like that excuse for being tired, but the daily chores of changing two diapers, changing two outfits, feeding two extra people, brushing mine and their teeth, and finally finishing about the time a snack or lunch is needed seems like it zaps my energy. Being overwhelmed when you are tired only makes things harder. I need some encouragement from those who have had their children close together, and any advice on how to keep myself healthy while having children and managing them.” A young mom (used with permission)

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31). I believe this verse is a key to the energy a mom needs when she has babies, toddlers, and preschoolers. Her strength comes from the Lord so that she can go through each day with high-energy children but not be weary or faint. This does not negate getting adequate rest, which I will discuss in part 2 of this Mom’s Corner series. However, it highlights the importance our daily relationship with Jesus Christ has on the practical aspects of having enough vigor for two small children and then perhaps even more children in the future.

Our daily lives involve a spiritual battlefield. These battles are waged in our minds, and they involve our thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us: “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” I have a choice set before me. I can look at the tasks that fill my day in one of two ways: with a self focus or with gratitude. When I take my thoughts captive, I fill my mind with thankfulness to the Lord Jesus for my children and for the fact that I am able to stay home with them. I rejoice in the opportunity I have to influence my children for Christ every single day. I think about the provision He has made for me and view the responsibilities He has given me in my home with happiness.

I can also choose to allow negative thoughts to enslave my mind. Then I become discouraged thinking about being lonely, not liking to change diapers, wanting more sleep, or my lack of freedom. I am entangled by my mental decision that “it” is too hard, and I am too tired. Essentially I make myself discontent by choosing unhappiness, which causes me to feel like I have no energy because I don’t want to face that for which I am not pleased.

Practically speaking, I would encourage this mom to take her thoughts captive in this way: When it is teeth brushing time, praise Jesus for being home with the children to brush their teeth. Thank Him for the home He has provided and a husband who is supporting his family. Smile at the children as you brush their teeth. Tell them how much they are loved by you, how wonderful they are, how you delight in being their mommy, and how you are looking forward to seeing what the Lord Jesus is going to do with their lives. Sing to them.

Do the same when you are getting them dressed in the morning. Keep your thoughts on Jesus and His goodness to you while you are joyfully interacting with your children. Make your words pleasant and cheerful whether you really feel like it or not. In making this choice, I believe a mom is waiting on the Lord. She is following what she knows He wants her to do, and I think the result will be the energy she desires.

There will come times when a mom is emotionally feeling down and discouraged, perhaps because of hormones or from physically being tired. Then grab hold of the encouragement found in 2 Corinthians 12:9: “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” In the midst of discouragement or weariness, we can still choose what we will do with our thoughts, and I truly believe as we take them off of ourselves and put them on Jesus, we will, as Isaiah says, “mount up with wings as eagles.” In that process, Jesus gets all the glory because His grace was sufficient and His strength was made perfect in our weakness.

When a mom has only one or two small children, it is the time in her life to cultivate a moment-by-moment communication with Jesus. With few or no adult interactions during the day, she can continually be talking with the Lord Jesus Christ. This is a time to: memorize Scripture (Psalms 119:11), rejoice in the Lord always (Philippians 4:4), in everything give thanks (1 Thessalonians 5:18), not be anxious about anything (Philippians 4:6), be content (Philippians 4:11), do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me (Philippians 4:13). When my mind is filled with the Word, a desire to obey, and thoughts of Jesus, I am energized and joyful. It is during the moments when I start looking at myself that I become discouraged, and with the discouragement comes weariness.

Leading Our Children to Depend on Jesus

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With obvious frustration in her voice and near tears in her eyes, ten-year-old Mary came to me with her math. She had missed every one of her long-division problems. It was not because she didn’t know how to do them but rather because of careless multiplying or subtracting mistakes. At first, I felt myself being impatient with her interruption to what I was doing. However, the Spirit prompted my heart that this was one of those valuable, spiritually stretching moments for Mary.

I began sharing with Mary verses such as, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9). I encouraged her that the Lord Jesus was the One to turn to in her need and weakness. We talked about the goal of her math and how her failures showed her where she should be more careful and work harder. We discussed how her problems were actually more valuable to her than what came easily, with no effort involved. Finally, we prayed together. I suggested that the next time she started math, she come to me, and we would pray together.

The following day, a joyful Mary, with a beaming face, burst into the dining room announcing to me that she had gotten every division problem correct! What value could I place on the spiritual lesson that Mary was learning in relying upon and trusting Jesus Christ? However, I also know how easily I could have robbed Mary of this blessing.

The first way I might have kept her from a positive, spiritual experience would have been by responding to her out of my impatience, telling her to just try harder and be more careful. After all, she did know how to work the problems. My selfish focus is sin in my life. It also doesn’t allow my children the joy of a mom who is there on a moment-by-moment basis in their young lives, encouraging them to develop a dependence on Jesus as a response to the trials and difficulties that enter their lives.

The second way I may keep my children from opportunities for growing in their reliance on Jesus Christ is by removing the struggle itself. When the math is hard, I begin thinking about looking for another curriculum—something that teaches in a different way, that is easier, that has fewer problems to work. If I take away my child’s source of need, then there is no longer a reason for him to cry out to Jesus Christ for His strength in the situation. My child is able to make it through on his own.

What is more important for my child—immediate success in getting right answers on a math problem or learning to develop the habit of crying out to Jesus Christ for help in every circumstance? Rather than viewing the daily problems with my children as trials to be avoided, I can use them positively. Throughout my hours with my children, there will be multiple chances to point them to Jesus, to use Scripture to address a situation—to help them develop spiritual disciplines of relying on Jesus and obeying Him. The more I see difficulties in this light, the more I have to gain for my children in helping them to grow within themselves these habits. The goal would be that the inclination to look to Jesus would become so engrained in their lives that it is almost instinctive rather than something that is not done at all or is forced because it is the “right” thing to do.

I want to encourage us as mothers to invest in our children’s lives by helping them grow in their faith. Rather than removing children’s struggles, see the value in what they can learn through them in spite of the fact that they are children. Spiritually help them walk through their difficulties—even ones as small as missing all the division problems in the math lesson. Let them experience the joy of victory in Jesus Christ. Even if that victory doesn’t involve success in a particular academic struggle, it will be evident in the spiritual realm of the child’s relationship with Jesus Christ and dependence on Him. May we be mothers with an eternal focus.

The “Good” Part

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3,832.5 hours—does that sound like a large amount of time? It does to me, especially since they are hours out of my own life. 3,832.5 represents the cumulative total number of hours I have spent in my personal, early-morning time alone with the Lord Jesus over the course of our twenty-one years of homeschooling. That daily half hour has been spent in Bible reading and prayer. Looking back and evaluating those hours, I can see that I could have used that time in many other ways. However, I am convinced there is nothing I could have done that would have been any more helpful to my personal life, my relationships with my family, my homeschooling, or my ministry than to have had an emphasis on time with Jesus.

How does any relationship grow? By investing time in it. That is certainly the case in my spiritual life. If I don’t spend time with the Lord Jesus, how will my relationship with Jesus be nourished, and how will I spiritually mature? My salvation, about thirty years ago, was only the beginning of a walk with Christ. That foundation is to be built upon. Frequently, via e-mail or in person after a conference session, a mom will ask questions about depression, anger, or worry because I share my struggles with those problems. When I question her as to whether or not she is spending time in the Word, she will indicate that she isn’t but knows it would be good if she were doing so.

What I needed to learn concerning dealing with depression, anger, and fear was going to come first and foremost through my personal Bible reading time. “Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counselors” (Psalms 119:24). That is God’s means of communication with me. His Word is to be my counselor—my teacher. “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes” (Psalms 119:71). As I struggle with sin and other difficulties, I am attentive in the Word to specific verses from Jesus Christ for me. “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

Using the individual and personal verses that I discover during my daily Bible reading, I also developed a topical notebook of verses. These verses are ones that are helpful to me in specific areas such as contentment, joy, impatience, and right thinking. Then when I am having trouble, I can pull my notebook out, turn to the needed section, and read through the verses. I have sometimes found it necessary to read the verses out loud to help bring my thinking back to God’s truth, especially when I am dealing with depression.

I approach my Bible reading in two ways. Most of the time, I read one chapter every day. Then I review the chapter again looking for a specific verse that stands out to me as pertinent to my life and needs that day. I keep a notebook with my Bible so that I can copy the verse into the notebook. Then I write a few sentences about how I see the verse’s application to me very specifically—how I am failing, what needs to change, what it would mean to me. When I am reading my Bible in this way, I usually start in Matthew and work my way up to or through Revelation and then begin again. Sometimes the Spirit will move me from my normal path of Bible reading to a different section of Scripture for a particular season.

Every few years, I feel the desire to have the complete Biblical perspective again by reading straight through the Bible from start to end. Then I will spend fifteen minutes of my time alone with the Lord reading straight through the Bible. I can usually read about three chapters a day, which is the pace that is necessary to read the Bible in a year. When there are longer chapters, I don’t mange to read three chapters, but then there will be other days when the chapters are shorter, and I can read more.

The second fifteen minutes of my personal time with Jesus is spent in prayer. I will pray throughout the day, but it isn’t the same as concentrated, uninterrupted prayer time. It is a little like the difference between my discussions with Steve when the children are around asking questions and inserting their thoughts into our conversations versus our talks when we are alone walking. We can still talk despite the children’s involvement, but it isn’t as focused as it is when it is just Steve and me. My prayer time in the morning allows me to address the major areas I want to pray about, not just the ones that are pressing at the particular moment. There are seasons when I use a prayer notebook. Here is a Mom’s Corner where I have shared specifics about using a prayer notebook.

In James we are told that God gives grace to the humble. “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” (James 4:6). I know that I am extremely needy of God’s grace. If I won’t place time with Jesus Christ as a priority in my schedule, then in my pride, I am indicating that I can make it on my own without Him. I am turning my back on the grace that I desperately require in my life. The choice is set before me. What will my response be?

Being a Martha personality, I have seen that if I wait for an open time in my day—a convenient half hour or more to spend with the Lord—it simply doesn’t happen. I can stay busy all day with a hope in my heart to stop long enough to read my Bible and pray. However, the reality is that, like Martha, I keep busy doing what I think needs to be done, and I don’t choose that one good thing that Mary chose. “And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42). I have to plan my time with Jesus into my daily schedule and then be committed to it. My schedule is my helper to do those activities that are the most important to me.

“I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways. I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word” (Psalms 119:15-16). The truth of this should be obvious by my daily life. Am I spending private time in the Word and in prayer? May I encourage you to make this time with Jesus Christ a reality in your life? Rather than knowing that you should do it and that you would be benefited by it, why not simply begin to spend time with Him? I can promise you, your life will be changed!

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Scheduling for Priorities and Flexibility

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Praying about, planning, and putting together a new schedule for the school year is one of my summer priorities. Our 2006-2007 schedule had been committed to paper for a couple weeks when Steve and I began discussing the children’s request to have school time scheduled to practice their music together. The schedule already allowed for individual instrument practice, music theory, and harmony work – a fairly time-intensive amount of music in the school day. However, as we talked, it was apparent that at this point in our lives, music is a high priority because we are regularly doing a family-music session when we travel and speak. Having the children practicing together would be beneficial not only for them but also for the direction of our ministry.

Scheduling for Important Subjects

We decided to put their already-scheduled fifteen minutes a day of Spanish on hold for this year and cut their writing time from thirty to fifteen minutes. This would then free up thirty minutes in the school schedule for a sibling music practice. I returned to my colored squares and sticky tac for a second time to revise the schedule to reflect the changes Steve and I felt would be good for our children’s school year.

Not long after making the schedule change, Steve and I were talking on our daily, early morning walk. We discussed how great it was to take our once-a-week longer walk on the coolest morning of that hot, August week. We also realized that with school soon starting, our ability to go for a walk based on good weather would soon end. We would return to using Saturday to fit the two-hour walk into a non-school day. As I pondered that, the Lord prompted me to again be flexible with my schedule, using it to meet the particular needs of our family.

Willingness to Be Flexible in Scheduling

I found myself once again pulling my master schedule out of the cupboard for another round of revision. I could postpone my first one-on-one school meeting by forty-five minutes and move my “odds and ends” time from the afternoon into that slot. Then if it was a glorious morning and Steve was available for our long walk, I would available as well. “Odds and ends” time could be skipped for a walk, but my school meetings with each individual child are higher priorities – not bumped unless absolutely necessary.

My schedule is my tool. It is designed to help me accomplish what the Lord Jesus has called me to do. As I work with my schedule, I am setting it up, under Steve’s leadership, for the priorities that have been put in place in our family – for my time and for the children’s time as well. We take into consideration our children’s interests and their possible future needs. Thirteen-year-old Anna came to us and requested that we consider scheduling her science time to study gardening rather than the normal eighth-grade science book. As we prayed and evaluated that part of her school schedule, we decided if she had a gardening focus for science it would be helpful to her both now and in the future.

I can also use my schedule for built-in flexibility. In the case of the morning walks, I know that once a week I would like to start school later than I do on the other days. In order to accomplish that desire, I needed to place a low-priority activity in the morning that could be skipped for the walk when I choose to do so. Generally, I put the things that are least important for me to accomplish in the afternoon because I know that time is more easily interrupted than our morning school time is. However, for the sake of that walk and talking time with my husband, I made a change in our schedule to make it flexible, practical, and useable.

Another great facet of a schedule is that if the change I instituted does not work out well, I can go back to the way the schedule normally had been, or I can try something entirely different. Having the schedule committed to paper helps me make those changes. I am not trying to remember strictly from my mind the new pieces of the schedule.

This year, fourth-grade Mary will be reading her history, science, and health on her own. She has scheduled time that allows her to read, answer questions, plus take quizzes and tests. Steve and I wonder about her ability to accomplish this without my help. Her older siblings have done well in making the transition to more independent study in these subjects, but we aren’t so sure about Mary. As we discussed this situation, we decided to give her the opportunity to see if she could do it on her own. I made the schedule up this way. However, my schedule is flexible. If, as we begin the school year, it becomes apparent that Mary needs to read her history and science with me, I will rearrange her schedule and my schedule to accommodate that.

A schedule brings a great amount of order, productivity, direction, and peace to a homeschool home. It is my desire to share personal scheduling information with you that will help you envision the practical aspects of how a schedule can work in your family. Perhaps as you get a glimpse into my schedule discussions with Steve and how they affect my schedule making, you will be encouraged to tackle a schedule for your homeschool.

Our book, Managers of Their Homes has much more information on scheduling and includes the Scheduling Kit (colored squares and sticky tac) I mentioned. Daily, we receive testimonies about how this book is being used as a tool to transform families.

Individual Time with Our Children

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As homeschooling moms we sometimes wonder how we are to have individual time with a particular child. Our days are filled with “togetherness,” which is exactly what we have chosen with our homeschooling. Family interactions and fellowship are of vital importance and top priority in our homes. However, I also desire to build relationships with each child individually, and I see that these relationships are nurtured not only through family time, but also through one-on-one time. I want to share some ways I have found time to spend with a child in the midst of a busy, homeschooling family of ten.

For the bulk of my homeschool day, I accomplish school with one child at a time. I go over his math and English lessons, dictate spelling words, go through his current writing project, and whatever else he might need mom-teacher help concerning. Not only do we have concentrated school time, but this is also an opportunity to have individual time with a particular child. We sit side by side on the sofa, allowing me to put my arm around the child, pat his back, or rub his neck.

I like to have one child scheduled with me to be my meal helper. Just like school meetings with a child, meal-helper time has multiple purposes. Through it I am teaching my child to work, gaining the benefit of help, and experiencing the joy of fellowship with him. The minutes spent together in the kitchen are ones where we can talk with each other for an extended period of time on a regular basis.

Another vehicle for me to have individual time with a child has been to have one child scheduled to spend a half hour with me each afternoon. With our five younger children, that meant that each child had a half hour a week of personal time with me that wasn’t kitchen or school time. I would start on Monday with the oldest child, working to Friday afternoon for the youngest.

When running errands or grocery shopping, I make a point to invite a child to join me. If I rotate children, then on a regular basis each child has an outing with Mom that includes the opportunity for personal, private conversation between us.

For several years, I have taken my oldest daughter for a monthly date. We go out to eat and then to WalMart. To make sure this is an appointment that I am committed to remembering and keeping, I have set it for the first Monday of the month. During the two to three hours we are away from home alone together, we are able to talk and cultivate our relationship, which is important to both of us.

As my younger girls are approaching the age where I began the monthly dates with my older daughter, I am asking the Lord for creativity on how to do this with them as well. Perhaps I will have a monthly date with each of them on another week of the month. Maybe I will have them take turns on a date night.

Being involved in mentoring relationships with other Christian women, I realized the importance of my first-priority mentoring being with my own daughters. These were one-on-one friendships and studies with a focus on discipleship. To begin this with my daughter, when Sarah was about fourteen, I would meet with her for a personal spiritual study time twice a week in the evening after the younger children had gone to bed.

This evening meeting with my daughter was another opportunity for individual time with a child. It also allowed me to pursue my personal goals for our relationship. We used DoorPost’s Polished Cornerstones as a basis for our studies. Meeting in the evening after the younger children were in bed didn’t take me away from time with them. Even though it was set for later in the evening, it didn’t require much physical energy.

Right now, I have two girls whom I pray with and put to bed at night. They share a bedroom with their older sister. While this evening routine isn’t individual time with one child, it is different from our time together as a family. These two girls and I usually have several minutes to share with each other every night in addition to the knitting of hearts that takes place as we pray together.

Perhaps the best one-on-one attention I can give happens spontaneously when a child comes with a desire to talk. I know from experience that this is almost always when I am involved in a thought-demanding project. I also know from experience—and I think the children know as well—that I can appear to be listening but really not be at all. It is imperative that I value my relationship with that child more than accomplishing whatever it is that I am involved in doing.

I want to capture those relationship moments by stopping what I am doing, facing my child, looking intently at him, and paying close attention to what he is saying. Jesus tells us, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:21). When my treasure of time is invested in a child, then my heart is with him as well. That is also a key starting point for the keeping of our children’s hearts.

We can invest individually in our children’s lives through written communication as well. Almost two years ago, I began writing my children personal notes of encouragement—one child per week. While I am not talking face-to-face with that child, those written words of affirmation give him my undivided one-on-one attention via a medium he will have available to read over and over if he chooses to do so. I have an article on that subject.

As we look for ways to build a relationship with each of our children, we can ask the Lord Jesus to provide us with time and creativity. Then we implement what He shows us to do. We can purpose to have a mindset to take advantage of the spur-of-the-moment individual time that will occur in the midst of our days at home with our children. May we be mommies who nurture relationships with our children in family settings and also with each child individually.

Self Discipline in Our Lives and Our Children’s

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We regularly receive e-mails from homeschooling moms with difficulties who are asking for advice. A common thread frequently runs through these letters: the moms are lacking self-discipline. These moms face many tasks each day, but they are missing the self-discipline to carry them out. Therefore, they suffer, and perhaps their families as well, the consequences for whatever they choose not to accomplish. In addition, the moms experience the accompanying discouragement that goes with not doing what they want to do and know they should be doing. Sometimes in the e-mails, the moms may actually define lack of self-discipline as a root of their troubles, or it may simply be evident from the description of the struggles.

In Children’s Lives

Perhaps a significant factor with self-discipline problems stems from one’s childhood. Our culture has become ingrained with the philosophy of “let children be children.” This sounds great, but what is the long-term outcome? — adult children with little, if any, self-discipline. We certainly don’t want to rob a child of his childhood, but at the same time a parent’s job is to prepare that child for life. If all a child ever does is to play, he will not have acquired the needed skills and the self-discipline that would equip him to be successful in his adult years. This is quite evident in the lives of many moms who are dealing with self-discipline problems. This character, ability, or skill—whatever you want to call it—was not nurtured, encouraged, and grown in childhood.

About a year ago, when we did a survey to collect information for our Managers of Their Chores book, we were surprised by the results. Seventy percent of the moms who responded said they weren’t prepared for their roles as wives and mothers. They attributed that to not having had to do chores as a child. The thirty percent who indicated they were prepared for being wives and mothers said it was because of their parents’ persistence in giving them chores and making sure they were done. When one evaluates this in light of the problems homeschooling moms have with self-discipline, the connection is quite amazing. What would the outcome have been in these moms’ lives had their parents thought chores were a benefit for their children and been committed to helping them learn to handle that responsibility? I believe it is likely that the self-discipline needed to manage a home and homeschool would have been developed in these girls’ lives.

If we want to help avoid difficulties with self-discipline for our children when they become adults, we need to base parenting decisions on a goal of raising a self-disciplined adult. This means we will be giving our children age-appropriate responsibilities and helping them begin to develop the thought processes necessary for self-discipline. It starts from the very simple: requiring the child to get up in the morning when he is awakened plus communicating to the child why this is important.

The children will have chores assigned to them throughout the day. There will be times when they are expected to stop their play to do their chores. We will ask our children to do a thorough job in their chores. We want to challenge them to tasks that cause them to have to apply self-discipline. We will seek rather than avoid opportunities to develop self-discipline because we desire that our children grow up to be self-disciplined adults. These years, while our children are in our homes, provide us with occasions to help them in this area rather than letting them flounder in their adult years without the self-discipline they will so greatly need and want.

I am encouraged to be committed to applying the time and effort into our children’s chore system when I see benefit in it that goes beyond simply accomplishing what needs to be done in our home. When I realize that working toward the children’s diligence and self-sufficiency in their chores is helping them not only with practical skills for their adult lives, but also with the self-discipline they need in any area the Lord Jesus calls them to, then I can view this as a necessary part of our days.

In Our Lives

Does Scripture give us any direction concerning self-discipline? The word “self-discipline” isn’t even found in the King James Version of the Bible. However, I wonder if another word for self-discipline in a Christian’s life might not be “obedience.” Consider this. If I choose not to get up in the morning when I know I should get up, that is in reality disobedience to the Lord Jesus, Who is the director of my life.

I usually view this type of choice with seemingly minor implications—sleep in or get up—as a decision that, as an adult, I am free to independently make. While I might not be pleased with the outcome when I miss out on my morning time with the Lord Jesus, don’t get my exercise in, and start school late because I didn’t get up, I will simply sigh, blame it on a lack of self-discipline, and plan to do better tomorrow. Telling myself that I struggle with self-discipline sounds much better than to say that I am disobedient to the Lord Jesus.

Perhaps disobedience is born out of years of making excuses as to why we can’t do whatever it might be that the Lord has called us to do—whether it is going to bed at a reasonable time, getting up with the alarm clock, accomplishing school, eating a healthy diet, or keeping the house clean. Because we haven’t thought of not having self-discipline as being disobedient, we can easily justify continuing down the paths we have been walking most comfortably during our lives.

Paul encourages us in the area of self-discipline. He says, “And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway” (1 Corinthians 9:25-27). The word “temperate” in this verse means “an admonishing or calling to soundness of mind, or to self-control” (Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words). The word “subjection” means “to make a slave and to treat as a slave, i.e., with severity, subject to stern and rigid discipline” (Strong’s Greek & Hebrew Dictionary). In these verses and with these particular words, I see Paul living a life with an eternal purpose that causes him to choose self-control and self-discipline—obedience to the Lord Jesus—and implying we should do the same.

In 2 Timothy 1:7 Paul tells us, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” The Greek word for “sound mind” in this verse is the same Greek word translated “temperate” in 1 Corinthians 9:25. We have been given a spirit of self-control—self-discipline, if you will.

Just as Paul was determined to be temperate and bring his body into subjection to serve the eternal purposes set before him, we should be as well. Everything we do in our homes with our families—from our personal time with Jesus to our homeschooling, relationships, and homemaking—is part of the Lord Jesus’ direction for our lives. We decide whether we will be obedient or not. For example, there are morning tasks that must be accomplished before school is started each day. For some the temptation is to go to the computer to check e-mail, blogs, or message boards, or engage in some other unnecessary task—for just a minute. However, that minute easily turns into fifteen minutes or half an hour, ending up robbing us of needed homeschooling time.

The Spirit has a way of prompting, nudging, and not allowing us to be content in a life void of self-discipline and obedience. For the mom who struggles with self-discipline, it becomes a choice in her life. Will she follow the dictates of her flesh, or will she follow the promptings of the Spirit? Will she be obedient or disobedient? We can be sure that it is the Spirit Who puts the need and desire in her heart to read the Bible and pray. This probably requires her to obediently get out of bed in the morning when the alarm clock goes off so that she doesn’t miss her personal time alone with Jesus. I believe if we evaluate most, if not all, of the areas requiring self-discipline in our lives, we would agree that they are the promptings and directings of the Spirit, and they require our obedience.

Often the jobs in our lives for which we must be obedient are the ones that are truly the desires of our hearts and cause us to feel the most peaceful, content, and happy when we are accomplishing them. At the same time, because they also may be more difficult, more time consuming, less natural, and more labor intensive, we find ourselves taking the easy way out by avoiding them. We create, by our own doing or maybe not doing, the environment that can make us feel like failures.

In our book Managers of Their Chores, we discuss the benefits of chores to our children, their biblical basis, and what is needed in Mom’s life (and Dad’s) to facilitate the process. If the Lord Jesus is putting concern in your heart over your lack of self-discipline or you simply want motivation and help with a chore system to encourage your children to learn self-discipline and obedience, Managers of Their Chores is a starting place.

There is so much said in Scripture about obedience. Therein lay our self-discipline problems. We haven’t realized that self-discipline really isn’t the true issue at all, but rather it is about obedience to what the Lord Jesus is calling us to do.

May I encourage each of us to evaluate areas of our lives in which we don’t have the self-discipline and obedience we know we should have. Then may we take it to the Lord Jesus, confessing it as sin, and asking for His grace and strength to change and grow. Our example is the starting place for our children. As the Lord Jesus is working in our lives, we can begin helping our children down the path of self-discipline and obedience in a purposeful manner. We can give them responsibilities and chores and communicate to them why these are important in their lives now and in the future. We reap what we sow. Will we sow seeds that will reap a harvest of self-discipline in our children’s lives and in our own lives?