Category Archives: Seriously

You Have Them!

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Everyone has them.
Moses had them.
David had them.
Jeremiah had them.
Jesus had them.
The apostles had them.
We will all have them.

Everyone will have critics (of the destructive rather than the constructive variety), regardless whether you are worldly or conservative. Sure, some will be louder than others, but the venom is always poisonous. Their purpose is not to build up but to tear down. Today, there are so many self-professed experts on everyone else’s business. They might not be able to make a living or raise commendable children, but they sure are quick to tell everyone else what to do.

Would you believe they can be a blessing? One way you can tell you are on the right track is by who dislikes and criticizes you. It is a scary thing when the wrong people like you.

“Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” (Matthew 5:10-12)

Steve

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Ouch

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Disease comes in varying severities. Leprosy, for instance, is an awful disease that hideously disfigures a person. I understand that one major problem with leprosy is that sufferers might have no feeling in their extremities, such as their fingers or toes. Thus the person can’t tell when he is doing something that is damaging to his hands or feet.

A leper can pick up a scalding hot pan and severely burn himself and not even know it. Though most of us do all we can to avoid pain, lepers understand that pain is a good thing in protecting the body.

Pain is a warning signal, and as much as we dislike it, it is a very good thing. Pain is much like an alarm on your home security system, which alerts you that something is wrong and of possible danger.

I wonder if many dads are “spiritual lepers.” The “body” of his family is experiencing pain, but instead of taking measures to stop it, he ignores it or perhaps is so out of touch that he doesn’t even sense it. The result is not pretty. The good news for the family is that there is hope, but fixing the “disease” of many bad decisions is painful and takes both time and commitment.

“But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a house falleth.” (Luke 11:17)

Steve

Helicopter Parenting

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When a parent “hovers” over his child, we call it helicopter parenting. Others might call that child-centered parenting. Sadly, it confirms to the child that the world actually DOES revolve around him or her. We are all born thinking that; helicopter parenting just confirms it.

“For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3)

Steve

The High Water Mark

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Have you observed churches where the body doesn’t seem to rise above the Pastor/Elder? Look around and do your own survey—maybe even at your church. The one in leadership usually represents the “high-water” mark for:

  • abiding in the Lord Jesus (John 15:5-8)
  • reaching the lost (Proverbs 11:30)
  • loving children (Mark 10:13-16)
  • concern for the unborn (Psalm 106:38)
  • living a life of holiness (1 Peter 1:16)

These aspects of his life in Christ are first impressed upon his own family and then in the body he is shepherding.

Speaking of which, what about your family? Generally, Dad represents the “high-water” mark for his family. The life in Christ we live out represents our hunger and thirst for the Lord Jesus, for His Word, for children, for the lost, for the unborn, and for living a life that is pleasing to our Lord. Our life is being impressed upon our family. Are we leaving an impression God is pleased with?

May we be able to say like Paul, “Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).

Steve

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Molasses and Waffler

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Pity the poor wife who is trying hard to follow her molasses moving husband. Even with her “brakes on,” she coasts ahead of him.

Or maybe she tries to follow, but he waffles back and forth without a family vision, or, if he has one, won’t consistently follow it. So one minute she is following, but another, when he abruptly changes direction, she is now in front.

May I not make it difficult for my wife to follow. To do this, I have to know where I am going and then be committed to staying the course. Got vision? If no, then get one. If yes, then follow it!

“Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

Steve

Dad – The Linchpin

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How important am I to my family? If I were gone forever out of the family, would they be better or worse off? Am I just a paycheck? (The government can provide that.) Do I drive my family to church? (That is good, but many churches have busses for that.) Am I a friend? (That’s good, too, but pets provide great companionship.)

The paycheck is only a means to fulfill my primary job of leading and discipling. I take them to church BUT more importantly I lead them as an example of life in Christ and in God’s Word daily during family Bible time.

My ability to disciple my children is proportionate to my relationship with them. Far more important than being their friend is my being their earthly father who loves, invests, admonishes, and leads them in following our Lord Jesus. The quality of their lives depends on it. How purposeful in setting direction, how committed and how actively am I discipling my children in a relationship with Jesus Christ? Would they miss that if I were gone?

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

Steve

Scarcity

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Some things are rare today:

  • Diamonds
  • Platinum
  • Gold
  • Commitment
  • Honor
  • Punctuality
  • Purity
  • Diligence
  • Initiative
  • Self-control

Scarcity makes things valuable because they are rare.

Some things are rare because they are hard to find or costly to produce.

Others we choose to make rare or scarce because they are inconvenient to the flesh. Improvement is a choice — a really good one for us and our children.

“Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding. For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her. Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honour” (Proverbs 3:13-16).

Steve

It’s in the Trash!

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steve-seriouslyTwo years ago the Maxwell men wanted to grow beards for a planned trip to Colorado, and I decided to participate. I found two things I liked about the beard—my “new” face and not shaving. Frankly, I soon came to prefer my appearance with the beard. It took some adjusting for Teri, but over time she came to like it better, too. The “no shaving” needs no further explanation. Don’t be fooled, however. I soon discovered that trimming a beard once a week is much more involved than simply shaving every day.

Lately, I’d been feeling the nudging of the Holy Spirit to shave it. Why? Who knows, but I became certain the Lord was leading me to. So the beard is gone.

The benefits:

  • Teri loves kissing my smooth face (much preferred over the prickly beard).
  • Anna and Mary love that they can now see my facial expressions whereas they couldn’t with the beard.
  • Teri loves kissing my smooth face (much preferred over the prickly beard).
  • Shaving is definitely easier than trimming (even though it probably takes a bit longer when totaled over the week’s time).
  • Teri loves kissing my smooth face (much preferred over the prickly beard).
  • I realized that men who are trusted are typically beardless—military personnel, most corporate leaders, and police officers. (This one may be difficult to swallow for some, but it is what it is.)
  • Teri loves kissing my smooth face (much preferred over the prickly beard).

“But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.”
(Galatians 5:18)

Steve

A Test of a Heart

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A good test of whom I love more, myself or the Lord, is where would I rather err? Is pleasing the Lord or myself more important to me?

Would I choose to bypass something enjoyable if I’m unsure whether the Lord would be pleased with my doing it, or would I choose instead to go ahead and do it even though He may be displeased? (After all, He is a forgiving God, right?)

Say there is an activity I’m confident is not sinful, but I’m not sure whether the Lord would be pleased if I spent my time on it. (I’ve found that most times if I’m not sure, likely it is not something the Lord is pleased with.) Where would I err, on my own pleasure or on pleasing the Lord? Would I choose to forgo something I would like to do? Or would I go ahead and do it, justifying it in my mind as I know other Christians do it, so I can, too.

A corollary to this is the mindset that I’d rather ask forgiveness than seek to please.

“But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.” (Matthew 16:23)

Steve

Terrifying

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I remember being at a swimming pool as a child when someone twice my size got upset and grabbed me and held me under water. After a while my lungs burned and screamed for air.

Have you ever had a similar experience? If so, then you can especially appreciate how serious God is in Matthew 18:6 about causing someone to stumble. “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”

This verse should be terrifying to a dad who might cause his child to stumble. Fathers, whom God holds especially accountable for raising their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), are often the very ones who cause their own children to stumble, to doubt, or to seek after the world.

We can do this through:

  • bad or careless decisions
  • things we may bring into the home
  • what we allow our children to watch on media
  • what we allow them to participate in

Steve