All posts by Teri Maxwell

Teri Maxwell is wife to Steve for over 40 years, mom to eight children (three married), and grandma to eight. She loves keeping her home running smoothly and sharing with women in the vein of Titus 2:4&5. Teri homeschooled for thirty years, and she's graduated all her children. In between her other responsibilities, she manages to squeeze in writing time. She is co-author of the popular Managers of Their Homes and Managers of Their Chores. In addition, Teri's written three books just for ladies Homeschooling with a Meek & Quiet Spirit, Sweet Journey, and Sweet Relationships. She has been writing monthly encouragement articles for homeschool moms for 25 years. Find more information on Teri Maxwell and her books.

School Year Preparations

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For many homeschooling moms, the beginning of a new school year is just ahead! In this Mom’s Corner, I would like to share with you three suggestions for making the coming school year the success that you want it to be.

As I approached the first day of school last year, I was dreading it! I wasn’t ready for the changes full-time school would bring. I knew that if my spirit wasn’t right, my children’s wouldn’t be either. I cried out to the Lord concerning the state of my heart, and He answered me.

The Lord encouraged me to set aside the Saturday night before our first day of school as a time to dedicate the school year to Him. I worked on Friday and Saturday to complete all the practical, weekend tasks I had to do so that my Saturday evening would be free. I shared with my family what I was planning and received my husband’s blessing. As I waited for my evening with the Lord, I jotted down areas that I wanted to pray about.

After dinner that evening, I gathered up school books, schedules, assignments—anything that had to do with our school. I carried them into my bedroom and stacked them in piles. I pulled out my prayer notes and started praying for our school, for Steve, and for myself.

Then, child by child, I placed their school materials in front of me. I thumbed through them and made notes as to what I thought might be difficult areas for the child. I noted that on my prayer list. Then I prayed for each child and their school year. If the Lord brought ideas to mind during the prayer time, I paused, made a note, and then continued on.

I had such a sweet, sweet time with the Lord that it completely transformed my heart toward beginning school again. I would counsel any homeschooling mom, whether she is excited about her school year or dreading it, to set aside a special time to pray about and dedicate her school to the Lord. This might even be something a husband and wife could do together in addition to Mom praying alone.

Psalms 37:5 says, “Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” I certainly saw the fruit of this as I purposed, in a different way than I ever had in the past, to commit my school year to Him. I am planning to do this every year!

The second area I would like to encourage you in is chore assignments. This would include making a list of each child’s chores, scheduling a time for them to accomplish the chores, setting aside time for you to check their chores, and agreeing upon consequences when the chores aren’t done properly. I have found that one of the most draining aspects of homeschooling is not the schooling itself, but getting children to fulfill their household responsibilities before and after school. For more information about chores, see our book, Managers of Their Chores: A Practical Guide to Children's Chores.

What do you do if the child assigned to wash breakfast dishes doesn’t do them or takes five times longer than he should? You need to have thought through the possibilities and have consequences in place so that you aren’t frustrated when this occurs. We can handle failure in our children calmly when the consequences have been planned out for future use.

When assigning chores and consequences, try to keep personalities in mind. Don’t give your dawdler a mission-critical chore that must be accomplished before school can start. If he is the only choice for the job, try giving him a “first school activity” that can easily be made up in his free time later in the day, since some days he might have to spend that slot of school time doing his chore.

The last area I would like address has to do with curriculum. Having prayed about what to use for school this year, be wary of any dissatisfaction you might experience toward your curriculum. The Lord may have a different purpose for those materials that don’t seem to be working out as you expected.

When something isn’t going well, we are very quick to desire a curriculum change. I know, because I have “been there” many times during the past sixteen years of homeschooling! Perhaps your six-year-old’s phonics program isn’t working out the way you envisioned. It may be that you should lead your child through at a much, much slower pace while he matures and gradually grasps the material. Could it be your child needs to learn, even at six, to push himself beyond his comfort zone? Maybe you are to learn an extra measure of patience. We can rob our children, and ourselves, of these valuable lessons by “jumping” curriculum too quickly.

I pray that as we enter a new homeschooling year we will seek the Lord on our knees before we ever start the first day of school. May we look for His solutions in helping our children learn responsibility. May we also rest in His purposes for the curriculum choices He has led us to make.

If you would like to view our current school schedule, you can do so.

Homeschool Families Benefit from Summer Chores

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Did you know that homeschool families benefit from summer chores for their children? This week seven-year-old Mary, eleven-year-old Anna, and I spent fifteen minutes each day polishing kitchen cabinets. That is a task that looked daunting to me, although I am serious about trying to tackle it at least once a year. My engineer husband has convinced me that if I want my kitchen cabinets to stay nice, I need to take care of them properly. As we evaluated this need and my time, we realized that this was the perfect opportunity to include the girls in a job where they could work with Mom. Each day it seemed that our fifteen minutes was up almost as soon as we started. Our time was filled with happy chatter, typical of mommies and their little girls.

After two days, our nine-year-old son said he would like to join us in our project. At that point, I headed to the store to purchase two more bottles of furniture polish. As we polished and buffed, I asked the children if they could explain the purpose of what we were doing. They did well in knowing that the polish cleaned and protected the wood. Next I questioned them on why we wanted to take care of the cabinets. They decided it was so that they would stay in good condition and look pretty. I presented them with a third question, asking why we wouldn’t just let them get messed up and then replace them. That question was a stumper for them. In their minds, it sounded reasonable just to have Daddy buy new cabinets when they no longer looked acceptable. This headed us into a discussion of being good stewards of what Jesus has given to us. That evening in our family Bible time, stewardship came up. Jesse piped in with, “Oh, yes, Mommy talked to us about being good stewards this morning when we were working on the cabinets.”

15-Minute-Chore-Time Nets Results

A simple fifteen minutes of time with my children for several days has netted our family many positive benefits. (For further information, see Managers of Their Homes.) The girls have learned a skill they may need in their own homes one day. They are being taught in one of the areas that Titus 2:4-5 tells the older women to teach the younger women, and that is in being a keeper at home. My son experienced the pleasure found in volunteering to give of his time to help another—to take joy in serving rather than having to be served. We enjoyed fellowship and spiritual discussions. In addition, the cabinets will all be polished with just a few more days of work.

Summer, if you don’t school through it, is the perfect time to dig into household cleaning and organizing tasks that don’t fit into normal homeschooling days and weeks. Rather than dreading these jobs, we can enlist the help of the children and discover benefits similar to those our family found in our cabinet-polishing. My girls didn’t complain at all when I explained to them what we were going to do—not on the first day or on subsequent days. They now look at the cabinets with a sense of accomplishment in their eyes. I expect they will be even more careful in the future to have dry hands when they open the cabinet doors and to use the handles. They have seen firsthand how much work it takes to keep up the cabinets. They don’t want to make more work.

Consider jobs in your home that need to be done and figure out how to work with your children. Our thirteen-year-old and fifteen-year-old sons are taking over the boys’ bathroom cleaning from their twenty-five-year-old brother, who will add one more sibling to the two he is already teaching piano to this year in lieu of extra cleaning chores. The boys will trade off weeks to do the bathroom cleaning. This week I cleaned their bathroom, explaining step by step what I was doing. For several weeks, I plan to be an observer of the bathroom cleaning until I feel they are consistently doing a good, thorough job. The boys are motivated to learn to maintain their bathroom well because, if they do, Daddy may consider it for a needed remodeling.

Here are some verses that have helped Steve and me to see that teaching our children to work will be helpful to them as they grow up. “Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man” (Proverbs 6:6-11). “The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat” (Proverbs 13:4). “The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold; therefore shall he beg in harvest, and have nothing” (Proverbs 20:4).

Steve and I know how much more we enjoy a work project when we can do it together. We have some fond memories of painting rooms in houses we lived in when first married. Steve did the rolling; I did the trim. We worked until we collapsed at night and talked the whole time. The same would be true for our children. Doing a project with Dad or Mom helps the time pass quickly while experiencing the joy of fellowship.

For many homeschoolers, we have several more weeks of summer left before beginning our new school year. I encourage you to target a bit of this time for working on cleaning and organizing tasks with your children. It is also a prime opportunity to teach them how to do new chores. Working together makes the children more willing participants. May we be moms who help our children toward diligence and away from the curse of being a sluggard.

Where Is the Fruit of Child Training?

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Let me share with you a story from a mom with a burdened heart.

I LOVE my son so much. He is the oldest of 4 boys. We constantly get compliments about what a sweet boy he is or what a BIG heart he has. But, as his mother I feel like a failure. He completely lacks self-discipline, diligence, and independence.

If I sit and do school WITH him he does a GREAT job and does it fairly quickly. BUT if I send him to his room to work independently he will either 1) take all day because he just sits there and daydreams OR 2) he rushes through it and does a really sloppy job.

We have spent YEARS training this child. My husband has literally taken him into the kitchen and cleaned WITH him step by step, showing him how to do it SEVERAL times. He has done a good job when he knows a reward awaits him (not perfect, but good), but for the most part he tries to get by with as little as possible.

If I don’t sit on him and make him brush his teeth or take a shower, he won’t. If I tell him his hair needs to be combed, he will go grab a hat.

He started crying tonight when I corrected him for doing a poor job. He said he feels like there is nothing he does well. Truthfully, I can’t think of anything he does well or that I am proud of as far as skill goes. He has a GREAT heart, but well meaning intentions will get him NOWHERE! Concerned Mom

What Concerned Mom is sharing about her son is something we commonly hear from moms. Often the mom is talking about a child that is seven years old or older. Perhaps this becomes an issue at this age because we begin to have some expectations of seeing the results of our child training by this time.

Our first step, when dealing with any difficult situation, and especially those concerning our children, is to pray. “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). We pray for the Lord to work in and through the needs in our children’s lives. We also ask what God’s purposes are in the struggles. How does He want us to address them? What direction and solutions does He have? What Scripture applies?

Children take time to mature. “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11). What if Concerned Mom thinks back to her son at age five? I expect he has made some progress in these difficult areas since then, maybe even significant progress. Now, what if she remembers back to when he was nine? Again, he will have made progress—perhaps not as much as she would like, but progress.

What we want to focus on is the spiritual and character growth that is taking place in our children rather than the distance they have left to go. This perspective will help our hearts be encouraged and grateful to the Lord for what He has been doing in our children’s lives rather than discouraged over what still should be accomplished. “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Concerned Mom’s son is a “sweet boy with a big heart.” A heart for the Lord and others is one of the major goals most Christian parents have for their children. Being thankful for the spiritual qualities she sees in her son will give Concerned Mom a starting point for giving her son positive feedback.

I would encourage Concerned Mom to continue working with her son in the areas where she sees her son should improve. Scripture admonishes us that we are to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). This is a long-term project the Lord has given us. Concerned Mom hasn’t failed but rather the Lord is making her aware of continued needs in her son’s life. This isn’t to discourage her but to give her direction in where to concentrate her efforts. Her commitment to helping her son is very important. From what she has shared, Concerned Mom is on the right track in teaching her son by showing him what to do, giving him responsibility, and then having consequences if he doesn’t follow through.

I would encourage Concerned Mom to find ways to help her son learn the steps to thoroughness for what he needs to do. She can make up checklists for him since she sees that he requires step-by-step direction to accomplish a task. Giving her son a scheduled time for particular jobs with deadlines and consequences may be useful. In addition, it is important to be consistent on a daily basis for an extended period of time. It is common to give up on what we are trying to do before it has time to work.

Concerned Mom could let her son take all day to do his schoolwork, without emotional anxiety over it. He likely won’t continue to take all day, and if he does, then she doesn’t need be concerned about it. It was his choice. When he tires of spending all day doing school, he will work harder to stick with it and get it done earlier.

When Concerned Mom’s son doesn’t do something well, she can simply send him back to do it again. Remember that a mom should do all of this with a meek and quiet spirit rather than with anger or resignation. Eventually, the son will decide to do a better job in the first place. I believe a key is being unemotional in dealing with all of this. Simply be matter of fact.

Another key ingredient in this process is keeping our children’s hearts, the subject of our book, Keeping Our Children’s Hearts. In this case, I would suggest that Concerned Mom make it a priority to work with her son on some of his chores on a regular basis. She and her husband can spend time with him doing the tasks that are difficult. She can reinforce details of the job. Working together is a part of building relationships. While they work, Concerned Mom can talk to her son about his problems—not strictly when the crisis is flaring but at other times as well.

Concerned Mom will be able to encourage her son that keeping these issues before him to be worked on is a positive step. What about using his failures to help him see his dependence on Jesus Christ and need to rely on Him? “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). These parents can explain to their son that his reactions to failure and correction show pride in his life. “. . . God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” (James 4:6).

Looking at verses in Proverbs that have to do with a son receiving correction would be a good study to do with a twelve-year-old boy. “A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke” (Proverbs 13:1). Keeping the relationships strong, with lots of loving communication, hugs, back patting, and enjoyable time together, is vitally important.

At age twelve, this boy’s family still has several prime years to work with their son. I think Concerned Mom should be encouraged. What she is doing will produce results. Her priority is to stay prayerful, loving, and consistent. She wants to find things for which she can praise her son. It might not seem like there are any, but if she thinks about it and looks for them, they will be there—starting with him being sweet and having a big heart. She wants to make sure that praise comes out loud and clear.

I believe most homeschooling moms have areas in their children’s lives where they know growth is needed. May this be our theme verse as we face and tackle these necessary issues. “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9). The fruit comes from years of praying, loving, teaching, consistency, and investing in the lives of our children.

Wise or Foolish Wives?

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As Christian wives, we will be making decisions each day that affect our relationships with our husbands. Here is an example of the simple interactions that occur and often cause us the most difficulty. Susie (not her real name), a wife and mother, writes:

What should we as wives expect in the way of being a part of decisions made in the home? I wholeheartedly agree that our husbands have the final say in all matters, and they have the right to consult us or not. My question is mainly: is it unbiblical to request that my husband come to me before he announces to the whole family a decision he has made? This is not necessarily so I have the opportunity to change his mind but because he will often make changes to plans or make decisions, and I feel like an outsider. I don’t have a chance to work through any feelings or problems I see with a problem before he has already told the kids and me. It feels insulting to me that he would tell them and me at the same time.

Recently my husband made an abrupt change of plans. The children were disappointed, and I was too. I reacted improperly, and the whole night was miserable. My contention was that if he had made me a part of the change from the start, I could have gotten over my problems and been on his side much easier. Seeing their disappointment coupled with my own and the fact that he didn’t bring me in on it was totally overwhelming.

The next day we had another major situation that he wanted to take care of in a certain way. He brought me in private and told me what he wanted to do “so I wouldn’t have a fit in front of the kids.” I had something different in mind, and we were able to discuss it. He gave in to me because he saw my point. I don’t expect him to give in to me every time nor do I think it is feasible to do this every time. But this is the way I would prefer things to work. Is this biblical or not?

I think for Christian women, what Susie described here is a very real situation that many, if not most of us, have faced. It presents us a great opportunity to delve into the husband-and-wife issues at hand here. These are not the extremes of abuse but rather the kinds of everyday happenings that occur in Christian marriages. As wives, we must biblically decide how we will respond. I write this Mom’s Corner because the area of submission is still a regular battle for me with my flesh. Right now I need the reminders I will write in this article. I think I make two steps forward only to soon find myself at least one step back again.

First, let’s look at Susie’s situation where her husband sprang a disagreeable change of direction on the children and her without discussing it with her beforehand. Certainly, the key to a loving, growing husband-and-wife relationship is communication. Generally, decisions will be discussed by a husband and wife and agreed upon. However, it certainly isn’t beyond reason to expect times to arise where prior discussion hasn’t happened. It may be that the time for talking wasn’t available. It could be that the husband doesn’t think the situation is major enough to warrant taking communication time. He may feel sure his wife will be in sync with him, so he doesn’t see the need for prior discussion. But if she is unhappily surprised, then what?

This becomes our opportunity to test our hearts. It is easy to submit when we agree. It is hardly submission at all, is it? The crisis comes when we disagree. What kind of response do we want from our children if they don’t care for what we have asked them to do? Of course we prefer a happy smile and cheerful compliance. We have the chance to model this for our children in these everyday situations with our husbands.

I am ashamed to say that my displeasure, which is evident to both my husband and my children, is seldom, if ever, necessary. It generally rises from my personal biases. We aren’t talking sin issues here, but rather preferences. My reactions show my pride, not my meek and quiet spirit. They are a reflection of my continued selfishness and need to control to get my own way.

In Susie’s story, she tells us of her reaction to her husband’s decision: I reacted improperly, and the whole night was miserable. As I read her story, though, rather than repenting of her unsubmissive attitude, I see Susie wanting to blame her husband for her sin—trying to make it his fault rather than hers. I struggle with this so much. In my pride, I don’t want to be wrong and, worse yet, to be at fault. I want to find a way to pin my failure on something Steve didn’t do right. Then I don’t feel so bad or view my wrong reaction as sin. I have an excuse for it.

I would encourage us to accept our responsibility for our failures and not put the blame elsewhere. It is nothing more than my pride that won’t let me simply say, “My reaction was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” I want God’s grace in my life to help me be a wife that honors, respects, and submits to her husband. What does God say about pride? “. . . God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” (James 4:6). I want and need God’s grace. This verse tells me that His grace is given to me through my humility—saying I was wrong and asking for forgiveness—and that He resists me when I am proud—making excuses for my sin or blaming it on someone else.

We want our husbands to be strong, godly leaders. However, we often encourage the exact opposite tendency by our own words, attitudes, and actions. Consider the second situation Susie describes. Her husband does what she asks him to do by sharing his plans with her privately before he tells the children. Rather than using this information to help her have a positive attitude in front of the children, she expresses her disagreement with his direction. Wow, could I relate to that scenario. My own words don’t match my actions. Instead of putting up a fight, Susie’s husband goes with what she wants. I wouldn’t be surprised if he felt he was in a situation where no matter what he did, he couldn’t please his wife. Steve has told me that when we were in the midst of a similar situation. We wives seem to struggle so much with letting go and truly letting our husbands lead.

Scripture seems to be full of admonition and warnings of what happens to us, who are wives, and those around us if we choose this path of controlling:

“A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing” (Proverbs 9:13).

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” (Proverbs 14:1).

“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house” (Proverbs 21:9). (Proverbs 25:24 says almost the same thing.)

“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman” (Proverbs 21:19).

“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike” (Proverbs 27:15).

Then we have these verses, which give a wife a picture of an obedient walk with Jesus Christ:

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Ephesians 5:22-24).

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18).

“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5).

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives” (1 Peter 3:1).

We have a choice set before us each day. We can be wise women who build our houses, or we can be foolish ones who pluck them down. I pray that we will consider well how we can build our houses to bring joy and peace to those who live there. Who do we want to please? Jesus Christ? Our husbands? Ourselves? It is our decision. May we be women who take joy in obedience to Jesus Christ through submission to our husbands.

Whose Strength?

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Recently, this question was posed to me:

I have such an overwhelming desire to be a godly wife and mom. I want to serve my husband and children by providing a clean, cheery home, fresh laundry, and hearty, home-cooked meals. I desire to do this with a pleasant attitude and a meek and quiet spirit. BUT this is sooooooo far from reality!! I am consistently behind in all my housework and constantly struggling to stay on my schedule. It seems I either have a good attitude (and the house goes to pot), or I keep my chores done (and get snippy). I am praying for God to work through me and to make me the mom He desires. Yet I find it hard to distinguish between working as hard as I can while trusting God to make the change in me and pushing myself and pushing myself in my own strength. How can you tell the difference? A mom

I believe this is a common feeling among homeschooling moms. I have thought these thoughts and asked these questions myself. Of course the place we want to go for answers would be God’s Word. Does it offer any insights into this?

First, here is what God says about His role in our lives, particularly in our struggles.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:30).

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).

Our desires to be godly wives and mothers, to make our homes a haven for our families, and to have meek and quiet spirits are God-given desires. Scripture tells us that His grace is sufficient for us and that we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.

Our schedules are tools we can use to enable us to accomplish what the Lord Jesus has called us to do. That means we are to use them with a good attitude. A clean house and a sweet disposition are not mutually exclusive. When we are short-tempered as we go through our day, we can be assured we are doing it in our own strength. We know this because we are told in Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

When our spirits don’t exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, the Lord can use our awareness of this sin as a chastening. He wants us to learn and grow through these situations. “And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth . . . Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby” (Hebrews 12:5-6, 11).

Since God has called us to homeschool and keep up with our daily homemaking chores, our schedules are to be viewed as our helpers. The schedule needs to be prayerfully made up so that it allows time for each of the areas in which God has given us responsibility. If on a daily basis we are not keeping up in one or more areas, then we must go back to the Master and consult with Him. We know He doesn’t give us more to do than time to do it.

Perhaps the schedule is flushing out our own sinful tendencies. Maybe we are behind in housework and struggling to stay on a schedule because we stay up late at night and then don’t get up and going in the morning. It could be that we choose not to do what is on the schedule because we prefer to do other things. For example, the schedule may say it is time to do laundry, but that is my least favorite job. I decide to put it off, thinking I will make it up later. However, I don’t feel any more like doing the laundry at another time, so it ends up going undone. These are simply indications that my focus is on my own wants, desires, likes, and pleasures rather than on obedience to Jesus Christ.

We have to remember we are called to be sober, to love our husbands, to love our children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, and obedient to our own husbands (Titus 2:4-5). Therefore, our jobs as homeschooling moms and homemakers are acts of obedience to the Lord. When this is difficult for us, here is what we can read in Scripture that puts our battle with our failings into perspective: “Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin” (Hebrews 12:4).

God asks us to work hard. I think we can look at Paul’s life as an example of that. These verses show us his attitude toward the tasks that were before him. “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway” (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).

Paul shows us that he had learned to run the race and strive for mastery while at the same time resting in the Lord. I believe these verses give us a clue as to how he accomplished this. “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed . . . For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18). “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:2).

Here is the problem again, Yet I find it hard to distinguish between working as hard as I can while trusting God to make the change in me and pushing myself and pushing myself in my own strength. When we are obedient to the Lord with our focus on Him, we are not pushing in our own strength. Everything good we do is through Him. All of our irritation, negative responses, frustration, anger, worry, and strife is the outcome of pushing in our own strength for our own agenda.

Perhaps these two verses sum it up for us. “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14). May we see our service to our families as obedience to our Lord Jesus Christ and choose that obedience with a willing heart.

Turn Your Heart

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Malachi 4:6 says, “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” From this verse it is obvious that parents’ hearts turned toward their children are important to the Lord Jesus. As Christian homeschooling moms, I expect each of us would say that we have our hearts turned toward our children because the Lord has called us to this job. If our children weren’t our highest priority after our relationships with the Lord and then our relationships with our husbands, we wouldn’t be homeschooling. It seems that homeschooling is a proof to us that our focus is on our children. But I wonder if this is always the case.

I have discovered that having my heart turned to my children involves a choice on my part. Homeschooling certainly plays a role in that. However, I can mechanically homeschool without my heart truly being turned to my children. For me the fruit of a focus on the children is observed through my attitude toward school. Do I look forward to school time as a joy, or do I dread it as an unpleasant task? Do I smile at my children, or is my forehead knit together in frustration with them? Do I speak encouraging words to my students, or do I criticize their attempts to accomplish their schoolwork?

No matter what my feelings are toward school, Scripture tells me that I have a responsibility in what I think about and how I act. The Lord wants me to have my heart turned to my children. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” This tells me that if I am struggling with negative feelings about school, then I can take those thoughts captive and bring them into the obedience of Christ by thinking the truth of God’s Word. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).

If I feel down and discouraged, I can choose to replace those thoughts with the truth of the Word. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). If I feel like lashing out at the children rather than using sweet, encouraging words, I can recall, “The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning” (Proverbs 16:21).

What might be other demonstrations that my heart is turned to my children? I believe one would be what I do with my time. Do I always stay busy with housework so that there is no time for the children? Am I prone to sit at the computer rather than reading a book to the children, playing a game with them, or teaching them a productive skill? What I have found in my life is that it is often easier to vacuum or do something at the computer than it is to spend time with the children. When my heart is turned toward myself, I spend my time doing what I want to do. However, when my heart is turned toward my children, I spend my time doing what they like to do with me or what is productive for them.

I want my children to remember a mommy filled with love for them that was evidenced in part by the time she spent with them. I desire that they grow to be adults recalling special shared memories rather than how clean our home was. Don’t misunderstand me. I have time scheduled in my day and week to keep up with housekeeping. That is a part of the responsibility the Lord has given me as a keeper at home. However, I still have discretionary minutes and hours. When my heart is turned toward my children, I will invest that time in them rather than in selfish personal pursuits. “Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour” (John 12:24-26).

Dr. S. M. Davis says that keeping our children’s hearts is the most difficult task facing Christian parents today and that it should be their highest priority. Keeping our children’s hearts begins with a mom turning her heart toward her children and a dad turning his heart toward his children. May we be moms who know the importance of turning our hearts toward our children. May we continually ask the Lord to turn our hearts toward our children. May we be submissive and obedient to the Lord as He prompts us to turn our hearts toward our children.

Our Desire for a Meek and Quiet Spirit

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Recently, I received this note and question from a homeschooling mom. I asked her if it would be okay for me to answer it with this month’s Mom’s Corner, and she agreed.

I started to read the book Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit  by Teri, and I was wondering this. How do I have a quiet spirit when it seems that my blood is boiling from every little thing? I cry out to God. But I still feel that anxiety. I am really confused about this. Should I just force myself to be soft spoken and cry on the inside? How do I keep from exploding? I just feel like the warden. I was wondering if anyone else might suffer from this. It seems God just did not bless me with these qualities. I have always been loud and outspoken.
A homeschooling mom

I expect almost every one of us can relate to what this mom is saying, and perhaps each of us has also experienced her feelings. I remember hearing the Christian writer and speaker Elisabeth Elliot say something to the effect that she regularly asked the women in her audience if anyone was born with a meek and quiet spirit. She never had a hand go up. That tells me that God has not created women to be naturally meek and quiet. However, He does tell us in His Word that wives are to have a “meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:4).

Even though many of us, if not all, struggle because we aren’t gifted with meek and quiet spirits, this doesn’t mean this lack is something we accept and feel doomed to live with throughout our lives. God knew exactly what He was doing when He made each one of us, and yet He also gave us direction in His Word about how to deal with this. I would encourage this mom in several things, while reminding myself of them as well.

Make the desire for a meek and quiet spirit the focus of your time with the Lord each day and of your prayer for yourself. Search the Word, as you read it each day, for verses that help you toward a meek and quiet spirit. Look for ones that give you direction on what you should be doing and what you should not be doing. Here is an example.

“Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice” (Philippians 4:4). If I were to read this verse in my daily time with the Lord while my life was desperately lacking in being meek and quiet, I would copy this verse out and memorize it. It gives me information on how to have a meek and quiet spirit. I am always to rejoice in the Lord. It is extremely difficult to be angry with the children while rejoicing in the Lord. When I found myself in a stressful situation, I would repeat this verse to myself.

I wrote a four-part Mom’s Corner series on anger. You might find some helpful information in them. There is much in this series that relates to anger and how to overcome it. I would also suggest that you finish reading Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit, which you said you had begun.

Be sure to check your heart and relationship with your children. Scripture says, “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children . . .” (Psalms 113:9). “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children” (Titus 2:4). That is our hearts’ desire—to be joyful, loving mothers of children. However, if we feel like a warden with our children, then something is wrong. It is likely our focus has become ourselves and the personal difficulties and inconveniences of raising children, including disciplining them. This is true if we are continually experiencing anger toward our children.

To be joyful, loving mothers of children, our focus should be on the good of our children—their spiritual and personal growth. If we must stop what we are doing to correct a child, we will feel angry when we are thinking about ourselves and our need to accomplish a particular task. On the other hand, if the interruption causes me to thank God for the opportunity He has given me to bring this child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), then I can receive that interruption joyfully and lovingly.

Can you see how the way I think about a situation determines my response to it? When I am thinking of my time investment with my children as a part of bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), then I see my role in a joyful, loving, positive light. I can accept the difficulties because my eyes are on the future outcome for my child’s spiritual benefit rather than the immediate difficulty for me. When my thoughts are on my hardships and myself, then every struggle is cast in a negative light and becomes a burden driving me to anger.

The word “quiet” in meek and quiet doesn’t refer to volume, as in loud versus soft. Rather, it is a heart attitude of quietness. It is a picture of resting in the Lord, not being anxious. Even though the word doesn’t have to do with the volume of our voices, in a home, loudness associated with anger isn’t healthy. So I would encourage you that, yes, it would be good to make yourself respond to the children in a very quiet voice. Scripture attests to this: “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). This doesn’t imply to me a loud voice. In dealing with the anger, I also strongly recommend Dr. S. M. Davis’ teaching audio, Freedom from the Spirit of Anger.

I don’t think the Lord wants us crying on the inside except to be calling out to Him. He is the One Who comforts us. “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). He is the One Who answers our prayers. “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). He is the One Who pours out grace into our lives and the lives of our families. “. . . My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

In our roles as mothers, we want to love, bless, and encourage our children. We would like them to live with mommies who are joyful and loving. A meek and quiet spirit leads us toward these goals, while anger destroys the relationships that are so dear to our hearts. Even though meek and quiet spirits don’t come naturally to women, the Lord has shown us that this type of heart and thinking leads to peace, contentment, and blessing. No matter how lacking we have been in our lives regarding a meek and quiet spirit, I think Paul sums up our hope and our direction. “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14).

Quietness, Confidence, and Strength

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Homeschooling moms can find themselves feeling discouraged by the constancy of their job in the midst of what they want to be the most joyful years of their lives. Here are a couple of moms with whom we might relate:

I am failing miserably and feel awful. I am irritable, cranky, and anxious. Please pray for me that I can get thru this, that God will give me strength, and that I will not be crabby to my children. A homeschooling mom

I am feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I have 3 kiddos. First of all, my 5 and 2 year olds constantly run and make noise, noise, noise. I am always tripping over train tracks, etc., because they drag all of it out into the living room. I have tried to carve out times where they play in their room or take quiet time, but they are constantly running out. I feel like I am interrupted so many times that I can’t keep a thought in my head, or get any time alone to sort out my thoughts. It is very discouraging to me. Another mom

“ . . . In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength . . .” (Isaiah 30:15). Here we read three words that can be very meaningful to a discouraged homeschooling mother: quietness, confidence, strength. We know that we want quietness of heart and confidence in the Lord; that will be our strength. However, sometimes it appears that the circumstances of noise, disorder, and pressure rob us of any quietness or confidence.

Quietness, confidence, and strength—it all comes back to our focus. Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:29-30). God’s Word tells me that Jesus’ yoke is easy, and His burden is light. That is truth. When I feel a heavy burden or difficult yoke, then something has happened that isn’t right. I can know for sure the problem lies with me and not with the Lord!

Perhaps the starting point for moving back to quietness, confidence, and strength is, “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). For my heart to remain quiet, I can’t be anxious about anything. Therefore, Philippians 4:6-7 tells me that I am to lift up my concerns in prayer. Sometimes we may feel like we are doing this, but are we really? It could be that we think about our problems, we worry about our circumstances, and we try to figure out solutions. However, do we truly and simply pray about them? When we pray, they are no longer our problems, difficult circumstances, or solutions. They belong to the Lord. He can deal with them infinitely better than we can.

Paul knew what it was to have difficulties, ones beyond what most of us have experienced. “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed . . . For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18).

While the tasks of a homeschooling mom may at times seem mundane, wearisome, and constant, our eyes must be focused not on the temporal but on the eternal. What we are doing in our homes with our children has value that goes far beyond feeding and caring for children. We are impacting their souls for eternity. The opportunity is given to us to mold the hearts of these children for Jesus Christ. The noise, discouragement, and fatigue that may accompany this high calling of mothering are nothing in comparison with the eternal benefits we can reap. Just like Paul, if we are troubled on every side, we are not to be distressed. When we are perplexed, we don’t want to be in despair. At times of feeling cast down, we know we aren’t destroyed. Paul’s secret in this was his total, wholehearted, complete commitment to the calling Jesus had given to him—his mission. That will be our secret at well—commitment to our mission as Christian mothers.

We are being renewed day by day, 2 Corinthians tells us. This doesn’t happen apart from where our thoughts are. “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:1-2). As we are seeking those things which are above and setting our affections on them, our thoughts will automatically be on Jesus. If we think about ourselves, we set ourselves up for feelings of pity, selfishness, and hopelessness. However, when our minds move to Jesus Christ, then there is joy. “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full” (John 15:9-11).

If we are to let quietness and confidence be our strength, then we will choose to give our anxieties to the Lord Jesus in prayer. We will set our minds on what is eternal rather than what is temporal. May we be homeschooling moms who have a greater focus on the calling we have to impact our children for eternity than on our own difficulties or discomforts.

A Grumbly Spirit

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For several weeks recently, I had been allowing myself to think negative thoughts. The result was that I hadn’t felt happy, had forced myself to do what I needed to do, and had been generally unpleasant. This had been a continual burden on my heart as I prayed each day. One morning I brought up my struggles to Steve while we were talking on our daily walk. He encouraged me. That discussion also began quite a thinking process as I did my cleaning later that morning. The Lord and I have some of our best “discussions” during Friday morning cleaning.

The Lord showed me the root of my problem. I had been complaining in my heart—complaining about my day being full of things I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to grade schoolwork. I didn’t want to write Mom’s Corners or books. I didn’t want to write Christmas letters or figure out what to get people for Christmas. I didn’t want to pick up after people. I didn’t want to be careful of what I ate. There was more, but I think you get the idea.

These were all things I either was doing or was going to have to do soon that I didn’t want to do but were my responsibility. Looking at that list, I see that there is nothing at all awful, bad, or even that difficult about those tasks. As a matter of fact, they are activities that I can enjoy if the circumstances are right—although I am not sure I ever enjoy checking schoolwork. It is likely some of you reading this article would think the jobs I was complaining about are wonderful jobs. For me, though, they had become burdensome to the point of a grumbling, negative overall spirit.

The Lord caused me to realize that my problem is not what I have to do but my attitude toward it. What an ungrateful attitude I had! If I were living in prison for my faith in Christ, wouldn’t I be delighted to have the opportunity to be free once again and check my children’s schoolwork each day? Wouldn’t I be rejoicing each time I sat down with those school papers? I thought about the stories I have read of Christians being separated from their families, put into sparse living conditions in a prison, forced to hard labor for endless hours, and even physically abused. What would they think of the most distasteful task I had set before me? Wouldn’t they love to be in my circumstances?

My focus on the Lord and serving had been lost in the midst of what I want to do and what I like to do. I had come to think only of myself. The more I thought about not enjoying certain tasks, the more tedious they became. It was draining—not the job, but my emotional response to it—causing me to feel tired. My thoughts discouraged me. Eleven more years of checking schoolwork! Those kinds of feelings caused me to procrastinate and let things slide to which I should have attended. This was not the kind of wife, mother, and homeschool teacher I wanted to be.

“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). My thoughts were not being brought into the obedience of Christ. As a matter of fact, the exact opposite was happening. Those thoughts were self-centered rather than God-centered and other-centered. On top of that, my selfish direction didn’t make me happy. I kept feeling more unhappy as I dwelt on what I didn’t want to do.

Here is the starting place for change. I have to confess my wrong thoughts, discontentment, grumbling, and unhappiness to the Lord as sin. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). This is such a simple step to take. It is very painless except for hurting my pride—which is a good thing to be hurt.

Next comes the truth of Jesus Christ to which my thoughts need to be obedient. “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice” (Philippians 4:4). Rejoicing—not grumbling, not complaining, not disliking, but rejoicing. The starting place for moving away from my rut of negativism was to take those thoughts captive. Instead I needed to think truth—rejoicing.

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). When I am murmuring about what I don’t want to have to do, I am not giving thanks. This verse tells me clearly that I am no longer in God’s will when I choose to be discontent rather than to give thanks. That is a heavy statement worthy of consideration. Sometimes we allow and excuse our bad attitudes when instead we should see them as sin and deal with them as such.

As I pray each day asking the Lord to strengthen me to keep my mind on His truth and not allow me to complain or focus on self, I know that is the Lord’s will for me. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). Steve often encourages me that I can make the choice to be obedient. Then, the Lord is the One Who does the work. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). It all starts with that choice I make.

If you have been struggling with a negative attitude, a complaining spirit, or a self focus, may I encourage you to begin by recognizing that is not God’s will for you. See it as sin and ask forgiveness. Make the choice to be obedient by rejoicing, being thankful, and taking your thoughts captive. Go to the Lord, asking Him to help because His grace is sufficient, and we can do all things through Him.

First Day of School

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August 11th marked the Maxwell family’s nineteenth first day of school. We celebrated that night, because it was our very best first day of school ever! Generally the first day of school is one that I look forward to with great excitement. However, the reality of living through it most often has generated discouragement and frustration. It is not unheard of in the Maxwell home for Mom to be crying by dinnertime on those momentous first days of school. I have been known to say to Steve, “It was a zoo here today, dear. I have no idea how we will ever get any real schoolwork done.”

Since I have experienced nineteen first days of school, and since I really, really like happy first days of school, and since I truly, truly, truly want to learn from all of our failures, perhaps I can share some of my first day of school experiences with you. It could be that your first days of school have been much like mine, and that you, too, would love to have one you could celebrate.

First-Day-of-School Traditions

When Nathan started school, he attended a private, Christian school for three years. On the first day of school, I always took a photo of him before he left home in the morning. There he stood with his lunch box in one hand and his pack on his back, sporting his tidy blue-and-white uniform. Each year’s photo shows him a bit bigger but just as cute. Therefore, when we began homeschooling, we decided to continue first-day-of-school photos. Without lunch boxes, the children hold their favorite school books in their hands for the picture-taking session.

Another tradition we have for our first day of school is special school supply surprises. While school supplies are on sale at the stores, I will shop for any school supplies the children need. I purchase notebooks, notebook paper, notebook tabs, pencils, pens, colored pencils, pencil pouches, small whiteboards, whiteboard markers, scissors, rulers, glue sticks, crayons, tape—although not each of these every year. Since our materials often last us more than one year, it can be challenging coming up with needed supplies, so sometimes I resort to buying not-so-needed-but-fun supplies. Each child finds a stack of school surprises by his spot on the dining room table on the first day of school.

Because pencils being left out in the house are a problem here, I purchase the children pencils with different outside colors. I discovered that there are pencils with not only yellow on the outside but also green, black, and wood color. There are different colored bands around the yellow pencils in various packs. I give each child a couple of sets of pencils, different from his siblings, and then when a pencil is left out, I know to whom it belongs. Plus, if the child loses all of his pencils before the school year is over, he can buy his own replacements.

Finally, the first day of school will often bring with it a special breakfast. Because of having children living at home who drive, I have the advantage of being able to suggest to Sarah that we could enjoy donuts for the first-day-of-school breakfast if she has time to go to the grocery store that morning. She is very accommodating, and donuts are a great treat in our family.

The Change

While these first-day-of-school traditions have been in place for quite a while, this is the first year that I realized the biggest failure of my first day of school. We typically do these traditions on the first day of school and also attempt a normal day of academic schoolwork. This year, the week before our first real day of school we had another first day of school. You might call it a pre-first day of school. I scheduled no academic work for that day, only our first-day-of-school traditions. It was a little like registration day used to be when I went to school.

Because each of these practical and memory-making activities we do on the first day of school takes up time, we would be frustrated trying to get normal school completed. We spent several hours doing our pre-first day of school. No wonder I have been frustrated with what I was trying to fit into our previous first days of school.

After the special breakfast and school surprises on our pre-first day of school, I had a one-on-one meeting with each child. We went through his schedule and looked at all his books. For my fourth and fifth graders, I read out loud with them their first spelling lesson because they do that on their own. Often they will struggle with things that are very simple, because they try to fill in blanks without reading the material. This was an opportunity to teach them how to do their spelling lessons effectively.

Each child from fourth grade on up has a school notebook. This year we finally got them organized. We have used notebooks for organizing schoolwork for several years, but I am generally frustrated with them. We hadn’t taken the time to plan how many tabs each child needed and what the tabs should be labeled. Then the history tests and quizzes were mixed in with the daily history work and difficult to find come “study-for-nine-week-exam” time. The writing was somewhere in the spelling section because we didn’t have enough tabs. You get the picture, I am sure.

This year I made a list of what each child would need as far as number of tabs and what they should be labeled. I bought enough tabs for their notebooks and for my notebook. I included the children’s tabs in their school supply surprises. During our one-on-one meeting we labeled the tabs and alphabetized them, too. That was another problem. With three children (four this year) with schoolwork in notebooks, I was always struggling through the tabs to locate the right one. Every child had the tabs set up in a different order. I don’t care much for checking schoolwork to begin with, so anything I can do to make it easier is a benefit to me. Even having readable tabs that are in order helps.

After lunch, Sarah, one of our family photographers, did the first-day-of-school photos. Getting five children to choose their photo props, get the camera setting correct, pose each one individually for photos, and then put them together as a group is not a five-minute project. Again, this was time that was pulled from what normally was a full academic school day. None of us likes to finish school at dinnertime.

While what we did on our pre-first day of school are small, little tasks, each one adds up to extra time away from schoolwork. Having these activities planned for a day when we weren’t going to do any normal schoolwork was wonderful. I know it was a major factor in our super-duper, best-ever first day of school. May I encourage you to look at your previous first days of school, and if they aren’t what you would like them to be, try to determine why they weren’t. Then make the necessary changes. You will be glad you did, and perhaps it won’t take you nineteen years of trying.