This sentence should be familiar to all: “We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.” Two hundred and thirty years ago, our country’s founding fathers penned these famous words in the Declaration of Independence. That statement was their vision for the future of the United States of America. The path was set. Men would stain that path with their blood as they walked down it through the years to preserve those rights.

What can we learn from the vision that our Founding Fathers gave our country? I present two possibilities for consideration. First, that a vision is powerful and shapes those for whom it is intended. Second, that we need to be very careful what vision is presented because we will reap what we have sown.

I think few would argue with the fact that our country owns the vision of freedom and pursuit of happiness. The Founding Fathers’ words have had the power to impact the direction of a nation for over two hundred years.

What if the vision had been simply the pursuit of the Creator, Jesus Christ, and living for Him? How different our country would be today. “For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him” (Colossians 1:16). Instead of a pleasure-seeking, me-first, don’t-impede-my-freedom society, we would have one that is much closer to what the Bible presents as the way life should be.

The Creator, Who is acknowledged by our Founding Fathers to be the Source of these rights and blessings, is now being thrown out of every aspect of our nation. “Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:4). Even in churches, we hear the cry of “freedom in Christ” as the emphasis instead of servants of Christ. The focus is entertaining the “saints” rather than reaching a lost and dying world. “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13).

Dads, where are you leading your family? What is the roadmap on which you base your decisions? Some might say they base their family vision on the Bible and biblical principles. That is good, but it would be beneficial to condense your biblical vision down to something that is concise and understandable by the family. When you board an airplane and take your seat, they will soon announce the city where the plane is headed. We need to do that for our family so they have a clear picture of where they are going.

I have found a written vision statement to be important in staying on course. Times can be hectic with circumstances changing frequently. Having my vision for my family written down is much like having a roadmap with the route highlighted on it. Then when I find a road closed, we can detour around it and still keep our destination in sight. There have been times when I have inadvertently strayed from the path I have announced. Soon however, there were some in the family bringing the change to my attention and asking if we have a new direction. It wasn’t too difficult to realize that we were straying off course. Having the family in tune with the direction is a great help in following the right path.

A written vision for the family is good, but we must also make sure that the decisions that are being made are consistent with that vision. If decisions are contrary to Dad’s written vision, that is an indication that Dad’s true vision for the family is actually different from what is written down. Sadly, we encounter families with a great written or spoken vision, but the implemented vision is leading the family toward disaster. The family hears Dad say one thing, but in practice the opposite is true.

Either we will make choices that are consistent with a stated vision or contrary to it. If we are consistently making decisions contrary to our vision, the family sees us as a hypocrite. For a dad to lead a family in hypocrisy is dangerous to the souls of his children. R.A. Torrey had a comment on that which is worth including here.

“One of the most noted infidels of modern times claimed that it was the inconsistent living of his own father, who was a Baptist preacher, that first led him into infidelity. Whether his picture of his father’s character is true or not, or whether to defend his own infidelity he was guilty of gross misrepresentation of his own father, as I have heard it alleged that he was, I cannot say, but this I do know, that beyond a question in many instances the inconsistencies of professedly Christian parents have led their children into utter infidelity. Misrepresentation of Christianity by its professed disciples in their teachings, and especially in their lives, has done more to manufacture infidels than all the writings and speeches that all the Paines and Voltaires and Ingersolls ever gave to the world” (Torrey, R. A.. Talks to men about the Bible and the Christ of the Bible. [New York: F. H. Revell Co., 1904], Page 115).

Do we have a vision for our families that is consistent with the Bible, and are we living it out? We only have twenty years or so to disciple our children, and we must make those years count. A vision directs us as we disciple our children.

A word of caution is in order. The Holy Spirit is our guide as we follow the Lord Jesus in obedience to His Word. A vision isn’t a set of rules that we religiously follow. It is just an overview of the direction we are headed. It isn’t about following rules, standards, and principles, but following Jesus. He will lead us in harmony with His Word.

A family vision is powerful. Dads, what sort of vision have you given your family? Are you leading them consistently with it?

Father’s Day is rapidly coming upon us and will likely be celebrated in almost every home that receives these Corners. Without exception, each year my family has endeavored to make Father’s Day a very special day for me. From morning to bedtime, they lavish their gratitude and love on me through their attention, words, cards, gifts, and actions. As I reflect on their kindness, I am humbled by my unworthiness of their love.

Which of us really deserves the love and respect our family shows us? I am grateful my family loves and accepts me. When I look at my failures, weaknesses, and character flaws, I praise God for the respect my family gives me even though I don’t deserve it. What should my attitude be toward the shortcomings in my life? Should I just accept them saying that is the way I am or persevere in changing by God’s grace?

Recently, Teri and I were discussing the children’s school. We talked about some of the issues of this year and their impact on next year’s school. As we discussed things, I could see that I had let Teri down by not fully supporting her in the managing of our homeschool. Finally, when the truth settled in, I confessed to her, “Honey, I can see that my heart has not been turned toward the children’s schoolwork as it should have been, will you forgive me?” I don’t like to let Teri down, but I could see it was true.

It isn’t as if I don’t care about the children’s schoolwork; I do. However, I have undermined Teri’s success at times by letting other things take the priority in my heart that school should have. As this situation unfolded, I had to chuckle in one respect, since just a day or so earlier I had a brother in Christ write and ask how I managed my priorities. My answer was that we are the ones setting our priorities and need to make decisions based on those priorities. Before I knew it, I had a prime example of my failure to do just that in this area of our homeschooling. I have repented and will endeavor by God’s grace to make better decisions in relation to our homeschooling as we go forward.

We can easily deceive ourselves into thinking we are living by our priorities. For example, most reading this article would likely have these as their top five priorities:
1. Relationship with God
2. Relationship with wife
3. Relationship with children
4. Vocation
5. Ministry
What happens, though, when we aren’t aware that our decisions are out of line with our priorities?

In Ezekiel 34, God is speaking to shepherds about bad decisions and actions in their lives. They have put themselves first while neglecting their flocks. “And the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! should not the shepherds feed the flocks?” (Ezekiel 34:1-2) I don’t believe those shepherds felt they were bad shepherds. It is likely that they thought they were doing a pretty good job. Then Ezekiel came and told them they were bad shepherds. Isn’t that the way it is for us too? It often takes someone else to help us come to an awareness that something is wrong in our lives.

Our difficulty with seeing our own sin is one reason that Jesus gave the church an outline in Matthew 18 for how to resolve a problem with another brother. Even when confronted, we often won’t believe a person if he tells us there is an area in our lives that needs to change. This is where a godly, respected brother in Christ can help—someone we trust. If that brother comes alongside, puts an arm on my shoulder and says, “I’ve noticed that you don’t seem to be. . .” will I listen to him? Am I open to what he says even if it is hard for me to accept?

Unfortunately, most don’t have a brother who is willing to exhort on a personal level, so what is he to do? In 2 Corinthians 13:5, Paul says for us to, “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?” Examining myself is beneficial for my family’s sake. May we have an attitude that we desire to know our faults and failures so we can keep them on our hearts and before the Lord Jesus for His grace. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I find that to be a good opportunity to ask the Father to examine my heart. Some nights He reveals something, and other times I go right back to sleep.

Next to the Father, my family knows me best. May I have the type of heart that is always open to hearing about my failures and weaknesses from my wife and children. If that is my attitude, then I believe my children will tend toward an attitude of being willing to humbly listen to me when I need to share their faults with them.

If we don’t receive feedback on the decisions that we make and concerning our “walk,” we can expect a similar attitude in our children. In John 8:41a Jesus said, “Ye do the deeds of your father.” Then in 8:44, “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” Not only do our children do the things we do, but they will also lust or desire after the things we desire. (For more on the power of appetites and how they affect our children refer to Preparing Sons to Provide for a Single-Income Family and Keeping Our Children’s Hearts).

Dads, we must own the fact that we have tremendous influence in the lives of our children. Being a father carries with it eternal responsibilities in our children’s lives. Being a godly father is far, far, far more important than putting food on the table—it involves our example and how we live out Jesus Christ in our homes. Do our lives portray that of a disciple of Jesus Christ? No one is perfect, but do our families see dads who hunger for Jesus and are growing closer in their spiritual walks?

If we say we love Jesus but our lives betray our real priorities, then our children will likely follow our bad example. We receive heartbreaking e-mails from moms whose husbands profess to be Christians, yet, one could not prove it by their decisions. These moms are not whining or grumbling, but they are seeking encouragement concerning how to counteract the dad’s bad influence in the lives of their children. The moms see the wrong directions their children are heading and with all their hearts, they want to try to change that path. With Dad’s authority goes responsibility, and it is an extremely difficult job at best, to counteract a dad’s bad influence in the children’s lives. As we see the undesirable fruit in the lives of our children, it will cause us to repent and change, but if only it wasn’t necessary to get to that point. It often takes the heartbreak of Dad seeing his mistakes to bring about the grief and repentance necessary to change his course. That is why it is such a good thing when we will first ask the Lord to examine us, and then our wives and children.

As Father’s Day approaches, may it be a time of celebration—including celebrating the love, forgiveness, and grace of the Father as He enables us for the job before us. I feel so inadequate to raise my children, but I know the One who is more than able to strengthen and direct me. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Certainly, in my weakness, He is strong. If it takes chastening to change my heart, it is done out of His great love to turn me back toward Him. “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent” (Revelation 3:19). Dads, it is a difficult job, but the blessings are beyond measure. Happy Fathers Day! May God richly bless each of you as you seek Him with your whole heart!

There is a store in Kansas City that I greatly enjoy walking around in while looking at everything they sell. I don’t go there unless I have a “need” because it is forty-five minutes from home. In addition, when I’m in that store I think I like looking around too much. Frankly, I know I’m not alone, in that most men reading this Corner would also want to spend time in my favorite tool store.

It is amazing how men love tools. There is good reason for this too because the right tool can save enormous amounts of time and effort on a project plus improving the quality of the outcome. Perhaps every man’s appetite for tools begins when, as a child, he falls in love with his first hammer. A little boy sees strong Daddy pounding away with a hammer, and of course, he wants to be just like his Daddy.

If men are quick to appreciate and value their tools, are they as quick to recognize their wives’ need of domestic tools? Homeschooling moms have a tremendous amount of work to do in a given day, and having the right tools may mean the difference between success or failure in keeping up. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Am I honoring my wife as the weaker vessel and seeing that she has the tools to do the jobs that she needs to do?

There will be different seasons for a family when one tool is far more important than another tool. A family with four children under the age of six years old may have an indispensable need for a quality dishwasher compared to a family with two children ages ten and twelve. Not that a family with older children can’t use a dishwasher, but I expect it would be more critical for that young mommy trying to maintain a home with very young ones and no help. We visited a family last week with older daughters in the home. My children were amazed when three dish dryers had a difficult time keeping up with one daughter who was a lightning-fast dish washer. Cleanup was completed in record time, and the girls had wonderful fellowship in the process. An automatic dishwasher would be far less important to that family as compared to other kitchen appliances such as are used for canning and making bread. Each family is different and will have various needs.

Teri received her first clothes washer and dryer as a college graduation present from her parents. That set lasted for almost twenty years, and as our family has grown those appliances have become even more important since they process several loads of clothes every day. After that original set, the next washer and dryer, although purchased new, gave us nothing but headaches. Just a couple of years later, I was faced with a difficult decision. Teri’s need for reliable clothes washing won out over my desire not to get rid of a significant financial investment that should have lasted many years longer. We vote by our decisions. If I say I value all my wife does and want to help her in keeping up, I must demonstrate that by spending money for tools to help her.

Our family has been making fresh whole-wheat bread for over sixteen years. We knew it could be a difficult transition from soft, store-bought white bread to whole wheat bread because of the finicky palettes of our children. Therefore, I wanted to make it as easy as possible by having whole-wheat bread that was not heavy. That meant a mill that would grind the wheat berries very fine and a mixer that was capable of kneading the bread well. Teri was busy enough with homeschooling and one new little one, and I didn’t want to add that to her plate so I researched the mill and mixer to purchase plus taking on the bread baking responsibility until Sarah was old enough to make bread. I know some valiant souls who hand grind the flour and knead the bread, but I didn’t want to invest the time to do that so we purchased the mill and the mixer. I have not regretted for a minute what we spent on those tools. I’m pleased to report that my children’s finicky palettes have also learned to appreciate the taste of Sarah’s wonderful bread.

As our family grew, it became necessary to cook in increasing quantities. One does not have to spend a fortune on cookware to enable Mama to make larger batches to meet the current demand plus more that can be frozen and reheated later. We cook the filling for burritos every three or four months and freeze it so it is available for our Sunday noon meal. (This is the link to our family recipe.) Over time we have purchased increasingly bigger pots in which to make our burrito filling.

Dirt-cheap, eclectic kitchen knives were what we got by using for the first thirty years of our marriage. Only recently when we began eating lots of vegetables did I give Teri a nicer set of knives for Mother’s Day. They have been an appreciated improvement but nothing we absolutely required like some of the other tools I feel Teri has needed. Again, this will vary from family to family.

Our family has always struggled with vacuum cleaners. It isn’t that we are hard on them, but we do use them frequently. I have had to adjust my expectations to the fact that a vacuum just never seems to last very long and that there is no one perfect vacuum that does bare floors and carpet well. The other problem we encountered almost yearly is what do you do when the vacuum is in the shop being repaired? We finally settled on having two vacuums, a canister for bare floors and an upright for carpet.

In September while I was working out in our basement, I started feeling very light-headed and laid down on the floor until I felt better. I resumed my workout, but again I became light-headed. I decided to quit exercising, heading upstairs to grab a bite of breakfast figuring that was what was needed. After eating a piece of bread, I still wasn’t feeling well so I sat down in the living room for a few minutes. When that didn’t help, I went to my desk in the basement to see if I could get some work done in spite of how I felt.

After walking down the stairs, I felt horrible. While sitting in my office, the room started “spinning.” Even as a child, I did not appreciate those merry-go-round rides that gave this sort of experience. I soon opted for the floor until the dizziness passed. Unfortunately, the floor didn’t help, and I found that the only way to stop the spinning was to lie perfectly still with my eyes closed.

About this time, one of the children discovered his dad in a position he was not accustomed to seeing him. Talking was uncomfortable, but I managed to tell him what was happening and that I was “fine” as long as I didn’t move or open my eyes. I didn’t like how I felt, to put it mildly, but I had perfect peace and even a sense of praise for Jesus while I laid there.

It was not long before Teri arrived and had no little concern regarding the situation. I told her I would be okay but needed to stay where I was for a time. After about an hour and still not improving, I realized that I might be in this condition for quite awhile. Considering the main bathroom was upstairs at the opposite end of the house, I felt that I should move up there since it would be a better place to weather this unpleasant experience.

I told Teri what I intended to do and asked her to get me “something” because I knew I was in for–well let’s say a significant and prolonged stomach cleansing experience. She fulfilled my request, and I slowly worked myself to my knees. I don’t want to belabor this description, but with my eyes closed and only being able to crawl one “step” at a time, it took an hour to move upstairs to the main bathroom where Teri had put a small mattress down for me.

Once there, I spent the next twenty-four hours on the bathroom floor with my eyes closed. The following day, I was able to move enough to lean on Teri as she helped me slow step by slow step into bed. Over the next few days, my balance improved a bit each day. My family had quickly grown used to seeing me steady myself with a hand on the wall as I walked down the hallway. It was humbling to need assistance just to get around.

The doctor encouraged me to have an MRI, and thankfully that turned out negative. He had no medical explanation for what happened. However, in my heart, I believe I know the cause. I share this so that God may use it in your lives as I would rather not have to admit it.

I feel that God used my vertigo experience to chasten me. I had made a vow at one time to the Lord not to do something. I know vows are very serious, and that is why I made it. There was something I had felt the Lord impressing me not to do, but since it wasn’t a sin, or something spoken against in Scripture, I was resistant not to do it. Finally, I felt God’s leading so strongly, I decided to make a vow to be certain I wouldn’t do it any more.

As you might guess, the day before the vertigo attack, I “slipped.” In a moment of weakness, I had broken my vow. Many will think this is crazy, but I would encourage us that if we are God’s children, He does chasten. I strongly believe that I have experienced His chastening several times since being a Christian, and I would be thrilled if He never had to chasten me again.

“And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not” (Hebrews 12:5-7)?

Are we children of God? Have we placed our faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and confessed Him (Romans 10:9-10)? If so, we can expect chastening for disobedience. Thankfully, God doesn’t chasten every time we disobey. “Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance” (Romans 2:4)? Praise God, He most often forbears. However, when necessary He chastens.

Hebrews 12:8 goes on to say that if someone hasn’t been chastened, he isn’t a true child of God. If we confess that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior, we can expect chastening at times. However, there is good fruit that will be harvested if we will learn from it. “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby” (Hebrews 12:11). What is sad, though, is if a dad is being chastened but doesn’t recognize his chastening. He is missing out on the opportunity to grow through it. The consequences are there without the blessing of growth that should follow the chastening. Even worse, since Dad isn’t learning from his wrong choices, he is going to be chastened again in the future.

To add more pain to all of this, when Dad is chastened, the whole family generally suffers in some way too. For example, while I was sick, my family was quite concerned for me. My chastening caused them unnecessary anxiety. When God uses a man’s finances to discipline him, the whole family experiences the consequences with him.

Over the last couple of months, I have spoken with two individuals at the homeless mission where we minister once a month. These men both shared stories with me that I believe illustrate my point.

One man had broken his neck several months earlier and was paralyzed for eight weeks. He looked me in the eyes declaring that he knew God had used it to chasten him, and he was glad. He told me that he had not been living like the Lord wanted him to live and that God finally had said “Enough!”

Another man explained how he had good Christian parents (we hear that very often from the homeless men), and in spite of his salvation, he chose to live disobediently. One night after leaving a bar, he knelt down on the sidewalk to tie his shoe. That is the last thing he remembers. A drunk driver hit him, and he spent weeks in the hospital recovering. He, too, was thankful that God had chastened him.

When there is time in my Preparing Sons workshop, I will tell another example from my life of the Lord chastening me financially while we were living in Washington. I wish I would learn more quickly, but I praise God that eventually I catch on to what He is trying to tell me.

I know that everything bad that happens is not chastening, and I am not implying that it is. There are the storms of life that come our way that have nothing to do with God’s discipline. These other storms of hardship He can use for our good as well. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). For example, we have found that just prior to printing a new book or going to a conference, it seems like the sky caves in on us. I’m not one to look for the devil under every rock, but those times definitely affirm our greatest struggle and our need to rest in Jesus. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12).

May we be sure to examine ourselves when any trouble does come our way. I’m not saying we are to go about life worrying that everything negative that happens is God beating on us, and we have no peace or joy because we are always anxious. However, it is a good thing to have our hearts turned toward the Lord and ask Him to examine us in case there is something that He is chastening us over. It is a Scriptural reality that the Lord chastens His children.

God’s primary purpose in chastening us appears to be regarding relationship issues and holiness (Hebrews 12:10,14). Certainly the two primary relationships each dad has is with the Lord and with his wife. Do I have a carnal fleshly focus, or am I seeking Jesus with all my heart? How am I treating my wife? Is it with respect, love, and gentleness as a weaker vessel, or do I take advantage of her, piling on heavy burdens, not listening to her when she shares her struggles?

Dads, be warned. God will most definitely chasten the man who is insensitive toward his wife’s pleas. If we are in trouble and feel like our prayers are not heard, then may the words of 1 Peter 3:7 ring in our ears, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

“And it came to pass in process of time, that the king of Egypt died: and the children of Israel sighed by reason of the bondage, and they cried, and their cry came up unto God by reason of the bondage” (Exodus 2:23). May we never deceive ourselves. God hears the cries of those who are oppressed. We are not at liberty to share details, but the stories we regularly and often hear from many Christian moms would probably shock you. Heartbroken and desperate for direction, these moms are crying out for help. Their words reveal that they are married to selfish, thoughtless, unloving, and uncaring husbands. From what I read, these husbands might even be highly respected in the churches they attend. God sees, and He hears the cries of those in need, including hurting wives. He is not slack to chasten. His eye sees everything we do and think. Since Dad is the head of the home, Dad is the one whom God holds accountable for everything in the home.

May each of us ask God to examine us and show us our sin. May we love our wives as ourselves. “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself” (Ephesians 5:28). As homeschooling dads, we owe our wives our unending gratitude and love. May we bless them and not curse them. May we be the spiritual leaders that God calls us to be and that our wives deserve. Lord Jesus, give us Your grace daily, and if needed, Lord, discipline us for the sake of our wives and children. Amen.

A new year and new beginnings–at least that is the way most people feel. Whatever mistakes we have made last year are behind us. Well, it would be great if that were true, but I have found the consequences of my mistakes tend to tag along with me for awhile. It reminds me of the report cards I received when I was in school. They reflected how well I had done in the previous term. Once that report card was issued, it was a matter of history, yet it would have some bearing as I went forward.

I wonder what it would be like if the Lord Jesus gave each of us a report card for how we are doing. There would be different categories on it and a grade next to each. I would love grades that reflect “well done,” but in my heart I feel there would be a significant number of disappointing grades. His grades wouldn’t be false “on the curve” grades comparing us to others but rather grades of how we are doing compared to His expectations. As I ponder that thought, I have mixed emotions but a real desire in my heart to know what my results would be. I believe it would be both humbling and beneficial. “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith” (Romans 12:3).

If everyone reading this Corner received a report card from the Lord, it is very likely that some would receive a blank card. By “blank” I mean a card that somehow indicated that that person wasn’t a child of God and therefore the report card would not come from Jesus. If there was to be a card, it would have to come from Satan. That is a horrible thought, but then again, it would be wonderful to find that out now as opposed to judgment day.

If only each person had a visible indication of his relationship with Jesus such as the ID badges I’ve seen children wear to school. It would act as a clear sign as to whether he had been purchased by the Holy Lamb of God and would be with Him forever. Walking up to someone, you would instantly know whether he was a believer or not. Sitting in church, you could tell whether the person next to you was saved, regardless of whether he was a founding father of the church.

Yes, it would be helpful for us to be able to identify people that way, but better yet, it would assist the person who did not have the ID badge to know where he was going to spend eternity. I think the saddest words in the Bible are, “ . . . I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity” (Matthew 7:23). Jesus said those words not to God-haters, but to those who were zealous for Him. The people referred to in this verse had done mighty things, but that wasn’t enough. “Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?” (Matthew 7:22) They were doing all of these great things in the name of Jesus. They may even have loved Him. Yet, He said they were to depart from Him.

Based on the e-mails we receive, there likely will be many homeschooling, professing Christian dads that will be sadly disappointed on judgment day. They may be in church every Sunday, and prayer meeting on Wednesday, yet Jesus is not their Savior. They may be religious and know how to outwardly walk the walk and talk the talk, but they have never repented of their sin and been saved. They may have struggled for years in not feeling close to Jesus, thinking something is missing, but finally decided it is that way for everyone.

Could that be you? Are you willing to examine yourself before God? With an open heart before Jesus, ask Him to reveal your true standing before Him. Will it be in righteousness or in sin? “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates” (2 Corinthians 13:5). I am judging no one, but like Paul, I am encouraging each of us to examine himself before God.

First John is an excellent book for self-examination. There are many verses that act as a test as to whether we have genuine salvation. I will list a number of verses and then a general comment about each one. Please, may we prayerfully read each one and ask the Lord to examine our hearts and the fruit of our walk with Him. Is there fruit? What kind of fruit?

“If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth” (1 John 1:6). Do we confess to have fellowship with Jesus (being saved) and our life has darkness in it? Do we have secret sin that we allow? Are we truly having daily fellowship with Jesus?

“And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments” (1 John 2:3). In the Greek “keep” means to observe and give heed to. Are Jesus’ commands extremely important to us so that we strive to follow what He commands us? Verse five reiterates this point again just two verses later. “But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.” Are we applying God’s Word to our lives? We can’t apply it unless we are reading it. Are we in His Word daily and still hungering to be in it more?

“He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him” (1 John 2:10). Do we love our brothers and sisters in Christ? Do we enjoy being with other believers?

“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (1 John 2:15). Do we love the world? A great way to tell if we love the world is by evaluating how we spend our time. Is it on selfish, worldly pursuits or as God directs?

“And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure” (1 John 3:3). Is our hope in Christ Jesus? If so, will we not strive to be pure as Jesus is pure? Do we watch impure things or think impure thoughts without guilt, confession, and seeking Jesus to cleanse us?

“Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God” (1 John 3:9). Like father like son. If we are born of the Father, regenerated, we will not be able to practice sin and be content with it. Our hearts will grieve and cry out against us as we sin. Can a saved man continue in some of the vileness available on the Internet and not be torn up inside over it and seek help?

“Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God” (1 John 4:15). Do we identify with Jesus verbally? How many people have we told recently that Jesus is our Lord and Savior? If we are ashamed to declare Jesus to others, we can be sure He will not declare us to the Father (Mark 8:38). Romans 10:9-10 indicates that our confession of Jesus is a necessary evidence of our salvation.

There are many more verses that I could have gone through. I pray that each of us will take time to read and meditate on 1 John. May we ask the Lord to evaluate us? Are we His child or Satan’s child? It is no wonder that so many moms are struggling with the conduct of their husbands. It should be no surprise when a lost man acts like a lost man. What is unacceptable and not to be condoned is when a saved man acts like a lost man.

If you examine yourself and wonder if you might be lost, then do something about it. Be sure of Whom you will spend eternity with. “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God” (1 John 5:13). God’s Word tells us that we can know for sure.

If you want to be saved, turn in your Bible to Exodus chapter 20. Read and re-read His commandments. Reflect on how you have broken them and deserve hell. Let it sink into a deep awareness of sin against a righteous and holy God. Then please click this link: http://www.titus2.com/plan-of-salvation.htm and go through the steps listed. Get your Bible out, and read the verses to yourself out loud. Don’t go on until each verse is clearly received in your heart. Before asking Jesus to save you, ask yourself, are you willing to follow Him? This isn’t about “fire insurance” but a relationship with the God of the universe. Do you desire that? In asking Him to die in your place, are you willing to obey Him? Then after praying, tell people and don’t stop telling people. If you have trusted Jesus, would you tell us by replying to this e-mail? We will pray for you and encourage you.

“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation” (Romans 10:9-10).

Two make-believe men who love God greatly are talking. One says to the other, “He can’t be. It is impossible. Don’t you know where He was born?”

“Of course I do,” the other man answers. “Everyone knows He was born in Galilee. However, not a man has ever lived who has done what this Man has done. He has given sight to the blind, hearing to the deaf, and raised the dead back to life. I met Lazarus myself and was at his burial.”

Years later two different fictitious men are talking. These two also love God. “I don’t believe it, and I will never believe it. He was responsible for my brother and his wife being dragged from their home and later killed.”

The other man says, “It is true he was responsible for many terrible things, and he has changed. They say Jesus Himself appeared to him. Now, instead of persecuting those who believe in Jesus, he preaches Jesus fearlessly to men who now want to kill him, too.”

Sadly, many people rejected Jesus because they thought they knew where He was born. Instead of evaluating the proofs, or fruits, Jesus gave them, they were debating His origin.

Saul was ruthless in his zeal of persecuting believers (Acts 9:1) until he met Jesus on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:4). Then he was a changed man, and he was eventually used as a vehicle of change in the lives of countless others. If someone were to reject Paul because of His past, that person would have to throw out most of the New Testament.

I have heard of some preachers who had a less-than-pure life until they encountered Jesus. Jesus then saved them and is now using them for His glory. I was saved in 1975, and up until that point my life was a typically lost person. Before salvation, even though I believed in God, I lived like the world. The same may be true for some who read these Corners. “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Christians, of all people, should understand that the past is not to be the sole reason to reject something. We should prove all things. “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world” (1 John 4:1-3).

As we test something, we look to its fruit, Scripture, and the Lord Jesus. What Jesus tells us through the Holy Spirit will not contradict Scripture. It would be easy if Scripture had an index and every word in the world was listed so all we had to do was look up the word and then we would be told what to do regarding it. However, our walk is all about our relationship with Jesus. He wants us asking Him about each aspect of our lives, and the answer we hear will be consistent with what we read in the Bible.

Every year at this time we are asked if we celebrate Christmas and why or why not. Many of those who read the Corners will have differing opinions as to whether Christians should celebrate Christmas, and I am not trying to start a debate. So for those who are convinced that the Lord Jesus has told you not to celebrate Christmas, please stop reading this. I’m not trying to persuade you or be a stumbling block in any way. In fact, I respect the position that many have in not wanting to celebrate Christmas. Some have gotten to that position in ways I don’t understand, but that is between them and the Lord. I don’t judge or condemn them for having a conviction and living by it. This Corner is for those who have either asked or wondered what our stand is on Christmas and our justification for it. Let each one be convinced in his own heart what Jesus is telling him to do.

New Testament believers are not commanded to celebrate Jesus’ birth nor His resurrection. Our family celebrates both. We are not commanded to celebrate birthdays either, and yet our family chooses to do that also. We are consistent in that. I can’t imagine us celebrating a family member’s birthday and not celebrating the birth of One Whom our lives revolve around. Jesus is so much more important than any member of the family in that He makes our lives meaningful and abundant. “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly” (John 10:10b). If we are going to celebrate a birth, it will be His, and a joyous one it is.

If you were to take a poll of the people you know to see how many are aware of the origin of Christmas, most would have no idea what you are talking about, and more would not care. In our country, most are still aware that this is the time Jesus’ birth is celebrated. They know that there are two primary holidays for the Christian church. One celebrates Jesus’ birth and the other His rising from the dead to glory. Non-Christians expect Christians to celebrate Christmas and Resurrection Sunday. In many ways, they think it odd if a Christian distances himself from the holiday identified with his God.

We are told to redeem the time. “Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time” (Colossians 4:5). We have found that at Christmas time most people are more open to talking about Jesus than at other times of the year. In addition, we love having a special time of caroling to our neighbors. The children make tasty treats that we give out when we carol. Last year, one family was so touched by our caroling that they wrote a letter to the newspaper editor telling how special our stop at their home was. We love our neighbors, and we love Jesus. What a wonderful time to share the love of Jesus with others.

Another confirming reason we celebrate Christmas involves the giving of presents. Our children have learned to take delight in giving gifts to others. They will spend much time praying and discussing what they can give to each other. Usually, they will pair up so their money goes further to purchase a nicer gift. If I found that the children were focused on what they were going to get, that would concern me and be a reason to reevaluate celebrating Christmas. However, it is consistent with our goals that the children learn to be joyful givers.

The fact that we are not told to celebrate Jesus’ birth is not a problem for me as there are many things we do in life that we aren’t commanded to do in Scripture. However, the doing of something that isn’t specifically commanded in Scripture should not violate other teachings in Scripture. For example, we aren’t told to read our Bible every day, yet I do and encourage everyone in my family to as well. Scripture is clear that it is a good thing to read God’s Word. “The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes” (Psalms 19:8). “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (Psalms 119:105). “And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15).

God’s sending of His Son Jesus to Earth to atone for our sin is the very definition of love, and I find that something to celebrate and rejoice in. “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10).

We celebrate Jesus’ birth at Christmastime even though the date is incorrect. I’m okay with that because we tell our children that December 25th isn’t the exact date that Jesus was born. We are careful not to mix any untruth with how we celebrate. That is why we have nothing to do with Santa Claus and stockings. He is a lie. He doesn’t exist, and we have purposed to only speak truth to our children. If we were including Santa Claus, then I feel there would be clear reason not to celebrate Christmas.

The family who recently wrote asking for feedback about Christmas was receiving pressure from well-meaning friends that they shouldn’t celebrate Christmas because of its origins. It’s ironic, though, because we also receive e-mails from people who say they are pressured by well-meaning friends to participate in Halloween because it (they say) has good origins. Test all things, evaluate the fruit. One only has to look at the present-day fruits to see that Halloween is evil and there is nothing to redeem with it. One does not need to read too much Scripture to see that Halloween is to be rejected. “Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:21-22).

May each family get a word from Jesus and confirm it from His Word.

Occasionally we will receive an e-mail from an upset Corner’s reader protesting something we have written. Lately, a few have gone on to emphasize their disagreement by presenting us with the question, “Where’s the grace?” It is very important to Teri and me that what we write and speak is consistent with Scripture and presented in a loving manner. Therefore, we must seriously consider the points raised by those who disagree with us.

From reading the defense of their dissenting positions, I can now see that foundational to the question, “Where’s the grace?” is the sister statement, “I’m free in Christ.” The reason this is an important Dad’s Corner topic is that if we want to raise children who love the Lord Jesus Christ with all their hearts, souls, and minds throughout their lives, we must see how dangerous the “Where’s the grace?” and “I’m free in Christ!” attitudes are.

Jesus prepared His disciples for service by telling them how they would be treated by the world. The picture He painted for them was not “pretty.” Serving Jesus would be difficult and risky. After reading Matthew 10:16-23, one might wonder, “Who would ever want to be a disciple of Jesus?” He does not promise freedom, fun, recreation, and entertainment to those who will follow Him. However, if children are raised with the philosophy of “I’m free in Christ” and “Where’s the grace?” they are going to expect a cushy Christian life. They will not be prepared for the difficulties that will come, and when they encounter them, they will become disillusioned, wanting out. We must prepare our children as Jesus prepared His disciples if we desire for them to stay the course.

When I was reading 2 Peter recently, some verses “leaped” off the page at me regarding “Where’s the grace?” and freedom in Christ. Peter is talking about false teachers who will bring in heresies and will deceive those who follow their pernicious, destructive, evil ways. We would think that surely the believers won’t be deceived into receiving what these false teachers have to share. Surely Christians will see that the message they are sharing is harmful.

However, Peter says that these false teachers will be able to convince believers that what they have to say is from God. 2 Peter 2:3 tells us how this deception occurs. “And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.” The false teachers beguile the flock by appealing to their covetousness. That is a trade secret of the deceiver. That is what makes a temptation tempting. It appeals to what we desire.

We read about the first part of the bait in 2 Peter 2:18: “For when they speak great swelling words of vanity, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through much wantonness, those that were clean escaped from them who live in error.” They dangle a message before their prey that appeals to the flesh. Many will be snagged because the flesh is powerful in wanting to fulfill its appetites. Giving in to temptation is still no excuse if we have been saved, since we have the Spirit on which to rely. “And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit” (Galatians 5:23-24). “For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit” (Romans 8:5).

The second part of the bait is found in 2 Peter 2:19. I believe this one is even more powerful, as it appeals to the flesh, but in a way Christians will embrace. I say they will embrace it because this has been the rallying cry of so many who use it as an excuse to walk the line of sin. “While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage” (2 Peter 2:19). Liberty is the opiate of the masses. “Freedom in Christ!” is the cry of those who want to justify all sorts of things Jesus never told them to do.

I wrote two Corners specifically about our freedom in Christ and division in the body of Christ. Without going back through them, the essence is that we are free in Christ from the bondage of sin. We are not free to do whatever we want to do. We have been bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus, and we are not our own to do as we please. Our freedom from sin is to enable us to serve one another in love, not to serve the selfish desires of our flesh. “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13). Misuse of liberty is the false message that is often being preached.

Of course, only a few would use their freedom as a cloak of outright sin. We are all too “good” of Christians for that. However, from my observations and personal experience, freedom is usually a ruse for walking the line of sin. We want to get as close to that line as we can but not step over it. We don’t want anyone to be able to say that we are bad Christians, and at the same time, we want to have as much fun in life as we think the unsaved do.

To help us have the mind of Christ, let’s look at a few of Jesus’ statements and evaluate them. Jesus said unto His disciples, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). That is an incredibly strong statement to a new believer. Where’s the freedom, fun, entertainment, and recreation? Where’s the grace?

Jesus and the disciples were in a boat in the midst of a terrible storm. It was so bad that the disciples were afraid for their lives. Several of them had previously made their living by fishing and would have been experienced sailors. Yet, they were still greatly afraid. This tells me that it must have been a terrible storm. “And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?” (Matthew 8:25-26). Some might wonder about Jesus’ words, “Where’s the compassion? Where’s the grace?”

Jesus was telling His disciples that He was going to Jerusalem, would suffer many things, and would be killed. Peter was brokenhearted about losing the One he cared for most in all the world. Jesus turned toward Peter and said, “Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men” (Matthew 16:23). Jesus gave one of His strongest rebukes to a man who loved Him and was concerned for Him. Some might say of Jesus’ response, “Where’s the understanding? Where’s the grace?”

Is it any wonder that the United States is no longer a Christian nation? Many seem more interested in pursuing their liberty, fun, and recreation than their Lord Jesus. It appears they want to walk as close to the line of sin as they can get, thinking that is where all the fun is. That may be true if someone is carnally minded, but it is not true if we have the mind of Christ. “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:1-2).

Can you imagine someone telling Peter he was too hard on those he was encouraging to be joyful during their trials? “Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

Paul did not live a life of easy discipleship. Look at the life he lived. “Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft. Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness” (2 Corinthians 11:23-27). Of all people, Paul could have cried out to Jesus, “WHERE’S THE GRACE? What about my freedom?” Yet, he didn’t.

Jesus said to crucify the flesh, not cater to it. Jesus did not say, “Come and I will give you a life of leisure and recreation.” The life Jesus called the disciples to was a difficult life.

The answer to “Where’s the grace?” is an easy one. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9). As Jesus hung on the cross for our sins, He could have asked the Father, “Where’s the grace?” He had done no wrong, and yet He paid the price for our sin. But the Father looked at His Son dying on the cross, and said to all sinners who will repent and believe, “Here’s My grace.”

Dads, may we reject the message of false teachers who promote their style of liberty. Our freedom is from sin so we can serve our risen Savior. For those who have professed faith in Jesus, we are His bond servants. At best, we are unprofitable servants called to follow Him. Grace, true grace, led to a cross, and if we follow Jesus, can we expect anything less? Let us be men, and raise sons and daughters who will be true disciples of Jesus with Scriptural expectations of what life in Christ is.

“So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do” (Luke 17:9-10). “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full” (John 15:11).