Category Archives: Child Training

Double Blessing

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Remember that when we stand before the Lord He will judge our actions AND our motives. We can do everything good from good or bad motives. May the driving desire of our heart be to please Him, the Own Who purchased us with His blood.  “No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier” (2 Timothy 2:4). (That verse is a reminder to me, mounted above the framed painting of a historic, helmeted, medieval soldier hanging at the end of our hallway. I see it many times a day.)

We read His Word to know Him and how to live for Him. That is a double blessing. We please Him and have assurance of our salvation. “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God” (1 John 5:13). We don’t read Scripture for points, unless our motivation is wrong. “We love him, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

One brother, not only encouraged his family but his church family to read through the Bible, and it was a blessing. “A year ago I encouraged our congregation to participate with me reading through the Bible for the year 2025. We had a good participation, even youth as young as 13 participated. This has been a real blessing. We are now doing 2026 also. We planned (what I called) Grand Ole Bible reading Finale Lunch and games next month, focusing largely on the young people and a way to encourage them to continue reading through the Bible in 2026. Everyone of the youth that signed up for 2025 completed reading through the Bible. This is very exciting! I find the more I read it the more I desire more of it.”

God desires to use each of us. First, in our family, but then in every contact and relationship. Be salt my brothers. Be salt. (Matthew 5:13)

“But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4).

Shrink or Grow

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This is the age of an obesity pandemic. I understand. I love to eat tasty things. It is a war that I’m determined to fight. Have you noticed how skilled we are at excuses that allow for partaking of things usually harmful for us. As we have touched on, God’s Word is nourishing for our souls and is needful daily for growth. Yet how the excuses poor forth for why it can’t/won’t happen. However, once the habit is set, it takes little effort to sustain it. It is not too late to begin your read through the Bible this year. 

One dad wrote after the last Seriously. Joseph said, “My wife and I are currently on a 4 month reading schedule. Reading larger portions helps the whole to stick together better. We are nourished by full bites rather than by crumbs.” That might take 40-60 minutes a day depending on your reading speed. However, I’m confident that for the average family to set aside 20 to 30 minutes a day for a one year reading plan is very doable. The rewards in the parents lives are high and even higher for the children. 

Printable plans are available on the internet. Many churches will offer them to their members and lastly you could target 4 chapters a day, 3 if long ones and that should work for you. 

“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen” (2 Peter 3:18).

If you would like to but are struggling in some way, and I can encourage you personally, write me back. 

It Adds Up

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Life, and the constant stream of decisions we dads face, fascinates me. Even what we consider to be small decisions add up to be big ones over time. We just didn’t realize we were making them incrementally. 

Consider a few examples. Someone brings donuts to work. You’ve had breakfast, but a couple of your favorite donuts won’t hurt. Lunch out (only a few $ right?) is much more appealing than packing a boring lunch. After dinner, your sons were playing their new video game you bought them for Christmas and begged you to keep playing and not have to stop for family Bible time. So you let them play. Besides you could catch up on few things you wanted to do. Later, watching the news was too tempting to pass up with all that is going on in the world, even though you knew you likely wouldn’t get up for your Bible time. 

Decision by decision, the course is being set for yourselves and your children, your health and spiritual growth. Self discipline is foundational. If you don’t rule yourself well, someone/something else will. Food addictions, strangling debt, health crisis like diabetes, obesity, and heart disease are killing us. We are investing and withdrawing daily, how and what? Will our Lord be pleased? 

“And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul” (Mark 8:34-37)?

CHRISTMAS DECORATING

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“If someone walked into your home this Christmas season, would they know by your decorations that you were celebrating the birth of your Savior, Jesus Christ?” Many years ago, this was a question asked of the congregation by our pastor. Upon hearing this statement, our whole perspective on Christmas decorating changed. “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him” (Colossians 3:17).

Prior to this, our Christmas decorating reflected what we thought looked nice and Christmassy. No thought was given to the importance of visibly making Christ’s birth the central theme of our decorations. The nativity was a part of our Christmas decorating. However, our decorations were also menagerie of items that had been given to us through the years. Snowmen, reindeer, and stockings were sometimes themes of these decorations. “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things” (Philippians 4:8). This verse was good encouragement for us in leaving behind the worldly trappings of Christmas decorating.

DECORATIONS THAT FOCUS ON JESUS

That question challenged us to reevaluate the Christmas decorations we put up. Was the birth of Jesus evident, even at a casual glance? Would someone else, who didn’t know us, be able to see that we worship Jesus Christ? Would they know He was preeminent in our hearts and home? We realized a guest would observe some evidence of Christ since we had a very nice nativity set. However, the whole feeling of our Christmas decorating was closer to what the world thinks of when they think of Christmas than it was a celebration of the birth of Christ. We began purging our decorations to eliminate the ones we did not feel fit with the emphasis we wanted to have—celebrating the birth of Jesus.

The weeding-out part was easy except when there was sentimental attachment to an item. At that point, I would think about what I wanted my children’s hearts endeared to through years of putting up Christmas decorations. Did I want them excited about pulling out the reindeer from the Christmas box or delighted about opening the little glass nativity that sits on a mirror? Where would their joy be—in the cute little snowman or the wall plaque that says, “Jesus is the Reason for the Season”? The items that had heart attachment but no longer fit with our new decorating scheme were easier to let go of as I focused my mind on Christ being the theme.

I have to admit that, even with thinking right thoughts about eliminating decorations we no longer wanted to use, there were a few things that stayed in the boxes rather than coming out for the first couple of years. I simply couldn’t get rid of them. Finally a year came when the heart attachments were truly broken. Those items were pitched in the trash. “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:1-2).

We also began to pray for the Lord to show us where to find decorations that would have Him be the focus. What exactly would those decorations look like? The acquiring of replacement decorations was actually hard since so many Christmas decorations had nothing to do with the story of the birth of Christ.

It was just a year or so later we found a fireplace mantle garland with a large ornament hanging from the middle of it that said, “Name Above All Names.” There were smaller, scroll-shaped ornaments hanging on the sides with words on them such as, “Truth,” “Bread of Life,” “Emmanuel.” It was perfect for our new Christmas decorating theme. This became the focal point of our Christmas decorating, with our nativity set sitting on the mantle right above the “Name Above All Names.” 

Each year we prayed and looked, the Lord provided two or three Christ-centered decorations. We rejoiced in God’s goodness to give us decorations that kept our minds on His birth during the Christmas season.

CHANGED MY OUTLOOK ON DECORATING

The change in our Christmas decorating filled my heart with joy. I loved the excitement in our children’s eyes as they pulled out their favorite decorations from the Christmas storage boxes each year. Every item put our thoughts on Jesus Christ in some way. There were no more mixed messages being sent to our children. When a guest entered our home at Christmas, he no longer wondered what Christmas meant to the Maxwell family. He saw Jesus Christ everywhere he looked.

With Christmas fast approaching, may Jesus be known to your children even by your decorations. May you use them to draw your children’s hearts into a deeper love for Jesus as they experience the excitement of getting out those Christmas decorations that remind them of His birth. May your decorations also bring joy to your heart because they encourage you, your family, and any guests in your home to reflect on the magnificent miracle of the birth of our Savior.

Easy Bridge

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I spent two hours with a man who was doing some work for us. As we talked, he shared his story with me. He grew up attending church with his family. The church had a band. As a young teen he learned to play the electric bass for the church band and along with that to love contemporary Christian music. A high school buddy had a small rock band and invited him to join. He told him that his dad wouldn’t agree to it. His friend suggested he lie about it, which he did. He ended up playing with the group for ten years, loving the music and the culture that went with it. He is covered with tattoos and had large plugs/gauges in his ear lobes. He now regrets all of that and is in the costly process of removing them. “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:28).

Contemporary Christian music is, in general, a bridge to the world’s music and the life that goes with it. What the world’s music and its stars promote is easily embraced.

“But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy” (1 Peter 1:15-16).

What a Gift

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What might be the best and most precious gift that your children could give you, Dad, this Christmas (or at any time)? It’s worth is beyond measure, and yet they could still afford it. Sadly, it is most often given to their friends. It’s possible they never considered it a gift you would want if you haven’t expressed or shown interest in it. There are some dads who wouldn’t want it because they wouldn’t want what comes with it. 

“My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways” (Proverbs 23:26). The dad in Proverbs is asking for his son’s heart This is asking for the center of the child’s emotions and desires and that the son would be willing to follow the dad’s example. But, Dad, oh, the responsibility you bear. Is your life one that is worthy of your son’s following? It is one thing for us to think it, but would the Lord Jesus agree? Of course no dad is perfect, but have you set your heart and mind on things above with Christ? Do you love the Word and are you seeking to live it? “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:1-2).

Oh, to love our children and the Lord Jesus, others, and to love NOT the things of the world. (1 John 2:15) That is where the joy is my brothers. 

Have a Good Answer

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I’ve had a couple of people give me great (bad) examples for this Seriously. I had engaged each of them and as we were having a friendly discussion, I asked if they knew where they would spend eternity. They answered with enthusiasm “heaven.” Then I asked them why they believed that. They each sort of shrugged their shoulders and didn’t have a good response. 

What if a coworker, or your eight year old, asked you those questions? Would you have answers that are biblical and lead them to eternal life? 

  • We are all sinners deserving death and hell. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).
  • We are not saved by good works or being a “good person.” Any good we do is simply the RESULT of being in Christ, NOT what earns us a place in Christ. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:8-10).
  • “And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel” (Mark 1:15).

“For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:3-4).

Innocent Fun

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It is that time of the year. As the country and “church at large” continue to slide, we are observing the preparation for the high holy day of wickedness to outdo previous years. The neighborhood scenes depicting violent crimes, horror, gruesomeness, and death increase in number and appearance of authenticity. Are you kidding me? Innocent fun? 

Our God conquered death. Death is the enemy and nothing to be glamorized or celebrated as cool. “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good” (Romans 12:9). Brother we are to ABHOR evil. We are to “detest utterly” (Strongs g0655). It’s not cute, innocent, or fun. Oh God, have mercy. 

“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter” (Isaiah 5:20).

Right Thinking

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Thirty years ago, I wrote the following October Mom’s Corner. At the age of 70, there are no longer children in my home, but the reality of this scenario hasn’t changed. A young, homeschool mom described it to me earlier this week from her life and home. God uses the situations we find difficult for our growth and other’s good. I hope this story from my past will encourage you and spur you to look for those right thoughts when facing discouraging situations.

How Do I Think?

Resting in the quiet of the afternoon following a turbulent morning of peacemaking between Joseph (6), John (4), and Anna (2), I was cuddled up in my recliner chair. A heavy heart, jumbled mind, Bible, and notebook were my companions as my pen titled the page, “Thinking Right Thoughts When Discouraged and Worn Out by My Children’s Unkindness to Each Other.” Five “thoughts” soon filled the recently empty lines.

Number One 

Every mother faces these same problems. Do you take any comfort in knowing my children fuss with each other? As I prayed about the situation, God reminded me every child is just like mine, and every mother must deal with the same things. None of us enjoys having children squabble. I need to change my mindset to expect the unkindness and be thrilled if any kind deed comes from them, rather than expect the kindness and be discouraged when it doesn’t happen.

Number Two

God is developing my character as much as He is working in their lives. We say this often, but I have to keep telling it to myself. God is as much concerned with my learning to be patient, kind, loving, and gentle as He is in my children developing these qualities. What frequent opportunities He gives me to learn them, practice them, and even fail at them (thereby gaining humility and therefore God’s grace through my failures).

Number Three

God is developing my faith, as I trust Him to do this work since I can’t myself. I can consistently train and teach my children. I can be an example to them, but it is God who works in their lives just as He works in mine. Therefore, my eyes must be on my Lord and my faith rooted in His working in their lives in His time. As a mother with both older and younger children I have proof of this as I have seen Nathan, Christopher, and Sarah develop more godly attitudes toward each other as they have grown up.

Number Four

God is teaching me to rest in Him since my strength and will cannot bring it to pass. If I could, I would certainly force my children to have godly attitudes toward each other, and I do try. The truth is I can command some measure of outward conformity to the standard, but I cannot change a selfish heart. God is the One who does that, but He wants me to rest in Him as I wait for His timing. I can even trust that through the bickering He is working good in my life and theirs. 

Number Five

My greatest goal–even more than my goal to have a peaceful home and loving children–needs to be to teach my children to love God. Often the squabbles in our home make me focus more on peace and quiet than on the goal of turning my children’s hearts toward loving their heavenly Father. As we focus on loving God, certainly a by-product of that, in time, will be children who have servant’s hearts and are willing to give up their rights.

I find I can get so overpowered by thoughts and feelings of discouragement that I have to sit down and write truth out, like I did here, to bring my perspective back where it should be. Then I have to control my mind to think these right thoughts when situations arise that trigger discouragement. In the midst of the emotions it is hard for me to do.

Usually, the change in thinking comes when I get down on my knees, cry out to God for His forgiveness for my self-focus, and ask for His help in my thinking truth. I pray each of you will use these situations you face with your children to see the benefits He is working for both you and them.

18 17 16 15 14

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The lift-off of the Space Shuttle was of great interest for us when we lived in Florida. We could see the smoke trail as it headed into orbit even from across the state. According to NASA the average cost to launch a shuttle was over $400 million for fuel, manpower, and materials.  

The years are counting down until your children are launched in one way or another into life. The value of your investment into the lives of each of your children is beyond measure. The best of the best “fuel” needed in their lives is the Word of God fueling a love for Jesus. “Therefore I love thy commandments above gold; yea, above fine gold. Therefore I esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right; and I hate every false way” (Psalms 119:127-128).

Not only is the Word of God the best “fuel,” it provides the best guidance for the “project.” We haven’t been saved to have our “best life now”, but to love and serve our Lord Jesus Who loves us and redeemed us with His blood.

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” (Matthew 22:37).

And counting….