Category Archives: Series

Protecting Against Deception – Part 3

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In December we began a series focusing on protecting Christian families from deception (please read Part 1 and Part 2 if you haven’t already). It is easy to be deceived, and the consequences can be far-reaching. Last month, we started looking at the first and greatest deception recorded in Scripture, where in the garden Satan won, and all mankind has suffered since then. We too will suffer when we are deceived. But who would choose to be deceived, and why then would God allow or bring consequences as a result of a deception? How can we guard against deception?

“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat” (Genesis 3:6).

After listening to the serpent’s deceptive words, Eve stood gazing at the forbidden fruit. She determined that it would be good to eat, that it was beautiful to behold, and that she wanted to be wise. She allowed her mind to follow the serpent’s deceptive reasoning when he indicated there were not any negative consequences of eating the forbidden fruit because there hadn’t been any when eating the other fruit. Even though Eve was deceived, God still held her accountable for the disobedience that came as a result of that deception.

Eve was the first to be deceived and to follow that deception into disobedience, reaping its consequences. However, we are vulnerable to doing the same. The longer we dwell on something forbidden, the more likely we are to deceive ourselves, justify wrong actions, and pursue it. First we behold, and then we hold. The forbidden fruit was pleasing to the eye. The flesh and sin appeal to our eyesight which is the door to our soul. How great is the danger.

Scripture tells us we must flee from temptation. “Flee also youthful lusts…” (2 Timothy 2:22). If we don’t want to be deceived, we will take our gaze off of the temptations of the flesh and run from them. We will stop looking at them, and go in the other direction. We will teach our children this as well.

When my boys go with me to the Kansas City homeless mission once a month, we often discuss the temptations of the flesh that have deceived those who find shelter at the mission. We discuss how the alcohol that has ruined some of these men’s lives didn’t tell them up front what the consequences would be. It was deceptive. It appealed to the flesh. It isn’t a temptation if it isn’t appealing, and the only way it claims its victims is by deception. No one who takes his first drink plans to become an alcoholic living on the street. The mission men have been deceived, and they have suffered the consequences of that deception in their lives and in the lives of their families.

Those are concrete examples I can show to my sons, but I find that fleshly temptations leading to deception also apply in Christian men’s lives who haven’t been deceived by those same appetites. Instead they are deceived by more subtle deceptions involving how they spend their time, how they use their money, and where they will put their focus. When we desire something, we are more vulnerable to allowing ourselves to believe a deception—because we want to believe it. If we ourselves are following deception, we can be quite sure our families will be as well.

Eve was deceived, but Adam was just plain disobedient. Eve took and ate and gave to Adam, who was with her. Scripture doesn’t tell us how close Adam was to her. However, she did not have to go looking for him. Adam knew God’s command was not to eat, he had not intervened when Eve ate, and he then had to choose either to follow Eve or to obey his God. By not taking action when he should have, he now had a far worse decision to make.

How could Adam have protected Eve? There is nothing to indicate in the previous verses that they should have been on guard. Adam had known no danger, nor had he any reason to suspect they were at risk. They were at peace living in paradise, yet danger was so very close. This is how deception works. A person is most susceptible when he isn’t suspecting anything. It may seem peaceful for us in our lives and families, yet we must be prepared and on guard against deception.

God had prepared Adam and Eve to withstand the deception that Eve experienced and the disobedience of Adam by giving them clear direction. He had said not to eat of the fruit from that one particular tree. Adam and Eve had the truth of His Word on which to stand against the deception.

We, as well, will protect ourselves and our families from deception by standing on the truth of the Word. We can only stand on it if we spend time in the Word and study it—individually and as a family. “Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:31-32). It is God’s Word that keeps us in the truth and away from the bondage resulting from deception.

The Lord Jesus uses the Word in our lives to change us from the inside out. By directing us to what edifies, He doesn’t have to have an endless list of things that we can’t do. When we focus on what is good, then what is harmful is not a danger. If Adam and Eve had set their hearts on God’s Word, they would have been content with the good fruit they could eat. They would have known that if God wanted them to have the forbidden fruit, He would have offered it to them. They would not have been vulnerable to the deception and disobedience. The same is true for us today. Instead of being concerned with the line of sin, we should concentrate on what is clearly pleasing to the Lord. When this is the case, we are shielding ourselves from deception and disobedience.

If only Adam had been continually reminding Eve of what God had commanded them, perhaps she wouldn’t have been deceived. Ephesians 5:25-27 says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” Adam could have been daily washing Eve with the Word of God, which would have fortified her in the Truth that could have allowed her to withstand the deception.

We protect our families from deception by not being deceived ourselves. Have you evaluated your life against Scripture? Can you Biblically justify how you spend your time, how you use your money, and where your focus is? Are you teaching your children to flee youthful lusts? Are you washing your family with the water of the Word every day? Are you continually putting your family’s hearts and minds on the Lord Jesus Christ?

When a Wife Disagrees with Her Husband – Part 3

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In this Mom’s Corner series, we are considering the common problem a wife will face when she disagrees with her husband. Every wife will experience this difficulty in her marriage to some degree, but some will have great struggles because the disagreements are so frequent or of such mammoth proportions. The difference of heart may be as simple as how an evening of time is spent or as big as how the children are educated. No matter what proportion it is, a wife wants to look to Scripture to determine the path the Lord Jesus would have for her when these situations surface. I would encourage you to read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series for the background from which we are continuing on this topic. This series of articles is not written for wives who are in abusive marriages.

Let’s review our key verses: “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement” (1 Peter 3:1-6).

1 Peter 3 is written specifically to wives and gives detailed, clear instruction as to what they should do if they have husbands who don’t obey the word. Even though this husband isn’t following the Lord, the wife is still told to be in subjection to her husband so that her husband can be won without her saying anything, but rather by her meek and quiet spirit. The teaching is definitive. However, the daily living out of 1 Peter 3 becomes the challenge. It will be an ongoing battle with the flesh that wants to keep verbally pushing a husband for change and is fearful of the consequences of no change.

The example given to us of women who had meek and quiet spirits rather than words of disagreement are holy women of old, specifically Sarah. We are told that Sarah obeyed Abraham, even calling him lord. Yet, consider the husband she was obeying. In order to protect himself, Abraham told Sarah to say she was his sister—and she was his half-sister—if they were ever approached by the men of the countries through which they were traveling. This actually happened twice. Because of Sarah’s beauty and obedience to her husband, she was taken two times into another man’s harem. Sarah chose to be subject to her husband rather than give in to her fear. To save his own skin, Abraham let his wife down, but God didn’t. You can read these two accounts in Genesis 12:11-20 and Genesis 20.

1 Peter 3:6 tells us, “. . . whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” I think Sarah would have had good reason to be fearful, but she is set up as an example to us. We are encouraged not to be fearful. Why does a wife speak up to her husband when she disagrees with him? Often her motivation is fear. What will happen to our finances if he makes these decisions? What will happen to our children if he makes these decisions? What will happen to me if he makes these decisions? What will happen to our future if he makes these decisions?

Verse 2 of 1 Peter 3 says that our pure behavior is to be aligned with fear, while verse 6 instructs us not to be afraid. The fear in verse two would have to do with our fear of God and the desire He has for a wife’s submission to God as her Lord and to her husband. Verse 6 is referring to not being afraid of the outcome of choosing to be in subjection to a husband, to win him without a word, and to have a meek and quiet spirit.

A wife’s hope and expectation has to be in her Lord Jesus Christ, not in what her husband does or does not do. It is a spiritual path of growing in faith for a wife. Whether or not a husband is walking in obedience to the Lord does not affect a wife’s obedience to Jesus’ instruction in 1 Peter 3, where she is admonished to win her husband without a word, by her meek and quiet spirit, and not to give in to fear.

Let me share with you a testimony from a wife who has been reading this series and writes about her personal experiences:

“Thank you so much for addressing the issue of disagreements between spouses. My husband has been backslidden from the Lord for a few years now. I often hear these 1 Peter 3 verses, but it can be hard to actually apply them to daily living. I know how hard it is to be quiet, when all you want to do is shake his eyes open to the Word of God! It becomes even harder to obey the Scripture as the years go by without becoming bitter and resentful if no change takes place.

“So I hope you will also encourage ladies who have been there a while not to let their obedience falter. God told Joshua to ‘. . . be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law. . .’ (Joshua 1:7). As we submit to our husbands, our behavior must still be that which is godly. We must be patient, and have faith that God’s way is the only way which will prove victorious. I consider Moses, Abraham, David, and others—how long they had to wait to receive God’s promises. ‘Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass’ (Psalms 37:5).

“My husband’s heart has not turned back to the Lord yet, but he does allow me to faithfully attend church, homeschool our two children, and use Scriptures to guide them. I know that God would not be able to bless in these areas if I took the situation into my own hands.” An Obedient Wife

As I read this testimony, I sensed the pain this wife feels over a husband who is not spiritually leading his family, her overwhelming desire to be obedient to her Lord Jesus Christ in her own life, and the choice she is making to dwell on the blessings she has rather than what she wishes were different. What a difference it will make in a woman’s life if she will practice “bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Practically speaking, that would mean doing what “An Obedient Wife” has done by being thankful for what she has and is able to do rather than being unhappy about what isn’t happening. “Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:20). “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Philippians 4:11). The Lord Jesus would have her be in subjection to her husband, despite his failures, rather than growing a critical spirit in her heart toward him.

May every wife study 1 Peter 3 and learn its application to her life. May we find the joy of obedience to the Lord Jesus in fulfilling our calling as wives—the easy aspects and the challenging ones as well. I still have more to share on this subject, so the series will continue.

When a Wife Disagrees with Her Husband – Part 2

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In this series of articles, we are looking at the difficult topic of how a Christian wife is to respond to a husband with whom she disagrees. The disagreement may be over small issues that come up from time to time, or it could point to major problems that are global and continuous. I would encourage you to read the first article to get the background and learn where we are picking up in this article. Please bear in mind that I am not a counselor, simply a sister in Christ. What I share in these articles is not addressing a wife in an abusive situation.

1 Peter 3:1-6 provides clear direction for wives when their husbands are not obediently following the Lord Jesus. These are the verses we are evaluating for help in how a wife deals with a husband whom she believes is making poor spiritual choices. “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”

While verse one tells a wife what she shouldn’t do to win the husband—use her words—verses two through four explain what she is to do. The first verse surprises me because it is so terribly hard for a wife to be quiet about what she perceives to be wrong decisions her husband is making. It can seem that if a wife doesn’t speak up, nothing will change. Verses two through four are more understandable to me. They go along with the old saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” Most wives have already tried using their words to persuade their husbands to a different course of action simply because that is a wife’s natural bent. They also have most likely discovered the ineffectiveness of doing this and perhaps have seen that it drives a wedge in their relationships with their husbands, developing a spirit of bitterness in each of their hearts.

Here is a short testimony from a wife who was encouraged by the first Mom’s Corner in this series and has experienced the ineffectiveness of using her words to try to change her husband:

“I’ve been praying for a while on how to handle things in a right spirit when my husband is wrong. Many times, biblically, I know I’m right and he’s wrong; however, because I keep trying to tell him, even nicely and sweetly, it just makes him not want to do it more. In addition, I’m just as wrong for not being quiet. I want to learn to pray instead of forcing him to understand the way it should be.” A wife learning to be obedient to 1 Peter 3

A wife can’t be responsible for her husband and his choices. However, she is responsible for herself and what she is doing. Here in 1 Peter, we see that she is to use her behavior—her purity and her meek and quiet spirit. Remember from the last Mom’s Corner that the word “conversation” used in this verse actually means “behavior.” A meek and quiet spirit is not only a vehicle to win her husband, but it also is of great price in the sight of God. I write much that relates to having a meek and quiet spirit, such asHomeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spiritand many of the Mom’s Corners. I don’t want to repeat what is there, so I suggest if you want more information on a meek and quiet spirit, you read some of those materials.

As a sister in the Lord, I want to exhort and encourage a wife to look closely at what is going on in her life, making that her main and only focus, rather than her husband’s behavior and decisions. It is natural for a woman to be consumed with the problems she is facing, and then when her husband doesn’t change, she becomes bitter. This then causes her to have negative, controlling, condescending, disappointed attitudes and responses that are evident to her husband and to her children even if they aren’t to her. She doesn’t see that her disobedience to the Lord’s direction for her in 1 Peter 3 is no different from the disobedience her husband is exhibiting in other areas of life.

I would like to share with you a specific testimony about this from a mom who read the first article in this series. Here is what she writes:

“My husband is not saved, and I have one six-year-old child. It grieves my heart to let my husband allow my son to be disobedient. However, I know how it grieves the Holy Spirit and our Father when He sees me, His child, being disobedient. It is so hard to be quiet.

“Before reading your article, I had just had a disagreement with my husband over a child training issue. I called him back and apologized for being contentious. He said thank you, and I heard a sense of relief in his voice. Women do not really know how their words affect men. The Lord shows me how real He is through the life-giving words of Scripture. I’m encouraged by the fact that the more our society departs from His word, the more we will be able to see the beauty of His way.” Another wife learning to be obedient to 1 Peter 3

The spiritual walk of a wife who does not agree with her husband, whether it is in small areas or huge ones, is a walk of faith and spiritual growth. The ability to win a husband without a word but by her behavior—pure, meek, and quiet—will not be achieved in her own strength. It will be a work of the Lord Jesus in her life as she submits herself first and foremost to the grace and direction of God. Scripture gives us the hope of victory. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).

Some wives might say, “But I have tried so many times, and I am just too weak. I end up saying something even when I know I should be quiet.” Here is encouragement for them. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

My desire is to help wives look to Scripture for their guidance in how to respond to their husbands in areas of disagreement, whether they are minor or major. May I challenge you to purpose to be quiet at those times of conflict. Pray for your husband, pray for the Lord’s strength in living out that desire of your heart, and repent if you fail. Focus on your own obedience to the Lord by being quiet and developing a meek and quiet spirit rather than dwelling on your husband’s disobedience. In the next portions of this series, I plan to finish looking at 1 Peter 1:1-6, answer some specific questions that were asked from the last article, and share more testimonies as encouragement for those who are feeling very alone in this struggle.

Protecting Against Deception – Part 2

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In December we began a series focusing on protecting Christian families from deception. It is easy to be deceived, and the consequences can be far-reaching. There has been no greater deception than the first one recorded in Scripture, where in the garden, Satan won, and all mankind has suffered since then. When we choose not to follow God’s Word, even if the choice was due to being deceived, we will lose, and there will be consequences for our family. May this series on deception help Dad to be on guard against being deceived.

“Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. . . .” (Genesis 3:1)

Subtil means that the serpent, controlled by Satan, was crafty and skilled in deception with a wicked agenda. Satan’s plan for everyone is contrary to God’s calling. Satan wants to separate us from fellowship with God and from being obedient to our Lord as we will observe in these verses. We must never underestimate the ability of our opponent, the weakness and depravity of our own flesh, and how that combination makes us vulnerable to deception. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

“. . . And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?” (Genesis 3:1)

Now we begin to see Satan’s wicked agenda as he exploits Eve’s weakness. Satan will attack the family through any vulnerability, whether it be the wife’s (1 Peter 3:7), the dad’s, or the children’s weak areas. One of the primary weapons Satan uses is questioning God’s Word, especially as it relates to the boundaries God places on our lives. He wants to convince us that there will be no consequences if we disobey. God places boundaries for our protection, but our pride wants freedom without constraint. The less we know of God’s Word, and the more insistent that we are “free in Christ” to do as we please, the more vulnerable we become to deception. Real freedom in Christ will be consistent with Galatians 5:13: “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”

Often believers in the Lord Jesus Christ overestimate their own “goodness” and their resistance to deception. We still have the flesh with us, and therefore, our wicked hearts make us susceptible to being led astray. In one respect, we are a sin salesman’s dream come true since our hearts desperately desire what sin offers us, and we can choose to believe the deception. “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed” (James 1:14).

Joshua was deceived by the Gibeonites because he didn’t inquire of the Lord as to whether they were telling him the truth. Eve should have taken the new doctrine she was hearing from the serpent to her authority, Adam. Satan’s initial deception involved Eve, who at this time had no sin nature. Of all people, she should have been the most resistant to sin. If she was deceived, how much more at risk are we? Keep in mind, though, Eve was deceived, but Adam disobeyed.

“And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.” (Genesis 3:2-3)

Eve now reveals a disconnect with God’s actual command as stated in Genesis 3:11: “. . . I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat . . .” It is very possible that Eve had a resistant attitude toward God’s command not to eat from the tree because she added that they couldn’t touch it either.

What practical lessons can be gleaned from just this section on the initial deception? First, we can see that when we have a negative attitude toward God’s clear commands, we open ourselves up to false doctrine. Eve was not willing to accept God’s command not to eat the fruit—she changed what the command was.

In John 8:41-45 Jesus was rebuking the Pharisees. They weren’t able to receive Jesus’ speech as truth since they were disobeying God and obeying Satan. Because of their disobedience, they had embraced false doctrine and could not recognize Truth. As we obey the clear teachings of Scripture, we will find new truths become clear that we didn’t understand before. Sometimes a dad will wonder why his family is different, less godly, than another family. The answer may boil down to one of obedience. God gives more light and understanding of doctrine as we obey the light He gives. “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself” (John 7:17).

Next, we must always be suspicious when we are being challenged or encouraged to less obedience to the Word and more freedom of choice. We need to be in God’s Word daily discussing with our families how it applies to life and welcoming the safeguards God has put in place for us. Our flesh doesn’t like restraints, but it loves freedom. Paul was willing to restrict any freedom he had if it meant not causing a brother to stumble. “Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend” (1 Corinthians 8:13). Are we willing servants of the Lord Jesus who can deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Him (Matthew 16:24)? That doesn’t sound like much personal freedom of choice does it? An automatic red flag should appear anytime someone encourages us toward more freedom, questions obedience, and denies consequences.

Eve didn’t know that she was being deceived. Deception won’t tell us that it is not truth. Therefore, we must turn to our source of truth—the Bible. Our focus needs to be the Word and obeying the light God gives us. The Holy Spirit has freedom to direct us, but He will do so consistently with the Word. May we learn the voice of the Shepherd by hearing it daily. John 10 tells us that the sheep know the Shepherd’s voice and will follow it. The more we are in His Word, the more our souls will be tuned to knowing our Lord’s voice from that of the deceiver.

Eve was in the wrong company. Dad, what company are you keeping? To whom are you listening? What sort of significant secular influences do you have—friends, media, music, or entertainment? We can deceive ourselves by saying, “It won’t affect me. I can take what I want and leave the bad.”

Years ago I was listening to a popular, secular talk show because I wanted to be informed about politics. This show is also very entertaining. It often mocks people and is filled with inappropriate innuendoes. I figured I could “tune out” the bad and receive the good. During that time, I found myself struggling with wrong thoughts. I would cast those thoughts down, but they just kept coming back. Finally, the Lord prompted me to discontinue listening to that program, and amazingly, all those wrong thoughts disappeared. Whatever we allow into our minds will have an influence on us. What sort of company does your family keep?

Why was Adam not protecting Eve? God gave Adam the role of keeping the garden, and he was likely aware that Eve was talking to the serpent. This would have been surprising because there is no indication that any of the other creatures were able to speak. Eve did not turn to Adam, nor did Adam intervene in protecting Eve. Are there influences that Mom is exposed to or “counsel” she is hearing that she would do well to discuss with her husband? Is her husband aware of what others are saying to her? Many well meaning “friends” might be “encouraging” her that she needs more time for herself, shouldn’t be homeschooling, or shouldn’t be having more children. God made a husband and wife to be no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, the wife should share the outside advice she is hearing with her husband. Do our wives have confidence that we have their best interests before the Lord always? Can they trust us with their deepest needs and thoughts? A great hindrance to a wife opening her heart to her husband is if he is a selfish man who cares only about his own preferences. That is why it is so important that we have hearts for our families with a vision for where those families are called to go. Then we must be obediently following the Lord.

If we don’t want our families to be deceived, we will lead them daily into the Word, the source of truth, and teach them to obey the Word. (Feed My Sheep: A Practical Guide to Daily Family Devotions is a resource encouraging you to have daily time in God’s Word with your family and then showing you practically how to do it.) A positive attitude toward obedience begins in our lives. We will guard our families from deceptive influences, again starting with us. Next month, Lord willing, we will continue to look at this subject of deception and the Christian family.

When a Wife Disagrees with Her Husband – Part 1

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Steve and I often receive e-mails from wives asking questions about how to respond to a husband with whom they disagree in some way. This is obviously a situation that every wife will have to deal with in her marriage; for many it will be on a regular basis. Some who write to us give an example of one particular issue of disagreement, such as her desire to have more children while he says “no” or activities he allows for the children from which she thinks they should be sheltered. Here is an example from a Mom’s Corner request e-mail:

We’ve managed to keep most of our children’s hearts, but two of them just seem determined to test us and stray. My husband isn’t sure that we are losing their hearts. He thinks that their behavior is ‘normal’ for children their age. One is eleven, the other seven. As a mom, I fear being too harsh and severing that connection completely, but I also fear being too soft and watching them slip further away. My husband sees no problem at all with their conniving, lying, and trickery to get out of chores, but I think that’s because he’s gone all day and can’t deal with things immediately. So is there a problem? Is it me? Do I leave it until it becomes a problem for my husband? I would appreciate a Corner in response to this. A questioning wife

Other wives are crying out for answers to the questions and problems raised from living with a husband who either isn’t saved or is not following the Lord. The anguish in her heart not only for herself but also for the consequences in the children’s lives is evident. These e-mails relate stories of husbands who don’t lead their families spiritually, bring negative influences into the home, allow the children do be involved in things that are spiritually harmful to them, don’t spend time with their families, leave decision making to their wives, and more. If the man attends church, he may appear to be like the other men, but his wife knows a different story at home. These wives are caught in a terrible emotional dilemma: how to submit to and honor a man who isn’t being what God wants him to be and is leading the children down the same path. Here is an example of this kind of situation, also from a Mom’s Corner request e-mail:

I am married to an unbeliever who says he is a Christian. How do I keep him from cussing around our son and treating him with contempt? He also watches things on TV that are inappropriate. He then tells our son he is an adult and will watch what he wants! He is very controlling and rude. He goes to church with us about 60 percent of the time. Please address this issue. Thank you!!! Another questioning wife

I am not a counselor, but I can share some thoughts as a sister in Christ that I believe relate Scripturally to the wives who have a particular area of disagreement with their husbands and also to those whose husbands are not leading their families spiritually at all. I give these ideas based on knowing myself and from interacting with other wives who have written about similar situations. What I am writing is not addressed to wives who are victims of abuse.

While you may not find yourself facing these same scenarios, every wife has a husband who will sin at least from time to time. She needs to know how the Lord wants her to respond to her husband at these moments, and what she is to do with her thoughts. I think the verses we will be looking at in these Mom’s Corners could apply to wives who have a godly, Christian marriage.

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement” (1 Peter 3:1-6).

The first part of 1 Peter 3 is written specifically for a wife with a husband who is not obeying the word—either he is not saved, he is not following the Lord Jesus with his life, or he is not obeying in a specific area. This section of Scripture sets a clear path for a wife if she disagrees with her husband when he is not following the Lord and what it is that will bring about change in him, if it is to happen.

Often Scripture is silent in areas about which we would like exact direction, but here we find six verses that deal with a problem that wives face and for which they want biblical answers. Sometimes, I have read others who suggest a wife respond to a sinful husband in ways outlined in other sections of Scripture discussing how one believer relates to another. However, 1 Peter 3:1-6 would seem to supersede those verses since these are talking specifically to a wife.

The keys in this portion of Scripture I believe are:
“without a word”
“meek and quiet spirit”
“calling him lord”
“not afraid with any amazement”

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives” (1 Peter 3:1). I find this verse to be most amazing. A wife is to be in subjection to her husband—even the husband who is not obeying the word. That kind of husband would be the most difficult husband to follow.

When a wife disagrees with her husband, either she is right or he is right. Let’s first assume that she is discerning Scripture correctly, and her husband it the one not obeying the Word. Then I believe 1 Peter 3:1 would apply. The verse says she is not to say a word.

Often it is a wife’s words that get her into trouble. She sees something she thinks isn’t right. She expresses her concern, unhappiness, or dissatisfaction. Nothing changes. She brings it up again, in another way. Nothing changes. Over the course of the years, this becomes a continual pattern for her. She has tried repeatedly with her words to win her husband to her way of thinking. Rather than being successful, she has grown the wedge between them. Perhaps the reason she hasn’t been successful has to do with the teaching in these verses.

While I believe strongly in the truth 1 Peter 3:1 teaches for a wife in how to handle a disagreement with her husband, I am not saying it is easy. I have been trying to learn to be obedient to this verse for over thirty years (in the Loving Your Husband session, I share practical examples). There has certainly been improvement in my life, but I have further to go. However, it is my heart’s desire to keep praying and asking the Lord for His grace in this area. I also ask Steve’s forgiveness when I fail, and I try to choose the path of obedience when a conflict rages in my heart over wanting to say something versus being quiet.

The second possibility is that the husband is right, and the wife is wrong. In this case it is obviously best that the wife is quiet and doesn’t persuade her husband to her position. Therefore, it appears to me that whether a wife is right or wrong, her best direction when there is disagreement between her husband and her is to be quiet.

The word “conversation” in verses one and two does not refer to spoken words between people. It is the same Greek word (anastrepho) in both verse one and two. According to Strong’s Greek and Hebrew dictionary, it means “behavior.” A husband is not won by the words of his wife but rather by her behavior.

There is much more I want to share in relation to this passage of Scripture and our roles as Christian wives. I am going to make this into a Mom’s Corner series. For now, I want to challenge you to consider how these verses relate to you personally, particularly the section about winning a husband without words.

Protecting Against Deception – Part 1

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I remember once speaking with a man who had owned a liquor store while professing to be a Christian. I asked him whether selling alcohol, which ruined lives, and being a “Christian” seemed to be a conflict. He insisted that there was no conflict because it was a great opportunity to witness to people.

Have you noticed how easy it is to deceive yourself? I must admit, it is true in my life as well. I have shared in previous Dad’s Corners some examples of times I have deceived myself. The consequences for being deceived can range from minor to terrible.

Perhaps the greatest and most disastrous deception is a man believing he is saved when in fact he is headed for hell. He may be thinking he is going to heaven because he once, without really meaning it, repeated a prayer someone told him to pray, or is religious, or goes to church, or considers himself to be a good person. However, this may be the reality: “Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity” (Matthew 7:22-23). Without repenting from sin and placing faith in Jesus, a person is bound for hell. “And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel” (Mark 1:15). “For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another” (Titus 3:3). I would encourage every dad reading this to go through 1 John and evaluate whether you are in Christ. It is too important to take a chance on being deceived.

As dads, it is our responsibility to lead our families down the path the Lord has set before us. “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5:10). Therefore, it is vitally important that we do all we can to protect ourselves from deception. Jesus warned about leaders who have a problem: “Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch” (Matthew 15:14).

First, I have to say that I believe it is unlikely, if not impossible, to embrace truth in every aspect of our lives. As long as we have a wicked and depraved heart, we will be susceptible to believing a lie. “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed” (James 1:14). Feeding our families may be difficult too, but is that any reason to give up, letting them go hungry? Of course not. We must fight the fight, lean not on our own understanding, and rest in the God of our strength. “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer” (Psalms 19:14).

As the leaders of our families, how does protecting against deception begin in our own lives? Self-examination becomes difficult because, if we are deceived, we likely aren’t going to be able to see it in ourselves. That is why the truth of God’s Word and the affirmation of His Spirit is critical. Are we having a quality personal time in the Word and in prayer every day? Please don’t consider something like listening to a preacher while driving to work a quality personal devotion. “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly” (Matthew 6:6). We should get in a quiet place, with no distractions, and focus on the Word of God and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to our hearts. Next, are we leading our families in a family time of reading the Bible together every day? God’s Word is a mirror to our souls, and it will point out the sin in our lives. (If you aren’t sure how to have family devotions with your family, or you are struggling with being consistent, we would strongly encourage you to consider our audio resource called Feed My Sheep: A Practical Guide to Daily Family Devotions.)

Are we forsaking the sin that we know is wrong? May we never, never accept sin in our lives because the consequences, for if we do, will be far-reaching. As an example, we often receive an e-mail from a wife who tells us about her husband who is enslaved to a “private” wicked sin, and this desperate woman is crying out for help and encouragement. The husband’s life is bound to his sin, and he is poisoning his family with it, even though he has deceived himself by thinking it is a personal sin that affects only him. His sin yields the bad fruit of violating his marriage, his sons becoming enslaved to the same sin, plus other consequences as well. Normally this man is an angry man because of the internal conflict raging in his heart between his depraved sin and the knowledge that it is wrong. His anger then spreads throughout the family, making family life a cauldron of contention. “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul” (Proverbs 22:24-25). No matter how secure the chain that binds us to sin, we must yield it to be broken by the power of God. To receive God’s power, a man must begin with confession and repentance to his Lord and then to anyone he has offended. It may be that another man is needed to come alongside and help with accountability and support. In addition to a brother’s help, walls of protection might be needed to help guard against the pull of the flesh. May we be zealous for leading upright lives and not excuse sin in our lives.

Another important aspect of avoiding deception is obeying the truth that God has given us. “If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth” (1 John 1:6). The way we live our lives must be consistent with the truth that God has revealed to us. If it is not, we are choosing to walk in darkness. We can be encouraged because God will give grace when we repent. We set a positive example for our family by confessing, repenting, and obeying. If we know the Lord Jesus, we will obey Him. “And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments” (1 John 2:3).

Fellowship with other believers is also important in avoiding being deceived. Brothers need to exhort one another in the truth. “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25). When is the last time you loved a brother enough to ask him whether he was in the Word daily himself and leading his family in a daily Bible time? If you have not done this, why not? We are to exhort one another, and that is what God intends to happen within a fellowship. I know it is becoming more and more difficult to find like-minded, conservative churches. We must persevere until we find where and how the Lord would have us to worship. Truly, may we seek to obey the Lord Jesus in all areas.

Are we committed to walking in the truth and leading our families accordingly? Let no man deceive himself. What is sown shall be reaped. Next month we will look more deeply at deception and helping our families avoid it.

Do Your Children Have Beautiful Feet? – Part 5

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This Dad’s Corner I expect to be the last in the series on sharing our faith with others. A good introduction to this article is an e-mail we received from a mom because I believe many will relate to her thoughts on the series. A fitting conclusion would be some pretty amazing statistics that Christopher, my twenty-eight-year-old son, wrote down that further highlight how critical this topic is.

Steve

“Some months I take a few extra minutes to read the Dad’s Corner as well as the Mom’s Corner. This month was one of them. Just last night on the way to church, I was explaining to my children, ages 8, 6, 4, and 2, what our purpose in life was. I told them our purpose in life was not to have fun playing or doing chores or schoolwork or anything else. Our purpose is to tell people about Christ and how to get to Heaven. I pointed to the person in the car next to us and asked them, ‘What if that man right there is going to go to hell when he dies?’

“I explained to them that since we knew the way to Heaven, we needed to make sure we told others because if we didn’t tell them, they might never know that Jesus died for them and will forgive their sins if they only would ask Him. (At this point in time only my eight-year-old has gotten saved, but I thought they all should be taught to tell others about Christ’s love.)

“After all my talking and explaining to them what our purpose in life was, my six-year-old son looked at me very confused and replied, ‘Why don’t we then?’ Of course it hit directly to my heart. Very sadly I had to confess to him, ‘I don’t know.’ When we got to church, the message that God sent to my heart was about ‘our purpose in life’ and that we are to be telling others about Him. And today I read the Dad’s Corner which talked of the very same thing. I have purposed in my heart, as of today, to start telling people about Christ for their sake, and for the sake of my children, so that they have an example to live by and hopefully not have to struggle with this issue as they grow into adults.

“Thanks for taking the time each month to encourage people like me.” (Used by permission.)

Statistics and Thoughts from Christopher

When I was twenty-six years old, the Lord began burdening my heart to share the gospel. I was convicted over my unfaithfulness of not being an outspoken witness in the years prior. As I began to speak with the lost, I was overwhelmed to see the Holy Spirit working in hearts and lives.

For some reason, which I couldn’t explain at the time, I felt His leading to keep track of the number of people with which I was able to share. After a period of time, I felt led to stop keeping track. I realized that a month had transpired.

The results?

December 10 through January 10:

Total tracts given out: 155
Number of individual people who received tract(s): 101
Number of people who rejected a tract: 4
Sharing on the telephone: 18 (telemarketers, customer service calls, etc.)
Number who were closed/cold: 1
Number I was able to share the gospel with: 11
Number who were already saved: 6
Strangers who in one form or another heard the gospel: 112

It wasn’t until several months later that I realized the significance of those numbers. Those numbers represented one month of my life as I sought to share with the lost. But one hundred months had transpired from the time I was eighteen until that particular month; one hundred months during which I was not as faithful of a witness as I should have been.

What would happen if I were to multiply the numbers in that one month by one hundred—with the resulting figures representing the prior years of unfaithfulness?

Age 18 through 26: (years of unfaithfulness)

Tracts NOT given out: 15,500
Individual people who didn’t receive a tract: 10,100
Number of missed rejections: 400
Missed telephone witnessing: 1,800
Number missed who were closed/cold: 100
Number missed sharing the Gospel with: 1,100
Number missed who were already saved: 600
Potential number of strangers whom I DIDN’T share with: 11,200

Those numbers could have been a bit higher or lower, but they are still staggering! The numbers represent just one person’s efforts (or lack of efforts) over the course of eight years. While I cannot go back and change those years, I can seek to obey on a day-by-day basis as the Lord Jesus continues to give me breath.

I wonder what numbers you might be amassing? Are they numbers of faithfully sharing with the lost? Or are they numbers of disobedience by keeping quiet?

As a father, besides considering your personal impact on others, what about the impact of your children? If they do not see you sharing the gospel with the lost, do you think they will become faithful witnesses?

Instead of one person being responsible for 11,200 souls not hearing the gospel, might a father, through the lives of his children, be responsible for hundreds of thousands of souls? The math is simple and straightforward. The result is either heartbreakingly sad or incredibly exciting—depending upon whether the numbers represent good or bad.

When reading an article it is sometimes tempting to skip over the Bible verses that are shared, especially if one recognizes the Scripture reference. May each of us take a moment and carefully read these next two verses, remembering that God is the One talking!

Ezekiel 3:18-19: “When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.”

Warning the wicked equals active evangelism. Notice that the warning was a spoken warning. Yes, Ezekiel was supposed to live a holy life. That goes without saying and is the basis for one being able to speak credibly with the lost. He wasn’t to silently live his life and wait for the wicked to ask him questions about his lifestyle! Ezekiel was to open his mouth and proactively warn the lost.

How does God measure my success or failure in evangelism? I believe it is by whether or not I open my mouth and share with others. Success equals sharing, while failure equals keeping quiet. As God told Ezekiel: the listener is responsible, before God, for his decision. I am responsible for warning him.

Christopher

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As we wind up this series on the importance of sharing our faith with others, I want to encourage you to make sharing Christ with the lost a priority in your personal life and in the discipleship of your children. Do you have beautiful feet? Do your children have beautiful feet?

“How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!” (Isaiah 52:7)

“And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!” (Romans 10:15)

As a side note, we have been very blessed by The Soul Winner’s New Testament. They are a perfect size to put in your pocket and carry with you at all times. We normally carry one with us and often give it away while witnessing. The New Testaments are listed on our site.

A Mom’s Potential: What Will I Do With My Mind? – Part 3

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I have shared with you how I receive e-mails from both discouraged and encouraged moms. Knowing what it is like to be a discouraged mom, I wanted to give you some ideas about how to become the encouraged mom. Not only in my own life have I evaluated the differences between feeling discouraged and feeling encouraged, but I have been considering what I read in those e-mails as well.

The encouraged moms are yielding their minds to obedience to Jesus Christ. That is what I wrote about in August and September. They are also yielding their time to righteousness.

Here is an example of how it works. This mom writes me and says:

“How many times do I have moms tell me that they CAN’T do what I do, usually because they are a ‘different personality’ . . . as if it is my ‘personality’ that is my strength. It is wearying, and often I don’t even want to share anymore the real answer to ‘how do you do it,’ or respond to the ‘I could never do it.’

I am just finishing up a very long week of making up the first six weeks of lesson plans for six children . . . from a brand-new kindergartener up to two in high school. I have not wanted to spend my whole week this way, but it was my choice, by the choices I made in the weeks leading up to this week, and God has still sprinkled in time to go pick beans and cucumbers in the garden in the cool of the evening, to visit with friends and their children, and tonight a church dinner at our home.

I have experienced too many times where God has enabled me to do what He has asked me to do . . . usually through being faithful to my schedule, and ‘doing the next thing,’ while still listening to His voice and being sensitive to changes that are brought my way through His plan. He enables me by His grace to do what He has called me to do, even to finishing up that last lesson plan.

I have been encouraged and taught to choose to do the right thing, even when other things might be calling me, and I might be tempted to label them something ‘spiritual’ to give myself permission to neglect what I am really supposed to do. It is tempting nearly every day, but God always blesses obedience.” A mom choosing obedience

Every day we have a choice set before us concerning what we will do with our time. We can do what we need to do, or we can use that time in other ways. I want to encourage you in the blessing of fulfilling your responsibilities. Sometimes we feel so overwhelmed by what needs to be done or discouraged by our children’s behavior that we retreat to the computer, a book or magazine, the TV, a hobby, or whatever it is that we use for comfort and escape rather than running to our Lord Jesus Christ. Galatians 6:9 says, “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” These same words are repeated in 2 Thessalonians 3:13. We make that decision of what we will do with our minds—feel sorry for ourselves or think right thoughts and turn to Jesus. Rather than dwelling on the negative, we can to choose to be grateful for the Lord Jesus and His work in our lives and for our husbands, our children, our homes, our daily bread, our comforts, our churches, and so much more. We can choose to get busy and do what needs to be done.

Look at what happens when we use our time to fulfill our responsibilities. This is part of the first e-mail I received from a young mother.

“I am a very undisciplined person. I’m lost when it comes to keeping my toddler occupied. I find myself doing the very thing I hated as a child. I use the TV.” Mom to one two-year-old

Here is a portion of an e-mail from this same mom after she had made some changes in how she was using her time.

“My life has changed significantly since I’ve created and implemented a MOTH Schedule.

My daughter no longer watches an excessive amount of TV. We are having preschool everyday. She has learned to clean up her toys, put socks away when I fold laundry, and set the table for our evening meal. We spend an hour outside every day. I read to her every day. She has ‘play alone’ time, computer time, and she even helps with some of my chores. She loves to dust!! We also have a devotional time everyday. My daughter (25 1/2 months) knows the schedule and anticipates the next activity.” Mom to one two-year-old

All this mother did was begin to make different choices in how she was using her time. At first an undisciplined mom who was using the TV as a babysitter, she decided to put together a schedule to help her do what she wanted to do. As she began implementing that schedule, fulfilling the responsibilities that God had given to her, she was blessed with amazing results. Not only is this young mother experiencing the joy associated with yielding her time to righteousness, but her daughter is as well.

This summer on our blog, I shared a work project that I was doing with my girls. This motivated another mom to evaluate what needed to be done in her home and how to include her daughter, who is only four years old. Look at the results!

“After reading this post yesterday, I realized that there are a few deep cleaning chores I needed to do. Today I cleaned my living room furniture, polished my living room tables, deep cleaned my refrigerator, coffee pot, and a few other things in the kitchen—all with my four-year-old daughter by my side. She enjoyed helping me very much. She kept asking what she could do next. We had a great time.” Another mom

Can you relate to the excitement this mother is experiencing as she chooses what to do with her time? Rather than being discouraged and dejected, she is energized, happy, and satisfied. She has done some important cleaning, spent time with her daughter, and helped her daughter learn to rightly choose how to use her time. Isn’t that what we want for our lives in our roles as mothers?

Discouraged or encouraged? The answer is pretty simple: what will I do with my mind and my time? However, the carrying out of that answer can be quite difficult. It starts with a yielding of our minds to obedience and then a yielding of our time to obedience. While we may think that yielding our time will keep us from doing what we want to do, in reality it frees us to be the Christian women we want to be. May we be women who yield to righteousness with our minds and with our time.

Do Your Children Have Beautiful Feet? – Part 4

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I had intended to finish the series of articles on evangelism last month. However, while we were on our trip, Christopher and I were discussing those to whom we had witnessed. I appreciated what he shared with me and asked him to write a Corner about evangelism. The following article is what the Lord put on his heart.

It is a joy when our children embrace the Lord Jesus and want to tell others about Him. When a man has something with which he truly is thrilled, he wants others to know. It is a wonderful confirmation that the Lord Jesus is at work in our children’s lives when they will actively witness about Jesus, the only true Savior of a man’s soul.

Steve

Approaching Flames

A few weeks ago, we drove on the interstate through New York City, a massive urban center with miles and miles of apartments. If you had watched me staring out the window, you could have easily guessed I was from Kansas as I watched the towering expanse of concrete, brick, and humanity pass by. We even pulled out the camera and took some photos of the city through the van window. At one point, we saw smoke drifting across the interstate ahead of us. We assumed it was a factory smokestack, but we were wrong—an apartment building was on fire. Flames were shooting almost fifteen feet high out of a fourth-story window. A fire truck had just arrived in the street below and was beginning to raise its massive ladder. I snapped a few quick photos as we passed, and we prayed for those whose lives were being impacted by the fire.

fire-overviewIt wasn’t until later, as I reviewed the photos in detail, that the significance of what we had seen really hit me. The magnified images revealed two details. The first was amazing, but the second was heart-wrenchingly incredible. As I stared at those photos, the parallels between the fire and evangelism were almost impossible to overlook.

The first detail we noticed as we zoomed in: two firefighters heading up toward the flames on the metal fire-escape stairs. These men had lost no time upon arriving at the building and were demonstrating a willingness to risk their lives as they climbed closer to the fire. Their goal was not to put out the fire, for they carried no water hoses with them. Instead, the oxygen tanks they wore showed they were intending to save lives, even if it meant entering flame-filled rooms.

Those firefighters had a duty and a job to perform, and they were doing it no matter what it cost them (although I suspect they were also motivated by a heartfelt compassion for those facing danger). What would have happened if none of the firefighters had responded to the call? What if they had responded to the call but then sat in their comfortable fire truck and simply watched the building burn? If either one of those situations had occurred, wouldn’t there would be many people, perhaps including you and me, who would have condemned them for their actions (or lack of actions)?

For us, as Christians, not to speak up and seek opportunities to share the gospel with the lost would be a similar, unconscionable, shirking of (God-given) responsibility. “Go ye therefore and teach all nations . . .” (Matthew 28:19). We have a duty toward those headed for a horrendous future: “Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched” (Mark 9:44). “And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh” (Jude 1:23).

Jesus never said that sharing the gospel with others would always be easy and comfortable. I believe Peter is a perfect example of that. He wasn’t willing to stand up and identify with Jesus when he was asked, three times, if he were a disciple. Granted, Peter was in the midst of a difficult situation, but he was nonetheless given an opportunity to speak out and share, and he didn’t. But isn’t Jesus merciful? Peter confessed his failure and repented. Grace was given. And from that point on, we no longer see a fearful man, but one who was willing to speak out, no matter what the cost.

Whether a firefighter or a soul-winner, is the man who experiences fear called a coward? No! It is the one who gives into his feelings of fear and fails to do what he should. Even brave men will at times feel fear, but they choose to do what is right despite their fear!

Some don’t want to be spiritual firefighters – despite what the Lord has called us to do. For those who don’t want to be a firefighter, I ask you to consider what we saw as we zoomed even closer into the photo of the fire!

On the fifth floor, only a few feet over from the flames that were roaring out of the fourth-floor window below, was a woman with a child in her arms, standing on a small fire-escape platform perhaps fifty feet in the air. She was well aware of the danger her life was in if she stayed in the building. She could have chosen the way of escape for herself alone, and it would have been much easier for her to do so, because then both of her hands would have been free. However, she was taking the time and effort to see that the infant child was also safe.

Have we repented of our sin and believed in the Lord Jesus Christ? Has He saved us from the flames of hell? If so, how could we be so selfish as to escape the flames ourselves (by His grace) and yet leave others to such a terrible fate?

“And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11).

Will you one day stand alone before the Lord Jesus Christ with no one else standing beside you whom you helped rescue by pointing them to Jesus? Might the work we are so busy filling our days with burn up on the judgment day? “If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire” (1 Corinthians 3:15).

Whether you see yourself as a firefighter or simply someone who has been rescued from the fires of hell, won’t you reach out and help rescue others? Don’t be paralyzed by fear! Let us each be bold as we gently help those who are lost and dying!

Written by our son Christopher

A Mom’s Potential: What Will I Do With My Mind? – Part 2

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Last month we began a series on a mother’s potential for influencing her family. I shared with you how I receive e-mails from moms who are discouraged and also from those who are encouraged in their daily lives and walks with the Lord Jesus. My heart is to help those who are struggling and to give them hope for change. Because much of this revolves around the battle for what we will do with our minds, I am going to spend another Mom’s Corner addressing this issue.

For many years when I was depressed, discouraged, or unhappy, I thought that I was a helpless victim of my feelings. I would pray and ask God to free me from my negative thoughts, but the pattern continued until the Lord Jesus, in His mercy and grace, began to show me truths from His Word that applied to my problem. Prayer was very important in my quest for conquering the negativism. That was to continue and be ever increasing. “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). However, I also was instructed in Scripture as to what I needed to do to gain victory over my unhappiness, and that was to obey the Lord—a choice I was to make.

Let me share with you the verses the Lord showed me that helped me understand this. “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). The Holy Spirit residing in me gives me the “will” to do what is right. I wouldn’t even care about doing what I should do without the Spirit putting that desire in my heart. Beyond the “will,” the desire to do what God wants me to do, He also enables the actual doing of it; He works in me to do His good pleasure—to accomplish it.

Notice, though, that there is one piece that fits between the “willing” and the “doing” and that would be the “yielding” or choosing to be obedient. I won’t quote again all three verses from Romans 6 that mention yielding because you can read those in the August Mom’s Corner. I will use only one of them to refresh our memories. “Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?” (Romans 6:16). Here is the amazing truth that the Lord Jesus showed me in the midst of my continual yielding to the negative thoughts. As long as I yield myself to obey sin—for me it was the wrong thoughts—God didn’t help me to do what is righteous. He allowed me to keep walking in my sin and negative thoughts. He kept putting that will within my heart for what was right, but His enabling to “do” had to wait for me to yield to obedience.

In practical examples from my life, this is how it looked. When the children were fussing with each other, when the house was a mess, and when I was tired, if I began to focus on myself and how discouraged I felt, then I was yielding to sin. At that point, God didn’t fill my heart with happiness, joy, and peace. While I don’t like to feel unhappy and defeated, the reality was that I was content with it because I continued to choose it. I was walking in disobedience while maintaining the expectation that God would somehow remove the negative thoughts from my mind and replace them with love, contentment, and patience.

Remember the Israelites of old? God could have made them a perfect nation with perfect people. Instead, He made them His people, gave them the ability to choose obedience or sin, and asked obedience from them. Despite all that He did for them and despite all that He gave to them as direction, they still often chose disobedience. He didn’t “zap” them into obedience just as He doesn’t “zap” me into obedience. He waited for the Israelites to obey, and He waits for me to obey.

If this yielding to obedience weren’t a part of my walk with the Lord Jesus, He would never need to tell me in His Word anything righteous to do. I would already be doing it. However, His Word is filled with “do this” and “don’t do that.” He is placing within my heart the “will” to do what is right. I must choose to yield. I must decide to be obedient.

For example, consider these verses: “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing” (James 1:2-4). “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us” (Romans 5:3-5).

Do I naturally feel joyful or like glorying in a trial or tribulation? Most certainly, I don’t. In these verses I am told that this is an obedient yielding I am to make, and I am even told the outcome—the reason I would make this choice. If I automatically reacted to these difficulties with joy and glory, then there would be no reason for Scripture to tell me to do so. To yield to righteousness, I take those negative, “poor me” thoughts captive and bring them into the obedience of Christ. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

For me the starting place for this yielding to righteousness and taking my thoughts captive begins with gratitude to the Lord Jesus Christ. “Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened” (Romans 1:21). “He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God” (Romans 4:20). “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Will I focus my thoughts on gratitude to God for what He has done for me and given to me, or will I allow my mind to dwell on what I don’t like or am unhappy about? That choice of what I yield to is left up to me.

If I yield to obedience, then comes the enabling to do it. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

I have walked both paths—the path of yielding to obedience and the path of yielding to sin—particularly in what I do with my mind. I can still face those decisions, even on a daily basis. I can tell you from my experience that though the path of obedience can be very, very difficult when the feelings are negative, the obedience leads to freedom from unhappy, sad, and “poor me” thoughts. Yielding to the sin of continuing in those wrong thoughts simply spirals us further into them and away from the joy and peace we desire.

May I encourage each of us to move from allowing our negative feelings to drive our thoughts. This yielding to righteousness will be a continual process. When we yield our minds to righteousness, the fruit of the Spirit is manifested in our lives not only for us to enjoy, but for our families as well. Our children are watching us. They are learning from our reactions and responses to the daily pressures we face. What will they glean from us? Can we say with Paul, “Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you” (Philippians 4:9)?