Category Archives: Mom’s Corner

Unwanted Feelings – Part 4

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As we continue our discussion of unwanted feelings, I want to share with you a beautiful example of how one mom applied what we have been talking about in this series in her life. But first, I’ll refresh with the e-mail that began these articles:

I woke up hurting and aching about the adoption this morning, and the feeling never left. Seeking HIM and seeking the peace and clarity that only HE can give.

Could you please pray for me to find my comfort in Christ? And to trust HIM. If you have time, could you please send me a Scripture that brings you comfort in times of loss? I will meditate on it. Amy

The first three articles in this series can be found here. If you haven’t read them, you will want to do that to have the complete picture concerning the process of dealing with unwanted feelings.

The following testimony fits well with our introductory e-mail because the events that led up to the testimony involve a difficult pregnancy, pre-term labor, and a premature birth. Read the following as a different Amy, Amy E., shares her heart through this process.

Dear Maxwell Family,

I thank you so much for your prayers on my behalf and for your notes of encouragement!

Back at Christmas time, I began asking the Lord to give me a new “theme” for 2012—a focus for my objectives for the new year. Reading in Genesis, I came across the verse where God said to Abraham, “. . . Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward” (Genesis 15:1). I meditated on that verse for some time and concluded that while we know that the Lord was about to do a lot of awesome things through Abraham’s life—in this verse, He was ultimately offering HIMSELF to Abraham as the reward in the end. A couple days later, I came to the verse I chose as my theme. It was: “And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me” (Genesis 22:12). I concluded that God knows we fear Him when we don’t withhold things from Him. I chose my memory verses for the year based on the things I tend to withhold from God and manage myself, areas where I wasn’t trusting Him.

A week later there was a bend in the road that I hadn’t seen coming, but the Lord had faithfully prepared me to go that way with these verses. It all started the first day in January when I was admitted to the hospital at twenty-three weeks along and discovered that I had no amniotic fluid, increased bleeding, and various other factors. Before long we learned that HUGE numbers of people were praying. It made me wonder what God was going to do that He was getting so many people on board for. Maybe this was going to be a miracle baby?

Over the next two weeks the Lord used my Bible time and a book I was reading to encourage me. Being removed from my normal environment (the hospital was an hour from home), He also gave me the opportunity to “try out” my resolve about not withholding things from Him. I could control nothing that was going on—nothing at home, nothing with the children, nothing with my body—NOTHING! He is so good!

I verbalized to several ladies that came to see me one day that the baby was not the ultimate end. I shared my verses and my belief that the end was the LORD—baby or no baby. He wanted to show me Himself as I had never seen Him before. The book I was reading said that we can’t know Him as the God of victory unless we face a battle. We can’t know Him as the God of all comfort if we don’t experience deep sorrow. Though my hope was that the Lord was going to see this baby through, I did consider that maybe He was going to use the baby to show Himself to me in a different way. Whenever the Lord gets many people involved in a situation, it is so that He can show His power, and that His name would be declared throughout all the earth! I thought surely the Lord is going to show Himself mighty by saving this baby!

That very evening after sharing with my friends, I abruptly went into labor. They moved me to labor and delivery and couldn’t find a heartbeat. The doctor found him in the birth canal (a place they never wanted him to be because he wouldn’t be able to handle delivery being so premature). His heart rate was 40 bpm. They moved me to surgery to have a C-section. He was born bruised and small. His little lungs just weren’t developed enough to breathe yet. They disconnected his tubes and wires and handed him to us. He was beautiful, and he smelled so good! He passed on immediately as we held him. He never opened his eyes in this life; the first face he ever saw was the Lord Jesus!

In summary, while this ending was not what I had in mind, the Lord has not ceased to show Himself mighty! I boast in Him as much as if He had sustained our little one. Words cannot express what the Lord has been to me. I have been under the shadow of His wings. I have found that God has lavished Himself on us exceeding abundantly! Every time a meal walked through our door, I felt as though it was from the Lord Himself. The Lord has shown His love so much through other people’s ovens, letters, phone calls, checkbooks, and especially the Scriptures. It has been exceedingly abundant. He has sent the right words of comfort and encouragement when we needed them. He has reminded us of His love all these days, hour by hour. I have seen His face as never before. I love Him more than I did before. And I am so full of thanks for all He has allowed.

I write this because with so many people praying and knowing that the Lord gets many on board so that they might know His power, I purposed that I would declare to as many as possible that there is truly none like Him in all the earth. We serve a mighty and wonderful God. Though my eyes fill with tears from time to time, and my arms are empty, I can say with a full heart, “Thank You Lord for this experience! I love You all the more because of it!”

I mentioned that I started reading in Genesis back at Christmas. As the Bible goes on, I am now in Exodus soaking in each verse, and I get excited to read, “Ye have seen what I did unto the Egyptians, and how I bare you on eagles’ wings, and brought you unto myself” (Exodus 19:4). I feel like I’m there in the account with those people, for their God is still working mightily. I have experienced Him. I hope that you will be like Jethro, who after hearing all that the Lord had done in Egypt, rejoiced in the goodness of the Lord, blessed His name, and worshipped.

In Jesus’ precious Name,

Amy E.

I am delighted that I am able to send Amy’s testimony beyond the boundaries that she anticipated it going. I am praying that her words and example will highlight what we have been discussing in these articles concerning negative emotions. Amy sought the Lord in her pain, and she found Him to be sufficient. I believe He is sufficient for each of us in every circumstance that brings unwanted emotions. Amy came through her trauma not overwhelmed by her pain but overjoyed by her Savior. May each of us do the same.

Unwanted Feelings – Part 3

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Having lived with anger, anxiety, and depression for several years, I wouldn’t want anyone to be continually experiencing those negative emotions. There are more negative emotions that rob us of the joy we desire to have for ourselves, for our families, and for those with whom we are in contact. Grief is one of those emotions if it is not properly worked through. Grief started out our discussion of dealing with unwanted feelings through this e-mail:

I woke up hurting and aching about the adoption this morning, and the feeling never left. Seeking HIM and seeking the peace and clarity that only HE can give.

Could you please pray for me to find my comfort in Christ? And to trust HIM. If you have time, could you please send me a Scripture that brings you comfort in times of loss? I will meditate on it. Amy

The first two articles in this series can be found here. If you haven’t read those articles, I encourage you to do so because those points are critical to our success. We began with the importance of crying out to the Lord Jesus for His grace and strength in our weakness, including asking others to pray for us. Then we moved into the arena of our thoughts and being thankful rather than focused on what is causing the negative feelings. We also saw the importance of using Scripture to help us.

Let me give you a personal example. Right now I am in the midst of a season of life that is probably very different from most of you, but one you will likely face in the future. I am helping my mom take care of my father, whose health is quickly failing. Each morning I go just around the corner from my house to their house to spend the next half hour getting him out of bed, cleaned up, dressed, and into his recliner chair for breakfast.

As I arrive at their house, I have a choice concerning my thoughts. I can think, “Lord, this is too hard. I don’t want to have to do this. It is depressing to see my dad in this condition.” On the other hand I can have thoughts like the following: “Thank You, Lord, that I live close to my parents, so I can help in their time of need. Lord, help me to lighten their load and make this time a little easier and happier for them. Lord, allow me to show love no matter what task I am faced with doing. Lord, let me never make them feel like a burden. Help me bring a bit of sunshine and joy into their lives this morning with a happy smile and uplifting conversation.”

There is a huge difference in the outcome of those two scenarios but only one difference in what was done. The difference was what I did with my thoughts. Here is a verse I share with you so often in Mom’s Corners. Read it, memorize it, and use it often because it is an integral part of walking in the Spirit and not in the flesh. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

When I allow the “poor me” thoughts, I am giving in to myself—to my flesh. However when I take the thoughts captive and bring them into the captivity of Christ, I gain His grace that allows me to walk in the Spirit and have the fruit of the Spirit that comes with it. This is true for my mornings with my parents, and it is the same for my friend, Amy. As long as she thinks about her loss, how sad it makes her, how devastating it is for her, her empty arms—she simply feels sadder and sadder. However, when she takes the thoughts captive and begins to concentrate on resting in God’s will in her life, trusting her husband’s decisions, thanking God for the children already given to her and other blessings in her life, and rejoicing in the happy reunion with her baby in heaven one day, then the sadness will be replaced by peace and joy.

I would also encourage you to get up and get busy when you have unwanted feelings. If you sit and think about them, they have a way of multiplying and entrenching themselves more firmly. Sometimes that ends up with unwanted actions that accompany the unwanted feelings—an outcome we most certainly would like to avoid. We just finished a series, Lazy to Self-Disciplined on moving from laziness to self-discipline. There will be some good hints if you reread those articles that would motivate you to choose to do something when it would be best for you to be active.

I firmly believe that having a schedule allows us to avoid many unwanted feelings and to deal with the ones that come. The productivity of life with a schedule removes the negative emotions like stress, frustration, and feeling overwhelmed that often arise when we are behind on the tasks that need to be accomplished in our lives. The harmony of sweeter relationships achieved by a family on a schedule, lets us avoid the anger, worry, and bitterness that we feel when our children are bickering, unruly, and disobedient. The direction of a schedule will keep us moving when sadness overwhelms, anxiety consumes, or depression despairs. If you could use help with scheduling, I suggest Managers of Their Homes because in that book, I teach you how to make and utilize a schedule.

I hope that the next time you find yourself flooded with unwanted feelings you will immediately begin to pray. Then take your thoughts captive by being grateful rather than sad, content rather than angry, or trusting rather than worried. Use Scripture to help you with that process. Also do something to take your mind off of what caused the feelings and the feelings themselves. I think you will be very excited! Share your success stories with me. I have a couple of examples I would like to give you next month. Maybe you will have more for me.

Unwanted Feelings – Part 2

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Last month we began a series of articles on how to biblically deal with unwanted feelings.

I used part of an e-mail from a friend to kick off our discussion, so I will share that again.

I woke up hurting and aching about the adoption this morning, and the feeling never left. Seeking HIM and seeking the peace and clarity that only HE can give.

Could you please pray for me to find my comfort in Christ? And to trust HIM. If you have time, could you please send me a Scripture that brings you comfort in times of loss? I will meditate on it. Amy

Amy had just learned that a newborn adoption her family had been pursuing wasn’t going to work out, and she was feeling sad. We will all face emotions that are painful, from grieving to loneliness to anxiety. Amy’s sadness wasn’t wrong; it was a normal emotion that comes when there is a loss. However, what she does with that emotion when it arises will most likely determine whether she becomes consumed by her grief or whether she experiences the comfort that the God of all comfort offers her, allowing her to move healthily through her sadness.

As an example, I have interacted with several moms who have lost loved ones, and when they write to me they have become immobilized by their grief. When we give in to self-pity in our sadness, then we are dealing with unwanted feelings. So often we will discover that our unwanted feelings are rooted in our own selfishness. We don’t get what we want. Things don’t go the way we prefer them to go. The children don’t do what we told them to do. Our husbands aren’t communicating the way we would like them to communicate. The foundation of the unwanted feelings is bound up in selfish thoughts that we might not even recognize or be willing to acknowledge.

In February’s article, we evaluated Amy’s cry for prayer support. We learned that when we make such a cry, we are requesting His strength in our weakness and His grace that is sufficient. As we cry out for His mercy, we are taking our focus off ourselves and putting it onto the One Who cares the most for us. “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

We also saw that praying with thanksgiving moves our focus off of our pain and onto our blessings: self-thoughts then migrate to grateful thoughts.

The next step in dealing with negative feelings is to seek the Lord Jesus Christ. That is what Amy said she was doing: seeking Him, His peace, and His clarity. For Amy’s need, He is the God of all comfort. “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

One clear way we seek the Lord Jesus is by being in His Word. “And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God” (Luke 4:4). When we are in His Word on a daily basis, He is growing us, teaching us, comforting us, and nurturing us. In many ways, we are like those newborn babies we love so dearly. “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby” (1 Peter 2:2). We have to desire the sincere milk of the Word if we want to grow spiritually.

We are prone, though, to make excuses as to why we aren’t in the Word. It usually has to do with being too busy, too tired, or too forgetful. Yet that busyness, tiredness, and forgetfulness make it all the more imperative that we keep our priorities correct and that we receive the daily spiritual milk and bread that we need to be the spiritual women God wants us to be.

As we are in the Word, we receive His comfort in times of grief, we learn how to deal with loneliness, we become more patient, we discover how to love, and so much more. As all of that is developing in us, the negative feelings will control us less and less. It is truly the fruit of the Spirit evidenced in our lives. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).

Amy was also seeking the Lord by asking for specific Scripture that would meet the need of her grieving heart. As we find those verses, read them, and even memorize them, we have a powerful tool in our hands for attacking negative feelings, whether they are feelings of grief that want to overwhelm or feelings of anger that want to lash out. “And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Ephesians 6:17).

Here are some verses that Amy could read and even memorize. Consider how they would help to bring comfort to her heart.

“Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.” (Job 1:20-22)

“In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.” (Psalm 94:19)

“This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me.” (Psalm 119:50)

“We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” (2 Corinthians 4:17)

“Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.” (Ephesians 6:16)

When you have those unwanted negative feelings this month, I challenge you to pray and ask the Lord to take those feelings from you. Turn your thoughts to ones of gratitude to the Lord for the blessings He has placed in your life. I also suggest that you determine right now that you are going to be committed to spending time reading your Bible every day so that you are renewing your mind. “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God” (Romans 12:2). Finally memorize some key verses in the areas where you most frequently have negative feelings so that you have your ammunition available with which to attack those feelings.

Join me next month as we continue our consideration of how to deal with unwanted feelings.

Unwanted Feelings – Part 1

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Recently I received an e-mail from a very dear friend. This is what she said:

I woke up hurting and aching about the adoption this morning, and the feeling never left. Seeking HIM and seeking the peace and clarity that only HE can give.

Could you please pray for me to find my comfort in Christ? And to trust HIM. If you have time, could you please send me a Scripture that brings you comfort in times of loss? I will meditate on it. Amy

Amy had good reason to wake up feeling sad. Her family had just found out that an adoption they had longed for and prayed for was not going to happen. They were in the midst of grieving the loss of this little one they had hoped would be theirs to raise.

We have all had feelings to deal with that we haven’t wanted to experience. It might be grief like my friend, but it could be depression, loneliness, anxiety, or anger. What we would prefer is to have the peace, joy, contentment, and comfort that comes from Jesus Christ. That sounds a great deal like the fruit of the Spirit to me. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).

We want that fruit of the Spirit controlling our feelings, but how does that happen? “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would” (Galatians 5:16-17).

My friend started in the right place in her desire to walk in the Spirit and not fulfill the lust of the flesh—by praying and asking for prayer support. What biblical basis do we have for this first step? “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). Be careful for nothing means that we aren’t to be anxious, worried, sad, or upset about anything, whether it is an adoption that doesn’t come through, a child who is rebelling, a health obstacle, financial difficulties—the list is endless. Our directive is that we are not to entertain the negative feelings, but rather we are to pray and let God know our requests.

Not only did Amy pray herself, but she asked others to pray for her as well. “Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints” (Ephesians 6:18). We humble ourselves as we admit our weaknesses and ask for prayer. “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” (James 4:6). We all need more of God’s grace. It is in our weakness that He is shown to be strong.

Paul was often seen in the New Testament asking for prayer. Here is one example: “Brethren, pray for us” (1 Thessalonians 5:25). Of all Christians, Paul’s spiritual maturity would have indicated that he could have gotten along without prayer. Paul knew, though, that his strength was not his own but his Lord’s. He depended on prayer just like we must.

These powerful verses give us another clue as to how His strength is available in our weakness. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

There is another aspect to our praying, and that is to pray with thanksgiving. We enable great power through gratitude. “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). It is almost impossible to be sad, angry, depressed, or worried when you are being thankful. We recently hosted a young missionary who had just returned from a two-year mission trip to Ghana. He talked about how the Christians in Ghana thank God for things most American Christians never do—things like the air we breath, the sun shining, or the bed they sleep on. He challenged us to do something he had begun doing if he felt discouraged and that was to thank the Lord for five things he had never before thanked the Lord for.

When the challenge was presented, I thought it would be tough to come up with five things for which I hadn’t already thanked the Lord. The very next day I had the opportunity to try it out. Steve and I were both seeing a chiropractor, and I looked forward to our rides to and from the chiropractor together. On this day, Steve had a dental appointment before the chiropractic appointment so we met at the office and drove home separately. On the way home, I was feeling sorry for myself because I was alone without Steve’s company. So I thought, “Okay, Lord, what are five things I can thank You for that I never thanked You for before? Thank You for this street I am driving on right now. Thank You for those who made the road, and thank You for those who maintain it.” Wow, driving home was developing a thankfulness theme in my mind. “Thank You, Lord, for the engineers who designed this car that I can use to move around. Thank You, Lord, for the speed with which a car allows me to accomplish what I need to do away from home. Thank You, Lord, that we have gasoline to power this car.”

Since we will all experience unwanted, negative feelings controlling our thoughts, attitudes, or actions, as Christian women we look to the Word for direction on how to deal with those kinds of feelings. The starting place is going to be prayer. It is the foundation for the fruit of the Spirit that we desire to have ruling in our lives. Not only will we be crying out to the Lord, but we can also ask others to pray for us. Through prayer our weakness is His strength. As we turn our hearts to being thankful, that gratitude will be the bedrock of the peace the Lord Jesus brings to overcome the bad feelings from which we want to be freed. There is more I would like us to consider in overcoming unwanted feelings, so we will continue the discussion next month. P.S. I would really encourage you to read the book, Sweet Journey. It extensively addresses prayer and gives practical ideas to develop this important area of your walk with the Lord Jesus.

From Lazy to Self-Disciplined – Part 6

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The purpose of this series of articles has been to encourage moms who want to become more self-disciplined in their lives. We began with this e-mail:

I was wondering if you had any advice (or possibly you could address this in a Mom’s Corner) on how someone can improve her work ethic. I am terribly embarrassed to admit this, but I really feel like at times I can be lazy. I know there are things that need to be done, but I just don’t feel like doing them! I realize that this is a sinful attitude, and I want to change. Do other moms struggle with this? Would you have any tips on how I can improve or Bible verses that could encourage me in this area? Self-discipline is a character quality I would very much like to see flourish in my life, and I would like to pass it on to my children!

As we wrap up our series, we are continuing to look at ways other moms move themselves from a lazy lifestyle to the disciplined heart they greatly desire. Amber shares this with us:

I really love your Mom’s Corners. They seem to help me out, and they are food for thought. I wanted to let you know lazy to self-disciplined really hit home to me for it seemed to be something that I struggle with daily.

Second I remind myself that it does not ALL have to be done TODAY! As women, we seem to think of a million things that must be done. However, the reality is just one thing at a time. There are some days where I can only do it five minutes at a time. I have five darling children, the oldest is six and the youngest is a month old. There are days when hubby comes home and asks what I did all day. I tell him two things—I nursed the baby and made dinner with one hand. Sometimes that is all I can do, but as long as I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father and am actively pursuing it, I know He will bless me with the strength and knowledge that I need.

This verse encourages me, If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed (James 1:5-6).” Amber

Amber directs us to the ultimate source of our self-discipline—the Lord Jesus. Making self-discipline a focus by praying and studying the Word, she is allowing the Lord to the transform her life, give her the energy she needs, and help her make choices away from laziness.

When Amber tells her husband all she did was to nurse the baby and make dinner with one hand, we know she did much more than that. She spent time with the Lord in the Word early in the morning, got the children up and dressed, fed them breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen, brushed the little ones’ teeth, made beds, picked up toys, directed the children in their play, washed laundry, fed the children lunch, put them down for their naps, homeschooled her five and six-year-old, and who knows what other tasks she accomplished in addition to nursing the baby and making dinner. She just doesn’t feel like she has anything to show for her time, but her investment in her family has been invaluable and most necessary. She has not been lazy but self-disciplined.

The next self-discipline idea gives us a hint at how we can prepare our environment to either help or hinder laziness.

Hi Teri,
Just wanted to say that one way I fight my being lazy is to put on a apron in the morning; it just gives me the feeling that I’m dressed for work and sets me apart as the homemaker, and keeps my skirts from getting too dirty from the daily work of cooking, cleaning, and caring for young children.
Andrea

Not only will putting on an apron give one an attitude that is conducive to working, but also getting dressed in the morning and making the bed upon rising can do the same. An unmade bed and walking through the house in a robe seems to facilitate the lazy choices more than the self-disciplined ones.

Here is a suggestion you might be interested in from Kathy.

Teri,
You asked for tips on being more self-disciplined. One thing I do is to picture a room or piece of furniture as it would look if it were clean. This is motivating to me. When I picture it, I feel so good inside!  Having a taste of that feeling keeps me going to finish cleaning and straightening it. Kathy

This might be something you would want to try. When you feel like you want to avoid doing a task in front of you, picture in your mind what it will be like to have it completed, and then let that motivate you to tackle it.

This is the final suggestion I received to pass on to you.

Teri,
This hits my heart directly. I was not taught to be a hard worker and now having a family of my own, I have to make decisions on whether I will allow my upbringing to destroy my family and my children’s as they grow or if I will work to better it now for the future. I get bogged down and feel overwhelmed, like I’m drowning with all that needs to be done. However, I’ve helped to create that feeling. I find that I’m really good at wasting time self-indulging, rather than working on what needs to get done thus making the tasks harder because the mess grows.

So for me, I’ve had to do much what you do with writing your column. I set a timer to do a task ten minutes (give or take a few) at a time. If the dishes need to be done, that is something I can accomplish in that amount of time and what a rewarding feeling it is. If it’s straightening up the living room, by the time ten minutes go by, I’m amazed with what I got done and how quickly ten minutes passed! Sometimes (and only sometimes since I AM a work in progress) I continue on after the timer goes off.

Reading is one of my favorite pastimes, so periodically if I would really rather read than work, I tell myself I can sit and read for a certain number of minutes IF I switch the laundry, fold and put it away, as a kind of reward. Sometimes I feel like I’m being silly, but not being raised to just do it, it takes these kinds of ‘silly’ rewards.

Thank you for addressing this issue of laziness to self-discipline.
Jacque

As we wrap up our discussion of laziness and self-discipline, I want to direct you to the Word. Remember the Scripture verses we began this series with that showed how the Lord desires us to be self-disciplined.

Cry out to the Lord to help you if this is an area in which you are struggling. Consider the example you will be to your children when you model self-discipline to them. Don’t we want to help them overcome obstacles that they will likely face in their futures?

Being self-disciplined will enable us to be good stewards of the time God has placed into our hands. I encourage you to use a schedule so that you can be productive with your time and manage it well. If you would like some help with a schedule, we would suggest Managers of Their Homes. Here’s what Jamie wrote:

Thank you so much for this book! It has been extremely helpful. Not only do I have three children of my own, but I also watch two children. So I have five children four and under. My oldest has begun kindergarten this year. Using the schedule has made the days run smoothly. Everything is getting done (even the laundry!). I am not a schedule person. But it doesn’t seem like a schedule as much when I am the one planning the day!

As additional motivation, look toward the rewards you and your family will experience when you are accomplishing the tasks that will be part of your self-disciplined choices. January is a time of new beginnings. Will you make the move from lazy to self-disciplined?

The Heart of Christmas

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With Christmas on the horizon, our thoughts usually shift toward what that season means to us personally and to our children. Not growing up in Christian homes, Steve and I have had to develop our own traditions for celebrating the birth of Christ that would reflect the reality of Jesus Christ in our lives.

Knowing that December 25th was likely not the actual day that Jesus was born and realizing the pagan roots of a December 25th celebration, some Christians choose not to celebrate Christmas. If that is the case for you, this would not be a Mom’s Corner for you to continue reading. Our family chooses to celebrate Christmas because it focuses on the magnificent miracle of the birth of our Savior. Plus it is one of two holidays in which even the world expects Christians to participate. Here is a link to an article Steve wrote about why our family celebrates Christmas.

Santa Clause or Not?

After our salvation, one of the first things we eliminated that had to do with Christmas from our childhoods was Santa Claus. We didn’t want our children believing in Santa Claus only to find out later it was a lie. Some would say it is all in fun, but the reality is that it is deceitful. “Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds” (Colossians 3:9). We continued putting up Christmas stockings because of my heart attachment to each of the children’s Christmas stockings. Even though Santa Claus was no longer a part of this aspect of our Christmas, a couple of years later we simply wanted to be free of any association with Santa Claus in our Christmas celebration, so we even set aside the stockings.

Many years ago, we also realized that when one entered our home at Christmas time, the Christmas tree was the center of attention. However, we had a desire for the decorating in our house to reflect our worship of the Lord Jesus Christ and draw our hearts more closely to Him during this season.

So we began to cull out of our Christmas decorations any that were not Christ centered and to look for new ones to replace those we were no longer using. We also decided to stop getting a Christmas tree. While we wouldn’t say that Jeremiah 10:3-4 is talking about a Christmas tree directly, there are many similarities that are too powerful to ignore. In addition, I know I sometimes sat and admired the beautiful Christmas tree rather than worshiping my worthy Savior. “For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not” (Jeremiah 10:3-4).

Christmas Shoe Box Outreach

As a family, we like to participate in a shoe box outreach where we purchase small toys and personal items to be placed inside a shoe box and given to a needy child in a third world country. We began doing this when a national ministry started a shoe box Christmas program. In more recent years, two missionaries to Mexico whom we support, have begun their own small-scale shoe box ministry. They collect the shoe boxes and then personally distribute them to children in their towns. That has made the shoe box shopping and giving even more special to our family because we have been able to see photos of our gifts being given to children.

It is a ministry our children have undertaken by financing it, doing the shopping, packing the shoe boxes, and getting them shipped to the missionary. The shoe box outreach affirms our goal of teaching our children the joy of giving. “I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).

About twenty years ago, I began saving the yearly Christmas letter and family photo that I was sending to others. Each year I would put the letter and photo into a scrapbook. This scrapbook has become a precious treasure summarizing the highlights of each year of our lives and documenting the changes that were occurring as the children grew. It is something I would have liked to have begun in my first year of marriage.

Christmas Caroling

Our family also has chosen Christmas caroling as a special way to share Christ at Christmas. We carol in our neighborhood as a family. The girls spend a great deal of time planning something to bake and give to those homes where we carol. Some years it has been a plate full of homemade cookies, while other times it was fresh baked cinnamon bread or poppy seed loaves. We also include a homemade card with a salvation Scripture. It is our heart’s desire that all of our neighbors would come to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

Our children love to give gifts to their family members. They group into teams of two or three and invest much time, thought, and prayer into their gift giving. They enjoy their shopping outings and gift-wrapping afternoons while keeping secrets, looking forward to pleasing the recipient of the gift. Through the years, we have monitored the children’s hearts, watching for greediness that focuses on what they get versus what they give. We have observed that the children’s greatest joy is in what they are giving to their siblings and other family members rather than what they will receive.

We have made a tradition of planning an evening near Christmas to take the family out to eat and then to drive around looking at Christmas lights. “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life” (John 8:12). While we drive, we listen to a powerful, dramatic presentation from Back to the Bible called the Twelve Voices of Christmas. We have done this for the past fifteen years, but we never tire of hearing the Christmas story through the hearts of the characters who were a part of it.

During Christmas week, Steve moves the reading during our family Bible time to the passages of Scripture from the Old Testament that are prophetic of Jesus’ birth and to the chapters in the New Testament that tell the story of God becoming a man. On Christmas night, we have a tradition that has been in place for a little over twenty years. My dad and mom started it for their grandchildren. It is now carried on to include the great grandchildren. My mom has a nativity that she sets aside for use only on Christmas night for our family Christmas program. The program includes reading Christmas-related Scriptures from both the Old and New Testaments plus singing Christmas carols that would relate to each passage of Scripture. My dad would narrate the program, and when he called out a Scripture reference, the person who had been given the slip of paper with those verses would read it. All of the pieces of the nativity set have been wrapped in tissue paper and numbered. At the appropriate place in the program, the little children get to come one by one to receive a part of the nativity set to be unwrapped and placed wherever in the nativity they want it to go. My mom keeps all of the supplies for the Christmas program—nativity, numbered tissues for wrapping the figures, Scripture reference slips of paper, carol word sheets, and the narrator’s paper together in her Christmas supplies. If you are interested in this homemade Christmas program, here is a link.

We have our family Christmas on Christmas Eve day. This began when our children were little, and we would spend Christmas Day with my parents who were our next-door-neighbors. Having our family’s gift giving on Christmas Eve freed up Christmas Day to spend at Grandad and Grandma’s. Now Grandad and Grandma’s health is such that all the celebrating is at our house so they are part of our Christmas Eve day. Opening our presents and having our Christmas meal on Christmas Eve now allows us time to go to the nursing home on Christmas Day. It gives our daughter-in-law, whose family lives close, freedom to spend Christmas with her family.

While the Christmas season can become hectic and focused on what has to be done, I want to encourage you to use that busyness to put your heart on worshiping your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. “Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name; worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness” (Psalms 29:2). When I worship the Lord Jesus while I prepare for the celebration of His birth, my heart is set on things above. “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:1-2).

May I suggest that you evaluate with your husband what is important for your family during the Christmas season and make sure that your time is invested in those priorities. Be sure Christmas is purposefully utilized to draw your children’s hearts to Jesus Christ and to serving Him.

From Lazy to Self-Disciplined – Part 5

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As we continue our series of Mom’s Corners discussing moving from being lazy to being self-disciplined, I will first direct you to the previous four articles.

I have been asking others to share their strategies for how the Lord has helped them toward a self-disciplined life. Now I can give some of those to you so that you can be helped and encouraged by them too.

Jen sent me a whole list of her tips.

1. Everyone works together so that everyone can relax together. I try to be mindful that my husband is working at a job all day, and that I should be ‘on the clock’ too. Then, the children and I all do our morning chores at the same time. When no one is just sitting around, everyone works a little harder! It almost becomes like a race. The children scurry around trying to get everything picked up while I’m working in the kitchen because no one still wants to be in their area when the vacuum starts running. Work doesn’t have to be unpleasant, and a good old-fashioned competition spices things up!

2. Make a joyful noise!! This is a great time to see if you know all the verses to a favorite hymn by heart. Often, getting all the way through Amazing Grace is the same amount of time it takes to clean the bathroom—if I’m hustling. AND, I feel totally uplifted at the end.

3. Think of it as a gift. Despite my #1 point, there are definitely days off that I get that my husband doesn’t get (say days we don’t do school). I know that on those days I will get more time to put my feet up. So, it is a nice thing to clean the kitchen after dinner sometimes without asking for help and let him have some much-needed downtime too!

4. Pay attention to your best time of day to do ____________. I am most cheerful and energetic in the morning, so the best time for me to do chores is then. In the afternoon I’m better off grading children’s work, or prepping for the next day’s school. Because I know this about myself, different kinds of work feel less onerous. I frequently cook with my crock-pot, because I can make dinner in the morning then too!

5. Compliment yourself and your children on a job well done. Once a task is complete I love to sit back and say out loud, WOW! The ______________ looks sooooooooooooo nice! It directs everyone’s focus to the fact that our house is a more peaceful place when tidy.

As an aside, I think we all need to really pay attention to where we are in life too. As I finish out the first trimester of my fifth pregnancy in nine years, I know that my all day/night morning sickness has about a month left to go—maybe two. I honor the fact that the most important thing I am doing right now is growing a baby. If that makes me too tired to do everything I usually do, I ask for help, or in some cases I let things go undone. This is a time to talk to my children about the miracle happening inside me, to encourage them to help with the littles when I can’t and to come and read their school work to me when I am too sick to get up. It teaches them kindness, compassion, and understanding too!—Jen

As Jen suggested, by encouraging your children to work with you, you are helping them to develop self-discipline, a quality that will benefit them both now and in the future. Singing while you do what you need to do, if that is possible, raises your heart to praising the Lord in the midst of your work. Certainly when we choose to do something that allows our spouse to rest or frees them for another task, we have the satisfaction of loving and serving. Finally, Jen’s decision to pay attention to tasks that require more energy and then to schedule them when her energy level is higher helps her to be more willing to undertake the jobs that she might otherwise want to avoid.

In addition to the suggestions that Jen brought up, she turns our attention to another thing that we need to consider and that is what constitutes being lazy. She is at the end of her first trimester, and she doesn’t have the energy to do what she can do when she isn’t pregnant. Does that make her lazy? Certainly not. She is wise to listen to her body, rest when she needs to in order to care for her unborn baby, and let work go that she would normally do.

Along these same lines, I received this e-mail from Erin.

Thank you Teri for your Corners. I am struggling at the moment. In the Mom’s Corner you wrote, ‘If we don’t feel like working because we are tired, then it would be better to sleep and refresh ourselves than to fritter our time away doing nothing.’ How can we know if we really need to rest more, or if we should just keep pushing ourselves so that we are not being lazy? Sometimes I feel like everything is an effort, sometimes too much. I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time, but other days (not often enough) I have so much energy and achieve a lot. If I give in and rest, I will not get done all I need to to keep the house in order. Thanks again for all your encouragement. —Erin

I think this is a pertinent and serious question. For trying to determine whether you are being lazy or is just plain tired, I think you want to do two things: consider where you are physically and check your spirit. On the physical side, are you getting enough sleep? Do you have a nursing baby who gets you up in the night? If you know you aren’t getting enough sleep, then taking a nap in the afternoon isn’t being lazy. It is being prudent. You will get more accomplished with the other hours in the day, and you will have a more pleasant attitude as well.

If you are chronically tired for no apparent reason such as lack of sleep, then you want to check your diet and exercise. Are you eating a healthy diet? Sometimes we undermine our health by getting into habits of subsisting on caffeine pushes from coffee or soda only to have that cause health repercussions. Do you exercise? If you are not physically fit, you will not have a good energy level and will be more lethargic. It is possible that you need to go to a doctor to determine if there is a physical cause for being tired.

For the spirit check, ask yourself: Why is everything an effort? Is it because you don’t want to do it? Is it because you don’t like to do it? If that’s the case, then it could be laziness. This laziness manifests itself in thoughts like, “I don’t like what I have to do, and therefore, I resist it.”

As far as feeling overwhelmed, remember that last month, I encouraged moms to use a schedule. It makes you much more productive, and it helps you avoid that overwhelmed feeling.

I would also encourage you to ask your husband. Often those who know us best have a more realistic picture of us than we do ourselves. It might be that we are deceiving ourselves by saying that we aren’t lazy when in practice we are. It might also be, though, that we are pushing too hard when we need to slow down, and that slowing down isn’t lazy at all. It is being reasonable.

I still have suggestions that I want to pass on to you from several more moms on what helps them to be self-disciplined. I can continue with those next month. For now, I want to encourage you to have your heart set on what the Lord Jesus has called you to do. Be productive with your time, resting in Him to allow you to accomplish what He has set before you. If you are tired, evaluate whether there is a physical cause that needs to be corrected and take the necessary steps. Don’t call yourself lazy when you are not getting enough sleep because you were up in the night with children, and then you feel tired in the afternoon. Take a nap when the children do. Don’t feel like you need to push yourself when you are pregnant and have run out of energy at the end of the day, or even the middle of the day. However, if clothes need to be folded and you are surfing the Internet, then I encourage you to call it lazy. If it is time to start homeschooling and you are checking e-mail, then I suggest you determine that self-discipline is the better road for you. Get off the computer, and start school!

From Lazy to Self-Disciplined – Part 4

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We have been investigating the challenging topic of how we can move from being lazy at heart to being self-disciplined. If you haven’t read the other parts in the series, you may do so.

In the previous articles, we looked at the biblical basis for choosing to be self-disciplined. Here is another verse to motivate us toward accomplishing what the Lord Jesus has set before us each day: “Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger” (Proverbs 19:15).

The time the Lord has given to each of us is a treasure, and He wants us to be good stewards of that treasure. This is evident in the parable told in Matthew 25:14-29. Are we using our time as the faithful servant who was given five talents and used it to get five more talents, or are we like the unfaithful servant who took and hid his one talent in the ground? When we are productive with our time, we are the faithful servant, but when we waste time, we are the unfaithful one.

On the practical side of self-discipline, I have found that using a schedule helps me not to be lazy. The schedule sets in front of me what needs to be accomplished, so I do not have to make dozens of decisions as I move through my day about what I am going to do next. Before using a schedule, with the ending of each activity, would come the temptation not to do what needed to be done. I had the option of deciding to do something I would rather do than what I needed to do, to do nothing, or to do a time waster—all of which were the lazy choices rather than the self-disciplined ones.

When I began making and using a schedule, I was seeking the Lord for what He wanted me to be doing and how to fit that into the available time. The right decision had been made when developing the schedule, and all I had to do was to follow it. In setting my schedule, I made sure to include personal activities that were important to me, such as Bible reading and prayer, exercise, and time with my children.  were not lazy or undisciplined activities. They were positive priorities for my time, and they were going to happen when they were in the schedule. For more detailed information on scheduling, I would recommend Managers of Their Homes.

Here is an e-mail that was generated from this Mom’s Corner series:

Mrs. Maxwell,

In reading your article “From Lazy to Self-Disciplined,” my question is would you further help me to define productive activities? I admit that I am not a very disciplined housekeeper. But many times I choose to spend time with my children (7, 4, and 1) and not on housework. The easy answer would be that the children and I would do the housework as our activity, but I know that the season of life we are in now is short. If my husband is okay with a little clutter, is playing in the sandbox with my little ones a productive activity? Should my focus be on raising my children or keeping the house?

Thank you,
Amber

I would encourage Amber that raising children and keeping house are not mutually exclusive. Playing with the children is a productive activity, but only when it is balanced with the necessary housework. If all a mom does is play with the children, then it would become a lazy choice, especially if she is avoiding her household responsibilities by doing it.

When using a schedule, there is time to keep house and play in the sandbox with the children. Both activities are important and productive. If Amber will schedule her children to work with her, she will not only be maximizing her time with the children but she will also be teaching them to be self-disciplined. Her struggle with being a disciplined housekeeper is most likely rooted in a childhood where she wasn’t encouraged to work; therefore, she didn’t learn the self-discipline that would be an asset to her as an adult. We had a series of articles on this topic not too long ago: Holly Homemaker.

Another way that I can direct you toward self-discipline is to make use of those little bits of time that are easily wasted whether one is using a schedule or not. Here is an example of that. In the morning, Steve and I walk for an hour, then I hang on an inversion table for my back, and next comes personal Bible reading and prayer time. Before I start my Bible reading, I prepare a moist heating pad by putting it in the microwave for three minutes.

Here is what I was able to accomplish in those three minutes when I tracked it one morning to share with you.

  • Got out vitamins.
  • Washed up several dishes sitting in the sink.
  • Took soiled towels to the washing machine.
  • Put items away that were out on the counter.

 

I could have spent those three minutes simply doing nothing or looking through a catalog. This is often the temptation when there are just a few minutes available. We tend to think it isn’t worth trying to be productive with that time. However, consider what one can accomplish in just three minutes!

Let me share with you the one testimony of ways to develop self-discipline that I received after my first request. This example fits in well with the suggestion to use small pieces of time productively.

“One practical way that I have found to combat laziness is to use a timer for my computer use. I set the timer for ten minutes. This gives me time to check my e-mail and maybe take a quick peek at a couple of other sites (like the Maxwell family blog!). I find that ten minutes a day is enough to do whatever I need to do on the Internet.

“I used to be always popping onto the computer to ‘check just one thing’—only to realize an hour had gone by. It was really just a lack of self-discipline and a lazy way of avoiding the tasks that I needed to be about. I was also searching for inspiration and affirmation on the Internet, instead of searching God’s Word.” Cherie

Cherie is utilizing a few short minutes and then choosing to be self-disciplined by limiting her computer time to what she has determined would be best for her. Setting the timer keeps her accountable to the standard that she has decided upon. Her method can work for any of us, and I think we can all relate to getting on the computer to see if we have any e-mail, thinking it will only take a minute or two, and suddenly realize an hour has gone by.

Since my initial request for suggestions on how to move from laziness to self-discipline, I have received several more, so I plan to share those in next month’s Mom’s Corner. For now, I encourage you to be a faithful steward of the time God has given you. Consider using a schedule to help you be productive and to minimize, or maybe even eliminate, the lazy time wasters in your life. I pray your heart will be pulled to the self-discipline that the Lord would want in your life.

From Lazy to Self-Disciplined – Part 3

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Before we move to the Corner, I have to share with you about Sweet Journey, a book that we have just released. So many moms come to me, through e-mail and are struggling. As I have worked with them, giving them projects to help them to build foundations in their walk with the Lord, their e-mails suddenly take on a new lilt: one of excitement, encouragement, and hope! This book has been on my heart for many months, possibly even years, and it’s our prayer that the Lord will use it in the lives of Christian women throughout the world. For more information see this page.

This month we are continuing to delve into the area of moving from being lazy to self-disciplined. If you haven’t read the other two parts of this series here is the link.

In the first article where I shared an e-mail with questions on this subject that kicked off our discussion, one thing the mom asked me was if I thought other moms struggle with being lazy. I assured her that I expected we all do to some extent or other. I am now even more convinced of that because in the last article, I asked for readers to share their testimonies of moving from being lazy to self-disciplined. I only received one story!

We have evaluated the Biblical basis for choosing self-discipline rather than laziness in the previous articles. I encouraged you to be looking for verses that would endorse self-discipline rather than laziness as you were in the Word. Amy did just that. Here is what she wrote.

”I came across this verse while reading Ecclesiastes today, and I thought it fit with the current Mom’s Corner series. ‘By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through.’ (Ecclesiastes 10:18)” Amy

This verse hits right where our hearts are—in our homes. A building decaying and a house dropping through could be literal or figurative. In the figurative sense, it might be along the lines of what we discussed last month. Our example to our children—whether it is an example of laziness of an example of self-discipline—will have profound effects in their lives. Laziness can be the root of children who grow up but cannot be successful in their adult lives. Certainly for a mother’s heart this would be a house that dropped through. Would it motivate us to be a model of self-discipline if we thought about the impact it might have on our children throughout their lives? Would we give in to laziness if we realized that it wasn’t just a harmless choice that we make with no visible consequences, but that it was a decision that could devastate our children’s lives?

Once we have it firmly embedded in our minds that laziness is to be avoided and self-discipline practiced, I would suggest we begin by taking it to the Lord. We can repent of our laziness and ask forgiveness by confessing them to the Lord Jesus. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Then we will petition the Lord in our prayers for His grace and strength to help us change. He does tell us we can do all things through Him. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).

The Lord Jesus also says that His grace is sufficient for us because His strength is made perfect in weakness. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Rather than feeling defeated because of our laziness, Paul would encourage us to see our infirmity of laziness as an opportunity for Christ’s power to become our strength.

Next I would encourage that we memorize—that in itself is a great self-discipline activity—at least one key verse that directs us to self-discipline and two or three would be even more helpful. Those verses are going to be the truth that we use to take our thoughts captive. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Memorized verses will help us move our minds from “I deserve to do nothing,” or “I never have any time to myself” to the truth of “Serving is a blessing,” and “I want to do what the Lord has for me to do.” So when the self-indulgent thoughts begin to formulate, you can remember this verse, “. . . Arise therefore, and be doing, and the LORD be with thee” (1 Chronicles 22:16).

After the first article in this series, Amy also wrote this testimony about how she motivates herself to accomplish her tasks.

“I just read the Mom’s Corner about laziness versus self-discipline. I’ve realized that sometimes when I don’t feel like working it is because I am tired or overwhelmed with a task. But, I can also self-indulge and waste time too. I’ve noticed that I am happiest when my house is clean and organized. I am not happy when I spend time online and get behind on housework.

These realizations help me to make decisions. Should I unload and load the dishwasher or get on the computer? What is going to make me happiest in the long run? What is going to make my life easier? What is going to be best for my family? I’ve also realized that God has given me enough hours in the day to accomplish what I need to accomplish. I’m the one who wastes time and then gripes that I have too much to do.” Amy

Amy has some good insights into her heart and her time. How often it can be true that we murmur about being too busy, but then choose to waste time. If we don’t feel like working because we are tired, then it would be better to sleep and refresh ourselves than to fritter our time away doing nothing.

When a task is so overwhelming that we don’t want to attempt it, I have found that if I tell myself I am just going to work on it for a certain amount of time, I will get started. I often do that when writing a Mom’s Corner. Because I only have two homeschool students left and one doesn’t need any of my teaching time, I normally have two hours a day scheduled for computer time. During those two hours, I am mostly answering Titus2 ministry e-mails that Steve sends to me and other miscellaneous tasks that are done at the computer, but each month I also need to write a Mom’s Corner. That is more difficult for me than answering e-mail. So I will sometimes allow other computer activities, ones that aren’t as taxing as writing the Mom’s Corner, to be an excuse not to write it. Then I will determine that I will spend at least one hour on the Mom’s Corner each day until it is completed. When I am finished with that hour, I can move on to other computer tasks that aren’t as difficult for me. Before I know it, the Mom’s Corner is written, one hour a day at a time, and I am very happy to have it done! This tactic could apply just as well to fifteen minutes a day as to an hour a day. Rather than being overwhelmed, spend fifteen minutes on the task and be encouraged by the progress you will make.

I want to motivate you in your desire to please the Lord Jesus by letting go of laziness and developing self-discipline. The Lord’s grace is available to us in this task, and His power will allow us to be successful. As you make self-discipline one of your goals, you will find great personal blessings, and you will also bless your husband and children. Next month we continue with more practical ways to move from laziness to self-discipline. If you have any stories or hints you want to pass along, please share them with me. They will likely fit well into this series and be a help to others.

From Lazy to Self-Disciplined – Part 2

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It would seem that most, if not all, of us have to battle that natural tendency to gravitate toward laziness. For some the tendency will be greater than for others, but it is a problem to some degree or another. Last month, I began the Mom’s Corner with a question from a mom recognizing that she was giving in to her laziness and asking for suggestions on how to build self-discipline into her life.

The beginning point for us as we move from laziness to self-discipline is to have a biblical perspective on both laziness and on self-discipline. Last month we started laying a biblical groundwork for why we would care about being self-disciplined. In one of the e-mail responses to the last Mom’s Corner, a lady shared a verse she likes that lends itself well to a biblical reason for diligence. Her verse is part of the description of the Proverbs 31 woman. “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:27). She isn’t lazy but rather self-disciplined. We could go a little further with that Proverbs 31 woman if we read the whole chapter. She is a great example to us of what a woman who doesn’t eat the bread of idleness is doing with her time. Since the Proverbs 31 woman had servant girls, she would have had the luxury of letting others do the work in her household. She could have been lazy if she had wanted to do so. Obviously, her servants were working as well, but the Proverbs 31 woman still chose to get up early and work hard.

Here is another passage I think will encourage us to know that when we follow the Lord Jesus obediently, we set aside laziness: “For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister. And we desire that every one of you do shew the same diligence to the full assurance of hope unto the end: That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises” (Hebrews 6:10-12). Look at these words and phrases from this passage: “labor of love,” “ministered to the saints,” “do minister,” “show the same diligence,” “be not slothful.” What we do in serving in our homes is a labor of love, and it is ministering. We are encouraged to be diligent and not to be slothful. It is our faith in our Lord that enables us to do what He has called us to do, and we are to be patient as we fulfill that ministry; we are not to always feel anxious for it to be done so we can then do what we want to do, but we are to find joy in the work itself.

After last month’s Mom’s Corner, a very dear friend who writes every single month and comments on each Corner, shared this with me:

“I have a verse I have kept in my room for years … ‘Arise … and be doing…’ This helps me in those moments of weariness or indecision … don’t just sit there and vegetate…” Martha

I e-mailed her to ask permission to use part of her e-mail in the Mom’s Corner. When she wrote back, she gave me much more information about the verse and why it was motivating to her. I felt the verse and her thoughts on it fit well into our study, so I am including them here for you. This is the whole verse and where it is found: “Of the gold, the silver, and the brass, and the iron, there is no number. Arise therefore, and be doing, and the LORD be with thee” (1 Chronicles 22:16). Here is what Martha wrote:

“David spent the later part of his life laying aside the necessary building materials and resources that his son would need in continuing the work of the Lord in building the temple. David’s challenge to arise and be doing was the cry of a life that had been lived with purpose to please and honor God. It was for this reason that he could challenge his son to arise and be doing that work of the Lord. From 1 Chronicles 22:16, we get the feeling that there was no holding back in what David contributed toward his son building the temple.

“As we see in 2 Samuel 24:24, he would not give unto the Lord that which cost him nothing. ‘And the king said unto Araunah, Nay; but I will surely buy it of thee at a price: neither will I offer burnt offerings unto the LORD my God of that which doth cost me nothing. So David bought the threshingfloor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver’ (2 Samuel 24:24). David himself worked tirelessly at this task that he would not finish but would pass on for his son to complete in his son’s lifetime. Would to God that we would all see the work that God has given us to accomplish for His Name’s sake (the raising of our children and supporting of our husbands) with the same sense of devotion and dedication that David did. There would be a difference in the continuing work of God in the lives of our children as they take our place for Christ in this world.” Martha

I liked and was challenged by the insights Martha pulled out of these Scriptures. If you would like to read the complete account of these situations, you can find them in 1 Chronicles 22:1-19 and 2 Samuel 24:1-25. A huge motivation for us as mothers is to evaluate the outcomes of our decisions in our children’s lives. David had been busy setting the example before his son Solomon of doing what the Lord wanted him to do. He invested of his time, resources, and energy. He was the epitome of ”arise and be doing for the Lord.” When David told Solomon to arise and be doing, Solomon had not only the direction but also the model from his father to help him accomplish the task. What about our lives? Do we ”arise and be doing”? Are we modeling for them a lazy lifestyle or a self-disciplined one? We are continually examples our children will follow. Are we positive role models, or are we negative ones?

Martha looks at that verse on her wall at times when we would say she has every right to vegetate—times of indecision or weariness. Her thoughts turn to the Lord and what He wants for her time and her life. When she gets up and begins doing, the indecision is erased. If she is weary, the Lord will renew her energy, or He will lighten her load. He wants her focus on Him, not on herself.

I know from personal experience that I end up being blessed when I get up and get busy rather than wasting my time. That time God has given me is a gift, and He has given me stewardship of it. I can be a good and faithful servant with my time, or I can fritter it away with nothing to show for it.

We are still laying the groundwork for moving from being lazy to self-disciplined. My prayer is that as you think about these verses and evaluate your life, you will be motivated to set laziness and time wasters aside, and that you will want to spend yourself in His service. Since we will be moving into the practical ways we can grow from laziness to self-discipline, I would love to hear your stories and be able to share them in this series.