All posts by Teri Maxwell

Teri Maxwell is wife to Steve for over 40 years, mom to eight children (three married), and grandma to eight. She loves keeping her home running smoothly and sharing with women in the vein of Titus 2:4&5. Teri homeschooled for thirty years, and she's graduated all her children. In between her other responsibilities, she manages to squeeze in writing time. She is co-author of the popular Managers of Their Homes and Managers of Their Chores. In addition, Teri's written three books just for ladies Homeschooling with a Meek & Quiet Spirit, Sweet Journey, and Sweet Relationships. She has been writing monthly encouragement articles for homeschool moms for 25 years. Find more information on Teri Maxwell and her books.

Free From Regrets

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She came to me desiring help with depression. One of the first projects I gave her was to go to bed early enough so that she could get up in the morning to have time with the Lord before the children were up. She agreed to the homework, but clearly told me that she didn’t have self-control, that she liked to stay up at night, and that she didn’t get up in the morning.

The next week, she reported having gone to bed and gotten up on time for a whole week. She was very pleased with herself. She had also had Bible reading and prayer each morning. What about the depression? I asked. “Oh, it was a great week. The depression really wasn’t an issue.”

Who Has Self-Control?

Have you thought about self-control? What value does it hold in your life? Do you esteem it or reject it? Have you noticed that self-control is sometimes made fun of, mocked, and put down? Or some will say that others can have self control but they can’t.

In our society, though, athletes are admired. Doesn’t it take self-control for them to achieve the physical prowess that makes them skilled? People who have built successful businesses are also admired. Some even study those individuals’ lives in order to dissect what qualities they have that help them in their achievements. Usually self-control is at or near the top of those lists. What about the student who receives academic accolades? Again self-control is integral to that success.

Did you know that self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit? “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23). Doesn’t that mean it is available to everyone who is saved?

Freedom!

Ten years ago, I was drinking several sodas a day. I justified myself by saying I had no self-control when it came to resisting a Pepsi. Even so, at the end of a day of drinking Pepsi (which was every day), I would guiltily think particularly about wasted calories and some about wasted money and decide not to drink any more Pepsi. The next morning, though, I would find myself making excuses as to why “today” wasn’t a good day to break my Pepsi habit.

On December 31st 2006, I drank my last Pepsi. Do I regret giving up Pepsi? Not a chance! Do I live anymore with guilt because I drink Pepsi? No! I am free. I often thank and praise the Lord for the freedom from bondage to Pepsi and the guilt that went with it. Freedom is a delightful thing!

Drinking Pepsi was following the flesh for me, but stopping it was walking in the Spirit. Which life do you think has fewer regrets and less guilt—life in the flesh or life in the Spirit?

Self-Control Brings Blessings

There are struggles moms come to us with for which they want help. Often self-control is the solution—a simple word but difficult implementation. For example, some have trouble with time management or there are moms who ask for help with depression or anger.

Steve and I have watched moms get hold of the simple concept of going to bed and getting up at a set time. Initially they say can’t do that because they lack self-control, but they are so miserable with their current life that they say they will do anything for change. They make a commitment to do it for a month.

Those who follow through on that commitment are excited. They have chosen self-control when they thought they had none. They discover the key to their time management problems. They are elated not only with the changes that happen as a result of going to bed and getting up at the designated time but also with the realization that they do, after all, have self-control.

Those who don’t live out their bedtime and wake-up time commitment have excuses and continue in the same discouragement with which they started. Similar women, similar circumstances, similar needs, similar desires but a significant difference—one chooses self-control, the other doesn’t.

The Path of Self-Control

Each of us has those kinds of choices before us each day. “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

When I was tempted to drink a Pepsi, or a mom is tempted to stay in bed when the alarm goes off, or you are tempted by something the Lord is calling you to exercise self-control concerning, Scripture tells us that God has provided a way of escape. Is it possible, though, that we don’t want to take the way of escape, that we enjoy aspects of what we are doing, that we would rather follow the flesh?

“That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace” (Romans 8:4-6). After giving up Pepsi, I experienced peace in my heart whereas before there was conflict and guilt. I would so much rather walk after the Spirit than after the flesh. What about you?

Would you tell me that you don’t have self-control, that you have tried before and failed? Then could I remind you of Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Are you praying and asking God for His strength? Do you have Scripture memorized to quote to yourself? Are you willing to deny your flesh? I am no spiritual giant. I am no different that you. However, I do strive to daily learn more and more to rely on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word, and the joy and peace that brings. If I can have self-control through Christ Who strengthens me, you can too!

Counting the Cost

What is God calling you to have self-control concerning? Your battle might not be with unhealthy food or wasting time, but whatever it is, I expect you are aware of it. I am sure that self-control will bring you peace you long for–and a multitude of other benefits along with it.

The peace would be enough for me, but I could not help but do some calculations as I closed this article. Based on drinking 24 ounces of Pepsi a day (and I could easily drink much more than that some days!) for ten years, I didn’t consume 87,600 calories, which would convert to 25 pounds of weight that I didn’t gain, and we saved about $1662. I have no regrets. I would like to encourage you in a life of self-control without regrets as well.

Trusting in Jesus,
Teri

Five Tips To Make a Homeschool Mom’s Summer More Productive

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This month’s Corner is written by Sarah, my oldest daughter. Sarah grew up in a homeschooling family, has helped countless homeschooling moms, and observes her homeschooling sisters-in-law. She has a wealth of practical homeschool experience to offer. Sarah graduated from our homeschool in 2000 and loves to serve in the Titus2 ministry. Teri

Summer is here, well, not officially according to the calendar, but school is out, and the temperatures are heating up, so it feels like summer. I want to share some tips from our family’s personal experiences that could help make your summer more productive. I remember looking forward to our summer homeschool break and the variety in activity that it afforded us. We were always excited about what Mom had in store for those summer months.

Plan a Summer Schedule

Plan a summer schedule! “Why would I do that?” you might ask. “Isn’t summer meant to be free time without any structure?” Have you noticed how your children act without a guideline for their day? Don’t they seem to get in trouble, say they’re bored, or fight with their siblings? Having a schedule will alleviate that, give them purpose, and you peace. If you have teenage children, let them have input into their schedules and how they’d like their day set up. I enjoyed plotting my schedule. Be creative.

Change out chores and train the children in new ones since you have more time to do that. Wouldn’t you love to move through summer without having to wince every time you walk by the laundry room? With a schedule, you’ll keep up with a clean house and folded laundry and a whole lot more! A side benefit will be pleasing your husband. What guy likes to come home to an unkempt house with bickering children and a crying wife?

Back to the schedule. Maybe you have a child who has a special interest or talent in an area like art, writing, handyman work, or sewing. Scheduling in an hour a day for them to devote to that will help both of you to see if it’s something they want to keep pursuing during the school year.

Write Out a List of Projects You’d Like to Accomplish

Do you have dreams of getting to those projects that bug you, but you just don’t have time for? Write out a list of those projects, and make it your summer goal. Maybe your husband has mentioned several things he’d like to see you do, and you’ve never made it happen (i.e: the kids’ winter boots that are stacked up in the garage doorway, the front flower bed needs weeding). Now is the time. Write those on your list, and you’ll have a very happy husband when they’re done!

My mom loved summer because it afforded her opportunities to do things she normally didn’t have time for such as putting photos in albums, deep cleaning the refrigerator, polishing cabinets, and a host of other things. How did she manage to do that with little ones underfoot? At that point, I was in my teens, and she scheduled me to take the five younger ones on a walk right after breakfast and then to play with them outside. That gave her an hour to do things on her list, and an hour a day netted her a mostly-completed list by the end of summer (I think sometimes her lists exceeded her time!). If you don’t have a child old enough to watch the others, consider having them spend that time in a safe environment like their room with special toys or books.

Schedule Some School

Even if you’re one of those who would prefer summer to be kept without school, consider how scheduling 1-2 hours a day could help you. For us, if we did some school, it kept our skills current in weak or hard subjects, instead of trying to jump back in with cold feet in the fall. It also allowed us to have a more relaxed schedule in the school year itself and even time off for a family vacation in September when places weren’t crowded. School each day kept us occupied in the hotter parts of the day, when being outside playing wasn’t much of an option.

Spend Dedicated One on One Time with Your Children

What better use of your summer hours than to spend them with your children? Regardless of their age (toddler to teen!), plan a regular time at least once a week to spend one on one. Consider letting them pick what they want to do. Your little boys might want you to build a Lego fort, and you might find you’re better at it than you thought. Or, your little girl might love for you to play dolls. When was the last time you played dolls?! Perhaps your teenage girl would like to bake something or go shopping (in the evening when your husband is home and can watch the others). I heard my sister-in-law was doing one on one time with her girls this summer, and Friday night they were happily talking about what Mommy did with them that week.

Make It Great

Whether it’s a spontaneous trip to the zoo, a picnic at the park, hiking at a state park, an overnight camping trip when Dad’s home, or simply making sugar cookies and decorating them together, use summer as a time to make the best memories possible. Remember, your schedule is your tool. So use it when you can, and on those days when you go to the zoo or do some other outing, don’t worry, and have peace knowing you’ll get back on track the next day.

Instead of allowing the summer to overtake you with stressful times, be determined to make it your most productive summer yet. The result? Happy kids + productivity + a pleased husband = a joyful YOU.

Serving Jesus,
Sarah Maxwell

With Great Delight, An Introduction …

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(Preface: Teri has no idea about the Corner below. She thought Sarah was going to write a guest Corner this month. She’ll be surprised!)

I want to introduce someone to you. To you all, she is Teri Maxwell, to me, she is “Sweetheart.”

To homeschooling moms, she is seen as the mom who made scheduling practical and achievable with the resulting benefit of an organized and peaceful home. She has helped tens of thousands of moms see that it is actually possible to get it all done AND be both sane and happy (I know, many settle for one or the other). Years ago she was in trouble, with too much to do, and not enough time to do it. On top of that Teri was battling depression.

Together we worked to simplify her life so that it was manageable. We found by simply “automating” many of her daily decisions, we got the big, ugly, evil green gorilla off her back. She was relieved of the weight and was able to not just cope, but be the efficient homeschooling mom she wanted to be. To me, she is a fantastic manager of our home, where it is peaceful and orderly place I’m happy to come home to and proud to welcome guests in.

To those struggling with depression, Teri is a beacon of hope pointing to the Lord Jesus Christ and a myriad of practical choices that gain freedom from the “evil gorilla.” Because Teri has been crushed by depression, ruled by anger, and hounded by the guilt of what she wasn’t accomplishing, nor the mom she wanted to be, weary, heavy-laden, moms know Teri understands them. To me, she is a trophy of how God, in His mercy, can exchange beauty for ashes in all of our lives.

To those who are not bubbly, gushy, Type A personalities, and have occasional down days, she is solid, steadfast, and stable encouragement. To me, she is a dependable team member, working alongside as we lead this family together.

To our ten children, she is “Mom.” Eight children who are seeking to follow their Lord Jesus Christ on this earth and two more who are with the Lord Jesus waiting for her in Heaven. Yes, she also knows the pain of losing children through miscarriage; therefore others who have lost children know she can relate to them. To me, her walk is one of daily, obediently, trusting in her Lord, that all things work together for good. She is the love of my life.

To her daughters-in-law she is one who will like clockwork, spend time lovingly playing with and reading to the grandchildren and will invest in their homes when she senses she can be an encouragement. To me, she is an example of investing energy into the lives of those you love.

Your story will be not like Teri’s. Yours could involve much more or less heartache. If your story involves difficulties and suffering–may I encourage you? Heartache and suffering can be fertile ground for great growth in Christ. It isn’t what difficulties come your way in life; it is how you respond to them. Pursue the Lord Jesus with all your heart, soul, and mind. Whatever ash you have found in life (or it has found you), our prayer is that you will let the Lord Jesus exchange it for beauty. Let the God of all comfort, comfort you, so you can comfort others.

To all you who have chosen the most worthwhile profession, our love, encouragement, and prayers are for you to be filled with His Spirit and walk in it. And yes, Happy Mother’s Day.

“Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God” (2 Corinthians 1:4).

In Christ Jesus,
Steve Maxwell

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Sorting Out Decisions

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With the 30 years of homeschooling behind me, I remember those spring days and the excitement of thinking about and preparing for a new homeschooling year. As I read the following Mom’s Corner I wrote during a springtime when I was actively homeschooling many children, I thought you would be encouraged by these words.

Rerun: I Just Want to Be a Mommy

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It is March, and there are still probably three months left of school for those who homeschool before the school year ends. At this point, you may be tired and a bit weary of your homeschooling, with some discouragement mixed in. Summer could seem a long ways off.

I wrote this Mom’s Corner called, “I Just Want to Be a Mommy,” before the start of a school year several years ago when I was still homeschooling my children, but it is very appropriate for how you may be feeling right now. I want to draw your hearts to the wonderful mission you have as a homeschool mom to be a mommy to your children in the very fullest sense of the word. I know there are some who would like to homeschool who read these articles, but aren’t able to for one reason or another. I hope this article encourages you to be your children’s mommy every moment you are able to spend with them.

Read I Just Want to be a Mommy.

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Guarding Time for Priorities

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It seems like there have always been ways that Satan tries to get believers to waste time on non-profitable activities that will keep them from doing what the Lord wants them to do. When I read this verse, I know that even back in New Testament days this was happening. “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not” (1 Timothy 5:13).

Evaluating Time Usage

It is important for each of us to evaluate our time usage and ask the Lord if it is in accordance with His direction for our lives. We can be in the right place to be doing what the Lord wants us to do, but if we are not utilizing our time properly, we might be missing out on the blessings He would have for us. When we waste time, we aren’t able to keep up with the responsibilities the Lord gives us. Also if we aren’t using our time according to God-given priorities, we can have trouble. We might feel stressed, guilty, or unhappy. For some it degrades into depression.

I think we could safely say that the Lord isn’t going to ask us to do more than there is time to do. Our job, then, is to determine, with the Lord’s help, what are time wasters, what our time priorities are, and where our time should be spent.

When I have a stressed mom write me who says she can’t keep up with all there is to do with a growing family and homeschooling, I ask her to evaluate where her time is going. A schedule is certainly a helpful tool for that. Without a schedule, it can be very difficult to determine exactly where the time is spent. Plus, really and truly, a schedule makes a mom more productive, but that is another story.

What Comes First?

For example, it wouldn’t be unusual for a mom to go to her computer or phone early in the morning after getting up, before she’s had her time with the Lord and before the children wake up. While it’s quiet, she checks her e-mail, and maybe reads a blog or two. In her mind, she plans to spend five, maybe ten minutes there. However, she decides that an e-mail or two would be easy to respond to right away, and one blog leads to another that looks interesting, inspiring, and educational. It could be an hour later that she is still there. The children are now up, but they are an irritation because they need attention. They are a distraction from what she really wants to do at that moment.

In addition to all of that, this mom never gets to her time with the Lord, in the Word and in prayer. If we were to ask the Lord what He wants our time invested in, I am confident He would tell us that time in the Word and prayer is a much higher priority than media time. Does that mean we can never read or write an e-mail or read a blog? No, but it does mean that we keep our priorities straight, and we evaluate whether media time is stealing time away from things the Lord would have us do.

Prioritizing would say that media time comes after spiritual nourishment and a mom’s primary responsibilities. It might also mean that there are other ministry or educational things the Lord wants to be utilized by time that has been given to media. When priorities are sorted out, then the media time can be put into a scheduled timeframe. That scheduled timeframe will assure that it doesn’t keep her from time with the Lord, meeting the needs of her family, or her other priorities. It also helps her to contain the time to a specified amount so that it doesn’t rob her of time she should be using in other avenues.

How Much Time?

I am not just picking on phones and computers. It could be something as beneficial as exercise. Exercise is certainly good for our health and even for our emotional well being, but it also should have parameters and boundaries. It isn’t more important than our spiritual health. “For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come” (1 Timothy 4:8). So if exercise is superseding Bible reading and prayer, I can’t help but wonder if the priorities are off. If exercise causes Mom to be angry and frustrated with her children’s needs, then she should re-evaluate when she exercises. She can schedule it for when the children won’t need her or when someone else can meet those needs, and she can look for ways to keep the exercise within a reasonable time frame. Once again, a schedule helps put these important parts of our day into their proper places considering priorities and needs.

Where Is Our Attention?

Those are just a few examples. Here are a few more. What about texting? A text or two is just a minute here or a minute there. However, it interrupts whatever the mom is involved in doing, generally expands beyond those initial minutes (have you ever timed a texting conversation?), and it takes her attention away from her scheduled priority at that moment.

Talking on the phone? Yes, we want to have and build relationships, but there may be seasons in a young mom’s life where she doesn’t have extended amounts of time to talk on the phone. It is simply not a top priority for the amount of time she has with her responsibilities. That phone time puts unnecessary pressure on the rest of her day, causing stress and discouragement with what she isn’t accomplishing.

Is It a Time Waster?

Reading novels? Watching TV? Watching movies? Those are all activities that we can live just fine without doing (likely a mom is better off without them anyway). For the busy mom, I would wonder if they fit into the top part of her priorities. They rob her of time that she desperately needs for the priorities the Lord has given her.

I am sure there are many others too. They may be things that are enjoyed, but they aren’t necessities in life and would not rate high on a priority list even if they are relationship builders or educational. They take time, and they take attention that is likely needed in other places. Each mom should be aware of whether she is keeping up with the responsibilities God has given to her, whether she is spiritually nourishing her soul, whether she is feeling daily time pressure stress, and whether the activities in her schedule are ones that bring glory to the Lord.

Redeeming the Time?

I want to go to bed at night with a peaceful heart, knowing that my time was spent doing what the Lord wanted me to do. “Redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16). I can use my time the way I desire to use it, and even if they were good activities, I might find myself discouraged at the end of the day if they weren’t what the Lord directed me to do. Perhaps they kept me from doing things that were important for my family or that would have allowed me to be current with my responsibilities. It could be that they simply moved my attention from my children and their needs into another realm.

May I encourage each of us to go to the Lord and seek His direction for every part of our daily time usage. May we evaluate our activities and weed out time wasters so that we are productive with our time.

May we also look at other things we do to determine if it is a current priority or needs to be put aside for a season. I know there is great peace and joy in a life lived like that. If you need help with a schedule, I suggest you buy Managers of Their Homes, or pull it off your shelf to reread if you already have it.

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Seven Important Reasons Why Homeschoolers Should Give Report Cards

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Do you remember being in school and having your report card handed to you? How did you feel as you looked at it? Were you excited? Anxious? Did you open it then or wait until you were alone? What was it like taking it home and showing it to your parents? Did you want to hide it, or were you proud of it?

When I was growing up, report card day was a momentous event at home. We received a quarter for each “B” and a dollar for each “A.” If the report cards were good, we had a special family dessert – chocolate sauce over pound cake. I only remember my sister and me bringing home good report cards. Yay!

As homeschool families are there any reasons why we would give report cards to our children? They place an added burden on Mom to create extra time and effort to track the information that would be needed to compile report cards. Sometimes as homeschoolers we feel like we want to leave behind what we saw as the institutionalized part of education. Do report cards fall into that category? As a homeschool family for 30 years, we would encourage you that report cards play an important role in home education.

1. Keeps Teacher Mom Accountable

It is necessary for homeschool moms to be diligent about accomplishing homeschooling. The education of their children falls squarely on their shoulders. Planning to give quarterly report cards should motivate Mom to make sure daily and weekly school is happening so that she has data from her students to be entered into the report card. It is very difficult to generate a report card if school time has been lacking.

2. Sets Goals Before the Student

Report cards give homeschool students a goal to work toward. In a normal classroom, there will be positive peer pressure toward academic accomplishment. In the homeschool, it is generally only one student per grade, losing the benefit of that incentive. In its place, homeschoolers can use the goal of achieving good grades to motivate children to work on their school assignments and to put forth their best effort.

3. Gives Reinforcement to Student

Report cards will give homeschooled children reinforcement – positive or negative. Without some kind of grading system and report cards, how do our homeschool students know if they are doing well or doing poorly? The homeschool mom can verbally tell her children how they are doing, but they don’t have anything quantifiable and tangible to validate those words.

4. Tracks Progress or Lack of It

When we give our children report cards, it helps us discern their academic progress or lack of it. Good grades indicate positive progress, but bad grades will be a concern that should lead us to look for remedies. When those bad grades turn to good grades, we have a track record.

5. Documents for Governmental Authorities

Report cards will indicate to governmental authorities, should they ever question a homeschool, that real learning is taking place. In the U. S. each state has slightly varying laws regarding homeschooling, but in all of them, it is clear that education is to be accomplished. Report cards indicate that this is a homeschool where real school goes on and learning results. We can have our textbooks as proof of homeschooling, but the report card indicates to the authorities what is actually being accomplished with those textbooks.

“Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation” (Romans 13:1-2).

6. Allows Others to See Academic Progress.

Not only do report cards document progress that governmental authorities can observe should they question our homeschooling, but it also allows others to view academic progress in our children. Report cards can be shown to Dad, grandparents, even interested friends because they document definitive achievement. This gives those other people who love your child opportunities to reinforce and encourage that child.

7. Helps Children Adapt to the Real World

Finally, report cards move our children toward adaptation to the real adult world. If your children go to college, they will be in an environment where tests and grades are the norm. If they are self employed, they may still study and take tests for credentials in their field.

When the child wants a driver’s license, he will take a test and receive a grade on it that will either allow him to have the license or not. Those who work in the corporate world will have written reviews by their supervisors that document their performance over a pre-determined amount of time. Those reviews are shared with the employee and with upper level management. Performance in the job as documented by the reviews will be tied to pay raises.

Just a Little Extra Time

During my homeschooling years, I really didn’t find that giving report cards took very much extra time. Mine were simple with just the basic information on them. I had documentation of the children’s work from their test and quiz grades. For many subjects, I could simply average them for the grade. Since I kept the grades in an Excel spreadsheet, it would do all the calculating for me. I didn’t even have to work the math. Toward the end of our homeschooling, when we were using computers and e-mail so much, I would usually e-mail the report card to the child, to Dad, and then print a hard copy for our records.

I think that if you are a homeschooling mom, you will be happy to make the decision to give your homeschool students report cards and them begin implementing that decision. There are many benefits that come from report cards that you will experience if you do.

Download Report Cards from Titus2

For many years, we have offered a basic report card template on Titus2 as a free download. With the upcoming Mom’s Corner in mind, we designed more report card templates. We offer them in several formats: sunflower or airplane, PDF to be filled in, or subjects blank so you can type them in or print and handwrite them.

Try them out, and let us know what you think. Happy report card making.

Homeschooling with Depression

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I was a homeschool mom who suffered with depression for the first eight years of homeschooling. I hope sharing what allowed me to function and homeschool in the midst of depression and what brought me through it might be helpful to other moms who find themselves depressed, discouraged, or simply feeling down.

Depression wasn’t a part of my life until after I began having children. Then it was something I faced on a regular basis over the course of several years. Amazingly, the Lord called our family to homeschool while I was still in the middle of dealing with my depression.

A Schedule for Life in Depression

I know I say this often, but I will say it again. Having a schedule was a lifeline to me as I managed homeschooling with depression. I did not want to give up homeschooling because of depression. The schedule was a tool that allowed me to care for my young and growing family plus homeschool.

That schedule directed my time usage and alleviated many decisions that I know would have been overwhelming to me, and which I likely wouldn’t have been able to make. When we think of a woman and depression, we tend to imagine her curled up in bed all day. The schedule, along with a great measure of God’s grace, got me out of bed each morning and moved me through the things that needed to be accomplished every day.

Because of the schedule, even with depression we had meals at a set time. We were faithful with homeschooling, and the children excelled in their academics. I could keep up with laundry and housekeeping. Can you imagine how not doing those things would have fueled my depression because often depression can lead to a vicious cycle? Tasks aren’t being accomplished, and the feeling of failure and the increasingly-overwhelming list of things to catch up on leads to still deeper depression. If you want to know what I learned about scheduling and how you can schedule, that information is found in Managers of Their Homes.

Scripture Overcomes Depression

Part of my schedule was time in God’s Word first thing every morning. Does a depressed homeschool mom feel like reading her Bible? For me, the answer was no. To be honest, I didn’t feel like doing much of anything, except maybe crying—and I did a fair amount of that. Yet I knew the ultimate solution for my depression was in the Lord Jesus, and I was aware that His communication to me came through His Word. I clung to passages of Scripture that I could relate to and that gave me a measure of hope. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).

Not only did Scripture give me hope while homeschooling and being depressed, but it also directed my thoughts when they were consumed with negativism and gloom. I regularly read Lamentations 3, and I related to the descriptions there. These verses were something I could use to push out the wrong thoughts. “This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him” (Lamentations 3:21-24). Hallelujah!

Because my depression included worry, anger, and self-pity, that time in the Word each day was teaching me God’s way to deal with each of those. I certainly wasn’t a perfect student, reading a verse and applying it immediately and consistently to my life. However, in spite of my slow and stumbling spiritual learning style, the Lord gently taught and encouraged me.

Living the Word Helps Depression

Reading His Word had to translate to moment-by-moment action, which for me was harder than simply reading the Word. Sometimes I remember feeling spiritually uplifted and excited as I read my Bible, only to begin my homeschooling day in defeat if my mind was playing the same negative, broken record of depressed thoughts. Those thoughts needed to be replaced with Scriptural thoughts.

I found this verse to be very true: “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God” (Romans 12:2). I needed to pair that with this verse: “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

“Learn and do” was the theme of my spiritual walk during those days. The doing was not so much physical, although many days it was acting differently than I felt. The doing was mostly accomplished in my mind—taking the wrong thoughts captive and replacing them with the truth of the Word.

My natural responses came from my life before Christ when I was walking in the flesh, filled with selfishness and pride. Those all had to be transformed by the renewing of my mind with the Word and then obediently using what I was learning.

Prayer Enables Through Depression

Does it sound like at that time I was a spiritual giant to be able read God’s Word, learn from it, take my thoughts captive, and be a transformed woman with no more depression? I was too weak to do that on my own so I was continually crying out to the Lord for His grace, mercy, and strength. Often I felt like it was a minute-by-minute prayer. “Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily” (Psalm 86:3).

I was bringing my failures to the Lord in repentance and asking for His help in overcoming them. Failing, repenting, and failing again in the same area heaped guilt onto an already fragile heart. These two verses were ones to which I clung: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit” (Romans 8:1). That was truth!

Exercise and Depression

Another priority we kept in my schedule was daily exercise. For me it was a walk. That put me outside in the fresh air, away from the environment that I struggled in, and gave me some time away from my normal responsibilities—all that in addition to getting exercise. I usually walked with my mom or with Steve so I had companionship and communication during the exercise, too. These days we read that exercise provides not only physical benefits but also mental ones by stimulating the production of endorphins. I think, for me, it had both those positive impacts.

I Didn’t Use Medication with my Depression

In my depression, I chose not to use medication. That was my decision, but my husband agreed and approved. There were several reasons I didn’t want to use medication. The main reason was that I wanted my healing to be from the Lord. The secondary reason was that I thought there was a possibility that if I started on medication, I might not be able to stop using it. I was concerned about the long-term health effects of being on a pharmaceutical.

Homeschooling with Depression

I am eternally grateful that the Lord allowed me to homeschool through my depression by giving me physical and spiritual tools to combat the depression and to be able to live life with it. Even though that depression lasted over the course of about eight of our thirty years of homeschooling, He gave me many more homeschooling years without depression than with it.

While living with the depression seemed long and tedious, I now look back and see all the work the Lord did in my heart to bring me out of the depression, to allow me to homeschool with it, and to mold me into what I am today. I praise His glorious name.

We have some resources that might also be beneficial to you in this area:

Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit
Sweet Journey
Sweet Relationships

Each of those books have come out of my experience with homeschooling, depression, and the work the Lord Jesus was doing in my life. The testimonies we have received over the years affirm that they can help you too.

Here is a link to another article I wrote about my depression.

A Schedule Can Help with Depression

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I struggled with depression on and off for about twelve years. Many of you who regularly read the Mom’s Corners have seen me talk about those battles before.

Those were difficult and dark days, not only for me but also for my family. In a previous Mom’s Corner I shared about that battle and several of the things the Lord used to help pull me out of depression. In this Mom’s Corner, I want to focus on a specific tool that helped me navigate life in the midst of depression and care for the needs of a young and growing family.

When the Lord called our family to homeschool and then began giving us more children, my ability to keep up with the childcare responsibilities, housework, cooking, laundry, plus homeschooling, failed. Falling behind with those tasks caused stress, worry, guilt, and a host of other negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and impatience.

Time Management Tool

When I asked the Lord for help, He began to teach me to schedule. “I cried unto the LORD with my voice; with my voice unto the LORD did I make my supplication” (Psalm 142:1). Since I had a home to run, which had many similarities to a small business, I needed time management skills to do so. Back then, I didn’t have time to read books on time management, nor would I probably have found any that dealt with time management for a stay-at-home mom who was homeschooling. However, I am excited to find that what the Lord taught me years ago about time management in a home is exactly what time-management experts recommend in the business world today. Time management is powerful in business, and it was powerful for me with the specific needs I had as a stay-at-home mom with children to care for and educate.

I started putting together a daily schedule to help direct my time usage, and also the children’s. I used a paper and notebook. There was much erasing and rewriting, but it gave me a basis for my day. (Now we have a scheduling kit that comes with Managers of Their Homes, and also ScheduleBreeze, which is an add-on scheduling software for Managers of Their Homes users. )

The Schedule Makes Decisions

While scheduling has been beneficial in a multitude of ways in our home through the years, I want to deal specifically with how it impacted me during my depression. A depressed person doesn’t make decisions well, nor are they motivated to do much of anything. Because of my love for my husband and children, I had a desire to care for their needs. Having a schedule gave me direction for how to use my time. I didn’t have to make decisions; they were already made for me. I had direction through the schedule. When the mind is tracking things that need to be done and decisions that need to be made, it is an extra weight.

I remember back then listening to Elisabeth Elliot’s radio program for Christian women, called “Gateway to Joy.” She would say, “Just do the next thing,” to encourage women to keep up with daily tasks. My schedule told me what my “next thing” was when, in my depression, I could not figure it out.

A Schedule Gives Sense of Accomplishment

That schedule also allowed me to have a feeling of accomplishment at the end of each day, rather than being saddled with a burden of all that was left undone. As a depressed woman, consider what sitting and doing nothing—which is typical in depression—would have done to deepen that depression, versus the positive aspects of caring for my family and keeping up with the home management plus homeschooling. I know that this was a vital part of helping me through and out of the depression, whereas without the schedule, I would have spiraled deeper and further into it.

Moms write me who are living with depression, and they often say that their homes are out of control. They also tell me that they aren’t spending any time with Jesus. Of course, they share the deepness of their misery, and I more than understand their feelings. Putting together and using a schedule brings structure back to their lives. I’ve seen countless times how depressed moms are encouraged when they follow their schedule. It does for them what it did for me.

A Schedule Renews a Depressed Mind

The most important part of a schedule is to plan daily time to spend in Bible reading and prayer. “O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is” (Psalm 63:1). There is nothing a depressed mom needs more than to be spiritually nourished. God’s Word will give her the help she needs for many of her emotional struggles, just like it did for me. For example, when she reads this,  “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice” (Philippians 4:4), she probably thinks, “But, Lord, I don’t feel like rejoicing. I just feel sad and unhappy.”

She might also read, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Hopefully, she will then decide to choose to rejoice rather than letting her feelings rule her. Victory begins to come to her, step by step, just as it did for me.

A Schedule Helps Many Moms

I honestly believe that a schedule helps not only a depressed mom, but also most other stay-at-home moms. All the benefits the depressed mom realizes with her schedule are ones that other moms will experience as well. Perhaps that schedule will keep the mom who isn’t depressed from becoming depressed. The schedule certainly brings peace and productivity to days that can be chaotic and stressful. There is a wealth of information in Managers of Their Homes that allows me to come alongside you as you learn about scheduling and implement a schedule for your time.

The Hopeless Mom

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Can you relate to the young homeschooling mom that I once knew who had five little children and was angry and very discouraged? Although she had a happy childhood, she was not raised in a Christian home. She had given her life to Christ during college and was growing in the Lord, but as a mom, anger was still a regular reaction to her children’s misbehavior.

Discouraged by Anger

In her heart, she knew that anger and yelling were harmful and not the way the Lord would want her to respond to her children. Because of that, she was also continually pulled into discouragement and depression by her inability to do what she knew the Lord would want her to do in those situations.

She spent time in solitude, praying and repenting after she had failed, but she often felt it was hopeless—that anger was simply a part of who she was and always would be. That dragged her even further into gloom and doom.

This young mom had a strong, spiritual husband who was a continual encouragement to her. He prayed for her, offered her suggestions, and helped her with Scripture that would apply to her needs. He was the bright ray of hope that the Lord used to keep her on the homeschooling path even though she felt like she was a miserable failure.

Could She Stop Yelling?

The young mom remembers telling the Lord that her anger was simply not controllable, even though Colossians 3:8 said, “But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.” She had tried putting her anger off, but it just didn’t work.

Then one day she was yelling at her children when the telephone rang. She picked up the receiver and with a very sweet voice said, “Hello,” followed by a brief conversation. Immediately the Holy Spirit convicted her heart that, in order to answer the phone nicely, she had chosen to put off her anger. It was not the impossibility she had convinced herself it was.

You’ve probably realized by now that young, homeschooling mommy was me. This morning I was meditating on this verse: “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). My heart was immediately overflowing with gratitude for the Lord’s work in my life regarding anger. I have a multitude of things to give thanks to the Lord for, but today I was filled with thanksgiving that I no longer yell.

No More Yelling

I haven’t yelled for about twenty-four years. I don’t have an exact date that I stopped yelling, but I remember about the time Anna was born thinking, “I can’t recall the last time I yelled.” Then I started watching and listening to myself. It was over. There was no more yelling. Praise God!

You might say that I stopped being angry and yelling because my children grew up, but I would have to tell you that there were still two more children to come after Anna. When Mary, our last child, was born, I had five children ages 7 and under—plenty of fuel for anger and yelling for many more years. It was over, however, and I am so grateful for the freedom the Lord gave from the yelling.

Freedom from Anger

Freedom from anger was a very real spiritual battle that was fought in my life. “Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand” (Ephesians 6:13). It wasn’t a one-thing, overnight change. It was a war that was waged in my heart and my mind against my flesh and my selfishness, where the anger rooted itself.

“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would” (Galatians 5:16-17).

Prayer for Victory over Anger

How did I walk in the Spirit? I prayed. I prayed several times every hour for victory over the anger and my angry responses. Anger had become so habitual for me that I had to focus on pausing to regroup my thoughts away from where they were inclined to go in my flesh and onto where the Spirit would direct them. My habits had to change from walking in the flesh to walking in the Spirit.

Armor of God and Anger

How did I walk in the Spirit? I put on the armor of God. Read Ephesians 6:10-18. For me, these verses were key. “Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints” (Ephesians 6:16-18). Satan used my failures to keep me in discouragement and depression, which only left me emotionally drained and more prone to the anger. A shield of faith, God’s Word, and prayer were my defense and weapons against not only the anger but Satan’s accusations.

Scripture and Anger

How did I walk in the Spirit? I obeyed what God taught me in His Word. I love this verse: “ A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). That was very true for me. When I stopped myself, just like I did on the telephone, and gave a soft answer to the situation the anger was defused. The telephone incident showed me that I could make a choice in that moment of emotion to do something contrary to what the feelings were driving inside me. It was pride that caused me to do that on the phone. It was love that motivated me to do that with my children.

No Longer Controlled by Anger

I am sure there are some of you who feel like that young, homeschooling mommy. That’s why I share my story, because if there was hope for victory for me, there is hope for victory for you! Anger controlled me for 16 years, but it hasn’t for the last 22 years. Praise the Lord!

There were other pieces to the victory over anger that I am rejoicing in today. Here are resources that might help you gain victory over anger: