Money is Cheap

Many have it upside down today. When they think of how much something costs, they think in terms of dollars. In reality, they should be thinking in terms of time. We can always get more money, but we only have a limited amount of time. That scarcity makes time invaluable.  

Most have heard the expression, “I’m spending my children’s inheritance.” They usually mean that they are spending their savings themselves, and there won’t be much left for the children after their death. 

Here’s another perspective for you to consider. When Dad or Mom don’t invest time in the lives of their children, might they be spending their children’s most crucial inheritance? How prepared your children are for life, their character, their walk with Christ— isn’t that far more important than any amount of dollars they might inherit?   

Child-raising years are priceless, and there are no second chances. No amount of money can replace what is lost in the child’s life. You that are heavily investing in your children’s lives are making the best choice. That investment is an inheritance they will benefit from for all eternity. 

“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:3-5).


Best Buffoon?

I’m sure you have noticed the trend in ads over the years that when someone is needed to play the part of the uninformed or ignorant, they will use a man, or it will be the dad.  They do not need to worry about backlash because it appears to be the politically safe choice these days. My question for you is: Do you think we men have earned this characterization?

If we are wholeheartedly seeking our Lord Jesus and following Him, we may appear peculiar, but we will always be making the wise choices. “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light” (1 Peter 2:9).

“We are fools for Christ’s sake, but ye are wise in Christ; we are weak, but ye are strong; ye are honourable, but we are despised” (1 Corinthians 4:10).


Cruise Control

Do you use cruise control on your car? I like it. It makes driving easier and more pleasurable. Plus I don’t have to be concerned about drifting over the speed limit and the “blue light” consequences.

Are you using “cruise control” each day? Did you know that good habits are like cruise control for our days? The right habits enable you to accomplish the right things – easily, without stress, and enjoyably.

Make a list of the good habits you have.  If consistent bedtime/wakeup time (I mean the same every day) isn’t at the top of the list, I encourage you to begin that one today. It will enable you to do things you never before thought possible. Teri has been encouraging moms to have the right habits, but we have “observed” that Dad is often the cause of shipwrecking Mom’s attempts at consistency. I believe no dad wants that for his home. Is that true for you?

“Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God” (Psalm 50:23).


Please, Not Those Two

Through many years of working with moms, I now recognize two words that are dismally sad, leading down a forlorn path. As soon as they are spoken or written, I can predict the outcome.

A mom comes to me with her problems, pain, struggles, or discouragement looking for answers, solutions, and help. Often I am a stranger to her, but her desperation drives her to reach out to someone she thinks might offer hope. I listen. I ask questions. I communicate. I give suggestions. Then, sadly in response, she says, “Yes, but.”

“Yes, but” is the beginning of all the reasons why this mom can’t or won’t try the ideas I offer. It isn’t that I have all her answers, or any of them for that matter, but without trying, she doesn’t know if they might work. Even if she has tried it in the past, that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be helpful now.

I Can or I Can’t?

There are two mindsets — “I can” and “I can’t” — that I encounter with moms. “I can” digs in and goes at it. She sets excuses aside. She doesn’t go to past failures. She makes plans and tackles it. I love watching her enthusiasm and her successes.

“I can’t” makes excuses and doesn’t try. She has many reasons why it won’t work and isn’t worth attempting. At the same time, she is yearning for change and for solutions. Where will that change come from if she doesn’t do something different? Einstein once said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results.”

I love working with “I can” moms, and my heart breaks when I hear “Yes, but.” It isn’t that it is easy for the “I can” mom, but she attacks her issue with gusto. She tries. She prays. She communicates if things don’t move forward. She tries again. She experiences change. Best of all she has the joy of victory, even when it is just a small problem, and especially when it is a big one.

The “I can’t” mom, stuck in the excuses mindset of “Yes, but,” continues in the quagmire of her problems — weary, worn out, and discouraged. Even though I try, I usually can’t pull her out of that kind of thinking. Each time I give an idea, there is another excuse, another “I can’t,” another “yes, but.” It appears to be a never-ending cycle.

My Desire

I want to be an “I can” mom. After all, I have the truth of “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). Plus, I know Scripture tells me, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

Yet, even though I have purposed to be the “I can mom,” I sometimes think or say, “Yes, but.” I pray the Lord will quickly convict me of that attitude, and help me set aside my pride, my excuses, my self pity, and my defensiveness, and enable me to receive advice, counsel, and suggestions with determination, initiative, fortitude, and responsiveness.

Who Are You?

If you evaluated yourself, who are you? I can, or I can’t? Now, I challenge you to listen to yourself. If you ask your husband for his advice on something, do you take it or explain why you don’t think it will work? If you go to a friend for counsel, and she gives you a suggestion, do you try it? When you read an article that relates to a problem of yours, do you attempt to do what it gives as steps to solutions or discount it as impossible for you?

We each get to decide whether we will be “I can” or “I can’t.” It starts with recognizing if our propensity is to be “I can’t.” If it is, then ask God to help you say and think, “I can.” Don’t let any excuses tumble from your mouth. Then follow through. Seek God’s strength, grace, and mercy as you do it. I wonder what the outcome of that decision might be over the next few months or year. I would love to know.

Trusting in Jesus,

Posted in: Mom's Corner


Recently, one of the family attended a funeral visitation. During that time they had opportunity to speak with the grieving widow. She said she was doing quite well, but went on to say, “The hardest thing through all of this is: who is going to love me?” She said that she knew God and her children loved her, but what would take the place of her husband’s love?

I admire that man who so obviously loved his wife. What a heartbreaking reminder his widow’s words are of the need for a wife to be loved. How many wives don’t feel loved even though they have a husband? May we be the men that God has called us to be in loving our wives so that they feel it.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25).