Category Archives: Marriage

Three TImes

Three times God clearly told mankind to be fruitful and multiply. He has never taken that command back.   

“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth” (Genesis 1:28).

“And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 9:1). 

“And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein” (Genesis 9:7). 

No wonder there is such an attack on the innocent, defenseless unborn.

Inner Compass

Parents have to decide what they will encourage, discourage, limit, or restrict in their children’s lives as they disciple them in Christ Jesus. It starts with what the child will eat or not eat and over time includes activities and influences. If we do not take a position, our children will often interpret that as a blanket endorsement, which will produce disastrous fruit to be harvested later in the child’s life.

It is not enough to say “no” or “that isn’t according to our standards.” It takes careful, biblical explanations for each member of the family to either own or reject something for life. When so many today, even in the “church,” embrace things that are (at best) not edifying, the peer pressure our children will face to compromise is huge.

We dads first must live the example and disciple our children to look to God’s written Word and to walk in the Spirit. Those two will always be in agreement and never let us down. Our children must own the leading of the Spirit and delight in following Him.

Paraphrasing Andrew Murray: “Teach them to live for giving joy to their heavenly Father and in fear of grieving Him.”

“That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.” (Romans 8:4-6)

Steve

That’s Not the Way We Began

Some businesses are in trouble. Their current core values are not the ones they began with (i.e., Enron).

Some marriages are in trouble. They loved each other in the beginning.

Some children are in trouble. That wasn’t the way their parents began raising them. 

Our country is now in deep trouble. Yet, it was founded on Christian values.

Anything good will receive great amounts of negative pressure to compromise. Even though something begins well, it will usually drift over time. To stay the course year after year, however, takes courage and determination to do the right thing. Good values that are founded upon, must be values that are lived.

Life in Christ will take the same diligence. Satan wants you to compromise. He knows that if you are not in the Word every day, you will drift. If you are not listening to the Spirit and living what you are reading, you will drift. Will you cling to the blessed Lord Jesus, the Anchor of our souls, or will you be tossed to and fro? It comes down to your choice.

Hold fast. Your own life and the lives of your wife and children are far too precious not to.

“Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:21-22)

Steve

What’s It Worth to You?

Through the years we have known families who have invested significant finances and time to have good Christian fellowship. We have seen some sell houses and move across town or across the country to have that fellowship. What a blessing to be with others who are likeminded. But what if you don’t have those around you who are likeminded?

May I encourage you to embrace the possibility that the Lord may have a season of life in the wilderness for you? Are you willing to seek Him with all your heart and delight in Him? Moses, David, and John the Baptist all had times of being alone, and look what God did in their lives. Draw near to Him, be in the Word, and embrace loneliness. Ask the Lord to fill you with His presence. Then when the time is right, He will send earthly fellowship. In the meantime, rejoice in Him.

“And he said, The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence.” (2 Samuel 22:2-3)

Steve

Which Do You Prefer, Dusk or Dawn?

It’s easy to tell dark from light, but impossible to tell dusk from dawn by one snapshot in time. It is easy to tell by the decisions people make whether they are living in the dark or in the light. We have known many families whose lives were an example of walking in the light and many whose lives were examples of walking in the dark.

It is difficult to discern whether a family is walking in the dusk or in the dawn. If you took a photo of a family in either, unless you could tell by the direction of their shadows, you wouldn’t know whether it was dusk or dawn. You would know only by comparing snapshots over time. In a similar way, it takes observing a family’s decisions to predict whether they are walking from the light toward darkness or walking toward the light from darkness.

Dawn is good in our spiritual journey as we walk ever closer to our Lord and His light and away from darkness. As the Lord Jesus reveals more of His Light, we purge the darkness of evil as we draw near to Him.

Sadly, over the years we have observed families become more worldly as they head for the darkness. They are in dusk, gradually moving from the light to the dark, with ever increasing, even if slight, degrees of worldliness.

Which way are you leading your family? Each choice that we make is like a snapshot that records the direction of our movement. Take inventory in these areas as they indicate the condition and direction of our hearts: clothing, music, viewing habits, entertainment, and friends. “But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:13-16)

Steve

Life Takes Work

Dads usually work 40 or more hours a week.

Moms with several children often work 60 or more hours a week.

Those who have initiative and work hard will do far better in life than those who love entertainment and recreation.

God put man in the garden and on this earth to work. We do our children no favors if we do not teach them to enjoy work when, in fact, they will spend the majority of their daytime hours throughout their lives working.

Are we great examples of enjoying work, or do we “live for” fun and entertainment? Work is a blessing. If you doubt it, simply ask any immigrant or person who is out of work. 

Jesus Christ was totally focused on the “work” the Father gave Him to do on earth. He gave all of His day to His work. He finished His work and now sits beside the Father so that those who believe on Him might enter the rest of eternal life with Him.

Do we have a mind to work and be about the Lord’s business while He has us on this earth, or do we have a mind to play?  

“But Jesus answered them, My Father worketh hitherto, and I work.” (John 5:17)

Steve

Make sure to follow the Debt-Free Series which is just beginning on Titus2 blog.

Who Do You Relate To?

Have you noticed that not many husbands and wives are mentioned in the New Testament? Besides Joseph and Mary, there are two quite famous couples–Priscilla/Aquila and Ananias/Sapphira. Though both were loyal to each other in marriage, one was a noble team and the other ignoble. One focused on the Lord’s work; the other, on their personal benefit. Which one would you most likely be compared to? If your marriage is not being used of the Lord for His glory, time is running out. Shouldn’t you make some changes now?

How are you preparing your children for life? One aspect, is being good stewards of God’s provision. Are you raising them with the goal of them being debt-free? If you are committed to raising them to be debt-free, please write me by replying to this email. I would like to help.

“And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him” (Colossians 3:17).

Steve

Blessing or a Curse?

When rain comes, it is going to “rain on someone’s parade” spoiling some outside plans.

Snow makes driving hazardous. 

Employment can get in the way of other things one would prefer to do.

Marriage means being accountable to someone who will not always agree with you. 

Whether you live in the desert, a big city, the mountains, or Alaska, each has its drawbacks.

It all depends what you make of it. Will you, in faith, look beyond your circumstances and trust God to do a work that will bring you good and Him glory? 

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Steve

Walk-ins Welcome

At first glance, it sounds very inviting and maybe even too good to be true. For businesses where appointments are the norm, however, “walk-ins welcome” causes one to wonder why the appointments are not filled. Maybe a new doctor, hygienist, barber, or mechanic has come on board and needs to fill up his schedule. Possible, but perhaps lack of attention to existing customers or poor business practices has driven customers away. 

Over the years, I have observed some husbands “advertising” in a similar way due to marriage problems. They might just as well be wearing a sign “Walk-ins Welcome.” Sadly, all-to-often there seems to be some woman desperate enough to “walk-in” when she should avoid the guy like the plague.

If your marriage is in trouble, first look at what might be broken with yourself. Seek the Lord’s light to shine and expose and then by His grace fix it. Divorce, like abortion, is seen as a quick fix, but it only “breaks” lives. My dad and mom divorced when I was in my early teens, and it broke my heart and ruined their lives.

Brothers will come alongside of you to help, but whatever you do, don’t choose easy–choose good.   

“Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.” (Malachi 2:14)

Steve

An Introduction …

I want to introduce someone to you. To you all, she is Teri Maxwell, to me, she is my wife and “Sweetheart.” 

To homeschooling moms, she is seen as the mom who made scheduling practical and achievable with the resulting benefit of an organized and peaceful home. She has helped tens of thousands of moms see that it is actually possible to get it all done AND be both sane and happy. Years ago she was in trouble, with too much to do, and not enough time to do it. Together we worked to simplify her life so that it was manageable. We found by simply “automating” many of her daily decisions we got the big, ugly, evil green gorilla off her back. To me, she is a fantastic manager of our home, where it is peaceful and orderly – a place I’m happy to come home to and proud to welcome guests in.

To those struggling with depression, Teri is a beacon of hope pointing to the Lord Jesus Christ and a myriad of practical choices that gain freedom from the “evil gorilla.” Because Teri has been crushed by depression, ruled by anger, and hounded by the guilt of what she wasn’t accomplishing, nor the mom she wanted to be, weary, heavy-laden, moms know Teri understands them. To me she is a trophy of how God, in His mercy, can exchange beauty for ashes in all of our lives.

To our ten children she is “Mom.” Eight children who are seeking to follow their Lord Jesus Christ on this earth and two more who are with the Lord Jesus waiting for her in Heaven. Teri knows the pain of losing children through miscarriage therefore others who have lost children know she can relate to them. To me, her walk is one of daily, obediently, trusting in her Lord, that all things work together for good. She is the love of my life.

To her daughters-in-law she is one who will (like clockwork), spend time lovingly playing with and reading to the grandchildren and will invest in their homes when she senses she can be an encouragement. To me she is an example of investing energy into the lives of those you love.

So why this for a Seriously? I want the story of our lives together to encourage you in a couple of areas. You are a team with your wife. As goes with her – goes with you. If she hurts, you hurt. Brothers, I plead with you, if she is trouble, do whatever can be done – move Heaven and earth – to help her.

Show her your gratitude and if you aren’t grateful, repent. Love, cherish and nourish her. “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” (Ephesians 5:29). Lavish your love on her, not only Sunday, Mother’s Day, but every day.

Steve