The other night Steve gave Joseph, 6, and John, 4, a discipline that I didn’t want them to have. In addition, the little boys were missing playtime with Dad because they were refusing to comply with their discipline. I asked Steve to let them finish their discipline later. Steve felt strongly that Joseph and John should understand there were consequences for what they had done and the discipline shouldn’t be postponed. I commenced to help the boys, but this only made me unhappier with my husband. Steve could read my attitude even though I had not said anything. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him! Can you guess what the outcome was? Steve said he felt he could not please me since there are discipline issues that I want him to deal with, but when he does, I am not satisfied. He ended up unhappy with me, and I with him.
Later, as I reflected back in prayer over the situation, I was again made aware of how much I try to control what goes on in our home. Although my desire is to be a submissive wife, I am quick to jump into these situations and express myself vocally or by my attitudes and emotions. Wouldn’t it have been better if I had been supportive of my husband’s leadership in our home? How often I undermine him!
I see this area of supporting my husband as an opportunity to build my faith in God. Surely, God is big enough that He can influence Steve in his actions and decisions. Can I trust Him? Will I give way to fear, as 1 Peter 3:6 warns wives against, stepping in to try to take control? It is presumptive on my part to imagine that my way is God’s way and my husband’s is not.
1 Peter 3:3-4 says, “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” I have found that the more I have this meek and quiet spirit, the more peace I have in my heart. I am quick to explain something, justify a child’s action, or say what I think in a matter. If I will sit quietly and let my husband be in charge, I have chosen the path of submission rather than control.
The pride in my heart makes it difficult to go to Steve and ask his forgiveness when I fail in being submissive. It is much easier for me to justify myself than to admit being wrong. God’s way is to break down my pride and build humility in my life. This is accomplished by my failures if I deal with them properly.
Steve is gracious and encouraging to me as God works in my life. It has taken more than twenty years of being married for me to begin to understand this vital truth in God’s Word about a wife’s meek and quiet spirit. I am just starting to see why He says it is precious in His sight. May we all walk in God’s truth in our relationships with our husbands.