Category Archives: Mom’s Corner

Children’s and Family Bible Time

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Sometimes in the course of parenting, we are given sound advice in the raising of children. Other times, the counsel offered is not the path to take. Sadly, it may only be the course of time that leads one to discover whether there was value in the words that were spoken. Steve and I found ourselves in this kind of difficulty, when it came to reading the Bible with the children, as we raised our first three who are now adults. We listened to the wrong encouragement. We were given another opportunity with our five younger children, having the benefit of spiritual growth in us as parents. We also had more experience in learning to listen to the Lord instead of listening to others.

When our older children were young, we were told that preschoolers couldn’t understand the Bible. It was simply too difficult for them. The words were too hard. The concepts were above their heads. The Bible wouldn’t hold their attention. Spiritual training, according to these voices, was not to be neglected, though. We were encouraged to make the Bible real to our young children by reading them books with stories that were easy to understand, exciting, fun, and enticing for young eyes and minds with oodles of colorful illustrations. Most said that our preschoolers needed easy-to-understand materials like picture Bibles or books that had one verse and then a story connected with the verse. There were plenty of these books available, so that’s what we started using for our Bible time with our children.

Although our Kindergarten-age oldest son was praised by a teacher for his Bible knowledge, gleaned from a picture Bible, we never felt like we were quite hitting the mark in our children’s spiritual nurturing when we used these types of materials. The children enjoyed them, no doubt. We spent beneficial time together with our children as we read from these books. Where was the spiritual meat, though? Could it really be that pictures illustrating God’s truth or paraphrased stories were able to convey the same truth and wisdom found in the Word? Did these children’s materials have the power of the Bible in them?

As our children became older, the Lord was pulling our hearts away from the fluff of other books for family Bible time. It took a few intermediate steps from picture Bibles, but eventually we moved to using the Bible for Bible time. What a novel idea! Of course, by now our older children were well into their elementary grades and could be expected, even by those who liked to give suggestions, to start understanding some of what was read from the Bible.

In our large family, using Bibles for family time meant that our youngest children—who were then babies, toddlers, and preschoolers—were involved in Bible time using real Bibles. We were amazed. We were shocked. We were dumbfounded. Our preschoolers most certainly weren’t fitting the model set out earlier for us. They liked Bible time with the family and with Bibles. Our little children could understand much of what we were reading. They would ask questions about what they didn’t understand. They did great. When Mary was four years old—long before she could read—she would still participate in our family’s tradition at the end of our Bible reading. After reading the chapter for that night, each family member picks out a verse that applies to his life in some way and shares it with the rest of the family.

Mary would listen as the chapter was read and understand it well enough to know which verse she wanted to pick. She even had a system to be able to tell us her verse number. She would identify the family member who read the verse she was choosing. She would then count around the room, since we each read two verses until the chapter ended—sometimes her verse was read on the second round—to determine the verse number. Then she would tell us the verse number and articulate the personal application from what had been read in that verse. That is pretty amazing for a very normal four-year-old if preschoolers can’t understand the Bible!

Scripture gives us a good basis for reading the Bible with our children and teaching them from it. “And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works” (2 Timothy 3:15-17). I don’t know exactly how Timothy was taught. However, when this verse says that he has “known the holy scriptures” from a child, I don’t think he was learning from any popular Jewish children’s picture books of the time. I believe he was being taught directly from Scripture. Look at these verses and the power we see in God’s Word—even for a child. Strong’s Concordance indicates that the word “child” is actually a baby or young child. Timothy’s instruction from the Bible began when he was very young.

In this process of what to use for Bible time with young children, consider the appetites that are developed. When we give our children Bible story books and picture Bibles rather than real Bibles for family Bible reading, are we developing a love in their hearts for God’s Word? Are we teaching them that God’s Word is the very sustenance of their lives? Are we giving them a comfort level that they can and should learn and understand the Word? Are children’s picture Bibles “profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness”? Are they “. . . quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and . . . is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12)?

We experienced firsthand the consequences of using picture Bibles, story books, and cute devotionals for Bible time. We had created an appetite in our three older children for those kinds of materials. They much preferred something with a story and a picture in it to the Word itself. They weren’t excited when Steve said we were going to begin reading the Bible. They wanted a story from one of their other books or children’s devotionals. It was a process to help them develop a love for the Word and to let go of wanting it to be entertaining.

Our younger children haven’t had this problem with bad appetites being developed in them regarding Bible reading. Instead they have had positive appetites instilled in them. They have grown up with real Bibles and have been a part of the family reading the Bible together. They have been able to understand the Word without needing pictures and stories. Some have participated in family Bible time since the day they were born, once we had instituted reading the Bible with the children. God’s inspired Word has filled their minds and consequently taught their hearts from infancy. They truly love God’s Word.

I would encourage you to consider these thoughts as you plan what to use in your family Bible time and preschool Bible time. We pray that our experience, both negative and positive, would give you information to help you see the value of using Bibles even with young children. May we be moms who love the Word so much that nothing can be substituted for it in the lives of our children.

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The Influence of a Mother’s Example

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Last night as I pulled back the sheets to get into bed, I heard a flutter of paper. I found a handwritten note nestled between the sheet and the pillow. It read, “Dear Mom, You are doing a good job with healthy eating. You are a good mommy. I love you very much.” There was a note on Daddy’s pillow too. I have received several encouragement notes from my children lately.

You may remember the Corner where I shared the Lord’s conviction in my heart concerning writing words of blessing and encouragement to my children. I have only been doing that regularly for a few months now, but I believe it has been motivating the children to begin writing their own encouragement notes. There were many reasons I saw for writing my children notes of blessing. I was surprised, though, by this unexpected benefit of the children beginning, on their own, to write encouragement notes to other family members.

As I have been pondering this surprise outcome of my note writing, I have become once again aware of the importance of a mother’s example to her children. I am reminded that Paul wanted to use his example positively in the lives of those whom he was teaching. “Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you” (Philippians 4:9). Paul also showed the power of example when he was admonishing Timothy, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). I believe we want to use the influence of our example in our children’s lives in these positive ways as well.

Sometimes our example to our children is a negative one, which can be very discouraging to us. Scripture gives us direction for how to handle those areas of our lives that would be bad examples to our children. A quick overview would include several Scriptures. 1 John 1:9 tells us, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” We are also to battle our sin and not yield ourselves to it. “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1). “Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God” (Romans 6:13).

We are not told in Scripture to dwell on our sin or make it a focus, as we might be prone to do. We are not to feel sorry for ourselves over our sin. I have recently discovered something much better than feeling self-pity—which comes easily for me—for my sin. I can rejoice that the Holy Spirit convicts me of sin rather than just letting me tolerate it. We repent, confess sin, pray for grace to overcome it, and yield ourselves to God.

Our minds are to be on our Lord Jesus Christ. That is where the affirmative example begins. “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:1-2). Simply by following this one direction, we will be a good example for our children. The intent of our hearts’ desire for our example might be defined by this verse: “That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God” (Colossians 1:10).

We can ask ourselves questions that would help us determine the example we want to set for our children. Do we want them to read the Word and learn from it? “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (Psalms 119:105). Then we would evaluate our lives to see if we are setting that example for them. Do we believe prayer is vital in our walk with Jesus Christ? “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). A part of how a prayer life is developed in our children’s lives is by our example. Do we want our children to “Rejoice in the Lord always . . .” (Philippians 4:4)? If so, then we can’t be complainers and grumblers. That would be the negative example being observed.

Several years ago, Steve and I realized that we wanted more often and more verbally to be expressing our love for our children. As part of keeping our children’s hearts (see our book, Keeping Our Children’s Hearts), we knew the value of them always being keenly aware of our love for them. We began making an effort to tell each of them how much we loved him or her. We told them that several times throughout the day. Do you know what one result of that was that we hadn’t expected? The children began saying they loved us more and also expressing their love for each other verbally. We didn’t admonish them to do this. We didn’t give it to them as an assignment. We set an example.

Where are our hearts? What kind of example are we setting? The Lord Jesus has given us as mothers a wonderful assignment in raising our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Our example can help or hinder in that assignment. We have many opportunities each day to be examples to our children. May we be like Paul and choose to be the kind of example that will spiritually lead our children to Jesus Christ and to obedience to Him. “But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience” (2 Timothy 3:10). Could we say the same?

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Praying Scripture for Our Children

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Praying for our children is a high spiritual priority in the life of Christian mothers. We know that the work of spiritual growth in our children’s lives is accomplished by the power of the Lord Jesus. “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). As an example for us in praying for our children, we have many Scriptures that tell us that Paul prayed for his spiritual children without ceasing and with thanksgiving. If we are to invest heavily in prayer for our children, what exactly will we pray?

“For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). I believe these verses show us that Scripture is an excellent basis for some of our prayers for our children.

My two favorite Scriptures for prayer are ones Paul prayed. “For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen” (Ephesians 3:14-21).

“For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son” (Colossians 1:9-13).

Do we want our children to choose righteousness over sin? Then praying from Romans 6 would be worthwhile. “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God” (Romans 6:12-13).

Is your child struggling with worry? You can pray Philippians 4:6-7 for him. “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Does your child lack a thankful heart? Consider praying that your child would begin, “Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:20).

Do you realize how Scripture can be used to pray for our children? No matter what need you see in your child’s life, you can find a Scripture to pray that will relate to that need. If you desire growth in your child in a certain spiritual direction, you can look for Scripture to pray that will support and endorse this growth.

I have begun to memorize the verses that I am praying for my children so that I have them available any time I want them. I can pick out portions of the verses to pray, and I can individualize them by putting my child’s name into the words from Scripture as I pray. I have found that everything I memorize to pray for my children is applicable to praying for myself and others as well.

There are some things that I pray for my children day after day, prayer after prayer. Should I stop praying them because I have prayed them so many times? “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9). My repetitive prayers for my children fall into this category of what I am not to become weary in doing because, in time, there will be a harvest of spiritual fruit.

“And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:1-8). This parable gives the example that we are to continue crying out to our Lord Jesus Christ in prayer for our children, even if we pray the same or similar things for them very often.

When I pray Scripture for my children, I feel assured in my heart that I am praying God’s will and desire for them. “And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it” (John 14:13-14). “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him” (1 John 5:14-15).

As you commit your heart to pray for your children, I encourage you to use Scripture as part of those prayers. Memorize the passages that the Lord directs you to pray for your children so that you will have them available anywhere and anytime to pray. Then be faithful in spending much time in prayer for your children.

Praying for Our Children

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As Steve and I continue down this parenting path the Lord started us on twenty-eight years ago, we become more and more convinced of the necessity of prayer for our children. Reading through the New Testament recently, I was reminded of the example Paul has set for us in his prayer life. I believe we can learn much from Paul that will apply to us as moms praying for our children.

Paul prayed constantly for the churches and individuals to whom he wrote. Please bear with me in reading through all of the following verses, because I believe they powerfully show us the heart and passion of a man committed to his spiritual children as we want to be committed to our natural children.

“First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all, that your faith is spoken of throughout the whole world. For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers” (Romans 1:8-9).

“Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers” (Ephesians 1:16).

“We give thanks to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you” (Colossians 1:3).

“We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers” (1 Thessalonians 1:2).

“Wherefore also we pray always for you, that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfil all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power: That the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and ye in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Thessalonians 1:11-12).

“I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day” (2 Timothy 1:3).

“I thank my God, making mention of thee always in my prayers” (Philemon 1:4).

“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy, For your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now; Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:3-6).

Paul knows that his example is a positive one: “Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you” (Philippians 4:9). Yet, look where his dependence remains in his heart’s desire for his spiritual children to grow in holiness and godliness. He is continually lifting his churches and converts to Jesus in prayer. He isn’t relying on his own wisdom, strength, or example. He knows his total dependence on the Lord and the dependence his “children” will need as well. It would seem to me that of all teachers, Paul would have had the least need of anyone to spend that amount of time and energy in prayer. However, he was completely aware of his weakness and the weakness of those he loved. He was continually crying out to the Lord for those “children.” Isn’t that true in our lives and our children’s lives as well—aren’t we all weak and needy?

Strong’s Concordance tells us that “without ceasing” means exactly that: “without intermission, incessantly, without ceasing.” “Always” means “at all times, always, ever.” To me these verses and words indicate a mind preoccupied with prayer. Are we praying for our children when we wake up in the morning, when we are working, when we are with them, when we are doing school, when we are in the car, when we go to bed at night, when they are struggling, when they are disobedient, when they are unkind, when they are peaceful, when they are helpful—without ceasing?

My tendency is to make excuses for my lack of prayerfulness. I am too busy. I can’t do school and pray for the children at the same time. I have a one-track mind. Am I busier than Paul was? I don’t think so. Wasn’t he always preaching, ministering, and serving in addition to working as a tentmaker? Paul was a busy man. My excuses are nothing but excuses. We do what is truly important to us.

As I have evaluated in my life how to make continually praying for my children a reality, three things have stood out to me. First, I must make this a prayer of my heart, acknowledging my need for help in this area and asking God to strengthen me for the task and to bring my children constantly to mind for prayer. I want Him to put on my heart what I should pray for my children as well. Second, I want to feel the urgency of the necessity of never-ceasing prayer for my children. Have you ever had a dear friend or loved one diagnosed with cancer? What happens to your prayer life in regard to that person? In the same way, as I truly see the importance of prayer for my children, it comes more naturally to my heart. Third, I should develop the discipline of prayer. I have discovered that my mind easily gravitates to simply thinking rather than to prayer. I have to make a conscious effort and decision to bring my thoughts around to prayer when I realize I am just thinking rather than praying.

After praying always for my children, the next challenge Paul gives me is to fill my prayers with thanksgiving, just as his prayers are filled with thankfulness for his spiritual children. Look back at the verses we read. How many of them have the word “thank” in them? Here are a few more.

“I thank my God always on your behalf, for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 1:4).

“We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren . . .” (2 Thessalonians 1:3).

Think about what gratitude to the Lord for our children does as we pray for them. Thankfulness springs from a joyful heart. If we are continually thanking God for our children, it is hard to feel unhappy or angry with them. It prompts us to see our children in a positive light. It gives us hope for the areas of their failure and places their needs before the Lord. Spiritually, gratitude puts our thoughts where they ought to be—on the Lord rather than on anything negative about our children or ourselves. Being thankful for our children allows us to be in a place of rest and contentment concerning them rather than dissatisfaction.

Perhaps as we are challenged by Paul’s example of praying without ceasing for our children, our praying for them will be the most important step we can take in the turning of our hearts toward those children. It will be a true focus on them, and the best investment we can make in their lives. It may also be the most significant gift of love and sacrifice we could give to them. Will we be mothers who choose to pray without ceasing for our children? Will our prayers be filled with thankfulness for each of them?

The Importance of Daily Time with Jesus

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It was a normal Friday morning of cleaning and piano practice for the Maxwell family. Just before lunch, I sat down to do some computer work. Sarah called everyone to eat, and I jumped up with gusto. Between me and my meal lay the vacuum cleaner which I abruptly crashed into with my bare foot. Immediately I experienced that excruciating pain one has when they clobber a toe into an immobile object. In this case, though, the pain didn’t subside as quickly as normal because my little toe was indeed broken.

This mishap curtailed my ability to walk with Steve in the early mornings after our personal Bible time—a custom we have enjoyed for many years. I sorely missed the exercise my walk afforded me and the talks Steve and I have while walking. However, I gained a wonderful benefit from those extra minutes of being home each morning. I worked at making myself get up with Steve at our normal time, although the temptation was to stay in bed and sleep a bit more. By maintaining my usual schedule, I was able to spend what had been walking time for more Bible reading and prayer. Spending over an hour with the Lord each morning is something I only dream of because generally a half hour a day for my quiet time of Bible reading and prayer has been realistic and workable in my life. That extra time with the Lord each morning for six weeks was just what I needed.

It is not uncommon for a mom to come up to me after a workshop and want to discuss specific difficulties that she is dealing with in her life. After I listen to her problems, I try to make my first question: “Are you having daily, personal time to read your Bible and pray, knowing that is the key and most important starting point?” More often than not the answer will be that she isn’t spending time with the Lord and that she realizes this is what needs to change before anything else will.

I hear over and over again from moms that they struggle with getting up in the morning to spend time with the Lord. Usually there is a reason why she can’t awaken early enough to have Bible reading and prayer. It may be not going to bed at a reasonable hour the night before, a sick child up in the night, a nursing baby, or simply the enjoyment of staying in bed. While it is true that most of these reasons cost us sleep, we also have to make decisions about our use of time based upon our priorities. If we had an important doctor appointment after a late night, we would make ourselves get up so we wouldn’t miss the appointment.

Before Steve and I became serious about our daily, personal Bible reading and prayer time, we had to come to the point of seeing our need for and the value of this time. We would say we wanted to rise early enough to spend time with the Lord, but we were quick to let our many excuses for not getting up give us the freedom to stay in bed.

When I was in the years of pregnancy and nursing babies, I had scheduled a nap in the afternoon. This gave me the security of knowing that if I was really tired from getting up early in the morning, I had time set aside later to take a nap. With a newborn, I would sometimes change my Bible reading and prayer time to early afternoon, although it was not my preference nor did I want to leave it this way for long. Still, I could sleep in the morning and also rest knowing I would have time with the Lord, because it was scheduled for right after the children laid down for their afternoon naps. I believe it is best to have time with the Lord first thing in the morning, but when that isn’t happening, another time that works is better than not having the time at all.

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Isn’t this our heart’s desire: that God would thoroughly equip us for every task He has called us to do? This verse tells us that God’s Word is the key to this equipping. It will teach and correct us. Yet, it is easy to say the right thing—that we want God’s grace to direct and help us through our days—but fail to do what we need to do to make it possible for Him.

Psalms 119 is a beautiful chapter showing us the value of Scripture to our daily lives. I challenge you to read through it several times. Let’s look at some of these verses to see how God’s Word meets the needs we are experiencing.

Do we struggle with sin? “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee” (Psalms 119:11).

Do we need counsel on a difficult area of our lives? “Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counselors” (Psalms 119:24).

Am I afflicted in some way? “This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me” (Psalms 119:50).

Do I want to be wise and make good decisions? “Teach me good judgment and knowledge: for I have believed thy commandments” (Psalms 119:66). “Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies: for they are ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts” (Psalms 119:98-100).

Do I need comforting? “Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant. Let thy tender mercies come unto me, that I may live: for thy law is my delight” (Psalms 119:76-77).

Do I need to know how to make it through a trial? “Unless thy law had been my delights, I should then have perished in mine affliction” (Psalms 119:92).

Do I need direction? “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (Psalms 119:105).

Do I need rest and protection? “Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word. Depart from me, ye evildoers: for I will keep the commandments of my God” (Psalms 119:114-115).

I know what it is to be busy, homeschool, have a large family, be pregnant, be nursing a baby, have sick children, and have more to do than there seems available time. Yet I am convinced that there is nothing I could have done with that time I spent each day with the Lord Jesus in Bible reading and prayer that would have been any more beneficial to my life, my husband’s life, my children’s lives, or my homeschooling. I have a dear friend who has gotten up for years in the middle of the night to read her Bible and pray. It is the most consistent, uninterrupted time of day for her. Then she goes back to bed and to sleep. If Bible reading and prayer is truly important to us, we will find time for it and then be disciplined to keep it.

I am convinced that it is the heart cry of homeschooling moms to live in such a way that will honor and glorify the Lord Jesus Christ. Plus, we want to guide our children in the paths of righteousness as well. May I challenge each of us that the starting place for this—the place to begin dealing with depression, anger, laziness, impatience, fear, anxiety (I share more about these issues in Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit), and every other need we have—is daily spending time with the Lord. It is likely that the busier we are—and the more we struggle with taking time to read our Bibles and pray—the needier we are for this time. May we each determine, with God’s help, that we will be committed to making Bible reading and prayer as high a priority as eating our meals.

School Year Preparations

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For many homeschooling moms, the beginning of a new school year is just ahead! In this Mom’s Corner, I would like to share with you three suggestions for making the coming school year the success that you want it to be.

As I approached the first day of school last year, I was dreading it! I wasn’t ready for the changes full-time school would bring. I knew that if my spirit wasn’t right, my children’s wouldn’t be either. I cried out to the Lord concerning the state of my heart, and He answered me.

The Lord encouraged me to set aside the Saturday night before our first day of school as a time to dedicate the school year to Him. I worked on Friday and Saturday to complete all the practical, weekend tasks I had to do so that my Saturday evening would be free. I shared with my family what I was planning and received my husband’s blessing. As I waited for my evening with the Lord, I jotted down areas that I wanted to pray about.

After dinner that evening, I gathered up school books, schedules, assignments—anything that had to do with our school. I carried them into my bedroom and stacked them in piles. I pulled out my prayer notes and started praying for our school, for Steve, and for myself.

Then, child by child, I placed their school materials in front of me. I thumbed through them and made notes as to what I thought might be difficult areas for the child. I noted that on my prayer list. Then I prayed for each child and their school year. If the Lord brought ideas to mind during the prayer time, I paused, made a note, and then continued on.

I had such a sweet, sweet time with the Lord that it completely transformed my heart toward beginning school again. I would counsel any homeschooling mom, whether she is excited about her school year or dreading it, to set aside a special time to pray about and dedicate her school to the Lord. This might even be something a husband and wife could do together in addition to Mom praying alone.

Psalms 37:5 says, “Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” I certainly saw the fruit of this as I purposed, in a different way than I ever had in the past, to commit my school year to Him. I am planning to do this every year!

The second area I would like to encourage you in is chore assignments. This would include making a list of each child’s chores, scheduling a time for them to accomplish the chores, setting aside time for you to check their chores, and agreeing upon consequences when the chores aren’t done properly. I have found that one of the most draining aspects of homeschooling is not the schooling itself, but getting children to fulfill their household responsibilities before and after school. For more information about chores, see our book, Managers of Their Chores: A Practical Guide to Children's Chores.

What do you do if the child assigned to wash breakfast dishes doesn’t do them or takes five times longer than he should? You need to have thought through the possibilities and have consequences in place so that you aren’t frustrated when this occurs. We can handle failure in our children calmly when the consequences have been planned out for future use.

When assigning chores and consequences, try to keep personalities in mind. Don’t give your dawdler a mission-critical chore that must be accomplished before school can start. If he is the only choice for the job, try giving him a “first school activity” that can easily be made up in his free time later in the day, since some days he might have to spend that slot of school time doing his chore.

The last area I would like address has to do with curriculum. Having prayed about what to use for school this year, be wary of any dissatisfaction you might experience toward your curriculum. The Lord may have a different purpose for those materials that don’t seem to be working out as you expected.

When something isn’t going well, we are very quick to desire a curriculum change. I know, because I have “been there” many times during the past sixteen years of homeschooling! Perhaps your six-year-old’s phonics program isn’t working out the way you envisioned. It may be that you should lead your child through at a much, much slower pace while he matures and gradually grasps the material. Could it be your child needs to learn, even at six, to push himself beyond his comfort zone? Maybe you are to learn an extra measure of patience. We can rob our children, and ourselves, of these valuable lessons by “jumping” curriculum too quickly.

I pray that as we enter a new homeschooling year we will seek the Lord on our knees before we ever start the first day of school. May we look for His solutions in helping our children learn responsibility. May we also rest in His purposes for the curriculum choices He has led us to make.

If you would like to view our current school schedule, you can do so.

Homeschool Families Benefit from Summer Chores

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Did you know that homeschool families benefit from summer chores for their children? This week seven-year-old Mary, eleven-year-old Anna, and I spent fifteen minutes each day polishing kitchen cabinets. That is a task that looked daunting to me, although I am serious about trying to tackle it at least once a year. My engineer husband has convinced me that if I want my kitchen cabinets to stay nice, I need to take care of them properly. As we evaluated this need and my time, we realized that this was the perfect opportunity to include the girls in a job where they could work with Mom. Each day it seemed that our fifteen minutes was up almost as soon as we started. Our time was filled with happy chatter, typical of mommies and their little girls.

After two days, our nine-year-old son said he would like to join us in our project. At that point, I headed to the store to purchase two more bottles of furniture polish. As we polished and buffed, I asked the children if they could explain the purpose of what we were doing. They did well in knowing that the polish cleaned and protected the wood. Next I questioned them on why we wanted to take care of the cabinets. They decided it was so that they would stay in good condition and look pretty. I presented them with a third question, asking why we wouldn’t just let them get messed up and then replace them. That question was a stumper for them. In their minds, it sounded reasonable just to have Daddy buy new cabinets when they no longer looked acceptable. This headed us into a discussion of being good stewards of what Jesus has given to us. That evening in our family Bible time, stewardship came up. Jesse piped in with, “Oh, yes, Mommy talked to us about being good stewards this morning when we were working on the cabinets.”

15-Minute-Chore-Time Nets Results

A simple fifteen minutes of time with my children for several days has netted our family many positive benefits. (For further information, see Managers of Their Homes.) The girls have learned a skill they may need in their own homes one day. They are being taught in one of the areas that Titus 2:4-5 tells the older women to teach the younger women, and that is in being a keeper at home. My son experienced the pleasure found in volunteering to give of his time to help another—to take joy in serving rather than having to be served. We enjoyed fellowship and spiritual discussions. In addition, the cabinets will all be polished with just a few more days of work.

Summer, if you don’t school through it, is the perfect time to dig into household cleaning and organizing tasks that don’t fit into normal homeschooling days and weeks. Rather than dreading these jobs, we can enlist the help of the children and discover benefits similar to those our family found in our cabinet-polishing. My girls didn’t complain at all when I explained to them what we were going to do—not on the first day or on subsequent days. They now look at the cabinets with a sense of accomplishment in their eyes. I expect they will be even more careful in the future to have dry hands when they open the cabinet doors and to use the handles. They have seen firsthand how much work it takes to keep up the cabinets. They don’t want to make more work.

Consider jobs in your home that need to be done and figure out how to work with your children. Our thirteen-year-old and fifteen-year-old sons are taking over the boys’ bathroom cleaning from their twenty-five-year-old brother, who will add one more sibling to the two he is already teaching piano to this year in lieu of extra cleaning chores. The boys will trade off weeks to do the bathroom cleaning. This week I cleaned their bathroom, explaining step by step what I was doing. For several weeks, I plan to be an observer of the bathroom cleaning until I feel they are consistently doing a good, thorough job. The boys are motivated to learn to maintain their bathroom well because, if they do, Daddy may consider it for a needed remodeling.

Here are some verses that have helped Steve and me to see that teaching our children to work will be helpful to them as they grow up. “Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man” (Proverbs 6:6-11). “The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat” (Proverbs 13:4). “The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold; therefore shall he beg in harvest, and have nothing” (Proverbs 20:4).

Steve and I know how much more we enjoy a work project when we can do it together. We have some fond memories of painting rooms in houses we lived in when first married. Steve did the rolling; I did the trim. We worked until we collapsed at night and talked the whole time. The same would be true for our children. Doing a project with Dad or Mom helps the time pass quickly while experiencing the joy of fellowship.

For many homeschoolers, we have several more weeks of summer left before beginning our new school year. I encourage you to target a bit of this time for working on cleaning and organizing tasks with your children. It is also a prime opportunity to teach them how to do new chores. Working together makes the children more willing participants. May we be moms who help our children toward diligence and away from the curse of being a sluggard.

Where Is the Fruit of Child Training?

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Let me share with you a story from a mom with a burdened heart.

I LOVE my son so much. He is the oldest of 4 boys. We constantly get compliments about what a sweet boy he is or what a BIG heart he has. But, as his mother I feel like a failure. He completely lacks self-discipline, diligence, and independence.

If I sit and do school WITH him he does a GREAT job and does it fairly quickly. BUT if I send him to his room to work independently he will either 1) take all day because he just sits there and daydreams OR 2) he rushes through it and does a really sloppy job.

We have spent YEARS training this child. My husband has literally taken him into the kitchen and cleaned WITH him step by step, showing him how to do it SEVERAL times. He has done a good job when he knows a reward awaits him (not perfect, but good), but for the most part he tries to get by with as little as possible.

If I don’t sit on him and make him brush his teeth or take a shower, he won’t. If I tell him his hair needs to be combed, he will go grab a hat.

He started crying tonight when I corrected him for doing a poor job. He said he feels like there is nothing he does well. Truthfully, I can’t think of anything he does well or that I am proud of as far as skill goes. He has a GREAT heart, but well meaning intentions will get him NOWHERE! Concerned Mom

What Concerned Mom is sharing about her son is something we commonly hear from moms. Often the mom is talking about a child that is seven years old or older. Perhaps this becomes an issue at this age because we begin to have some expectations of seeing the results of our child training by this time.

Our first step, when dealing with any difficult situation, and especially those concerning our children, is to pray. “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). We pray for the Lord to work in and through the needs in our children’s lives. We also ask what God’s purposes are in the struggles. How does He want us to address them? What direction and solutions does He have? What Scripture applies?

Children take time to mature. “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11). What if Concerned Mom thinks back to her son at age five? I expect he has made some progress in these difficult areas since then, maybe even significant progress. Now, what if she remembers back to when he was nine? Again, he will have made progress—perhaps not as much as she would like, but progress.

What we want to focus on is the spiritual and character growth that is taking place in our children rather than the distance they have left to go. This perspective will help our hearts be encouraged and grateful to the Lord for what He has been doing in our children’s lives rather than discouraged over what still should be accomplished. “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Concerned Mom’s son is a “sweet boy with a big heart.” A heart for the Lord and others is one of the major goals most Christian parents have for their children. Being thankful for the spiritual qualities she sees in her son will give Concerned Mom a starting point for giving her son positive feedback.

I would encourage Concerned Mom to continue working with her son in the areas where she sees her son should improve. Scripture admonishes us that we are to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). This is a long-term project the Lord has given us. Concerned Mom hasn’t failed but rather the Lord is making her aware of continued needs in her son’s life. This isn’t to discourage her but to give her direction in where to concentrate her efforts. Her commitment to helping her son is very important. From what she has shared, Concerned Mom is on the right track in teaching her son by showing him what to do, giving him responsibility, and then having consequences if he doesn’t follow through.

I would encourage Concerned Mom to find ways to help her son learn the steps to thoroughness for what he needs to do. She can make up checklists for him since she sees that he requires step-by-step direction to accomplish a task. Giving her son a scheduled time for particular jobs with deadlines and consequences may be useful. In addition, it is important to be consistent on a daily basis for an extended period of time. It is common to give up on what we are trying to do before it has time to work.

Concerned Mom could let her son take all day to do his schoolwork, without emotional anxiety over it. He likely won’t continue to take all day, and if he does, then she doesn’t need be concerned about it. It was his choice. When he tires of spending all day doing school, he will work harder to stick with it and get it done earlier.

When Concerned Mom’s son doesn’t do something well, she can simply send him back to do it again. Remember that a mom should do all of this with a meek and quiet spirit rather than with anger or resignation. Eventually, the son will decide to do a better job in the first place. I believe a key is being unemotional in dealing with all of this. Simply be matter of fact.

Another key ingredient in this process is keeping our children’s hearts, the subject of our book, Keeping Our Children’s Hearts. In this case, I would suggest that Concerned Mom make it a priority to work with her son on some of his chores on a regular basis. She and her husband can spend time with him doing the tasks that are difficult. She can reinforce details of the job. Working together is a part of building relationships. While they work, Concerned Mom can talk to her son about his problems—not strictly when the crisis is flaring but at other times as well.

Concerned Mom will be able to encourage her son that keeping these issues before him to be worked on is a positive step. What about using his failures to help him see his dependence on Jesus Christ and need to rely on Him? “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). These parents can explain to their son that his reactions to failure and correction show pride in his life. “. . . God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” (James 4:6).

Looking at verses in Proverbs that have to do with a son receiving correction would be a good study to do with a twelve-year-old boy. “A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke” (Proverbs 13:1). Keeping the relationships strong, with lots of loving communication, hugs, back patting, and enjoyable time together, is vitally important.

At age twelve, this boy’s family still has several prime years to work with their son. I think Concerned Mom should be encouraged. What she is doing will produce results. Her priority is to stay prayerful, loving, and consistent. She wants to find things for which she can praise her son. It might not seem like there are any, but if she thinks about it and looks for them, they will be there—starting with him being sweet and having a big heart. She wants to make sure that praise comes out loud and clear.

I believe most homeschooling moms have areas in their children’s lives where they know growth is needed. May this be our theme verse as we face and tackle these necessary issues. “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9). The fruit comes from years of praying, loving, teaching, consistency, and investing in the lives of our children.

Wise or Foolish Wives?

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As Christian wives, we will be making decisions each day that affect our relationships with our husbands. Here is an example of the simple interactions that occur and often cause us the most difficulty. Susie (not her real name), a wife and mother, writes:

What should we as wives expect in the way of being a part of decisions made in the home? I wholeheartedly agree that our husbands have the final say in all matters, and they have the right to consult us or not. My question is mainly: is it unbiblical to request that my husband come to me before he announces to the whole family a decision he has made? This is not necessarily so I have the opportunity to change his mind but because he will often make changes to plans or make decisions, and I feel like an outsider. I don’t have a chance to work through any feelings or problems I see with a problem before he has already told the kids and me. It feels insulting to me that he would tell them and me at the same time.

Recently my husband made an abrupt change of plans. The children were disappointed, and I was too. I reacted improperly, and the whole night was miserable. My contention was that if he had made me a part of the change from the start, I could have gotten over my problems and been on his side much easier. Seeing their disappointment coupled with my own and the fact that he didn’t bring me in on it was totally overwhelming.

The next day we had another major situation that he wanted to take care of in a certain way. He brought me in private and told me what he wanted to do “so I wouldn’t have a fit in front of the kids.” I had something different in mind, and we were able to discuss it. He gave in to me because he saw my point. I don’t expect him to give in to me every time nor do I think it is feasible to do this every time. But this is the way I would prefer things to work. Is this biblical or not?

I think for Christian women, what Susie described here is a very real situation that many, if not most of us, have faced. It presents us a great opportunity to delve into the husband-and-wife issues at hand here. These are not the extremes of abuse but rather the kinds of everyday happenings that occur in Christian marriages. As wives, we must biblically decide how we will respond. I write this Mom’s Corner because the area of submission is still a regular battle for me with my flesh. Right now I need the reminders I will write in this article. I think I make two steps forward only to soon find myself at least one step back again.

First, let’s look at Susie’s situation where her husband sprang a disagreeable change of direction on the children and her without discussing it with her beforehand. Certainly, the key to a loving, growing husband-and-wife relationship is communication. Generally, decisions will be discussed by a husband and wife and agreed upon. However, it certainly isn’t beyond reason to expect times to arise where prior discussion hasn’t happened. It may be that the time for talking wasn’t available. It could be that the husband doesn’t think the situation is major enough to warrant taking communication time. He may feel sure his wife will be in sync with him, so he doesn’t see the need for prior discussion. But if she is unhappily surprised, then what?

This becomes our opportunity to test our hearts. It is easy to submit when we agree. It is hardly submission at all, is it? The crisis comes when we disagree. What kind of response do we want from our children if they don’t care for what we have asked them to do? Of course we prefer a happy smile and cheerful compliance. We have the chance to model this for our children in these everyday situations with our husbands.

I am ashamed to say that my displeasure, which is evident to both my husband and my children, is seldom, if ever, necessary. It generally rises from my personal biases. We aren’t talking sin issues here, but rather preferences. My reactions show my pride, not my meek and quiet spirit. They are a reflection of my continued selfishness and need to control to get my own way.

In Susie’s story, she tells us of her reaction to her husband’s decision: I reacted improperly, and the whole night was miserable. As I read her story, though, rather than repenting of her unsubmissive attitude, I see Susie wanting to blame her husband for her sin—trying to make it his fault rather than hers. I struggle with this so much. In my pride, I don’t want to be wrong and, worse yet, to be at fault. I want to find a way to pin my failure on something Steve didn’t do right. Then I don’t feel so bad or view my wrong reaction as sin. I have an excuse for it.

I would encourage us to accept our responsibility for our failures and not put the blame elsewhere. It is nothing more than my pride that won’t let me simply say, “My reaction was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” I want God’s grace in my life to help me be a wife that honors, respects, and submits to her husband. What does God say about pride? “. . . God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” (James 4:6). I want and need God’s grace. This verse tells me that His grace is given to me through my humility—saying I was wrong and asking for forgiveness—and that He resists me when I am proud—making excuses for my sin or blaming it on someone else.

We want our husbands to be strong, godly leaders. However, we often encourage the exact opposite tendency by our own words, attitudes, and actions. Consider the second situation Susie describes. Her husband does what she asks him to do by sharing his plans with her privately before he tells the children. Rather than using this information to help her have a positive attitude in front of the children, she expresses her disagreement with his direction. Wow, could I relate to that scenario. My own words don’t match my actions. Instead of putting up a fight, Susie’s husband goes with what she wants. I wouldn’t be surprised if he felt he was in a situation where no matter what he did, he couldn’t please his wife. Steve has told me that when we were in the midst of a similar situation. We wives seem to struggle so much with letting go and truly letting our husbands lead.

Scripture seems to be full of admonition and warnings of what happens to us, who are wives, and those around us if we choose this path of controlling:

“A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing” (Proverbs 9:13).

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” (Proverbs 14:1).

“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house” (Proverbs 21:9). (Proverbs 25:24 says almost the same thing.)

“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman” (Proverbs 21:19).

“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike” (Proverbs 27:15).

Then we have these verses, which give a wife a picture of an obedient walk with Jesus Christ:

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Ephesians 5:22-24).

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18).

“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5).

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives” (1 Peter 3:1).

We have a choice set before us each day. We can be wise women who build our houses, or we can be foolish ones who pluck them down. I pray that we will consider well how we can build our houses to bring joy and peace to those who live there. Who do we want to please? Jesus Christ? Our husbands? Ourselves? It is our decision. May we be women who take joy in obedience to Jesus Christ through submission to our husbands.

Whose Strength?

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Recently, this question was posed to me:

I have such an overwhelming desire to be a godly wife and mom. I want to serve my husband and children by providing a clean, cheery home, fresh laundry, and hearty, home-cooked meals. I desire to do this with a pleasant attitude and a meek and quiet spirit. BUT this is sooooooo far from reality!! I am consistently behind in all my housework and constantly struggling to stay on my schedule. It seems I either have a good attitude (and the house goes to pot), or I keep my chores done (and get snippy). I am praying for God to work through me and to make me the mom He desires. Yet I find it hard to distinguish between working as hard as I can while trusting God to make the change in me and pushing myself and pushing myself in my own strength. How can you tell the difference? A mom

I believe this is a common feeling among homeschooling moms. I have thought these thoughts and asked these questions myself. Of course the place we want to go for answers would be God’s Word. Does it offer any insights into this?

First, here is what God says about His role in our lives, particularly in our struggles.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:30).

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).

Our desires to be godly wives and mothers, to make our homes a haven for our families, and to have meek and quiet spirits are God-given desires. Scripture tells us that His grace is sufficient for us and that we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.

Our schedules are tools we can use to enable us to accomplish what the Lord Jesus has called us to do. That means we are to use them with a good attitude. A clean house and a sweet disposition are not mutually exclusive. When we are short-tempered as we go through our day, we can be assured we are doing it in our own strength. We know this because we are told in Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

When our spirits don’t exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, the Lord can use our awareness of this sin as a chastening. He wants us to learn and grow through these situations. “And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth . . . Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby” (Hebrews 12:5-6, 11).

Since God has called us to homeschool and keep up with our daily homemaking chores, our schedules are to be viewed as our helpers. The schedule needs to be prayerfully made up so that it allows time for each of the areas in which God has given us responsibility. If on a daily basis we are not keeping up in one or more areas, then we must go back to the Master and consult with Him. We know He doesn’t give us more to do than time to do it.

Perhaps the schedule is flushing out our own sinful tendencies. Maybe we are behind in housework and struggling to stay on a schedule because we stay up late at night and then don’t get up and going in the morning. It could be that we choose not to do what is on the schedule because we prefer to do other things. For example, the schedule may say it is time to do laundry, but that is my least favorite job. I decide to put it off, thinking I will make it up later. However, I don’t feel any more like doing the laundry at another time, so it ends up going undone. These are simply indications that my focus is on my own wants, desires, likes, and pleasures rather than on obedience to Jesus Christ.

We have to remember we are called to be sober, to love our husbands, to love our children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, and obedient to our own husbands (Titus 2:4-5). Therefore, our jobs as homeschooling moms and homemakers are acts of obedience to the Lord. When this is difficult for us, here is what we can read in Scripture that puts our battle with our failings into perspective: “Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin” (Hebrews 12:4).

God asks us to work hard. I think we can look at Paul’s life as an example of that. These verses show us his attitude toward the tasks that were before him. “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway” (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).

Paul shows us that he had learned to run the race and strive for mastery while at the same time resting in the Lord. I believe these verses give us a clue as to how he accomplished this. “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed . . . For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18). “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:2).

Here is the problem again, Yet I find it hard to distinguish between working as hard as I can while trusting God to make the change in me and pushing myself and pushing myself in my own strength. When we are obedient to the Lord with our focus on Him, we are not pushing in our own strength. Everything good we do is through Him. All of our irritation, negative responses, frustration, anger, worry, and strife is the outcome of pushing in our own strength for our own agenda.

Perhaps these two verses sum it up for us. “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14). May we see our service to our families as obedience to our Lord Jesus Christ and choose that obedience with a willing heart.