Category Archives: Dad’s Corner

Did Not Hear You

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A reason one might not hear someone is that they didn’t say anything. These days, greeting children as they walk to school usually doesn’t even get a smile or a nod in response to our cheerful “Good morning.” Nothing. Okay maybe they have been instructed for safety sake to not talk to strangers, but even teenagers? We are an unwanted intrusion into their space.

Everyone with a phone is hammered with all sorts of unsolicited texts, emails, and phone calls. Yes, and there is a special word created for that. Has all of that hardened normal person-to-person communication? Likely, at a minimum it has had some affect. 

With all of the communication noise today, it is vitally important to not let that deaden us to heart-felt sharing with those we love. First of course is dedicated prayer time with our God first thing every morning no distractions, quiet and purposeful. Next, is communication with our beloved wives, our soul mates whom we have vowed to love and cherish. Do you have a date-night and other times of quality heart-to-heart dialog? Then also communication with our children. Life is crazy busy and unless our children are in trouble, they might not get good talking time with their dad. I had weekly one-on-one talking time with each child as they were growing up in our home. I loved that time, and it was so good. 

Communication is costly in time, but it is so vitally important for any relationship that is valuable to you to maintain. It isn’t just “gonna happen.” It takes being purposeful. I plead with you my brothers — make it happen. 

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29).

What You Love

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Teri and I were putting cardboard in the recycling bin next to a man unloading cardboard from his pickup. He bent over and picked up a carton that he had dropped. To my surprise, he kissed it and said “This is the best beer there is!” Even more surprising, the haul of cardboard was from his “church”! That local church has a liquor license, and I have been told it sells a lot of alcohol. 

Brothers, I pray you aren’t using alcohol. I’ve heard all sorts of justifications for Christian’s using it, but I plead with you to consider it poison. I’ve seen so many ruined lives as a result of it. 

In the Old Testament we read, “And the LORD spake unto Aaron, saying, Do not drink wine nor strong drink, thou, nor thy sons with thee, when ye go into the tabernacle of the congregation, lest ye die: it shall be a statute for ever throughout your generations” (Leviticus 10:8-9). The example that Aaron could not come near to God if he had been drinking was enough for me to never want to touch the stuff. As New Testament believers the Bible tell us this, “And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen” (Revelation 1:6). I desire to be close to my God always. If the Old Testament priests were forbidden from wine and strong drink when coming into His presence, alcohol would not be beneficial in my relationship with the Lord either.

Another thing to consider is even if you were able to control your use of alcohol to moderation, your example of using it, gives the green light to your children. What you might control, they likely will do in excess. I’m guessing you have seen examples of that already.”All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any (1 Corinthians 6:12).

Easy or Difficult

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Surely you’ve known people who have spent many thousands of dollars for a brand new car and then been highly disappointed in its reliability, and/or gas mileage. Some makes/models are just expensive new junk (in my opinion) and will underperform even low expectations. Likely, under reported, is the owner’s acknowledging how his driving habits and lack of routine maintenance might be significant contributing factors in said disappointment. There are some striking similarities to Christianity!

How satisfied are you in being a Christian? Has it “performed” for you the way you were hoping? What were your expectations and even more important, what did you base those expectations on? 

Did you expect it to be free and easy, and it has turned out to be costly and difficult? 

Were you over-sold or under-informed? What did you base your expectations on? What a friend said? A good preacher? A huckster? The Word of God? 

Are you in the Word daily seeking to know your Lord and understand how He wants you to live? Are you worshipping in a biblically sound fellowship and reaching the lost around you? 

“Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul” ((Matthew 16:24-26)?

Wants Over Needs

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We have had Arnold the cat for almost ten years now and lately he has gotten worse in scratching the furniture. So Teri bought some cat treats for training. He loves those treats (understatement). She gives him treats when he scratches on his scratching post instead of the furniture. The problem is he has become obsessed with the treats. Now we are dealing with that problem far more than the furniture scratching. 

Isn’t that the way it can be with the children too? It might be food or something fun that becomes a fixation that the child’s life revolves around. Sigh. They aren’t happy without it, and they share that lack of happiness with us. Hmmm. Thinking about it, are we any different? In one sense yes. We know better regarding a temptation, but we still give in. So isn’t it then worse for us because we know better. 

Our minds are to rule our bodies for the good of our bodies and God’s glory. Sadly the flesh can scream loudly to get what it wants. But God has given us His Spirit to direct our lives. 

“For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace” (Romans 8:5-6).

“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16).

Low or High View

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There would be quite the excitement in a town if President Trump was going to visit. You and I know that people would dress up if they were going to be part of any meetings with him. When in the company of someone we want to honor, we dress up to show our respect for who they are. 

I just engaged a man at the gas station. He was wearing a suit. I asked him if he was just at a funeral. He had been. We dress up to show our respect for the dead. 

Can you imagine being in the presence of almighty God, the One Who died to pay for our sins? What respect is due to our God compared to the President of our country or a loved one who has died? Lightyears more I think. If we have a high view, a respectful, honoring view of our God, we honor Him when we come to worship Him, including how we dress. Isn’t it horribly sad then when those coming to worship the God Who saved them aren’t willing to show respect in how they dress? 

It doesn’t take long once you have visited a church to establish a thought on whether the church has a low or high view of God. Is He a “good ole boy, the man upstairs” or the most holy, righteous God of the universe?

“Exalt the LORD our God, and worship at his holy hill; for the LORD our God is holy” (Psalms 99:9).

Psalms

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Several years ago the Lord convicted me that even though I read the Psalms each Bible read-through, I needed even greater familiarity with them. So I began an aggressive Psalms reading plan in addition to my normal, daily Bible reading. I have come to LOVE the Psalms and how it affirms the Old and New Testament truths in a beautiful personal, poetic style. 

One brief example was from reading Psalm 106 last week. Recently, I highlighted in Seriously how God commanded Israel against mingling with the nations because it would cost them their children. I did not use this verse, but when I read it after that Seriously I saw how it affirmed what happened when Israel ignored God’s command to destroy nations.

“They did not destroy the nations, concerning whom the LORD commanded them: But were mingled among the heathen, and learned their works. And they served their idols: which were a snare unto them. Yea, they sacrificed their sons and their daughters unto devils, And shed innocent blood, even the blood of their sons and of their daughters, whom they sacrificed unto the idols of Canaan: and the land was polluted with blood. Thus were they defiled with their own works, and went a whoring with their own inventions. Therefore was the wrath of the LORD kindled against his people, insomuch that he abhorred his own inheritance” (Psalms 106:34-40).

Did you notice the progression? Mingled, learned, served = cost them their children. 

Each time I read in Psalm 106, it breaks my heart to think of the Christian families who are following a similar path to Israel. God’s people are the same through the ages. He said be separate otherwise you will become like them. What about you and your family? Are you separate from the world, or do you fill your eyes and minds with what entertains the world? Are you on that destructive path?

Spring is Here

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Spring is here mostly. In Kansas it will vary one day to the next, but things are beginning to bud out. If you are like me, you are tackling yard maintenance while it is cool and before it gets out of hand. One thing I’m installing because it is greatly needed, is edging to separate mulch from grass. Without a barrier, keeping the grass out of the mulch and the mulch out of the grass is extremely difficult (at best). Last year I tried to weed eat the grass back, and I either scalped the grass or shot mulch everywhere. (I understand some of you are better weed eaters than me.) Barriers to provide separation are a very good thing.  

That is true spiritually as well. I’m grieved by many who imply they aren’t tempted by the weeds of the world. They think they can keep the weeds back from crossing into their lives. But from simple observation, it ain’t working too well for them. The spiritual slide is slow, and seems to be unnoticed by them, or they might make some drastic changes. 

In Deut. 7, God gave instructions for what Israel was to do when it went into the land the Lord was giving them. They were to remove all the people and everything that would draw their hearts away from God and to the wickedness of the world. “But thus shall ye deal with them; ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire” (Deuteronomy 7:5). The God Who created us knows our nature and how easily we are drawn to wickedness. Think about it. Here was a people who witnessed firsthand God’s power and holiness. If anyone could have stood strong, resisted evil, and been steadfast in love and devotion to God, it would have been them. But no. God said they weren’t to allow the influences around them or it would pull them away from Him. 

Then how can we, my brothers, think we are strong enough to resist the pull of the world, if we don’t have a clear separation between us and it. Oh the addicting affect of the world on not only us but on our children. The worst of the worst is then losing our children to the world. 

The Worst Idea

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It is common today for Christian men to want an accountability partner to help them improve in some area(s). They look for someone they trust and who will tell them “like it is.” Beyond improvement, some might want an accountability partner to help in conquering a sin that holds them in bondage. They see accountability as the key to killing a hidden sin. Given the right goals and people involved, accountability  can be a good thing, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17).

However, I’m encouraging you to NEVER ask your wife to be an accountability partner. She is your helpmeet so that might make it seem like an accountability partner would be acting as a helpmeet. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18.) But she is also to submit to you. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). In an accountability role, that person is to critically watch and evaluate you so as to confront and challenge you as needed. That is not submission. It is authority and control. Better to find a strong brother in Christ whom you are willing to put in that role in your life rather than turning biblical, god given roles upside down. 

The worst of the worst is when a dad struggling with lust and/or p**n asks his wife to hold him accountable. That information from husband to wife has got to be the supreme injury to a wife’s heart – a terrible burden for her to bear. It is almost guaranteed to put jealousy/distrust in her from then on. Dad must deal with it, but to heap that on his wife, is a tortuous shredding of her heart. Brothers, go to your pastor, elder, or someone like that, locally, who can get in your face. Be determined to have victory, but don’t go to your wife. That is a guaranteed train wreck.

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16).

Excitement of the Hunt 

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Most official hunting seasons are over and fishing season hasn’t begun. This is, to the sadness of many guys since it means no more excitement for a bit. I know a couple men who appear to “live” for hunting and fishing. It is their joy and passion. Of course there are a few who need the meat to supplement feeding the family, but for most, it is simply the excitement/passion of the hunt. Hunting and fishing can be expensive and time consuming, but the gleam in their eyes and the smile on their face when they talk about it, shows it is worth it. Soon however, the thrill of the trophy animal hunt (or fishing) fades unless there is something dead, stuffed and mounted, hanging above the fireplace. So they are out, after it, again.

Consider for a moment channeling that passion, investment, and skill into hunting/fishing for men. These men would quickly find the earthly excitement of the “kill” pales compared to a heavenly joy that is beyond understanding of seeing new life in Christ. Oh brothers, if they could see their longed-for physical hunting trip is nothing compared to seeing a new believer experiencing the joy of the Lord.

Here is a personal example from a few minutes ago. We had to run to Walmart to pick up a few things. While walking in, I cast a couple of lures, but no bites. Then I saw two cult missionaries walking toward me. I greeted them, and we began talking. They were incredibly nice young men, committed to their cause. I am sure we each had a goal in mind for our conversation. They listened politely as I pleaded with them to get into God’s Word and seek Who Jesus is and what He says about salvation. My only goal/hope was to simply put a rock in their shoe of something they might give further consideration to. That is the my joy and passion. Why not give it a try?

My brothers, hunting-and-fishing-for-the-souls-of-men season is open year round. “And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:19). On top of that, your involvement pleases your Lord and Savior.

Embracing a Cactus

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I believe the general consensus of someone who would embrace a cactus could be summarized with the word “stupid.” That would make as much sense as building a campfire on one’s lap to stay warm. There are many things that a person with normal intelligence is smart enough not to do. Then why do so many men succumb to adulterous affairs that have such painful results? Obviously those are only the ones who get caught. How many “fly” under the radar. Yet, God misses nothing. 

Just because you are a homeschooling family that identifies with Jesus Christ, and hopefully involved in a church, doesn’t mean you are not hugging a cactus to some degree. Oh my brothers, are you playing with fire? 

“Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent” (Proverbs 6:27-29).

How careful are you around women at work, at church, or when out and about? Are you cultivating lusts by what you watch or read or by your thoughts, thinking it’s harmless and everyone watches this stuff? The scariest words in Scripture to me are: “God gave them up/over.” Realize that at some point, God may say “Okay, if that is what you want, I’ll give you over to it.” (Romans 1:24, 26, 28) At that point, it is too late. If David, a man after God’s own heart can fall, anyone can fall if continuing in wrong choices. 

“And when he had removed him, he raised up unto them David to be their king; to whom also he gave testimony, and said, I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will” (Acts 13:22).