Category Archives: Child Training

Blessings become Curses

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Parents who love their children delight in blessing them. However, have you noticed how consistently doing the same kind thing for someone can (usually does) cause that blessing to become expected? Then if for some reason that blessing is not done, the blesser (you) is resented instead of appreciated. If that continues, over time bitterness is likely. Oh, how quickly the flesh develops an entitlement mentality.

Some symptoms your child is developing an entitlement mentality might be: ungratefulness, laziness, and resentment toward you. Real gratitude is deeper than him replying with a simple “thank you.” Observe how he responds when an expected blessing is not forthcoming, or you ask him to do an additional job? 

“Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled” (Hebrews 12:15).

Finding a Church

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You find a church you want to try that lines up with the doctrine that God has impressed upon your heart. Then you begin attending. Be careful not to have the expectation of changing them. Expect to see weaknesses. Is there is a spirit of love for souls and the desire to grow in Christ?

In time, seek some private time with the Pastor to get to know his heart and where he believes God is leading the assembly. 

A church family is vitally important and therefore justifies a great amount of prayer. Know where the Lord is leading and don’t just settle because it is convenient. 

“Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved” (Acts 2:47).

(A requested problem topic)

Your Choice – Bumpy or smooth

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If you could choose between driving on a smooth road or a potholed-cankered one, which would you choose? Since smooth would be the expected answer, why do you think so many “homeschooling homes’” are so “chaotically-bumpy” when they could be “smooth?”

The natural tendency of the flesh is toward disorder, and it takes effort to make things orderly.  Order enables getting things done (productivity) and teaches self control. 

Smoothing the bumps is worthwhile. You get to choose—peace and productivity or unproductive chaos. Sounds like a great time for you to lead and take the first step in helping your wife. Managers of Their Homes is a tool that will be helpful. Remember you are responsible for the level of productivity and peace in your home. I plead with you my Brother, come alongside your wife and help her. Your wife and children will thank you. We can help you.

“… having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly” (Titus 1:6). 

Your Preference?

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If you had to pick one of the two, would you prefer a proud son or one ignorant? I believe that most would naturally prefer proud. Why? Ignorant children embarrass parents. I’ve never met a parent who was happy his son was stupid and didn’t know very much. Yet, let our son win a competition, and we are strutting around with our chests stuck out and thrilled beyond measure. 

I believe that scenario is indicative that we are a proud lot ourselves. We don’t want to be embarrassed by our children, and we take pride in their accomplishments. Brothers, if our children are proud, they get it from us. 

When is the last time you deeply repented and grieved over your pride? Pride is what caused Satan’s downfall. He had so much, and that wasn’t enough. He wanted God’s glory too. How quick are we to take credit for what the Lord has done? We have nothing to take pride in. May we glory in the Lord Jesus and Him crucified. 

“But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world” (Galatians 6:14).

How’s It Looking?

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Lamech lived 775 years and begat sons and daughters. We can assume there were many children, and likely, Lamech initially cared for all of them. His firstborn son was Noah. “Noah was a just man, perfect in his generation’s. Noah walked with God” (Genesis 5:9). Sadly, we can assume that all of Noah’s brothers and sisters were wicked, perished in the flood, and will spend eternity in hell. 

Tonight, at your evening meal, look closely upon each of your children. Which one (or more) would you be okay with knowing that child would spend eternity in destruction? I don’t believe any normal father would accept that possibility without doing all he could to prevent it. 

How well are you raising your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? How well does each child own the principle that every choice he makes carries with it a blessing or a curse? Is your deepest desire to love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength?

Brothers, your life is being imprinted on theirs. Do you like what you are seeing? I understand that impression isn’t the end of the story, but it is the beginning. 

“And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou fittest in thine house, and when thou wallets by the way, and when thou list down, and when thou rises up” (Deuteronomy 6:7).

Conflict

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I hate conflict and love unity. Is it possible you feel the same way? I will do whatever I can, without violating my conscience, to avoid strife and maintain unity. 

Whenever there is a spark of conflict, I try to remind myself of the root cause of contention before things escalate. “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom” (Proverbs 13:10). It takes two proud people for strife. Since I’m one of the two, I can immediately do something to quench the conflict – repent of my pride. Maybe not so easy, but it does work and is a good thing. 

“A man’s pride shall bring him low: but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit” (Proverbs 29:23).

(A requested problem topic)

A Serious Concern

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What might be a test of whether the average Christian believes in a literal hell with eternal suffering? 

Likely each of us know people (family?) we deeply care for who don’t appear to have a saving relationship with Christ. If you saw them about to be severely, painfully, and permanently maimed, you would immediately do everything possible to help them. 

Might our level of belief in a literal hell be measured by how much time we spend in prayer for them and our level of effort to reach them for Christ? It might come down to either we don’t love them or don’t believe in hell. 

“For a fire is kindled in mine anger, and shall burn unto the lowest hell, and shall consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of the mountains” (Deuteronomy 32:22).

“The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God” (Psalm 9:17).

Beneficial Versus Harmful?

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A healthy food item’s packaging proclaimed that it didn’t have 125 artificial ingredients and preservatives. Might that be similar to a person touting on his job resume that he never embezzled.

What we do with our time is far more critical than what we aren’t doing with it. How much are you seeking and learning of Christ?

“And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ; Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1:9-11). 

Sweet or Sour Fruit?

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What do you think might be the most crucial lesson in life? This lesson is so important that it was the first lesson God taught Adam and thus mankind.

I believe it to be that every choice has a result. (Likely, the second most important lesson is that we should choose consistent with God’s direction/will.) We just “closed the books” for 2019, and now would be a good time to ask yourself, “How’s it been working for you?” 

Consider the “fruit” you have sown, and project if you will be pleased with the resulting “harvest.” Have you been sowing seeds of righteousness in your life and your children’s? What appetites are you creating? Has your time been spent in edifying? Are you closer to the Lord Jesus, your wife, and your children than when 2019 began? Have you missed any days of personal and family Bible time? Are Bible times quality, engaging, and resulting in growth? 

“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16).

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” (Galatians 6:7).

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9). 

A tough nut to crack

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God could have sent His Son Jesus to earth at any point in time, with a giant comet or any other appropriate regalia for the King of king’s arrival. However, God chose a stable as His birthplace and parents who were under public suspicions of impropriety. Jesus had humble beginnings and a life characterized by humility. 

Yet, how often would you describe a brother in Christ, a Christian leader, or a pastor as humble? Today, humility is synonymous with weakness.  People admire others who assert themselves because no one “pushes them around.” 

Now consider whether others might describe us as humble. Have you noticed how everything within us (me/you?) knee-jerk reacts to anything that requires humility? But praise be to God for His all-sufficient, enabling grace should humility be the desire of our hearts and prayers. 

“… Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5).

Note: I just finished reviewing proof checks for reprinting two Moody books, Spring and Colorado. I had forgotten how much I love those Moody books. They encourage children in the Lord Jesus and the values of Scripture. I wish my children would have had them to read when they were young. Consider blessing your family with the whole set. I’ve never heard from a dad who was disappointed with those books. Blessings, Steve