Category Archives: Seriously

Out by the Curb

It is extremely important to know how we are to spend our time. Maybe, even more important is to know how we should not spend our time. I encourage you to take a tour of your house and look for “things” that waste time—yours and your family’s. What a blessing of productive time you will give your family if you move whatever time-wasting “things” you discover out to the curb.

Our time is priceless and limited. It takes courage to do the right thing.

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest” (Joshua 1:9).

A Great Guy

I met a great dad recently who was not a believer. As we talked I could tell he sincerely loved his family. I was surprised to hear him share how his early-teenage daughter, who attends public school, was beginning to walk down a “dark” path. She has begun back-talking both him and his wife. He was troubled by the ugly change in her.

I asked if they had ever thought about homeschooling. He said “Yes,” they had discussed it, but his wife was not onboard with the idea. That saddened my heart greatly.

Although homeschooling does not guarantee children will turn out great, may each of us be willing to do anything and everything possible toward that end. May we consider investing our time and resources in anything that may help our children to grow up to be responsible adults who love the Lord with all their hearts, souls, and minds.

Homeschooling is difficult, but so is life. May we give our all for their eternity—Jesus did. (BTW, if your wife is homeschooling, lavish on her your gratitude for her investment in the children.)

“Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).

Walk, Run, Embrace

Many of us parents are first-generation Christians. We are saved by the blood of Jesus from a love affair with the world and its impending consequences and are introduced to an abundant life. Sadly, many parents assume their children will also embrace Christ as they did. But why should they?

These children are growing up in a “blessed” environment—the result of the parents’ life in fellowship with their Lord. The children thus assume that is the way life naturally is—all good in Christ. The children have not experienced the darker side of life that most parents have, which makes Jesus even more desirable.

I am not saying these parents don’t care. They really do. They just assume wrongfully that their children will follow Christ because the parents do. Sadly, they are wrong. Some walk away from Christ because He was never theirs. They had the blessings without knowing the “Blesser.”

What place does Jesus have in your home? Is He preeminent? What is central in your living room and family time? How are you serving and exercising the fruit of the Spirit? Live on the edge. Make Christ real.

“For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass” (James 1:23).

Creating What?

There is a huge difference between limiting and abstaining. Generally, we abstain from things that are detrimental or harmful or sin; no discussion, no rationalizing, end of subject! Well, at least it should be that way.

But what reasons do we choose for limiting something? Food is good, yet too much will lead toward gluttony and bad health. Sleep is good, but too much is slothful and will hurt our body. We have to have food and sleep, so we cannot abstain. Instead, we must learn to limit.

What about things such as video games, movies, TV, cartoons, and various sorts of entertainment that are not necessary (or even beneficial) for life in Christ? For some families those are the things that become a great struggle. Children love those sorts of things. (Okay, many adults do, too.) Even if parents may be discriminating in choosing or limiting such things that may not be overtly evil, their children will seldom exercise the same discretion.

We have observed parents who want their children to be happy (and in the process may not realize that they are trading away godly for merely happy). So they will choose to limit the child to metered amounts of movies, cartoons, or video games each week often as a reward for good behavior. They do not realize, however, that they are actually doing far more damage than any marginal amount of hoped-for good with this approach.

In business, the saying is “scarcity creates demand.” What parents will find with this direction is that they are creating huge appetites in their children for these things by this approach. The children know that if “it” was actually “bad” they wouldn’t be allowed to do it, but since it is merely limited, it must be good. Eventually, they will be able to make their own decisions, and these will include few if any limits. 

Our lives are filled with boundaries, and it began in the Garden when God said don’t eat of that tree. The world does not want limits placed on the flesh. “Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.” (Philippians 3:19)

Steve

Who’s Got Your Back?

Nathan started his IT consulting business almost 20 years ago. In the beginning he had no one to back him up if he couldn’t fix a computer problem, but with the Lord’s direction he managed. Anna attained her A+ certification a few years ago and, in addition to learning programming, has been taking help desk calls from some of Nathan’s clients. Nathan is her backup should Anna need second-level support.

When Teri and I began having children, we had no one to turn to for child-rearing advice. We were also just beginning our walk with the Lord Jesus, and after we moved away from that first church we did not have godly counsel. The Lord met every need, however, as we sought His face and counsel.

Some families write and sadly share how alone they feel in their walk with the Lord and in raising their children. If that is your situation, may I encourage you to accept and embrace it. It will make your relationship with the Lord Jesus all the sweeter as you trust and rest in Him. We have every good thing in Him.

“Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 124:8)

Steve

Ugly Word

Many of us rationalize, despise, and take great effort to avoid self-discipline. I have struggled with it in various areas. For most of my life I bit my fingernails. I agree that it’s a pretty disgusting habit. But I am free of it now.

In junior high I took comfort in food when our family fell apart. I know, no excuse, and it did not help. Eating more than my body required has been an up-and-down lifelong struggle for me. I told Teri I want to beat it, and as long as I have breath, I’m not giving up.

Where are your battles? Are you determined to fight a good fight? It’s not too late. Pick one area at a time and conquer it. 

“Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.” (Philippians 4:5)

Steve

Inner Compass

Parents have to decide what they will encourage, discourage, limit, or restrict in their children’s lives as they disciple them in Christ Jesus. It starts with what the child will eat or not eat and over time includes activities and influences. If we do not take a position, our children will often interpret that as a blanket endorsement, which will produce disastrous fruit to be harvested later in the child’s life.

It is not enough to say “no” or “that isn’t according to our standards.” It takes careful, biblical explanations for each member of the family to either own or reject something for life. When so many today, even in the “church,” embrace things that are (at best) not edifying, the peer pressure our children will face to compromise is huge.

We dads first must live the example and disciple our children to look to God’s written Word and to walk in the Spirit. Those two will always be in agreement and never let us down. Our children must own the leading of the Spirit and delight in following Him.

Paraphrasing Andrew Murray: “Teach them to live for giving joy to their heavenly Father and in fear of grieving Him.”

“That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.” (Romans 8:4-6)

Steve

Confusion as to Who Does What

You are what you eat. That means the quality of food you ingest will have great impact on your health. As with the body, so with the mind: You are what you mentally ingest. Media such as reading, music, videos, and video games have greater effects on a person than most people realize.

You reap what you sow. What is being sown into your children’s lives? Be sure you know because a harvest is coming. “For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” (Galatians 6:8)

Steve

Seriously Fast November 14th

It has been a year since we had a Seriously Dad’s fast day. I’ve wanted to have another one, but I have not been able to set aside a day to pray for those who sign up. I decided it would be better to schedule a fast day, even if I couldn’t pray for your requests individually. Therefore, we won’t have a signup for it.

I will join you in fasting and pray generally for you. Will you lift up other dads who are fasting as well? This will be a no food fast all day Monday, November 14th. I encourage you to take part.

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land” (2 Chronicles 7:14).

Steve

That’s Not the Way We Began

Some businesses are in trouble. Their current core values are not the ones they began with (i.e., Enron).

Some marriages are in trouble. They loved each other in the beginning.

Some children are in trouble. That wasn’t the way their parents began raising them. 

Our country is now in deep trouble. Yet, it was founded on Christian values.

Anything good will receive great amounts of negative pressure to compromise. Even though something begins well, it will usually drift over time. To stay the course year after year, however, takes courage and determination to do the right thing. Good values that are founded upon, must be values that are lived.

Life in Christ will take the same diligence. Satan wants you to compromise. He knows that if you are not in the Word every day, you will drift. If you are not listening to the Spirit and living what you are reading, you will drift. Will you cling to the blessed Lord Jesus, the Anchor of our souls, or will you be tossed to and fro? It comes down to your choice.

Hold fast. Your own life and the lives of your wife and children are far too precious not to.

“Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:21-22)

Steve