Category Archives: Marriage

It’s Him!

How often do you read something or here a message and think how it applies to a number of guys you know? Maybe someone at church or a friend? We can so quickly dodge the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Oh what good may result if we are willing to be open to the Holy Spirit enough to say “Is it I?”

“And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I” (Matthew 26:21-22)?


What Would the Lord Jesus Suggest?

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” (Ephesians 5:25-29).


No, I Didn’t!

You know the drill. The child says, “It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do anything.She’s always blaming me.” But Dad and Mom have a different level of understanding of justice, love, and kindness than the less mature child has. Hence, parents keenly see the wrong that was committed. 

In a similar way, God, Who is Wisdom, watches our interactions with the wife of our youth and will see things that displease Him that we can be clueless about. God takes it very seriously and is not reluctant to apply consequences. 

Do you feel like your prayers bounce off the ceiling? Would you consider asking your wife if there are things she is struggling with in the relationship? 

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).


Why Would You?

When everything today is instant and delivered to you door, why would you go to Ft Smith, Arkansas, Feb 23/24, 2018, for a Family Energize conference? Simply put, there is something powerful and engaging when brothers-and- sisters-in-Christ meet together for inspiring teaching. 

More specifically, you and your family would benefit from the following:

• A big dose of motivation and encouragement

• Children encouraged in Christ and purpose

• Vision (where are you “headed?”)

• Likeminded fellowship and new friends

• Learning practical ways to be more efficient and get it all done

• Finding joy and peace when you are accomplishing what God is calling you to, 

I wonder if your wife would be thrilled if you told her you were taking the family to a weekend conference.

Homeschooling families often have more limited financial means because of Mom not working outside the home. That is why we don’t charge for those attending but have a love offering box on the display table.” We also have obtained a block of motel rooms nearby at a discounted rate. See conference registration details. 

I’d love to meet you there, and Teri would love to meet your wife. Will you come?


A Matter of Trust

Have you noticed how easy it is to see flaws in others and not recognize them in ourselves? When tempted to distrust your wife, have you considered whether you are worthy of her trust? “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?” (Matthew 7:3-4)

What is your wife’s confidence level in you: 

  • To put the needs of the family above your personal wants and desires?
  • That if you say you will do something, you will do it?
  • To keep your end of “any agreements?”
  • To be careful with family resources?
  • That you own the responsibility of discipling your children in the Lord Jesus Christ?
  • To value your time as priceless or do you waste it on empty pursuits?

May we each have the mindset that trust is earned–not deserved.


Success or Failure Oriented?

Dads, have you observed the new popular guidelines?

  • Don’t eat together as a family. One way to do that is not to have a set time for meals. Keep mealtime a secret until 5 minutes prior. Even if you know the time, demonstrate your independence by sitting down only when you feel like it. Also, consistent with this behaviour, don’t help your wife clean up after eating.
  • Don’t set a bedtime, and if you do, ignore it. Stay up late watching TV or doing something “important” on the computer. It is the most effective way to guarantee your wife can’t function well the next day (actually you too). To make sure this is an ingrained pattern for the children, allow them to enjoy movies and the media of their choice as late as they want. They will be irritable the next day and despise anything that looks like education.
  • Make pleasure/entertainment your pursuit, and you will fit right in with our society. No one will call you weird or peculiar if you do.
  • Be encouraged, these simple rules will easily be acquired by your children, and if you don’t like the outcome in their lives, it won’t be too difficult to find someone to blame. It’s not your fault anyway. 

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20).


Are You Insane?

Here’s a test: Do you do the same thing over and over and expect or hope for different results? That was Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity.

Scripture admonishes us to change —forsake old ways and embrace new ones.  We are new creatures in Christ. “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Sure old ways die hard. They are comfortable because we are used to them, but where God calls, He enables. “I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called” (Ephesians 4:1).


How’s the Fruit?

We caroled to our neighborhood Sunday night. As the family was caroling, I was overwhelmed with gratitude to the Lord. Forty-three years ago there was just Teri and me. Sunday night,  all twenty-three of my family – wife, children, grandchildren, and daughters-in-law were having a wonderful time showing Jesus’ love to our neighbors.

Are you seeking the Lord as you make decisions?  Are you proclaiming God’s mighty works to your family? Stay the course my brothers. Your children are eternal.  

“I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done” (Psalms 78:2-4). 



Most of us have worked with a coworker or for a boss who was ungrateful or hot-tempered. Working together was pretty miserable, wasn’t it?

Can you imagine being married to a person like that? Why is it some husbands think it is okay to be ungrateful, angry, or impatient toward the one they vowed to love until death? Where’s the fear of God?

“And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did?” (Luke 9:54).

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).


Give an Ear

What is the cheapest and most expensive thing you have to give? It costs you nothing, yet what you give it to will either reap huge dividends or be a burden if given to harmful things. It is your attention!

If you pay careful attention to your Lord, His Word, your wife, your family and to increasing vocational skills–oh what value you will receive back.

Families are starved for their dad’s attention. In addition to my observations, I recently read how men usually stop increasing their vocational skills after five years of employment. May we give our all to our Lord, our families and our work.

“Who hath ears to hear, let him hear” (Matthew 13:9).