Category Archives: Dad’s Corner

Practical Projects for our Children – Part 1

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It is very popular to send children away for all sorts of good learning opportunities these days. Let’s say you choose to send your son to an organization that guaranteed to teach him how to share Jesus effectively with others. How long do you think the course would be? What would they teach your son? How would they teach him?

In Luke 10, we read about Jesus sending seventy of His disciples out two by two. He gave them the preparation He thought was necessary before they went on their way. They were about to learn some important lessons that were key but couldn’t have been learned any other way. It would have been quite an adventure.

The disciples had not been long in their training before their “practicum” was beginning. They had no degrees or certificates of any sort. In addition, they had no finances to fall back upon in case of need. They simply had one other disciple and prayer. Today, people would think such training practices were unrealistic.

I expect the disciples themselves had some apprehension regarding such an assignment with the preparation they had been given. They went out having had some verbal instruction and the opportunity to watch Jesus as He ministered. In warning, Jesus even told them about the possible persecution they could face. “But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues” (Matthew 10:17). The disciples had not experienced Pentecost yet, and therefore, they were not the bold men of God that they would later become. I have little doubt that their enthusiasm for their journey was tempered somewhat by very real concerns as they set out.

What was the outcome of the disciples’ mission? In Luke 10:17, we are told the disciples returned with joy. “And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the devils are subject unto us through thy name.” They were excited about what the Lord had done through them. Likely, no amount of teaching could have produced in them these results.

What did Jesus do? He used a project to work mightily in their lives. It was acceptable if the disciples weren’t comfortable, because Jesus knew this was a project that would be good for them. It wasn’t beyond their abilities, because He had prepared them as much as they needed to be prepared beforehand.

Projects are an important part of raising children-disciples, but far too often they are neglected by parents. The results of projects can be impressive. I remember someone once complimenting me on how smart I must be to have trained my sons with the skills that they had acquired. I chuckled and said, “You must not know me very well. It doesn’t take much smarts to hold a carrot on a string out in front of a horse you want to guide along.” What I meant was that I don’t have to know more than my boys. I just have to be able to motivate and challenge them. The Lord has shown me that this can primarily be done by using projects.

Projects are wonderful vehicles to spur children on to learn all sorts of things. Real-life projects, which fulfill a need we might have around the home, cement what a child has learned. They also become a stimulus for wanting to learn more.

One perceived hindrance to projects might be the child’s reluctance to tackle something he has not done before. Likely, the disciples felt that way also. However, that is where the carrot and the string come in. Part of making projects successful is to learn how to motivate and challenge our children. We want to spur them on to giving it their best without discouraging them. Our relationship needs to be such that the child trusts us and wants to please us. Therefore, he will give it his best. He needs to believe that I am counting on him and wouldn’t ask him to do something he couldn’t do. (A side note: See how important it is to keep our children’s hearts? We want to motivate through influence and not have to resort to authority.)

At times a child might say, “Dad, I don’t know how to do that.” Or, “It sounds impossible to me.” In that case he will hear me say, “That’s okay. We will just give you a little longer to do it. I know you can do it.” It isn’t harsh or unrealistic at all to tell him he still has to do it. I’m raising my sons to be men. That is what a man might expect in his work day – challenges that he has never faced before and needs to conquer. It isn’t harsh, because I know the child can do what I ask him to do. However, what I ask is just beyond his immediate knowledge and current experience. This is how he learns to face challenges head on, depend on the Lord Jesus, and figure out how to do it. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). Can our children (and we) apply the truth of that verse to their daily lives?

Some dads may be reluctant to use projects because they are concerned about the finances involved. It is true that there are projects that can cost you something, but many might not cost a dime. Begin first with projects that involve no expense. As your confidence builds, you can add projects that do. Even that shouldn’t be a problem for most families because doing a project yourself almost always is more cost effective than hiring someone else. It is all a matter of priorities. How will you choose to spend your money?

I was shocked when I recently spoke with a dad who spends three thousand dollars a YEAR so his son can play on a hockey team. I couldn’t imagine that for our family, yet they do it every year. For me, I would want to invest the funds the Lord has entrusted to us in training our children with worthwhile skills that will pay dividends throughout their lives.

One example, of many I could share, is that just last week John (14) was able to bless a neighbor who needed a very complex repair done. It was 100 degrees the afternoon John helped our neighbor. Even though the project was spread on the ground under a tree, it was still blistering. John wanted to bless the neighbor and had the peace of mind that he could do what needed to be done. John worked over two hours and finally was successful. The result was there were three very blessed people, in addition to a problem that was resolved. The neighbor, who had a need, was blessed in having his repair done with no expense to him. John was blessed the most of all because of the joy he received in serving someone. Plus, he learned some new things in the process. Finally, I was blessed and thrilled. I saw John’s love of helping others and his dependence on Christ to direct him when he was beyond his experience level.

Several years ago, I was speaking with a dad at a homeschool conference who was concerned about his fourteen-year-old son. The two of them didn’t have a very good relationship. The son was bored. He had no purpose in life. I challenged the dad to find some meaningful projects for his son. I suggested he look for something that would be of benefit in some way and from which his son would learn in the process. The dad thought for a minute and said how the family was in dire need of reliable transportation. He had just bought another car, but it needed significant repair work before they could count on it. Unfortunately, the dad had neither the experience nor the time to do the repairs. He wondered if that was a project his son might do even though the son also had almost no mechanical experience.

I encouraged the dad to pray about it. To me it seemed like an opportunity from the Lord. Off that dad went, and to my surprise, I met him again a year later at a mini-conference we were giving. He came up, introduced himself, and reminded me of our previous conversation. I was excited to learn that he had motivated his son to accept the car-repair project. The son learned what he needed to know, took the engine apart, and put it back together again. The Lord used a fourteen-year-old son to provide the family with transportation they needed so badly. It was a bountiful blessing to the family. The dad went on to say how good it had been for their relationship as well.

Projects can be so beneficial for our children if we dads will select projects that will stretch them. We don’t need to pay others to do what God has enabled us fathers to do for our children. There is much to be gained if we will step up and own the challenge of training our children to the best of our ability, as enabled by the Lord Jesus. Frankly, we would all agree that if Jesus is enabling us, we can do all that He is calling us to do.

Projects will be the theme of several future Dad’s Corners. Be praying and see what projects God may put on your heart for your children.

An Act of Maturity

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John, my third-born son who is fourteen, has had a summer project of building a shed for the family. The construction is according to building code, and therefore, he is receiving experience such as one would get if building a small house. It has been a great opportunity for him to have hands-on building experience, which he loves.

The first part of the project was for him to design the shed and draw it out. That took quite a while as he is normally fairly busy. The plans were approved by the city building inspector, and the construction has been going on for a while now. All of “us guys” have worked together helping him, but it is understood that it is his project. He has done quite well, but there is one tough area that he will still need to mature in: planning. (He gave me permission to share this with you.)

When it comes to hands-on working, he does great. However, planning is key to tackling a job and achieving the results for which one hopes. Drawing the building plans was a great first step. However, had I not encouraged John to do that, he would not have taken the time. Planning takes time and delays activity.

In a similar way, after having the Managers of Their Homes scheduling book out for six years, we have observed one primary indication of those who will be successful in scheduling – they spend the necessary time planning and developing their schedules. The ones who get the book, hastily read it (at best), and launch into the scheduling kit are the ones who will likely struggle or fail in getting a good schedule up and running. Planning is where the real work is done, on our knees and working through the details before the first attempted “building” of a schedule.

That is why there is something important to learn about the benefit of planning and then implementing according to the plan. I would frequently ask John before a shed workday what we were to do and how it was to be done. Usually, he had not thought it out, sought counsel, or done the research needed. As a result, there were a number of things that had to be done a second or third time. Now, it wasn’t wasted time. It still was profitable because it emphasized the need to plan, which is part of John’s education as well. That is why I say that when having children learn through projects, “Always try to manage the risk.” (By the way, that is why we try to use screws every chance we can as they make it much easier to take things apart when something didn’t go quite right.)

John is finding out in his shed project that if he doesn’t plan, the results can be less than desired. Planning is difficult to do because there is no visible progress being made during the planning. It takes maturity and the realization that time spent on an activity will be more productive if there is a good plan in place.

God had a plan from eternity past for Jesus to die on the cross for our sins, and He followed the plan (Ephesians 3:11). Planning is good, as long as our plan is based on God’s direction for our lives. God directs us to raise our children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). We are told in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 to train them. That is why most of us have taken the responsibility for teaching our children at home.

We would likely all agree that planning is important. This is not because we are worried or anxious about the outcome (although that may be some people’s motivation for planning), but because we want to be good stewards and come as close to the target as possible.

In owning the responsibility for educating and discipling our children, how do we intend to accomplish it without a plan? That is why school planning is very important to Teri and me. Frankly, it took a few years for this type of planning to become important to me. I’m on board now, and it is a vital part of our school year. The purpose of this Corner is to encourage you to begin school-year planning with your wife as well.

Realize that when we do something for the first time, it will likely feel awkward. That is okay. We need to push past those feelings and do what needs to be done. Think about it. We aren’t talking about a shed; we are discussing how to best use the years we have with our children – their future is at stake. How can we not plan?

Ask your wife to spend some time reflecting on the past school year for each child. Ask her to write down what has gone well and what hasn’t, questions that she needs answers on, and any other school decisions that need to be made. For years Teri has typed up and given this kind of information to me so I can spend some time praying and thinking about it prior to our planning day. It has been wonderful.

Then schedule a planning day. We have been able to leave the house for a day so that we won’t be distracted while we discuss the children. Some may not be able to do that, but it still can be very productive to do school planning at home. With just a little creativity, the children can be occupied so that you can spend some quality time with your wife planning.

For quite a few years, Teri and I would take a Saturday and use a meeting room where I used to work for a school planning day. With eight children, it would generally take most of the day to get through the school decisions. It was such a good use of time, though. There were even a few years when we would go to a bed and breakfast and have our planning day with a night away. Some years we had more time than others, but the end result is that God always blessed the fruit of those days.

As you undertake to plan your school year, remember, it is the Lord Jesus Who determines the steps. We need to pray about every aspect of what we discuss. It isn’t a matter of coming up with our own “wise” decisions but seeking to make a plan and choices that are consistent with God’s direction for our lives. “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him” (James 1:5).

What Flag is Being Flown Over Your Home?

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Isn’t it amazing how there can be so much division within the body of Christ over how one practically lives out his faith. Yet, “Is Christ divided? was Paul crucified for you? or were ye baptized in the name of Paul?” (1 Corinthians 1:13). Where does the division come from? How unbelievers laugh and mock over the bickering that can go on between those professing to have faith in Jesus Christ.

Freedom in Christ is the banner being waved about so much these days. If the father waves it, he can expect his children to be twirling their flags. Let’s spend one more Corner looking at this issue and its affect on the Christian family and our witness.

Only the Lord Jesus really knows, but I can’t help but wonder if chanting “Freedom in Christ” isn’t responsible for much of the non-doctrinal division among Christians. In your church, there is likely a polarization of two groups—same doctrine, but lifestyle choices are quite different.

Scripture gives us a great example of someone whose focus was on his freedom and rights. I expect most believers have read Luke 15:11-32 about the prodigal son. It begins with the youngest son asking his father for his inheritance. “Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me”(Luke 15:12). The request is odd since the father was alive, and one would not normally receive the inheritance until after the person died. However, out of his love for his son, the father chose to give the son what he asked for and would eventually be his anyway.

The father didn’t legally have to give it to him, but he did. We are told that he divided unto his sons, his living. He actually took his livelihood and divided it up. It would have reduced his income potential while he was alive, yet he divided it between them.

It would have been no surprise to the father that his youngest son would squander the money. He had lived with him and seen the rash, selfish choices he had made and would expect him to spend his inheritance on the desires of the flesh. The fact that the son demanded the inheritance shows a lack of respect and love for the father. The son was only interested in what he wanted and cared little for his father.

“And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living” (Luke 15:13). The son left his father and basically partied until he had no more money. He lived for the flesh and had the best time he could have while he had money. Notice how he left his father to pursue living for the flesh. Decisions which cater to the flesh will provide varying degrees of separation from the Father.

Think about the marriage relationship for a moment. Would it be pleasant to be married to someone who is always thinking about his or her rights and what he or she should be able to do? Isn’t that why many marriages are struggling though? Referring to Ephesians 5:22-29, we see that a good marriage is built upon the husband deferring to the wife and looking to her needs while the wife is looking to the husband and his needs. That is why marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. We are not to concentrate on our rights, but we are to concentrate on loving and serving the other. “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32).

In the same way that focusing on our rights and freedom in marriage will separate hearts in that relationship, it will also distance us in our walk with Christ. The prodigal son left his father in pursuit of his rights and freedom.

Through the years I’ve listened carefully to Christians or read e-mails from them explaining the basis for their decisions. I would encourage you to pay close attention when you hear a believer giving his reasons for a choice he is making. Even more important, may we examine our own justification in making a decision. Most often I hear something like, “I thought about it and decided . . .” A close second might be, “I’m not aware of anywhere in the Bible that we are told not to do it.” Can you hear the “freedom in Christ” overtones in these reasons?

I’m sad to say that seldom have I ever heard, “I’ve searched the Bible for His direction, earnestly prayed and I believe Jesus is telling me to . . .” This is what you will likely hear from someone who understands that he is a servant of Jesus Christ. As Jesus was our example in His relationship with the Father, a servant is concerned about His Master’s direction.

“He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him” (John 14:21). The servant of Christ who delights in obeying Jesus will have a close relationship with Jesus. The word “manifest” means to make known, to appear, and to be seen openly. If our focus is on what Jesus directs us to do, Jesus tells us that He will manifest Himself to us. Do you see how this is all about making Jesus real to our family versus a religion? It only takes one generation to lose faith. If we are looking for our rights, we may have a great time in this world, but it will lead to a shallow, distant walk with Jesus. I believe that is why many lose their children to the world. The children don’t see anything real in the parent’s faith.

Paul knew that all things that weren’t sinful were permissible for him, but they were not edifying—they didn’t lead to a closer walk with Jesus. “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not” (1 Corinthians 10:23). “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13). Obedience to Jesus’ direction (through His Word and via the Spirit) will edify in drawing us closer to Jesus.

Our society is absolutely consumed in the pursuit of pleasure and entertainment. Sadly, much of the “church” is following suit. Of course the “church” doesn’t follow after the things that are overtly sinful, because you can’t be a good Christian and do that. However, by pushing their freedom in Christ, they will go for anything that is not labeled sinful by Scripture instead of living as servants of the Lord Jesus and delighting in following Him.

Jesus will direct every aspect of our lives if we will but ask Him. Then as He gives us direction, we must obey Him (John 14:21). As we obey, He will tell us more and lead us in a way pleasing to Him that will give glory to the Father.

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Whose Mouth Is it?

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Mary was having such discomfort from her teeth that she was only eating soft food due to the new palate separator that had recently been “installed” across the roof of her mouth. The orthodontist told us that it would not hurt her at all, so we decided she ought to be taken back to have it checked.

The orthodontist affirmed that the appliance appeared normal. One option offered was to remove the palate separator for a while and then reinstall it. The other option would be to stop turning it for a week and then slow down the daily adjustments from a full turn to a half turn. Teri thought about the choices. She said she preferred the break from turning and trying to adjust it more slowly than to go through the removal and reinstallation of the appliance.

To Teri’s surprise, the orthodontist turned to Mary and asked her what she would like to do. Mary said she wanted to do whatever her mommy thought best. Compounding Teri’s surprise, the orthodontist continued, “But, Mary, it is your mouth. What do you want to do?” However, she never paused long enough for Mary’s answer nor for Teri to help her understand Biblical authority or even the laws of the state regarding the care of a minor. She went on to agree with leaving the appliance in and adjusting it more slowly.

What the orthodontist said was true. It is Mary’s mouth. Most adults would quickly realize, though, how absurd it would be to expect an eight-year-old child to have the wisdom necessary to make this kind of decision. Even Mary knew she was ill-prepared to make the choice on her own, and that is why she deferred to her mommy.

Imagine for a minute what it would be like in your home if instead of teaching your young children to listen to your direction and instruction, you encouraged them that they were their own person. They should make their own decisions as long as they abide by the law. Think about the havoc it would wreck on their lives and your home.

The children would stay up until all hours of the night doing whatever they wanted to do. Feeding them would be horrid because they would only want to eat what sounded good to them. Every child would want something different to eat.

Forget about being able to educate the children. They would not want to learn anything if it required effort. Their lives would revolve around whatever their flesh wanted, since they would have the freedom to make all their own law-abiding decisions. However, they would lack the wisdom to make the right decision. Anytime they were challenged concerning a poor decision, the response would be, “Wait a minute. I’m free to make any choice I want to make. That’s what you have taught me. You can’t tell me it’s wrong. I’m not breaking any law.”

I wonder if the above scenario isn’t similar to a popular teaching among Christians, even conservative Christians. I believe this teaching has hindered the effectiveness of Christians in reaching a lost and dying world. What could that be? It is the promotion of our freedom in Christ. How could such a wonderful truth be so disastrous to the church? Why discuss something like this in an article where the underlying goal is to encourage Christian fathers in their leadership and role in the home?

The reason it is a beneficial topic is that if our freedom in Christ is our focus, it is important to see what we will reap in our Christian walk and in the lives of our children. How sad the barren harvest this teaching has sown. Will you reap a similar harvest in your home also? Will your life, and your children’s lives, be ineffective for Christ? Let’s begin by looking at what I believe Scripture tells us our focus should be. Then we will contrast that with a harmful focus on our freedom in Christ.

If we aren’t to focus on our freedom, what should our focus be? In Romans 1:1, Paul introduces himself: “Paul, a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated unto the gospel of God.” Paul refers to himself as a servant of Jesus Christ. The word servant in the Greek is doulos. It means a slave who has permanently subjected his will to another.

Looking at Paul’s other introductions, he most commonly refers to himself as an apostle (Romans 1:1, 1 Corinthians 1:1, 2 Corinthians 1:1, Galatians 1:1, Ephesians 1:1, Colossians 1:1, 2 Timothy 1:1, and Titus 1:1). In the Greek, that word is apostolos and means one sent forth. This carries the definition of one both under the authority of another and on a directed mission. Paul primarily saw himself as a servant on a mission directed by his Lord Jesus. Paul’s focus was not his freedom in Christ. On the contrary, his focus was subjection to the One Who sent him to serve.

It is no surprise that Paul saw himself as a man with a mission for his Master and didn’t emphasize his freedom in Christ (1 Corinthians 10:23) because that is how his Master, Jesus, was. Jesus repeatedly told us that He only did and said what the Father told Him to do and say. “Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise” (John 5:19).

“I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me” (John 5:28-29). Jesus didn’t seek to exercise His rights, but He followed the will of the Father.

“Then said Jesus unto them, When ye have lifted up the Son of man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things. And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him” (John 8:28-29). Not only did Jesus obey the Father, He took it to the next step and always sought to please the Father.

Jesus is God, and He is wisdom personified. Any decision He would have made on His own would always have been just and right. Yet on earth, He only did and said what the Father told Him to do and say. It wasn’t because He needed it this way, but it was to be an example of how we are to live for Him in His service. “I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me” (John 5:30). “For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me” (John 6:38).

As God, Jesus did not call on His freedom, but He laid it down for the Father’s will. Paul’s focus was similar in viewing himself as a servant on a mission for His Lord. Yes, Paul had freedom in Christ, but he laid it down at Jesus’ feet.

This issue of whether to focus on freedom in Christ or whether to focus on being a servant is so important for us as parents as we consider its impact on our children. Every time I have heard freedom in Christ used as a reason why something is permissible, it has to do with catering to the flesh. It provides the “perfect” escape and “permission” to follow the flesh. I have never heard someone say it is their freedom in Christ to serve more rigorously or to deny themselves in some way.

If Christians make decisions based on their freedom in Christ (meaning their right to choose), we can expect to see similar outcomes as when young children make their own decisions. In the same way a young child cries, “Mine!” many Christians are crying, “It’s my freedom in Christ!” The focus is clearly on self, versus seeking what Jesus, the Lord and Master, is directing.

May we be agreed that if we are saved, then we are servants of Christ? We are here to obey and follow Jesus’ direction for the glory of the Father. As parents, if that is our attitude regarding our Christian role on Earth, we will be modeling for our children the same heart that Jesus and Paul had. There is no focus on what our own personal choice is in a matter, but only a desire to know the mind of Christ and His will for us. Life becomes simpler if we follow His leading.

Do you desire to be a family that is effective for the Lord Jesus Christ? If so, then focus on being a servant and not on your freedom. Jesus will direct you into ways of service that will have an impact on your family, neighborhood, city, state, and country. Man has no real wisdom on his own regardless of how intelligent he believes he is. No matter how good our ideas are in how to use our time, it is nothing compared to how Jesus will use our time if we will yield to His direction. Our freedom (liberty) is to be used in serving others, not ourselves.

Galatians 5:13: “For brethren, ye have been called unto liberty, only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”

1 Corinthians 10:23-24: “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not. Let no man seek his own, but every man another’s wealth.”

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A Family Pursuit

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Some on the Corner’s list have heard us speak and know that when we are at the smaller conferences, we introduce the family by singing. We felt that was appropriate because each evening we close our family Bible time with a hymn. We have greatly enjoyed our singing together.

Christopher has played the piano since he was eight and is now giving Jesse, Mary, and Anna piano lessons. His love for hymns and skill at playing them has been a great encouragement to our family, motivating the younger children to want to learn from him. Frequently, when Christopher visits our church attendees who are in the hospital, he will play the piano in the sitting area. This is a source of joy and comfort to those he is visiting.

Last fall my mother found a violin in a thrift store that had some minor damage to it. She is skillful with her hands and soon had made a few small repairs to it, yielding a playable instrument. She had heard about Anna’s desire to play the violin and gave it to her. Since then, Anna has worked hard teaching herself to play the violin.

Years ago, when we lived in Washington State, Nathan purchased an old guitar from someone at church, and it has been gathering dust since Nathan graduated to a nicer guitar. Occasionally, Jesse and Mary would ask if they could get Nathan’s old guitar out and play it. They would have a great time strumming away “melodies” that they composed on the fly.

In the summer of 2004, Sarah and Teri visited some friends of the family. Several times during the visit, the family broke out their instruments and played them. They sang hymns and had a blessed time. Even the young children in the home had instruments that they were learning to play.

Last fall two of our children began asking if they could purchase acoustic guitars. I suppose all the above factors were a part, but by this time, learning to play the guitar was firmly on their hearts. One day when Teri and I were on our walk together, I shared with her that I was praying about getting three guitars, two for the children and one for myself. I mentioned how I had always wanted to learn to play a guitar, but had never done so. When Nathan started to play his guitar, I had tried to learn with him, but with my short fat fingers, I had given up in despair. However, now it was on my heart again, and I was feeling committed to learning how to play the guitar.

Teri surprised me with her reply. She said she had always desired to learn to play the guitar as well, and if I got one, she wanted one too. It was funny to hear her say those words because after thirty years of marriage, I had no idea she would like to learn to play a guitar. I believe I know her quite well and don’t expect many surprises – but I was wrong, she surprised me.

After getting the Lord’s direction, we leapt right in and purchased a number of instruments. Since then there have been some adjustments, and the children have settled into their instruments of preference. Starting with the youngest and working upwards, Mary, age 8, plays the mountain dulcimer, guitar, and tin whistle. Jesse, age 10, plays the hammered dulcimer, mountain dulcimer, bowed psaltery, and guitar. Anna, age 12, plays the fiddle, hammered dulcimer, bowed psaltery, and mandolin. John, age 14, plays the banjo and guitar. Joseph, age 15, plays the mandolin. Sarah plays the banjo. Christopher plays the upright bass and guitar. Finally, Teri and I play guitars. Whew!

So why write about this in a Dad’s Corner? I have a number of things I can share about our new interest in instruments that might encourage you and strengthen your family.

First, we believe that Luke 1:17 is critical to raising children who have their hearts turned toward their parents. “And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” When my heart is turned toward my children, I will spend edifying time with them, and their hearts will be turned toward us.

Following dinner, the rest of our evening is spent together in the most blessed and special time of the day. Every night, we begin by having our family Bible time. After that, we play our instruments and sing hymns. Not only is the time edifying, but we enjoy it greatly.

Compare how our evenings are spent to the family who spends their time in individual pursuits, out at an activity, or worse, sitting in front of a TV. The TV is “the world” condensed down into several cubic feet. To “feed” on what the TV spews out is spiritual poison for Christians. Friends, if you have a TV in your home, may I encourage you to put it out for the trash? You will be blessed if you do. If TV is taking even a minute of your time, I implore you to get rid of it. After you have the television out of your life for a month, you will look back and see how it was corrupting your spirit and stealing your time. I know those are strong words, but I challenge you to see if what I’m saying is true.

Next, I have heard through the years that if you want to teach your children teamwork, let them play sports. I have come to disagree with that statement. Instead of our children receiving all the negatives sports have to offer – bad influences, injuries, appetites for wasting time, and more – our family is learning to cooperate and each to defer to the other as they seek to produce harmony and balanced music. (For more information on sports, we suggest you listen to our CD, Sports-Friend or Foe?.)

Playing music to be a blessing to others has given the children additional purpose in their days. When they have some discretionary time, they are likely to spend it practicing on their instruments instead of wasting it. I love to walk past the living room seeing Jesse and Mary practicing their dulcimers together, or seeing all of the younger children working on a hymn they will play for the elderly on Sunday at church.

One thing we have avoided is dependence on someone else to teach the children. I’ve known many families who taxi their children all around to music lessons. In addition to disrupting the day, it can be extremely expensive. We tried an instructor for a few weeks and cycled several children together through the lesson, but soon found that books and DVDs were more beneficial. We can use these resources at times that fit our schedule, and the materials are there for later review.

Instead of purchasing character-quality curricula, we have found the music time provides ample opportunity to work on character. For example, when the children work together practicing hymns, they need to submit to one another. Each one usually has a suggestion on how best to play the arrangement, and it is a wonderful exercise in submission for them to work through it with proper spirits.

Some might think that it would be expensive if one chooses to go down the musical road. Certainly, it can be, but there are many ways to make it affordable. As I mentioned, Anna’s violin came from a thrift store. A family we know got their son’s guitar at a garage sale. It is not uncommon for people to have instruments gathering dust that they would be happy to give away or sell inexpensively to someone who will use them. Two of the children have recorders, and Mary also has a tin whistle, which are very inexpensive instruments. Also, musical instruments make great gifts for the children instead of toys that quickly wear out. Grandparents might be pleased to know of something worthwhile to give as a present, or at least money toward the instrument. Often children will have money saved that could be used on a lifetime investment such as a musical instrument. If God puts family musical instruments on your heart, pray and ask Him to provide them. It is exciting to see how the Lord answers prayers, and your children will be encouraged in their faith.

Another hindrance to some might be that the parents don’t have a musical background or knowledge of music theory. That is exactly how I would describe myself. I was a grade-school trombone flunky. We have found that there are books and videos available that can take someone who knows nothing musically and have him playing hymns very quickly. If I remember right, I believe we were playing our first hymn within a week. It was rewarding and such a blessing. Don’t let lack of musical knowledge stop you. Most importantly, if the Lord Jesus is leading you, go for it.

May I encourage you to seek the Lord in how He might direct your family into joint pursuits – activities that may be done as a family? Our family music time has a significant impact on my time and what I can accomplish in the evenings, but I don’t regret this investment for a minute. I love pouring out my heart and time into my family. If there are unprofitable things that are taking your time, please remove them from your life. Then substitute in something that is edifying and good for your family. The benefits you will receive will be a blessing for eternity.

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FIRE! FIRE!

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It was an hour earlier than we normally walked. It was as cold as it was dark. As we neared the last two houses on the block at the end of the street, our conversation halted mid-word as our eyes strained to make sense of a sight that made no sense. Horror filled my heart as I could see it was true. There were flames of various heights, some a couple of feet in the air, right next to the side of the house that had captured our attention.

Fire is bad enough, but this fire was around the base of the home’s natural gas meter. I looked up at the house and could see that there was a light on in the bedroom located above and beside where the fire was. This indicated that someone was probably in the room closest to the fire. I had heard reports of what a gas explosion can do to a house and began running toward the house. At the same time, I was praying and asking the Lord whether I should try to extinguish the fire first or get the people out of the house.

I felt the Lord Jesus saying to get the family out first, so I ran up the stairs to the front door. As I ran, I told Teri I might need her to wake up a neighbor and use their phone if I couldn’t rouse anyone inside. I admit I was not very dignified as I frantically rang the doorbell repeatedly so that anyone in there would immediately come to the door. After, what seemed like an eternity, but was probably less than thirty seconds, the husband and wife opened the door. I shouted at them “FIRE! FIRE! Get out of this house!” This couple, with grown children who are no longer at home that we were aware of, knew our family and quickly followed me out as I ran down the steps.

I ran across the driveway making a quick glance around the corner of the house to see what was going on. I could see a plastic five-gallon pail on fire right behind the gas meter. Whatever was on the ground beside it was also burning. All this was under and around the gas meter. I saw the wire handle of the bucket and grabbed it with my gloved hand. I jerked the bucket of fire away from the meter, throwing it onto the driveway. With the main source of fuel at a safe distance from the fire, I was able to stomp out most of the remaining flames around the meter. I encouraged the husband to quickly get some water on what remained. As he went into the house, I said good-bye and headed down the driveway. Teri and I were on our way again, after only about a two or three minute interruption to the walk.

For the fourteen years we have lived in our current home, our hearts have been burdened for our neighbors’ salvation. They are good, nice people. We have come to love each of them deeply as relationships with them have developed. Most of them don’t know Jesus as their Lord and Savior, though. However, as I shared previously in a Corner, I had not wept for my dear friends and neighbors. Nor have I prayed earnestly for their souls to be spared from hell.

A few months ago the Lord Jesus put something new on my heart. This might sound quite amazing to you that it would be considered “new,” but it is true. Up until this time our family had not had an extended time of prayer as a family. “Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:19-20). We pray each day individually and with the children as we put them to bed, but we had never had a set time when we would begin with the goal of praying for a couple of hours or longer. At first, a season of prayer may seem like a bad idea if you have younger children, but our experience has been that the children loved it as much as Teri and me.

I think New Year’s Eve was our best prayer time yet. We prayed for two and a half hours and ushered in the New Year in a grand and glorious fashion. Previous New Year’s Eves we have played board games, but they did not compare with this last one. Our hearts were so blessed as we prayed while weeping, praying Scripture, and praying through song. We cried out as a family to our Lord Jesus regarding many areas, and the souls of our neighbors were high on the list. “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).

One of the things we prayed for was that God would help us to see the eminent danger of the hell-fire our neighbors are facing. We prayed for the ability of almost being able to picture hell and the suffering of those in it. We wanted our hearts to be even more broken for those who don’t believe on Jesus. “He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God” (John 3:18). We desired to feel an urgency in sharing Jesus Christ so that none in our neighborhood would be lost.

My purpose in this article is to encourage dads to consider leading your families in some extended prayer times. I’ll share how we did it. You could modify it to suit your family.

Everyone was asked to be quiet and treat the prayer time as a very solemn occasion. In the middle of our praying, if someone needed to use the bathroom or was thirsty, he could go take care of that and come back quietly. If younger ones wanted to quit, they could at any time and either go to bed or sleep right where they were.

Everyone was to get comfortable. They could sit, stand, lie on the floor, kneel, or whatever, as they felt like. They could change positions as often as they needed. There was no order to who prayed, but as each was led by the Spirit of the Lord, he could begin after another had finished. Everyone was welcome to pray as many times as the Spirit led. As one prayed he could read Scripture out loud or sing something in prayer if led. The emphasis was on a close family time of bringing our petitions before the Righteous, Holy, God of the Universe.

By having it be loose and casual, everyone was comfortable and at peace. I believe that keeping it quiet is important to convey the seriousness of what is being done. But aside from that, find a way to make it work. If two hours seems like a long time, then begin with an hour. I encourage you not to think of why it wouldn’t work, but seek ways to make it work. It will change the “heart” of your family.

Our family prayer times have been frankly, the best times of prayer I have ever experienced. Instead of coming home after a blessed prayer time with others and telling the family how great it was, they are able to experience it themselves first-hand. The children were able to share the joy of the Holy Spirit working in their hearts as we cried out to our Father in Heaven. Isn’t this what real discipleship is all about?

We discovered one prayer that has already been answered as we reflect back on that early morning fire at our neighbor’s house. We can now picture a family peacefully preparing for a new day with no fear of tomorrow—business as usual. Yet, unknown to them, there is a fire by their gas meter. If it was to explode, it could produce a huge fireball explosion, resulting in the family being burned alive. They are without a care, but they desperately need someone to warn them of what lies ahead if no action is taken. Don’t be surprised if God gives you opportunity to be a blessing to your neighbors.

I want to be very clear that I’m NOT saying God created that fire, but I am saying that I believe He used it for good. I’m confident He led us to be there at that exact time. First, so we could be a blessing to our neighbors in a tangible way and second so we would have the mental picture of the danger of hell-fire our neighbors are in. Action is what God has called us to. Will we rescue the perishing? “And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh” (Jude 1:23).

Some may be wondering how the fire started. For the curious, I will explain. The family had a house guest who was only allowed to smoke outside. Before the house guest left for work, he was having a smoke outside the house and threw his cigarette into the plastic bucket. The contents of the bucket and then the bucket caught on fire. Then there were leaves and other combustible materials on the ground that caused the fire to spread.

If we cry out to the Lord Jesus to enable us to bless those around us, we can be sure He will give good opportunity. May each of us make our home a house of prayer.

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How’s Work?

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I couldn’t give an accurate count of the number of men, through the years, who have blamed their jobs for their not being able to have a daily time in Bible reading and prayer before work. They would say they had to be to work early, stay late, or both. They had to travel, or the job took all of their mental and emotional focus. There was always some “valid” reason why they didn’t have time for their own personal Bible reading and prayer time.

It seemed like the same story was given when it came to not having time for family Bible reading and prayer in the evenings. Dad’s job seemed to be the primary “good” reason for him not leading his family in Bible reading and prayer. There appears to be a Biblical example for these types of statements.

In Genesis 3:12, when Adam was confronted with a wrong choice, he said, “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.” Here, the one God had given Adam to care for and protect is the one on whom Adam is blaming his bad decision. A job, which is not much more than a vehicle to provide for the physical needs of the family, becomes the reason why the spiritual needs of the family aren’t being met.

We would do well to remember Jesus’ dialog with Peter in John 21. “So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs. He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep” (John 21:15-17).

Brothers, do we confess to love Jesus? If so, reread the section above. What did Jesus tell us to do if we love Him? Didn’t He indirectly tell us to feed the lambs and the sheep? We are shepherds of the flock that He has given us. Jesus is telling us to feed His sheep that He has entrusted to our care. Could Jesus have been instructing Peter to make sure that the flock was receiving physical food? If so, then it would make the “job excuse” a valid reason, but that isn’t the emphasis as we can see in Acts when Peter began his ministry. Peter’s mission was preaching – not distributing food. When the apostles were accused of neglecting the widows in Acts 6:2-4, they appointed deacons so they would not slight the teaching of God’s Word – spiritual feeding.

Is your family starving to death before your eyes – spiritually starving, that is – because you aren’t feeding them? Who will be to blame for that? No, we can’t blame our boss or someone else. The shepherd is responsible for the condition of his flock. May we be the men whom God has called us to be and feed our flocks.

He Loved Her

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She was married at the age of sixteen with her mother’s consent. Her father was a cruel and harsh man, and to protect the daughter, a marriage license was quickly obtained. Soon she was married to a young man seven years older, whom she had been seeing twice a week for the last year with her father’s consent.

The situation had erupted when the daughter had asked the father if she might now see the young man three times a week. This had made the father very angry, and he had whipped her mercilessly. After the dad left the house, the girl went over to her boyfriend’s. When the boy’s mother saw the girl, she was broken-hearted and sought a solution. Together they went to the girl’s mother, who soon consented to signing the marriage license for the daughter.

Through a dear older woman, she came to know Jesus as Lord and Savior at the age of nineteen, and she is a beautiful testimony of God’s faithful work in the human heart. I detected no bitterness or anger as she spoke of her father, but a sweet and tender heart. Truly, it is amazing how the love of Christ Jesus can change a person.

One would think that to have been married fifty-three years it must have been a beautiful, storybook kind of marriage. Yes, one might think that, but instead it was a dramatic testimony of God’s grace. The good man of twenty-three who rescued her from a terrible home situation brought her into a new set of undesirable circumstances. Her knight in shining armor was to become an alcoholic and a gambler. He then shared with her the multitude of difficulties that go with those addictions.

She gives credit to the Lord Jesus for sustaining her through those fifty-three years of marriage. Does she harbor bitterness toward her husband? No. She says, “He loved me.” Many times she repeated, “He loved me.” Even with such a hard life, by God’s grace, she chose to look back on her husband’s love instead of the injustice that she received through the years.

As a lost man, her husband could not love her as Christ has called husbands to love their wives. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). Brothers, do we love our wives? Not “do we provide for them,” but do we love them? When they think of us, do they think of our love for them? Do our wives find comfort in knowing we love them? Do we love them not just in word but in deed? To love our wives as Christ loved the church is not just a nice saying, it is a command of God through the Holy Spirit.

Here is a secondary thought for us to consider. What appetites are we creating in our children? This woman’s husband of fifty-three years became an alcoholic and a gambler largely due to his well-meaning mother. She felt it was special for her family to have some home-brew always available. That she did, and her son developed a real taste for alcohol as he grew up. I said “largely due” because we are all individually accountable to God for the sin in our life. Others may place a stumbling block in our path, but we are still responsible and will be judged accordingly.

The well-meaning mom also wanted her family to spend time together in the evenings, so they began playing cards together. They never played for money, not even pennies, but they used matches and toothpicks. After years of playing cards in the home, he was hooked as a youth and became a serious gambler as an adult.

A brother in Christ once shared with me how his mother taught him to play penny-pat when he was young, and that gave him a hunger for gambling. Even though his mother was well-intentioned and wanted to spend some time with her son, in reality what she did was to give him the appetite for gambling. Therefore, he was addicted to it even at middle-school age.

Brothers, what sort of appetites are we creating in our children? Whether it is a part of our lives that they observe, something we allow in their lives, the gifts that we give, or something we encourage them to do, they will readily develop appetites. “I speak that which I have seen with my Father: and ye do that which ye have seen with your father” (John 8:38). “Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones” (Luke 17:1-2).

May we evaluate our lives and what we encourage in the lives of our children for the fruit it will produce in them. I’m amazed how occasionally I will see a child doing something they shouldn’t, and when I correct them, they will say, “But you saw me doing this before and didn’t say anything.” Since they weren’t corrected previously, they took that as approval to do it again, when in fact we might not have really noticed what was going on.

Men, may our hearts be turned toward our family. May we love our wives sincerely with great honor and respect. May we guard the hearts of our children and be ever so careful of what appetites we introduce in their lives. As we love Jesus Christ and obey Him in all that He calls us to, our family will be drawn to Christ as well, and He will be glorified.

Candy Bars, Checkers, and Pepper

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“What is your favorite candy bar?” I asked the very tired-looking, aging checker at the grocery store where we shop weekly. She paused from passing the food in front of the scanner for several seconds, looked at me with a little suspicion, and replied, “Three Musketeers.” I gave the nod to one of the children and off he went on his mission. Momentarily he returned and slid the named candy bar onto the conveyor belt. After it had been scanned, another child grabbed it before being bagged and looked at me. I smiled and nodded. Mary, holding the candy bar out in her hand, said to the checker, “Here, we would like you to have this.”

For a second, the tired face had a puzzled look, but in a flash it was exchanged for a bright smile as she exclaimed, “That is so kind. Thank you! You just made my day.”

We had driven down to load the moving truck my dad had rented. We stopped to eat before heading to a motel and bed. When the waiter came to take our order, Nathan (our oldest son) spoke to him. Nathan said that we would be asking the Lord to bless the food in a few minutes and was there anything we might pray for him concerning. The waiter was a bit taken aback, recovered, and then said that his girlfriend’s father was in the hospital with serious heart difficulties, and they would appreciate prayer for him. The waiter was clearly moved and grateful that we had asked. I told Nathan how thankful I was for this idea and example because I was looking forward to asking others this same question in the future. Nathan explained that he had been with someone who had done this, and he had purposed to do it when he remembered.

When Jesus was asked about whether it was right to pay taxes, He responded with, “. . . Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s” (Matthew 22:21). What a startling thing for Jesus to say. The Romans were harsh and cruel to the Jews. It would have been reasonable for Jesus to have said, “This government is as corrupt as the Pharisees. Don’t give them even a penny.” But He didn’t. He said give Caesar what you owe him. Israel was under the control of a wicked and ruthless government. Jesus was telling them to pay the taxes that were required. It would be certain that some of the money would be used to pay troops who would commit horrible crimes against Jews. Yet Jesus said to pay the taxes. The money Jesus was instructing them to render to Caesar ultimately would pay the soldiers who would crucify the Lord of Glory.

The Jews were seeking a political and national savior who would free them from Rome. We can understand that all too well. It was easy to be caught up in the emotion surrounding the 2004 Presidential elections. However, have you noticed, when listening to Christians discussing politics, that it sounds like they too could be looking for a political savior? It is as if a righteous leader can change the country. Now, don’t get me wrong, I want a righteous leader; however, a righteous leader will not make righteous citizens. As the morals of the general population slide, we can expect it to become impossible to elect godly men.

What, then, can be done? “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). “. . . Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men” (Mark 1:17). “And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem” (Luke 24:47). “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost” (Matthew 28:19). The only reason believers make right choices, when they do, is because they are obeying the Lord Jesus. Then why should we be surprised when lost people make the choices that they do?

The long-term answer to the real need of our country is Jesus Christ. How will they know unless they are told? “Now then we are ambassadors for Christ . . .” (2 Corinthians 5:20) bringing the Good News of eternal life. We are to be salt to a decaying society. “Ye are the salt of the earth . . .” (Matthew 5:13). We are to be light exposing sin and leading others to the Savior. “Ye are the light of the world . . .” (Matthew 5:14).

Jesus’ time on earth was spent waging war for the hearts of men, and that is what He has called us to also. “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26). Are we any different from our fathers before us who had little impact in their society for Christ? Even worse, by our example we are infecting our children with the same lifestyle—a cozy, comfortable, complacent walk with the Lord. If that doesn’t sound lukewarm, I don’t know what does.

Brothers, are we willing to own our failure to reach the lost? Will we repent? I say that in general as I’m confident some of you are faithful in sharing Jesus every chance you get. From my experience, though, it may be one in a thousand or even fewer who have a passion for telling others about Jesus. Are we embarrassed to hand someone a tract or to ask them where they will spend eternity? “Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels” (Mark 8:38).

I read a pastor’s comments after he had visited Christians in Africa. He said he was amazed at how much the African Christians had done with so little materially. He was also amazed at how little the United States Christians have done with so much materially.

Our decisions for how we use our time and money document our priorities and theology. We will spend our time and money on what is most important to us. We can tell ourselves witnessing is important, but if we aren’t actively doing it, frankly, it really isn’t important to us.

Sarah shared with the family something she had just read about D. L. Moody. Now there is someone who had significant impact on those around him. Mr. Moody had made a commitment to the Lord to share Christ with someone every day. One night he was lying in bed about to go to sleep when he realized that he had not shared Jesus with anyone that day. So he got up, dressed, and went out to tell another about Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father, may I be that serious about other men’s souls.

For years I have sought to share my faith frequently; however, the Lord has shown us that we really haven’t been passionate for the souls of men. I am ashamed to say that I don’t remember the last time I wept over someone’s lost condition. Our family desires revival in our hearts so we will be “. . . instruments of righteousness unto God” (Romans 6:13). Would you even now pause for a moment to pray for my heart and those in my family? Pray that our hearts would be broken for the lost. As Jesus was approaching Jerusalem during His triumphal entry, He broke down and wept over the city. “And when he was come near, he beheld the city, and wept over it” (Luke 19:41). Jesus was looking at a people who would reject their Savior and choose a convicted criminal instead of the Righteous One. May my heart be broken as well.

Our next-door neighbors have a small mixed-breed dog that is a “people magnet.” Everyone in the neighborhood loves Pepper. Since Pepper’s backyard runs next to the street, anyone walking by can see the dog. On spotting someone, Pepper repeatedly leaps vertically in the air almost to the top of the fence, with her tail furiously wagging. It looks as if Pepper has springs on her feet as she boings up and down showing her intense love for any morsel of time you might “cast” her way. Once she has won your heart and you reach over the fence to pet her, she presses her head against your hand, whines, and tries to lick you. It makes you feel like you are the most important thing in her life. People can’t resist her because of the love that just flows from her.

It is our desire to be like that little dog. I would like others to feel our deep love for them and be drawn to us on every encounter we have with them. When I speak to them about their souls, I hope they would sense a sincere love, a love that only Jesus Christ can give. I don’t believe I have ever pleaded for those receiving the Corners to pray for us like this before, but from the depth of my soul I’m asking now.

There are limitless ways to be salt and light, to show the love of Jesus and proclaim His name throughout each day. Just this morning someone had dialed a wrong number and left a message on our phone. Instead of hanging up, they left a most beautiful message proclaiming the goodness of God and inviting us to know Him if we didn’t already. We have found that buying candy bars for checkers, to show them we appreciate what they do for us, and by asking people how we can pray for them, we have purpose in every outing and trip. We have found a source for tracts that are very captivating, and we are learning how to share them effectively. (If you’d like to find about more information about these tracts, please visit: www.FamiliesforJesus.com)

We have heard some former waiters say that they dreaded the Sunday lunch after-church crowd. They felt that Christians were the most ungrateful, cheap people they had to serve. How can this be? We should be the most generous, grateful people on the face of the earth. Instead of a good testimony and chance to share Christ, a bad taste for the name of Jesus is left in the waiters’ mouths.

It all starts in the heart, which is why I ask you to pray for us, and we will pray for you on the Corners list. There is no other reason that I don’t weep for the lost than having a cold, hard heart. Please pray that the Father would pour out His Spirit into our family and give us abundantly of Himself. I know I’m being very vulnerable in asking this, but that is okay because it is the deepest desire of my heart. That is why I feel led to ask for your help. Together may we be used of the Father to share Christ with our nation and the world.

“How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things” (Romans 10:14-15).

Would You Go?

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It was 1971, and the man was quickly convicted of murdering a U.S. military officer. He was sentenced to public execution. The town buzzed. It seemed like everyone had come to the gravel pit near the city to see the man put to death. The police set up a barricade to keep the crowd back. Soon there were refreshments and souvenirs being sold, making the execution resemble more a carnival than a solemn occasion meting out due justice. A post was driven into the ground before a wall of dirt, and then a cloth screen was placed in front of it. A target was strategically fastened to the screen in line with the post behind it.

The condemned man was led in, blindfolded, and tied to the post behind the screen. The foreign military’s firing squad lined up facing the target. On command, the five men fired. It took only a second for the death sentence to be carried out. What happened next surprised those overseeing the event. The crowd surged forward past the barricades and tore down the screen to get a closer look at the result of the five bullets.

At first I believe most Christians would be amazed at how people might actually want to see such a sight. However, we must remember the lost will act like the lost, and therefore, we should not be surprised by such behavior. Jesus said about the lost in John 8:44, “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” Jesus said that the unsaved will imitate their father.

Many years ago, Christians were victims of activities that were beyond what I will describe here. Men, women, and children were condemned and brought into an arena for the entertainment of others. Wild beasts were also released, and in time only the wild beasts remained alive. Unwillingly, Christians were brutally killed for the pleasure of others. How could humanity ever stoop so low as to take enjoyment watching others suffer? The answer to this is that Satan is a murderer and takes joy in it. Satan takes delight in the evil and violence that is perpetuated against human beings in our world. Therefore, we can expect the lost to take enjoyment in it as well. This isn’t being said in a harsh, judgmental way. It is simply the way it is for a man without Jesus Christ.

The Bible is very clear regarding the depravity of the lost soul. “And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually” (Genesis 6:5). “The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence” (Genesis 6:11). “How much more abominable and filthy is man, which drinketh iniquity like water?” (Job 15:16). “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good” (Psalms 14:1). “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies” (Matthew 15:19). Whew! Would you believe there is more about this in Scripture that we don’t have room for here?

As we read what the Bible says about the depravity of the soul, it is easy to see how a lost person could take enjoyment and be entertained watching violence, including someone being brutalized or murdered. I must confess that I attended the execution with my military friends and the local townspeople. I was there participating in the festive spirit. I didn’t rush forward afterwards, but I might as well have. I remember even in junior high school how I was part of the crowd hurrying outside to see a couple of boys fight it out.

But would I go now to that type of public execution for the sake of seeing the gore, or a legal event for entertainment where people could hurt, injure, maim, or even kill others? NO! At salvation, Jesus gave me a new heart and changed me. “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26). My new heart no longer enjoys seeing fights, strife, brutality, and killing.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17). The key is “if any man be in Christ.” I am a new creature in Christ: the old has passed away and all things are become new. My new heart is now indwelt by the Spirit of God. My Lord Jesus came to earth to die on a cross for mankind. He loves man so much He gave His life as a ransom so that man wouldn’t suffer for all eternity in hell. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). Think about that love. If I have even an ounce of the love of Jesus in me, just a portion of His Spirit, how then could I ever take pleasure in or be entertained watching someone being hurt? Is it possible for a believer to enjoy such a thing? How could I ever call human suffering entertainment?

Even though we should expect the unsaved to act like the unsaved and not judge them for it, Christians should not act like the lost. “For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his” (Romans 8:5-9).

My question for each of us is: “Would we ever go to see some act of brutality if we had the chance?” If your answer is “yes,” I would encourage you to evaluate your heart in light of Scripture. Maybe the “yes” came without really realizing that Jesus would not have one of His children observe such a thing. However, think about it, and ask God to try your heart, and seek to find out what is wrong.

Now for those who answered “No!” I have a few thoughts to share. Praise God that we realize that we could not be entertained in such a fashion. However, for the sake of our children, let’s take this to a deeper level. Jesus said in John 8:38, “I speak that which I have seen with my Father: and ye do that which ye have seen with your father.” What do our children see us doing?

If children see their fathers being entertained by violence, they will want that for themselves. Maybe a father enjoys watching TV shows or movies that are violent. Perhaps they are actually tame ones by today’s standards, where people are neatly killed. Still, they involve violence against those Jesus died to save. Regardless of the fact that it is fake, it is being presented as real. If this is the example a father sets in how he spends his time, according to John 8:38, his children are likely going to find pleasure in the same.

If someone tells us about a “great” movie or TV show where this type of stuff is going on, do we want to hear all about it, or do we challenge them as to how they could consider watching such a thing? Are we salt and light not only to a lost and dying world but also to “brothers” who are being shameful in their conduct and being a stumbling block for their children? It only takes one generation to lose one’s children.

Men, if you find yourselves drawn to ungodly viewing, I implore you to reconsider. May we identify with our Father in heaven and not with the father of lies. May we be good role models for our children and not be stumbling blocks. May we love the light and flee the darkness. May our children observe in us the fruit of the Spirit and not the fruit of Satan.

“And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God” (John 3:19-21).

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-25).

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