All posts by Teri Maxwell

Teri Maxwell is wife to Steve for over 40 years, mom to eight children (three married), and grandma to eight. She loves keeping her home running smoothly and sharing with women in the vein of Titus 2:4&5. Teri homeschooled for thirty years, and she's graduated all her children. In between her other responsibilities, she manages to squeeze in writing time. She is co-author of the popular Managers of Their Homes and Managers of Their Chores. In addition, Teri's written three books just for ladies Homeschooling with a Meek & Quiet Spirit, Sweet Journey, and Sweet Relationships. She has been writing monthly encouragement articles for homeschool moms for 25 years. Find more information on Teri Maxwell and her books.

News and Children’s Internet Usage – Part 2

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Last month, I answered the first part of an e-mail written to us from a mom wanting some input in a couple of areas of her life. One of those areas had to do with reading the newspaper and the discouragement it brings to her heart. If you want to read that Mom’s Corner, here is the link. This is the e-mail with the questions.

“I was wondering if you have advice on whether or not (and how much if so) to read the news. I find it can be so discouraging to read truthfully and yet know that we should have some awareness of what is going on in the world. I’d love to hear advice on how your family manages in this area.

“I was also wondering if you’d ever be willing to share how you were able to introduce your children to the Internet. I have taken perhaps an extreme approach and not allowed my sons access unless I am sitting next to them, and yet know that now that they are 15 and 18 I need to transition them and train them in this area. I’ve been at a loss for how to manage and would greatly appreciate any advice you can pass along!”

I am going to start by answering a question that I received from a couple of moms after reading last month’s Mom’s Corner where I shared our family’s journey to not being involved in the news. The question I was asked was how we know who to vote for when it is election time, and how do we get political information. At election time, we receive mailings from candidates and from Christian organizations that will tell us where the candidates stand on various issues. We can also get on the Internet to research the candidates.

When there are political things going on with homeschooling, we find out because we are part of Home School Legal Defense Association. They have e-mail alerts that let us know if there is something we need to bring to our congressmen’s attention. Kansans for Life inform us of what is going on in Kansas and the United States concerning the pro-life agenda and also concerning abortion. To be honest, we wonder why Christians would ever think they are receiving helpful political information from the worldly, liberal, biased media.

Now I want to move to addressing the question about our children and their Internet usage. As our children have been growing up in the computer age, we have chosen to see the computer as a tool, not a toy for entertainment. Therefore, the computer isn’t used for games, videos, surfing, chatting, social networking, or fun. The computer is used to meet a need like learning to type, typing answers to questions in a school book, doing income taxes, writing letters, tracking finances, looking for an automotive part for the bus, finding a recipe, and scrapbooking.

The Internet has much potential for polluting our children’s minds. We want them to understand that while the computer is a tool they are allowed to use, it is dangerous just as a power tool can be dangerous when it is mishandled. As far as Internet for our children, we have chosen to be very cautious and limiting with their Internet access. “. . . I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes. . .” (Psalms 101:2-3).

We have high levels of Internet parental-control security on all of our computers. Steve and I choose to live with the parental controls on our Internet for our personal protection, for our children’s protection, and as an example to them. This security blocks our computers from accessing Web sites that are in categories we have deemed unacceptable for our family. I am the only one who has access to what is needed to change those security settings. This provides a great deal of protection for our children on the Internet. We still have additional levels of accountability and sheltering regarding our children and their computers. (We use a free family filter called K9, although there is a small fee if you are a business user.)

Because all of the adults in our family use computers for their livelihood, they must upgrade computers regularly. That means the old computers are passed down to the children. Beginning this school year, even our twelve-year-old had a laptop computer—one that Nathan bought new for work, then I used it for several years, next Sarah had it, followed by Jesse, and now it belongs to Mary. Though our children have their own computers by age twelve or so, they do not have Internet access on their computers.

At this point, only the children over eighteen have access to the Internet on their computers. Joseph (20) and John (18) use the Internet when a sibling is sitting beside them who can see their screens. That gives an added level of accountability. Even my husband, Steve, and older son, Christopher, have an open-door policy with their computer work. Any family member can walk into their offices and observe what they are doing on their computers. Sarah and I have full access to look over their systems as well, and we receive reports on where each person has gone on the Internet.

The younger children, ages 12, 14, and 16, can use the Internet on a family member’s computer if they are being supervised. Sometimes this is inconvenient in our family, not only for the one who wants to use the Internet, but also for the one giving accountability. However, this is a level of sheltering that is important to us. It is vital to us not only for our children, but also for Steve and me.

Joseph, John, Anna, and Jesse have e-mail capability on their computers, but they send and receive all their e-mail only through Steve’s computer. This protects them from e-mail spam in general, but particularly from the spam that is morally corrupting. For free e-mail accounts, we have found Gmail to be much less objectionable than many others that offer free e-mail. Many of our family members have Gmail accounts.

While we are discussing our children and Internet usage, we should consider the example we as moms are setting for our children. There are many moms who appear to spend a great amount of time on the computer—e-mailing, writing blogs, visiting blogs, participating in chat rooms and message boards, instant messaging, and just surfing.

What example is being set for the children? Are we addicted to our computer time? Are we setting an appetite in our children’s hearts to spend their time on the computer? Are daily tasks being avoided for the computer? Are relationship-building activities taking second place to a computer screen? Do we want our children to remember a mom who was continually sitting in front of the computer? Do they see us as always anxious to leave behind daily tasks to get to the computer? Does this use of our time bring God glory? “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him” (Colossians 3:17).

Sometimes I wonder if the Internet is a modern-day version of the wandering from house to house that is described in this verse: “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not” (1 Timothy 5:13). Is it possible that moms who say they are too busy to read their Bibles every day are spending time on their computers? Would the Lord have us invest our time in our relationship with Him, relationships with our husbands and children, homemaking, and serving others rather than with the computer? I think these are good questions for us to consider prayerfully with the Lord.

The computer, Internet, and e-mail are wonderful tools that we and our children have at our disposal. However, they bring with them the potential of wasting much time, of becoming addicting, and even of ruining lives. We must consider the negative aspects of the computer when we are allowing the computer into our lives and the lives of our children. May we be extremely cautious with the computer. May we seek the Lord for how He would have us use it, the parameters He would direct us to, and the safeguards to have in place.

News and Children’s Internet Usage – Part 1

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Once again this month’s Mom’s Corner is a response to an e-mail question we received that we felt might be something other moms were grappling with as well as the mom who wrote the e-mail. This mom writes:

“I was wondering if you have advice on whether or not (and how much if so) to read the news. I find it can be so discouraging to read truthfully and yet know that we should have some awareness of what is going on in the world. I’d love to hear advice on how your family manages in this area.

“I was also wondering if you’d ever be willing to share how you were able to introduce your children to the Internet. I have taken perhaps an extreme approach and not allowed my sons access unless I am sitting next to them, and yet know that now that they are 15 and 18 I need to transition them and train them in this area. I’ve been at a loss for how to manage and would greatly appreciate any advice you can pass along!”

About twenty years ago, Steve and I decided to stop taking the newspaper. By that point in our lives, we had already quit watching TV, so we didn’t have news exposure except through the newspaper and radio. Our older children were then ages where they could read well, and they picked up anything in the house they could find to read, including the newspaper. Because of this, Steve and I became aware of how news stories were impacting our children. In the process, we evaluated our own reception of that information.

What we found was that a great majority of the news was filled with evil, wickedness, and violence. We were sheltering our children from as much of the vileness of the world as we could, but through reading an article in the newspaper about a horrible crime, they could within just a few minutes be exposed to and educated in the most despicable levels of unrighteousness imaginable.

These verses became key in our decision to eliminate the newspaper from our home. “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret” (Ephesians 5:11-12). By reading the newspaper, we were on the listening end of what was being spoken of that was done in secret. In that knowledge of evil deeds, a level of fellowship with unrighteousness was accomplished. Even though our hearts despised the wickedness, it was still in our thoughts.

This verse also played a part in our decision: “. . . yet I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil” (Romans 16:19). How could our children, or even Steve and me, be simple concerning evil if we were reading the worst of the crimes committed in our community, our nation, and the world?

There was an easy solution to this problem, and that was to stop taking the newspaper. However, as was often true of our decisions like this one, it took a little longer to actually take the step to call and cancel the paper. That was because I was used to reading, or at least skimming the newspaper, and I found it enjoyable. In the letting-go process, I came to see that I had made the newspaper somewhat of an idol in my life. This became evident because of the difficulty I had in letting it go even though I could see it wasn’t good for my family or for me.

After stopping the newspaper, we rolled our zeal to be “informed” over to listening to the news on the radio. All the reasons for not reading a newspaper held true for not listening to the radio news except that now even the younger children, who couldn’t yet read, could be exposed to wickedness and evil. Soon we stopped listening to the radio news.

Here is what we can tell you about living without reading the newspaper or Internet news or listening to the radio news. Our children are protected from the evil information that comes through the news, and if for no other reason than that, we are overjoyed to have eliminated that knowledge of unrighteousness from our lives.

An unexpected blessing has been that my heart is much more peaceful because knowing of the evil and wickedness in the world often caused me to be fearful and worried. I would wonder if something like I had read about might happen to my family. If the news was about the possibility of war, I was fearful. If it brought tidings of gloom and doom on the economic scene, I worried about our family’s future. There was seldom good, uplifting news.

When I wasn’t reading or hearing the news, I was able to focus on loving my family, doing what the Lord Jesus had called me to do in my home, and ministering to those He brought into my path. This was much better use of my time and emotional energy than worrying about issues for which I had no control.

Somehow, we find out about major happenings in the world, our nation, and our local community. For example, the economic crisis our country is experiencing is discussed regularly as we interact with others in our town. When there was a plane crash, it was being talked about in the checkout line at the grocery store. However, we have discovered that people don’t usually tend to discuss publicly the evil and wicked crimes that are described in detail in the news. Therefore, we are free from that knowledge of unrighteousness, and we have a very small amount of information about local, national, and world events.

It seems that our world has convinced us that it is critically important for everyone to be continually informed via the news in one form or another. If one would choose not to watch the news, read it, or listen to it, our society makes it appear that we are uneducated and less of a person. Have you ever considered the amount of time Christians spend becoming informed via the news? We wonder how many spend that much time in the Word. What would happen if Christians invested their news time in Bible study or ministry?

We have no desire to go back to what we learned via the news. The freedom in our spirits, thoughts, and home is such a great blessing to us. Perhaps you have never considered that you could make the choice to not invest time in the news. Maybe you have thought there would be negative consequences if you weren’t informed about local, national, or world events. May I encourage you to consider what blessings you might receive in your life if you quit the news. Next month I will respond to the second question that was asked in the opening e-mail.

Celebrating Birthdays

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Once again this Mom’s Corner is written because of a Mom’s Corner request. This is what was asked:

I would like to know how your family celebrates birthdays. It seems like in this generation of kids, birthdays have gotten out of control (having a party every year, having jump castles, treat bags for guests, etc.). My husband and I did not grow up like that. We can remember having a party for one or two of the milestone years (16) but only immediate family otherwise. You know, Mom fixes your favorite meal and a cake (flavor and icing your choice). We have 4 daughters ages 7, 5, 4, and 2. They are invited to a lot of these types of big blowout parties. They, of course, then want to have a party like that. We have a large, close family and if aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents are invited, we could easily have 20-30 people before any friends are invited. We usually end up having everyone over for ice cream and cake and even that seems like a BIG party to us. I would LOVE and appreciate your insight on this issue.

When our older children were little, we allowed them to attend birthday parties and gave them birthday parties as well, although not a party for each child every year. We soon found some significant drawbacks of these birthday parties. One of the biggest problems with the birthday party was the extreme amount of selfishness it created in our child. For weeks before the birthday party, the child could talk of nothing except his party. During the party, the excitement was over opening the gifts, and as soon as one party ended, the child was already planning the next one.

Our desire is to raise children who have learned to deny themselves. “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). The whole mentality of children’s birthday parties is quite the opposite of any denying of self because it is actually feeding self. After just a few birthday parties, we realized we didn’t want to continue fueling this amount of selfishness, and we simply said we would only have family birthday parties in the future.

That decision was made about twenty-five years ago, so our younger children have never experienced having a birthday party or attending one either. When we chose not to have birthday parties with other children invited to them, we also decided not to allow our children to attend other children’s birthday parties. Since we knew we wouldn’t be reciprocating with a birthday party, it didn’t seem right to us to accept invitations to others’ parties. One benefit of this decision is that it began protecting our children from unforeseen influences at birthday parties they had been attending. Sometimes when an invitation arrived, it caused us to wonder what activities would be occurring at the party. It is very awkward to call a parent questioning the special plans they have for their child’s party. Our new policy helped us avoid these situations.

Our birthdays are very simple, but we delight in birthdays because we love each other so much. We use birthdays to honor the birthday child by focusing our love and attention on him. Keeping an eye on our children’s hearts and seeking a balance in honoring them versus growing demanding attitudes in them is important to us as we celebrate family birthdays. There are times when we pull back some of the privileges that normally attend a child’s birthday because by his pre-birthday talk we can see a self-focus growing. However, in general, we believe the level of birthday celebration we have settled into has helped to build our family unity while not fueling our children’s natural propensity to selfishness.

The day before the birthday, the girls make birthday signs for the windows. We learned this idea from close family friends of ours. The birthday signs celebrate the special qualities of the birthday child, and the signs are taped to the windows in the living room and dining room. We also celebrate with birthday banners, balloons, and crepe paper streamers. On the front door, we use glass markers to write a brief Scripture for the birthday person (see this blog post for an example).

Usually the birthday child chooses a birthday breakfast from a choice of two or three favorite breakfast meals. He also picks his preferred lunch from our weekly lunch menu. For dinner, he decides on both a main dish and dessert. We invite Grandad and Grandma, who live right around the corner, and our married son with his family for the birthday dinner and party.

On birthdays, we encourage the family to do special things for the birthday child throughout the day as possible such as taking over his normal chores. We also encourage the birthday child to use his birthday as an opportunity to help and serve his family. Often the birthday child will make his birthday dessert, help with meal preparations, or work with the clean up crew.

When we began homeschooling, I would give the children their birthday off school. However, we started to see the children becoming possessive and demanding of not having to do school on their birthdays. Sometimes, because of other circumstances, it was necessary for them to do some or all of their normal schoolwork on their birthday. This could create bad attitudes in the birthday child. Observing this pattern when it occurred caused us to decide it was best to keep birthdays as normal school days. Then, if on occasion, we chose to lighten or skip school for the birthday child, it was received as an added gift of the day rather than demanded as something owed to them.

Part of our birthday party is always family Bible time. This comes before gift opening. Our children delight in purchasing birthday presents for each other, and a great deal of thought, prayer, and planning goes into each birthday present. Often our children shop together as teams so that they have more buying power. They evaluate and try to meet needs in the birthday child’s life through the present they give him.

In leaving behind the trappings of giving and attending children’s birthday parties, we have discovered a joy in the simplicity of family birthday parties. This allows our children to love and honor their birthday sibling. In the midst of birthday celebrations, we are watching the birthday child’s heart so that he doesn’t become selfish and demanding because of the birthday focus. We encourage each family to seek the Lord Jesus for what would be pleasing for their birthday celebrations.

Bickering, Complaining, and Time Pressure – Part 2

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We are in the midst of a Mom’s Corner series addressing the questions raised in this e-mail:

“I was just reading your latest Mom’s Corner and was wondering about you addressing something in the future. We are trying to raise five children, ages six years down to eight months, in the way God would want. I am having difficulty with bickering, bickering, and more bickering. The children complain about having to do chores and not getting enough play time because they have to do school. We are homeschooling. I try to explain that we help each other and should treat each other as we would have others treat us. Also of note . . . I feel my time is so divided, especially with twin eight-month-olds. I don’t feel like I have the time to do all the things that need to be done, such as when it comes to get the children to listen and be kind to each other. I know that this should be the priority, but it seems too hard.” Mom to Five

If you haven’t read Part 1 of this series, I suggest you read it so that you know what has already been said. This month I would like to move into considering how a mom would deal with the children’s continual bickering on a daily basis. Keep in mind the suggestions from last month, which advised that family time in the Word, having a mindset that raising children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is a long-term project, and addressing sin in our own lives is the starting place.

I would encourage Mom to be in prayer concerning the problems she is observing in her children’s lives, such as sibling squabbles. This prayer would be during the mom’s daily Bible reading and prayer time and also each time that there is a particular situation that arises. Here is a good verse for Mom to pray for herself: “Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad. . .” (1 Kings 3:9). When praying for the children, this is one of many verses that would be powerful: “Lord Jesus, would You teach my children to ‘Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering'” (Colossians 3:12).

In looking back on my mothering with small children, I regret that I wasn’t as faithful in praying for my children and for myself, regarding specific issues, as I could have been. Regularly there were times when I simply dished out the consequence without taking time for prayer either in my heart or with the children. When we pray with our children at these moments, we are beginning the discipleship process of teaching them to rely on the Lord Jesus Christ, to look to Him for strength when we are weak, and also to confess sin to Him. That is every bit as important as teaching them to be nice to each other, and therefore, it is worthy of our time investment.

“Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul” (Proverbs 29:17). Obviously, the mom who wrote me the e-mail would testify that her children are not giving her rest or bringing delight to her soul. The solution to that problem is offered her in Proverbs: correct thy son. However, I can also testify that this correction needs to be consistently used if we hope to see it become effective.

That means we must know what we are going to use for a consequence if the children are bickering. When our children were younger, we had two main consequences to use if they were squabbling with each other. The first one was to sit each of the children involved in the situation on a dining room chair with a kitchen timer set for a pre-determined number of minutes. For our younger children, this was usually five to ten minutes, but if there were return visits to the chair in the same day, the time might be increased. We wanted the consequence to be effective and help to motivate the children to change their behavior. If the chair-sitting time wasn’t enough to do this, then it needed to be longer. By sitting the offending children on a chair, I removed them from whatever was creating the conflict between them. In addition, we gained a period of time for cooling off. It was difficult to work through the problem with the children when their emotions were running high, and they were greatly involved in the situation.

The second consequence we used came from this verse in Proverbs: “Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife” (Proverbs 17:1). We grind our own wheat and make our bread. My little children preferred the soft inner pieces of bread versus the outside crusts, so I dried the crusts to be used for bread crumbs. However, at one point in our parenting, Steve and I realized that those dry crusts could provide us with a perfect consequence for children who weren’t being nice to each other.

We began having the children who were part of the conflict come to the dining room table to eat a dry crust. We briefly reviewed Proverbs 17:1 with them and explained that we would rather eat dry morsels all the time and have a peaceful home than to eat the way we usually eat, but with strife amongst family members. This was a simple consequence that I could use consistently—as long as I had some dry crusts available. It removed the children from the problematic situation, and it reinforced the Biblical analogy found in Proverbs 17:1.

With my children, I found it was important not to allow myself to be drawn into the children’s excuse making and not let them argue about a consequence. “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit” (Proverbs 26:4-5). Each child usually felt that he was right and his sibling was wrong, making him full of excuses for his behavior. The truth was usually that either child could have chosen to be kind, thereby avoiding the problem. I did watch to see if a particular child might often be the aggressor in the situations so that I could be especially vigilant in trying to help him learn to be more loving.

I also used these times to work with the children to help them know how they could have done or said something differently in order to have avoided the conflict. My job was not only to correct my children but to teach them how to be nice to each other and how to resolve their own problems. That meant I told them what each of them could have done to have prevented the squabble or to have ended it once it was started.

We worked with our children in helping them recognize the sin in their lives in relation to the bickering that had transpired. We wanted them to be able to repent of their sin, confessing it to the Lord Jesus and to the one they had offended. We were teaching them to go to their sibling and ask his forgiveness for whatever they had done wrong.

When our children were little, we went through this process over and over again—consequences and teaching, consequences and teaching. Because the children were young, it sometimes seemed like we weren’t making very good progress in these areas. However, with each advancing year and a backward look, we could see that, step by step, the relationships were improving. The older the children became, the fewer conflicts there were between them and the fewer consequences that were needed.

Dealing on a daily basis with the bickering that can go on between siblings has a way of wearing a mom down. She needs to be dependent on the Lord Jesus Christ and be proactive in teaching the children how to avoid or resolve conflict. As we work with our children in these areas, we are following directives of the Word to bring our children up in both the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.

Bickering, Complaining, and Time Pressure – Part 1

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Recently, I received a request for a Mom’s Corner. Since it asks questions that come up fairly frequently, I thought the e-mail would make a good Mom’s Corner introduction.

“I was just reading your latest Mom’s Corner and was wondering about you addressing something in the future. We are trying to raise five children, ages six years down to eight months, in the way God would want. I am having difficulty with bickering, bickering, and more bickering. The children complain about having to do chores and not getting enough play time because they have to do school. We are homeschooling. I try to explain that we help each other and should treat each other as we would have others treat us. Also of note . . . I feel my time is so divided, especially with twin eight-month-olds. I don’t feel like I have the time to do all the things that need to be done, such as when it comes to get the children to listen and be kind to each other. I know that this should be the priority, but it seems too hard.” Mom to Five

There are three key areas that were addressed in this e-mail that I believe any mom with more than one child will experience. The first has to do with how one deals with continual squabbling between siblings, especially young ones. The second question involves children who complain about having to work and do school. The final one is the mom’s issue rather than the children’s problem, but having children and homeschooling certainly compounds the struggle this mom is experiencing of time pressures.

The heart and root of the children’s difficulties can be nicely addressed during family Bible time. As the family is in the Word every day, Dad can draw the children’s attention to Scripture that applies to the problems at hand. In Steve’s Dad’s Corner this month, he is discussing this same e-mail and how Dad can be a part of the solution. He is giving dads ideas of how they can use family Bible time to help their children spiritually. It is important for Mom to be communicating with Dad the struggles she is seeing in the children’s lives because she is the one who is around the children the most, and she is aware of what is happening in the hearts of the children.

While I believe family Bible time is the starting place for attacking the heart issues that cause both bickering and complaining, we still need to know how to deal with it every time it happens in daily life. A key ingredient in this process is what we, as moms, do with our thoughts when we continually have to face sibling squabbles and a child’s complaining. We have two choices concerning our thoughts. Will we be filled with anger, self pity, and worry? Will we take our thoughts captive? “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

One way to take our thoughts captive is to have correct expectations. Expect that raising children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4) is a long-term process. It is going to take time, consistency, perseverance, prayer, and just plain hard work. Don’t expect that you focus on the problem for a week and then have children who no longer are unkind to each other. Instead be grateful for each situation that arises and the opportunity it affords to pray for, disciple, and correct your children—all important aspects of raising them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. When this is our mindset, it is easier to patiently respond to the situations that arise with the children throughout each day.

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1). As mothers, bringing up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is part of the spiritual race that is set before us. We must address the sin in our own lives, and then run that race with patience.

If we are regularly angry with the children over their wrong attitudes, then that is sin in our hearts that we must address. They are simply mirroring what they observe in us. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

These verses not only tell us that anger is sin, but they also give us an antidote, which is particularly applicable to mothers, for that sin: kindness and tenderheartedness. When a mom is correcting her children for their bickering or complaining, if she will pull the child to her, hug the child, and put a few kisses on him before she begins to deal with the child’s problem, she will find her heart softening toward the child. It will help her not be angry with him and be able to gently admonish him, giving any necessary consequences without being harsh.

Are we crying out to the Lord Jesus for victory over the sin that we know is in our lives? We are dependent on the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives. “Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live” (Romans 8:12-13). It is through the Spirit that we take our thoughts captive and mortify the sin in our lives.

There is much more that I would like to share regarding the questions posed in the introductory e-mail of this article. The starting place is family time in the Word that takes Scripture and makes it applicable to the daily problems our children are facing. The next step involves Mom’s expectations of her children and her determination to see this project as a long-term one, which she tackles with perseverance and patience. She has to take her thoughts captive so that she isn’t dwelling on the negative. Then Mom wants to look into her own heart to evaluate whether there is sin in her life that might be contributing to the children’s sin. May we be women who use every difficulty we face to turn our faces to the One Who can help us, Jesus Christ.

Children’s Personal Bible Time

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Again this month the topic for the Mom’s Corner comes from a specific request. Here is what was asked:

“I’d like to know more of how you have taught your children to have their own personal devotion time. Is it modeling and the enthusiasm from your family Bible time that encourages them, or have you ‘taught’ them how to do it? I wonder if you give your children journal questions to get them started, such as ‘what did you learn about God from this passage?’ etc. I suppose my bigger question is how do you encourage your children to think about what they are reading as opposed to reading, checking it off a list, and moving on?

“Do you require it or wait until they desire that time themselves? We have devotions as a family, but our children seem unmotivated to have their own personal time with the Lord.

“Although I read the Word, I’ve realized over the last year, with great disturbance, that I, myself, have never learned how to ‘study’ the Word beyond simply reading it. I can understand their frustration at not knowing where to start, what certain passages mean, etc. I am trying to learn by reading books on ‘how to study the Bible,’ because the Holy Spirit has given me the hunger and desire to learn; but how do I encourage my children?”

“And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Ephesians 6:17). “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). We want our children to have the sword of the Spirit available to them, and we want the Word to work continually in their hearts. We know that this comes through the personal familiarity they gain in discovering what the Bible says and teaches.

We desire that our children would take with them throughout their lives a habit of spending time every day personally reading their Bibles. This habit has to be developed and nurtured while they are living in our home. We believe it begins with the example that Steve and I set for them. If we don’t make personal Bible reading a priority in our lives, we can’t encourage the children in it or expect it of them. That means that Steve and I both, faithfully every day, have time alone with the Lord for Bible reading and prayer.

We have seen the vital importance of Dad setting the example of personally spending time in the Word every day, in addition to Mom. Steve verbally encourages the children in the importance of their time in the Word. He often shares his enthusiasm for his Bible reading time, his desire for even more of it, his joy in what he is learning, and highlights of what is exciting to him from what he read that day. Certainly, this is important from Mom as well, but Dad is the spiritual leader and head of the home. It is critical that this is Dad’s heart if it is to be passed on to the children.

As soon as our children can read fairly well on their own—usually around age eight—we give them the family, large-print Bible we have kept specifically for our younger readers. At that point, they are given the privilege of getting up earlier in the morning when the older children are rising so that they may also have their time in the Word, like their bigger siblings. “O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee. . .” (Psalms 63:1). In our family, personal Bible time is scheduled for the same time in the morning so that there isn’t noise and distraction from other family members’ activities while we are reading.

Steve and I work together on bedtimes to allow for a reasonable amount of sleep for the children while maintaining the priority of early-morning individual Bible time. Five of our children have their Bible time in the living room at the same time Daddy is having his Bible time in the living room. The others have theirs in another room of the house. While there are several people who are all in the living room at that time, there is no conversation because each person is individually reading his Bible. Steve loves having his children gathered with him spread out through the living room reading their Bibles in that early-morning hour before the busyness of the day begins. It also helps him to make sure each one is staying on task. Steve is always communicating with his children concerning the importance of their time in the Word and encouraging them in it.

When a child begins to have personal Bible time, Steve gives him a reading assignment—usually he has him begin in the New Testament. After the child has had daily Bible time for six months, then Steve buys him his own Bible and Bible cover. Most of our children have a Thompson Chain Reference Bible, a Study Bible, or both. They read during their personal Bible time and have the chain reference or study notes available if they have questions about what they have read and want to do more study.

Our family Bible time in the evening teaches the children how to read passages, think about them, ask questions about what they mean, look at cross references, and most importantly, how to apply it to daily life. These are all tools that they learn together and then have at their disposal during their personal Bible time without having to go through a Bible study book or class to be taught what to do. “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

As the children grow, Steve continues to work with them as to where in the Bible they will be reading. He is watching them, considering areas for them to read that would be helpful for specific struggles they are having. Sometimes a child will have a particular book or two that he wants to read. Other times a child desires to read through the Bible or through the New Testament. Once the children reach twelve or thirteen years of age, Steve generally allows them to choose where they will read for their personal Bible time.

About two years ago, Steve was given a wide-margin Bible, which he uses for his personal time in the Word. As he reads, he writes notes in the margin. He has realized the benefit of that for his own spiritual growth. Resulting from this, we have begun to purchase wide-margin Bibles for some of our children, and Steve is encouraging them to make personal notes in the margin as they read.

Our children’s personal Bible time is not a time that we have felt should be invested in deep Bible study. Rather it is a time for relationship building with the Lord Jesus Christ. We want them reading with an eye for how the Word applies to their daily lives. We desire that they would have a hunger for the Word and a delight in it.

When our children are in high school, Steve has them read through the Bible, outlining it as they go. They do this as a combination of individual Bible time and some school time. In addition to the Bible outline, they will also develop a personal doctrinal statement with verses to back up each point of doctrine on the statement.

We like to see our children take the habit of daily Bible reading with them into their adult lives. Steve and I know the importance time in the Word has had in our lives and our personal relationships with the Lord Jesus. We also hear regularly from people who have major spiritual problems in their homes and personal lives. Almost always they are not reading their Bibles consistently. As we prepare our children for life, we are choosing to give them the most solid foundation possible—one built on the precious rock of the Word. “Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock” (Matthew 7:24-25).

Using Scripture in Training Our Children

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After a recent Mom’s Corner where I shared that we chose to use Scripture if our children need correction or encouragement, I received this e-mail:

“I loved the discussion on Scripture memory. Teri stated that she likes to quote Scripture when dealing with issues in discipline, etc. I was wondering if you have anything for some of us just getting back to using the Bible on a daily basis that we could use as well.

“For example, I loved the verse on mumbling, and it was helpful to know there is one in there on that topic. It will also help me expand my memory and learn more in the process.” A mom

As I answered this e-mail and told the mom that we didn’t have a resource such as she was looking for, I began to encourage her in what I would suggest she do. When I did that, I realized what I was sharing with her was something I wanted to suggest to others in a Mom’s Corner.

Our main basis for using Scripture with our children in situations where they are doing something they shouldn’t do or are not doing what they should is 2 Timothy 3:16, which says, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” Another applicable verse is Psalms 119:71, which tells us, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.” We see a basis for using Scripture as we discipline our children in Ephesians 6:4: “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” As we base discipline on Scripture, we are bringing our children up both in the nurture and in the admonition of the Lord.

While some indicate that tying Scripture to consequences will give the children a negative attitude toward Scripture, that has not been our philosophy or experience. Certainly if a parent were to use the Word while he was angry and disciplining a child, then the effects on the child would not be positive. Remember that James 1:20 says, “For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” When we want the fruit of the Spirit to grow in our children’s lives, it is imperative that we are not angry as we rebuke them.

In order to use Scripture with our children, we have to know it, be striving to apply it in our lives, and then recognize situations where we can use it. In hindsight, I would like to have done this more with my children. I believe that it takes a purposeful effort on my part to be prepared and to follow through with applying Scripture to the daily events both in my life and in my children’s lives.

If I use Scripture with my children in the situations that arise throughout the day, look at the wonderful opportunity it gives me to begin developing the habit in their lives of thinking of Scripture and relating it to what is currently happening. For me as a Christian this has not come naturally, perhaps because I was saved as an adult and wasn’t used to thinking of the Lord and Scripture throughout the day. That is probably why I have had to work so hard on learning the Scripture, thinking about it, and applying it to situations in my own life and then with the children. However, through the use of Scripture with my children, I can help them make the application of the Word easier and more habitual for themselves than it has been for me.

The starting place for this purposeful effort in using Scripture with your children would be during your own personal time in the Word every day. Have a notebook with your Bible so that you can copy into the notebook verses that you find that would be applicable to situations with your children. I would suggest beginning by going through the Epistles in the New Testament during your Bible reading. There are many good verses in those books.

I will give you several examples. You could use these categories as a starting place and add other verses to them, plus other categories as needed. You will find plenty of verses as you go.

Child is bickering with a sibling or being unkind:
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering. (Colossians 3:12)

Child is angry:
But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. (Colossians 3:8)

Child is unhappy:
Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. (Philippians 4:4)

Child is worried:
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Child isn’t content:
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. (Philippians 4:11)

Child says, “It is too hard,” when asked to do something:
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (Philippians 4:13)

Child isn’t being kind to his siblings:
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. (Colossians 3:12-13)

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil. (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)

Child is lying:
Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him. (Colossians 3:9-10)

Child isn’t obeying:
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (Colossians 3:20)

Child is proud:
. . . Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. (1 Peter 5:5-6)

Do you see how practical and applicable the Word is for those situations our children will face on a daily basis? These years with our children in our homes are our opportunities to disciple our children. The Word is our ally in this task. “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). There is a power behind God’s Word. It brings a new dynamic into being that is absolutely needed in discipling children and bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Please remember that our attitude in this discipleship process is very important. If we have a critical spirit toward our children, or if we use the verses with condemnation or a hard tone in our voice, we will drive a wedge in our relationship with them and most likely in their relationships with the Lord Jesus. If we want our children to be open to the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives, then we will use Scripture gently, with the fruit of the Spirit evident in our own lives. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).

Is my attitude toward my child one of love when I give him a correction, or am I frustrated with him for the situation, which has created an inconvenience for me? Does my tone of voice and countenance demonstrate the joy of the Lord, or do they show my unhappiness with the child? Is there peace in my heart or anxiousness? Am I patient or irritated? Am I gentle or harsh? Those verses in Galatians give us a very good gauge by which to evaluate the way we use Scripture with our children, particularly if we are rebuking them.

We want to use these years we are raising our children to teach them to obey the Lord Jesus Christ and to depend on His strength. We can do that as we disciple our children by using the Word. However, we must have those verses at our disposal so that we can share them with our children. That means memorizing the verses ourselves or having them where we can easily access them. We must be working to apply those verses in our own lives while also disciplining our children in a spirit of love. May we be moms who are drawing our children closer to the Lord Jesus as we bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

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Scripture Memory and Bible Copying – Part 4

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When I received several e-mails asking questions about Scripture memory and Bible copying, I thought they would be good topics for a Mom’s Corner. As I got started, I discovered that there was much more to say about memorizing Scripture than I could fit into a normal-length Mom’s Corner. This month’s article will conclude the series, finally reaching the subject of Bible copying. Next month I plan a related follow-on subject.

From the beginning of our homeschooling, we have used Scripture verses for our children’s handwriting work, as they learn first how to print, then practice it, and finally move to cursive penmanship. However, it is only in the past three years that we have begun having our children do actual Bible copying.

In Deuteronomy we find some beautiful verses that describe how the king of Israel was to copy Scripture and the benefits that copying and daily reading the Word would have for him. “And it shall be, when he sitteth upon the throne of his kingdom, that he shall write him a copy of this law in a book out of that which is before the priests the Levites: And it shall be with him, and he shall read therein all the days of his life: that he may learn to fear the LORD his God, to keep all the words of this law and these statutes, to do them: That his heart be not lifted up above his brethren, and that he turn not aside from the commandment, to the right hand, or to the left: to the end that he may prolong his days in his kingdom, he, and his children, in the midst of Israel” (Deuteronomy 17:18-20).

So far we have used spiral notebooks for the children to copy into. However, we have seen how using a 3-ring binder with loose-leaf paper would be an option as well. In the spiral notebooks, the children are limited if they accidentally skip a few verses. There is no way to insert an extra page, and that option would be available if they were writing on loose-leaf paper. This would also allow them to redo a page and insert it in if we wanted them to do that. We like the spiral notebooks because the pages stay together, and when a child completes a notebook it is already bound together.

Our children have done their Bible copying with pencil rather than pen. That is because when they make a mistake, the pencil allows them to erase and redo it without making the page look bad. They will make errors as they copy that they will catch, and I find things that they have missed that need to be fixed.

Steve started the children in Genesis with their Bible copying, but after a few weeks they jointly decided to move to Matthew. Often if a child is working on memorizing a chapter of Scripture, he will use that chapter for his Bible copying until he completes it and then move back to his other copying. That is another advantage for copying into a 3-ring binder on loose-leaf paper versus a spiral notebook, because the chapters can then be placed into the 3-ring binder in the correct order.

The Bible copying is part of the children’s school time. When they are Bible copying, they are easily able to set their minds on things above as Colossians 3 tells us to do. They also are receiving spelling, handwriting, and grammar practice. One of our children was completing her spelling curriculum well each week, but it wasn’t transferring to her daily writing. We decided to have her stop her spelling curriculum and increase her Bible copying time to see if that would help her with her spelling skills. For a younger child, I will read over his Bible copying every day during my one-on-one meeting with him. Then if there are any errors, he will correct them right then. For the older children, either Steve or I will occasionally look over their Bible copying for neatness and accuracy.

After the first Corner on Scripture memory, a mom wrote to me telling about how they had begun working on memory verses at mealtime after asking the blessing on the food. Here is her experience:

“Thanks for sharing the tip about reciting a Bible memory verse after saying grace. My three-year-old daughter is now learning her memory verse in couple of days rather than a couple of weeks.” Mom A

When I wrote to ask this mom for permission to use her testimony, not only did she give me her permission but she also gave some more details about how the memorizing was being facilitated by this method.

“We have been learning a verse for each alphabet letter. We’ve been struggling with the verses for letters A-L because they were only recited once a day, and often I would forget to do even that. When I read the Mom’s Corner, I was quite excited because I knew this would be an easy system to implement and would give practice several times a day.

“I started last week with ‘Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever’ (Hebrews 13:8). We said our prayers before eating, and then I taught the verse verbally. The first day it was mainly my husband or I reciting the verse for my child, but by the end of the second day my three-year-old child could recite the verse.

“The reference seems to be more challenging for my child. We continue to recite it, but at this point I am happy with getting God’s Word into my child’s heart and references being learned later.

“The verse for this week started with the letter K, and it is, ‘Keep my commandments, and live. . .’ (Proverbs 7:2). This verse was also learned in two days, so I should try some longer verses. I also want to do a review week to review past verses.” Mom A

This family decided to use meals to give them a consistent time to work for a couple of minutes on memory verses. They had good success because of the consistency of the study. If it is important to learn the references, then slowing the pace down will allow for that. In not much more time, the reference will be learned as well. For a three-year-old child, that might mean he isn’t learning a verse every single week, but when the verse is down pat with the reference, the family can start on the next verse. We set whatever pace we choose.

Another family e-mailed and told how they had implemented using a whiteboard for memorizing Scripture. Here is what she said.

“Teri recently shared about using a whiteboard for Scripture memory. I loved the idea, and yesterday my husband bought me a whiteboard for this purpose. We have a built-in microwave in our kitchen but do not ever use it, and so it always bothered me being there. I hung the whiteboard right over it.

“We are working on the first section of Psalms 119 right now, and having it so central to where we spend much of our day has already been a blessing!!! My husband and I sat and read it several times last night when we were visiting after the kids were in bed, the children were reading it first thing this morning, and the non-readers were asking the older children to read it to them. I love this and look forward to it always being a central part of our kitchen. Thank you for sharing the idea!!!!” Mom B

I had a mom e-mail me and share with me her personal struggle with pride because of how young her child was and what she had helped him to memorize. The Lord convicted her of her pride, and drew her heart to focus on the truth of why one would memorize Scripture. Scripture memory is an empty discipline unless what is memorized is utilized in a life. It could lead to pride and hypocrisy—a knowledge of the Word without the life of the Spirit. However, if we are using what we memorize to help us walk in grace and obedience, Scripture memory is a powerful ally for us and for our children as we walk in the Spirit.

One other thought I want to share with you comes from a mom who wrote to me and told me what her husband says about Scripture memory. I loved the analogy, and I wanted to pass it on to you as well.

“My husband always says, remember that God’s Word is our sword, when we physically have it in our hands it is like having the sword in its sheath, but when we have it memorized it is like it is out of the sheath ready to do battle.” Mom C

Psalms 19 and Psalms 119 are beautiful passages of Scripture detailing the benefits and value of the Word in our lives and our children’s lives. Here is part of Psalms 19: “The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them is thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward. Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults. Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression. Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer” (Psalms 19:7-14).

Because I have that desire for the Word of God in my life, I want to have the Word not only available when I can get a Bible out to read but also embedded in my mind, available anytime, anyplace. That is important for my children as well. May we be women who memorize the Word ourselves and also help our children memorize.

Scripture Memory and Bible Copying – Part 3

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In the past few Mom’s Corners, I have been answering questions that were e-mailed to me concerning how my children memorize Scripture, how I memorize Scripture, and how we use Bible copying in our homeschool.

So far we have mostly covered how our younger children memorize Scripture, but in reality when I am helping them memorize, I am memorizing as well. This is memorizing that doesn’t take any extra effort on my part because I am already investing my time with the child with whom I am working.

However, I also desire to memorize verses and sections of Scripture that the Lord has put on my heart as having particular application to the greatest needs in my life. The places I choose to memorize come from my personal time reading the Word. When I come to a passage that is especially relevant to struggles and failures I am experiencing, I begin memorizing it if I am ready for something new on which to work, or I write it down in my quiet-time notebook to come back to when I finish memorizing the section on which I am currently working. Most of the time, I memorize from the New Testament, but I have also memorized various Psalms and a few other sections of the Old Testament.

When would one fit Scripture memory into a busy mom’s life? The Bible memory method I described in the first Mom’s Corner on Scripture memory, which I named the whiteboard-mealtime-grace method, is the simplest way to memorize without any impact to our time. I also find I can make steady, significant memorizing progress if I will just extend my scheduled time in the Word and prayer by five minutes. Those extra five minutes I spend on memorizing. In addition, I have used bigger chunks of time in the evening by going to bed ten to fifteen minutes early and memorizing while I wait for Steve to come to bed.

I do my personal memorization in much the same fashion as I shared in the first Mom’s Corner on Scripture memory, describing how I would help our pre-readers to memorize. I read the first phrase of the verse several times, and then I try to say it. If I need to, I look back at the verse. I keep doing this until I have that first phrase down. Usually this means I don’t move on to the second phrase that day because I won’t yet have learned the first phrase, especially if I am working on memorizing for only five minutes a day.

The second day, I will try to remember how the first phrase began, but generally it takes me a week or so to be able to start the verse on my own without looking. I am not discouraged by that, but I just keep plugging away, knowing that eventually I will be able to begin the verse without help. Even though I can’t start the phrase, by reviewing the first phrase the next day and working on it a bit more, I will be ready to move on to the second phrase.

When I have the second phrase down, I go back to saying the first phrase and attempt to add the second phrase to the first. If I can’t get it, I look back at the text for some help and go through the process again. Each succeeding day, I try to recall what I memorized the day before. Usually I will need to look at the first word or two to get me started. However, before long, I know the beginning of the newest phrase and no longer require the prompts to get me going. When I have a difficult section, I just stay on it until I get it. I don’t push myself because it is more important to me to really know what I am memorizing than to have covered a certain number of verses in a certain amount of time.

A key aspect that I discovered for my successful memorizing was to do it out loud. That helped me learn the verses faster and allowed me to be able to speak them when I wanted to say them. I used to memorize in my mind without speaking the verses aloud. However, when I tried to say the verses, I had trouble. I could recite them perfectly in my head, but when they came out of my mouth, they sounded different, and I would get stuck. When I moved to memorizing out loud, I then found the verses were at my disposal not only to recall in my mind but also to share with my family or someone else.

Reviewing memorized verses is important if we want to keep them in memory. I have memorized many verses in the past that I couldn’t repeat today, simply because there is only so much time that I can give for Scripture memory review. I didn’t choose to review those verses and eventually they were forgotten.

Even if I don’t keep verses in long-term memory by reviewing them, I have still seen benefit in memorizing them. When I choose a passage, there is usually a need in my life to which those verses speak. For example, I memorized 2 Corinthians 4:8-17 when I was struggling with depression. That whole passage spoke to my heart in the midst of the negative thoughts with which I wrestled. “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory” (2 Corinthians 4:16-17). I couldn’t quote those verses to you today, but they ministered to me then. Because of memorizing them, I also know in a general way what they say and where to find them. In addition, even though verses I have memorized are forgotten, the Holy Spirit will recall them to me at times.

The sections of Scripture that I want to keep in mind, I will review. Obviously when I am memorizing I am reviewing what I am in the process of memorizing, but I also try to find other time to review previously-learned verses. One of those times is when I blow-dry my hair. I usually only take time to blow-dry my hair on Sunday mornings. I use those fifteen minutes each week to review previously-learned memory verses. I am currently working at teaching myself to go through memory verses when I shower. Right now, since it isn’t my habit, I forget more than I remember, but I am determined to keep trying. Eventually I will remember more than I forget, and then it will be my habit.

The Lord put on my heart that speaking His Word to myself rather than always thinking my own thoughts was part of what Colossians 3—a chapter I have memorized—tells me to do. “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:2) and “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom. . .” (Colossians 3:16). I also like to use some of the time that we are traveling to review memory verses. I am sure there are a few minutes here and a few there that we all have which can be devoted to reviewing memorized verses—if we will look for that time.

If you would like some suggestions for sections of Scripture to memorize, I will share with you some of my favorites. The three portions of the Word that I currently keep reviewed are: Romans 12, Colossians 3, and Philippians 4:4-19. Here are other passages that I have memorized, and I think you would benefit from as well: John 14:1-21, John 15:1-17, James 1, Hebrews 11, Hebrews 12:1-11, 2 Timothy 2:1-15.

I would encourage you to keep an ongoing list of what you memorize. I haven’t done this until recently, and it saddens me that I don’t have a record of all the Scripture I have memorized over the years. I have also begun to keep a list of the Scripture we learn as a family by reciting it after saying grace at our meals.

Once again, I find that I need to bring this Mom’s Corner to an end, and I plan to conclude next month by finally getting to the subject of Bible copying. In addition, I have received a couple of Scripture memory testimonies that I would like to share with you. I want to encourage each of us not only to help our children memorize Scripture but also to make it a priority in our lives as well.

Scripture Memory and Bible Copying – Part 2

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Last month I began sharing our family’s personal experience and application of Scripture memory in the Mom’s Corner. I believe that most of us, as Christians, have a desire to memorize the Word and to help our children memorize it as well. As Psalms 119:105 says, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” When we have Scripture embedded in our hearts through memorizing, we have it available day or night to guide our thoughts and actions.

In response to last month’s Mom’s Corner where I explained how I had worked with our preschoolers as they memorized verses, a mom wrote with additional suggestions for preschool Scripture memory. First she suggested having the children do something active while they were memorizing such as jumping up and down. Her second idea was to put hand motions and actions with the words. I wrote back to her and explained to her what had happened to us when we tried these memorizing methods when our children were small.

We found our children didn’t memorize as well doing something else such as jumping up and down. They laughed, giggled, and were quite occupied with jumping, but they didn’t get much Scripture memory accomplished. I was frustrated trying to get them to memorize when they wanted to play. We were more successful when I had one child sitting on my lap receiving individual attention without other distractions.

We also tried memorizing some of their verses with actions, but they didn’t learn them any faster than when we worked on them without actions. As a matter of fact, two things happened with the actions. First my preschoolers would give more of a focus to the hand motions than to learning the verse that accompanied those actions, and they become very silly over them as well. Another problem was that they would often forget the hand motions, so now we had two sets of things to memorize—the verse and what actions went with it.

While I understand that some would want to try to make memorizing Scripture fun and entertaining for a preschooler, we preferred to use time that I was one-on-one with a child to help him begin to learn self-control in being quiet, sitting still, and concentrating for a few short minutes. As preschoolers, the children had ample hours in their day to play but not nearly as much time to be with Mommy where she was completely centered on them, giving individual direction and help in developing some discipline. Self-discipline has to start somewhere, and how much easier it is to begin at a young age than to try to overcome the bad habits of self-indulgence later in life.

Will our little children be able to understand the verses that they memorize? Some they will, and some they won’t. We liked the preschool Scripture memory books from Scripture Memory Fellowship because they had done the work of choosing verses that were applicable to young children and ones that were simple. Sometimes Scripture memory doesn’t happen simply because we cannot figure out what to have our children memorize.

Another way that our children learn and remember Scripture verses is by Steve and me using verses in daily life. For example, Steve often quotes to his family and to others Matthew 16:24: “. . . If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” Because of that, our family has learned Matthew 16:24 without trying to memorize it, and we regularly mention it to each other when we need encouragement to move our thoughts off of ourselves. We can also use it when talking with people outside the family.

Here is another example of learning Scripture by using it. Philippians 2:14 says, “Do all things without murmurings and disputings.” That is a verse I share regularly with my children if their words or attitudes take on a grumbly tone. The more we apply the Word to our daily lives, the more we and our children will become familiar with it, and the more likely we will be to memorize those verses that we are using in those contexts.

I have heard some say that we should not use Scripture to correct our children. They indicate that if we bring Scripture into discipline situations, we will give our children a negative view of God. However, 2 Timothy 3:16 says, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” Our basis for what is right and what is wrong is based in the Word. If we don’t use the Word to explain to our children what the Lord wants them to do, why they were wrong, and what to do about it, then our reason for any rebuke or correction is simply our personal whim.

What we think is vitally important when using Scripture to correct a child is the spirit in which it is done. If a mom is angry or harsh, then she will undermine anything positive that she would like to accomplish in her disciplining. However, if our spirits are gentle and sweet as we explain to our children that we want to obey the Word because we love Jesus, and we know that His will for our lives is the best way to live, we are building into our children’s lives a reason to obey and a desire to obey.

“For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). We want our children to see the Word as the direction for their lives, and we want them even to welcome chastening from the Lord. “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth” (Hebrews 12:6). We believe that begins with receiving reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness from the Word. A side benefit from regular use of Scripture as we correct our children is that they will memorize verses that have specific application to problem areas in their lives.

In 2 Timothy 3:15 when Paul is talking about Timothy, he says, “And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” We want for our children to know the Word, and one way for this to happen is by memorizing the Word. Then our children will have a spiritual tool to be able to use in their lives to draw their hearts closer to the Lord Jesus, to help them choose obedience to the Word, and to direct them toward the blessing of others. Next month I plan to conclude the discussion of Scripture memory and move into Bible copying.