Category Archives: Marriage

Guaranteed Cure for Too Busy

Do you struggle with time to:

  • Read your Bible daily in the morning
  • Have Family Bible time
  • Spend time with your wife
  • Spend time with your children
  • Increase the value of your vocational skills
  • Exercise

Someone screams, “The house is on fire. Get out!” Whatever you were too busy doing before, now means nothing. You have a new priority that produces action. Brother, your problem isn’t time but misplaced priorities. 

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof” (Matthew 6:33-34).

Steve

Man to Man

I’m confident that not one of you dads is reading weekly articles on being a great Christian mom. Even if you were interested in the subject, there is a good reason for you not to read them. Wouldn’t you be comparing your wife to what was being shared? In doing that, might it cause you to focus on her shortcomings and then be discontent with her? I believe the answers would be “yes” to those questions.  

Dad, if you have asked your wife to preview Seriously articles, please reconsider. Might you be creating in your wife unhealthy comparisons/expectations? Everyone is busy these days, and some with productive and edifying endeavors. If Seriously is edifying, embrace it, if not, why encumbereth the ground (take up room in your inbox)?  

(Moms, do you really believe reading these is good for your heart and your marriage?)  

“And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand” (Matthew 12:25). 

Steve

Whose Side Are You On?

Likely you have heard someone in a disagreement exclaim, “Just whose side are you on?” where loyalty was being questioned. Maybe those have been your words or at least your thoughts. Maybe (hopefully not), your wife sided with someone other than you. Hurts doesn’t it? Loyalty is something that goes deep. 

Picture how your wife may feel when someone influences the children to want something  harmful to them–the children she carried for 9 months, bore, and then nurtured as they grew. Think how she deeply desires to see God’s best in their lives. But what if it is you, the man she has vowed before God to follow, who has instilled, negative or even harmful influences in the children’s lives? She wants to be loyal to you, but her heart cries out and fears for what she sees in your children. You might ask “How can I be the problem? I love the children too.” Two words Dad—your appetites and affections — in other words your example.

Regularly we hear from moms whose husbands are leading the children astray. 

“And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted up his eyes and looked, and, behold, there stood a man over against him with his sword drawn in his hand: and “Joshua went unto him, and said unto him, Art thou for us, or for our adversaries” (Joshua 5:13-14).

Steve

Have You Told Them?

Are you saved? Do you know that you know (1 John 2:3) you are saved and will spend eternity with the Lord Jesus? I hope so. Does your family know you are a child of the King? Is it assumed, or have you told them your salvation experience? When is the last time you told them in detail about when you were saved? Do they know your account so well they can tell it back to you? Okay, why should that matter?

Next week we celebrate Christmas. What makes Christmas worthy of great celebration is that God sent His Son Jesus, God in Man, to this world to redeem us. What makes it real is when Dad and Mom tell the children how Jesus Christ changed them—what their life was before Christ and following. May there be no doubt in the children’s minds that Jesus Christ is real and changes lives.    

“We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done” (Psalms 78:4).

Steve

My Favorite Question

For those who have worked for someone who consistently made poor decisions, you understand how demoralizing poor decisions can be for those who must live with the results. Frankly, quite often Teri and my hearts go out to wives whose husbands would resemble that employer just mentioned. At least with a job, you can look for another one, but that isn’t God’s plan for marriage. (God hates divorce. Malachi 2:16)

Listening to dads share decisions they made and the corresponding fruit they are harvesting often prompts me to ask my favorite question. “So Brother, how’s that working for you?”

It is good to step back and consider the fruit resulting from a previous decision and perhaps re-evaluate. “But wisdom is justified of all her children” (Luke 7:35). Over time the fruit will prove the decision.

Evaluate those situations. How did you get there? What might have been your motives in making the decision? Were you just trying to “make the pain go away” or earnestly seeking the Lord’s will, no matter what the personal cost?

“Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen” (Hebrews 13:21).

Steve

First Car

I am confident most of you remember the first car you owned. I don’t even have a photo of mine, but I can see that 57 Chevy clearly in my mind. Back then, I knew nothing about cars, but for some crazy reason, I got it into my head to change out the 6 cylinder automatic for a V8 and 4 speed. It was a great learning opportunity as I poured time, energy, and money into that car.

Having been junked, crushed, melted, and the metal reused, that car is likely a washing machine or something else today. “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal” (Matthew 6:19). It is so easy to have our hearts pulled to the things that are not eternal.

The Lord has a command for us. “But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal” (Matthew 6:20). Most of our work is simply wood, hay, and stubble, but our wives and children are eternal investments worthy of pouring everything we have into.

I’m so blessed to be able to encourage dads who are serious and committed to their families. I am sure your wife is thankful for a husband like you. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:21).

Steve

Purpose

We each have a need for purpose, which is no surprise since God created us that way. What is your experience with people who know that they know their purpose in Christ and live it? Don’t their days have meaning and direction? Aren’t they energized by it?

If the Lord’s will isn’t our purpose in life, mankind turns to the world. Therefore, may we live and breathe to do the Lord’s will and bring Him glory. “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him” (Colossians 3:17).

The Lord bought us with the most precious substance, His blood. We are His. He is to be the focus and very purpose of our lives. “For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:20). Jesus embodies this with the Father.

To focus on His will gives us meaning and direction. He is our leader and the full Authority directing us (BTW, we are commanded to live under the laws of the land). He will use our every minute according to His good and perfect will if we will let Him (read choose it).

“Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” (Hebrews 13:20-21).

Steve

What’s Your Name?

If your name described you, what would it be?

  • Head-in-the-Sand Randy: Other things have his interest not his family. 
  • Fun-Loving Freddy: Life’s a lark. There are more fun things to do than there is time.
  • Daring Dan: No risk is too great as long as there is a huge hit of dopamine.
  • Entertainment-Loving Ed: Work’s a drag so why bother. 
  • Angry Arnold: Everything makes him mad. 
  • Lazy Larry: “Hey, where’s the remote?”
  • Victim Victor: If it goes wrong, it wasn’t his fault. 
  • Christian: A follower of the Lord Jesus Christ.

“And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him” (Colossians 3:17).

Steve

The Lights Are On All Night

Teri and I were on our early morning walk and as we crested the hill, I could see the bright lights focused on the US Penitentiary a couple of miles off in the distance. Those lights are on so some homesick inmate making an escape attempt might be visible and convinced to stay longer. 

My heart was heavy as I thought of the men locked up behind bars. At some past moment, each inmate made a life-changing decision that cost him a portion of his life. Likely there was something he felt was more important than his future.

No doubt, all rational inmates wish they could have a retake on that moment. Yet when it happened, how many thought about the future cost?  (Also, the “moment” can be defined as more than an instant, but a sum of prior decisions.)

The reality is that each of us face decisions every day that can have far reaching consequences. What good habits do we nurture and bad habits diminish? Are we daily feeding ourself and our children the Word of God in family Bible time? Are you daily spending time with your wife and children? Are we men of gratefulness and kindness?

Answers to questions such as these define our “moment” and our family’s futures. Brothers, regrets hurt and go on hurting. I know and so do you. Might we do the right thing each and every day?

“Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13).

Steve

My Heart Convicted Me

We were blessed to go to Colorado again this year for family time away. We love being together and experiencing the wonder of God’s creation. One cloudless afternoon, I was overwhelmed with the grandeur and majesty of God’s creation as we walked along the ridge of a mountain. At that moment, the Lord convicted me.

I was awed by the glorious beauty of the creation, but was I breathless over the One Who created it? In reality, the magnificent beauty I was beholding was but rubbish compared to the glory of my God. I desire that my Lord would evoke such deep wonder and emotions at the thought of Him that nothing, absolutely nothing, would compare.

In our flesh, it is easy for us to worship the creation over the Creator. Might we be guilty in a similar way of esteeming other things more highly than the Lord?

Things such as:
Money and what  it buys?
Houses?
Vehicles?
Pleasure?
Entertainment?

“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge. There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard” (Psalms 19:1-3).

Steve