It is common today for Christian men to want an accountability partner to help them improve in some area(s). They look for someone they trust and who will tell them “like it is.” Beyond improvement, some might want an accountability partner to help in conquering a sin that holds them in bondage. They see accountability as the key to killing a hidden sin. Given the right goals and people involved, accountability can be a good thing, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17).
However, I’m encouraging you to NEVER ask your wife to be an accountability partner. She is your helpmeet so that might make it seem like an accountability partner would be acting as a helpmeet. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18.) But she is also to submit to you. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). In an accountability role, that person is to critically watch and evaluate you so as to confront and challenge you as needed. That is not submission. It is authority and control. Better to find a strong brother in Christ whom you are willing to put in that role in your life rather than turning biblical, god given roles upside down.
The worst of the worst is when a dad struggling with lust and/or p**n asks his wife to hold him accountable. That information from husband to wife has got to be the supreme injury to a wife’s heart – a terrible burden for her to bear. It is almost guaranteed to put jealousy/distrust in her from then on. Dad must deal with it, but to heap that on his wife, is a tortuous shredding of her heart. Brothers, go to your pastor, elder, or someone like that, locally, who can get in your face. Be determined to have victory, but don’t go to your wife. That is a guaranteed train wreck.
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16).