A Meek and Quiet Spirit – Some Real-Life Examples and Failures

It seems that I can’t let a year go by without a Mom’s Corner dealing with a wife’s need for a meek and quiet spirit. 1 Peter 3:4 says, “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

I wonder how many of us were born with meek and quiet spirits. I know I was not! This is something that God began pointing out in my life several years ago. He did this in what I considered a most unusual way. He began to make me aware of my interactions with my husband, viewing them as an outsider would.

Here are some things I heard myself saying to my husband:

“Honey, who was that on the phone? What did they want? Well, what did you say?”

“Steven, did you see what Joseph just did? No matter how many times I tell him he still does it.”

“Have you made a decision yet? I asked you about this on Monday, and I am feeling like I should know what we are going to do.”

I needed to learn, and am still in training, to have a meek and quiet spirit. Often a meek and quiet spirit, for me, would translate into a quiet mouth. If my husband chooses to share a phone conversation with me, I am pleased to have my curiosity satisfied. If he does not, it is good for me to trust God to give me information that I am interested in or might need to know. Should Steve forget to tell me something important, it may become known at some point. Then if he feels badly about having forgotten to tell me, it is a lesson from the Lord, not a controlling wife!

When Steve was home, I wanted him to be the one to correct the children. However, I also felt it my duty to point out what the children were doing that needed his attention. How much better it is when I am quiet. It is quite presumptive of me to think I know best what the children are doing that would need correction. This has been clearly illustrated to me during our evening Bible time. I wanted to keep telling the little children to be quiet, sit still, or perhaps put down a toy. You know what? My speaking to the child was as disruptive to our Bible time as what the child was doing. I found that if I would just sit very quietly with my mouth tightly closed, Steve would take care of anything that was a distraction to him. It is a great relief to not have to be “in charge” but just to sit and let my husband do what God has called him to.

It is a relief, but it is not easy! Everything within me so often wants to push, control, and some would say, nag. Usually, if I will be quiet, all will work out just fine the way Steve does it. The times it might not, it is so much better to have that realization come from the Lord and not from me.

Another area that has been difficult for me is to learn not to correct my husband in front of others–even sweetly. What does it matter if we did this thing on Monday or Wednesday night, as I would be prone to point out if he said the wrong one? I have discovered that, even if it does matter, it is better to be quiet and maintain our testimony than to correct my husband in public. There is seldom anything that important. Truly, if misinformation was given, I believe it would be better for my husband to call the person later and correct it than for me to have spoken up publicly.

Despite knowing I do not want to do this, as recently as Saturday morning this happened. Steve was driving a group of moms and girls from our church to a baby shower because of bad road conditions. I stepped into his conversation to clarify something I thought the ladies might misunderstand. Almost as quickly as the words were out of my mouth they seemed to shout back at me in accusation. I am glad, because I do want to learn these lessons. In my pride, I do not like to continually fail in something that is pretty cut and dried–don’t correct your husband in public, including in front of the children!

Something amazing has happened over these past three years that God has had me in this training course, Meek and Quiet Spirit 101. Steve’s love for me has grown. It has been so exciting for me to see God use an area where He showed me I needed to become obedient. He has poured out His blessing in a way I did not foresee.

May I encourage each of you who are wives to honor, respect, and love your husband by asking the Lord to teach you to have a meek and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in His sight. May we treat our husbands as our leaders and not be controlling. May it never be said by an outsider watching our interactions with our husbands, “I know she wears the pants in that home.”