How to Love Your Husband

I feel loved and encouraged when a friend or family member does something for me that saves me time, that is something I don’t enjoy doing, that is difficult for me to do, or that simply makes life easier in a big or little way. I believe the same is true for my husband. Steve and I will have been married for 40 years next month. One of the greatest joys in my life is that we are happily married. Because of the love I have for my husband, I want to bless him.

Several years ago, a number of ladies on a message board we hosted shared ways they loved their husbands by blessing them. Reading these little testimonials again uplifted my heart as I saw wives who desired to do practical things for their husbands that would make them feel the love these wives had for them. They also motivated me to look for ways to bless my husband. I wanted to share with you what these wives gave to me, hoping that they will spur you on to continue investing in that precious relationship you have with your husband.

—I try to make sure he never has to get his own drink of water or whatever. I try to notice if it is almost empty and ask him if he would like a refill. I serve him his plate of food first at the meals.
—I lay his clothes out for him the night before. He has to dress nicely, and he HATES looking for something to wear. I try to have it all nicely pressed and a matching tie on the hanger, too.
—I never talk badly about him, ever, no matter what.
—When I’m done washing, drying, and folding the clothes, I put them away. For my husband, this is an extra he really appreciates!
—I leave him notes in unexpected places—mirror, pant’s pocket, lunch cooler, etc. The notes say things like, “You’re the best . . . Thanks for all you do . . . I miss you every day . . . Can’t wait for you to be home from work . . . Praying for you . . . Have a super day . . .”
—Getting my husband’s morning coffee is a blessing to him.
—It is so much fun for me to bless my husband! He has a sweet tooth, so I try to fill it with nutritionally superior goodies, which he loves.
—I CONSTANTLY remind him of how very thankful I am for him, how I appreciate that he provides for our family, and how wonderful he is.
—I really try to make sure I do whatever he mentions that needs to be done because he rarely asks me to do anything for him.
—My husband likes it when I call him during the day, out of the blue, just to say, “I love you,” or “I miss you.” He told me that really makes him feel special.
—I make bread from freshly milled flour because my husband loves it.
—I try to always have some freshly-baked goodies around for him and ask him what he would like me to bake.
—I make meals that I know will please him and always serve him first.
—He calls me his “wardrobe consultant.” I try to help him pick out his clothes, making sure his socks, belt, and shoes match.
—I always say “I love you” whenever we are parting.
—I make the phone calls he asks me to make.
—I send out birthday cards and such to his family members.
—Because my husband has trouble getting up on time in the morning, I set an alarm to make sure I get up and then make sure he gets up on time.
—I purchased a small whiteboard and hung it by the back door. It is for his use only. I asked him to write extra things on it that he would like me to accomplish each day, such as phone calls, research, or errands. I have a visual reminder of what he needs, and he is confident it will be done when he gets home. If I can’t finish it that day, I call and ask him if it can be delayed.
—I put a small basket in our bathroom with two mini-notebooks and a pen in it. One notebook is for him, and the other is for me. I try to write a note on each page and date it. I try to do this at least twice a week. I write things about appreciating something he’s done, like taking out the trash, or share my admiration for character traits that I see in him.
—I call when I am going to be late.
—Dinner is always on the table at six at his request.
—I respect my husband’s opinions and wisdom.

Steve and I have experienced the documented fact that relationships grow through our investment in them. Sometimes as busy moms we become so focused on children, homeschooling, homemaking, and other activities that we lose our emphasis on the husband and wife relationship.

I recently listened to a Dr. SM Davis message on marriage and was reminded that when the children leave home and the nest is empty, a husband and wife want to have a friendship and a love for each other that makes their lives happy and enjoyable. I believe the key to that end is ongoing investment during these years of raising children. We have found that it is easy to become lazy and take one another for granted. Anything of value takes effort.

My prayer is that, as you read the ways other wives invest in their husbands’ lives, you will recall or discover ways that your husband feels loved by you. Then, put them into practice. As I read through the list I am sharing with you, I thought about how, for the most part, each of these things takes very little time, and yet how strongly they communicate “I love you. You are important to me. I value you.” I want Steve to feel that from me. I think you want your husband to feel it from you.